A Cowboy Named James
by Dulcedecorumest
Summary: SK pairing and set five years after S3E10. It's postIsland and the premise is that before everyone was rescued some very bad things happened to the Losties. For some reason nobody remembers much about what happened to them while on the Island. Except fo
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: **I read and took on board all the messages and reviews on A Clean Slate so I thought I should post an explanatory note. **

**If you have seen S3 E10 you know Sawyer and Kate kind of left things on bad terms before she went off in the jungle to get Jack back from the Others. You also know she now has Locke and Sayid for company! (Woo hoo, I think the next few episodes should drag the show right out of the mire it's stuck itself in.) **

**I for one, was not too impressed with the writing of our fearless badass couple. It seems the writers felt it necessary to sacrifice the banter and light-heartedness these two (actors and characters) do so well and made it all about the pain. So unlike my other fics, as a direct reaction to the writing on the show, I aim to bring back the banter and the light-heartedness. **

**In A Clean Slate, we had Kate lying on the ground somewhere bleeding to death and trying to remember things she had forgotten. Not to give too much away… a number of years had passed since she had killed Wayne and also since they crashed on the Island. She called herself Katherine Dorf. Which is FORD but the other way round, there is method to my madness I promise! Anyhoodle, James walked up to her and got ready to shoot her in the head… which is rather not like him. And she told him she remembered. **

**Now this fic is going to fill in the blanks before it progresses the story from that Kate-in- the-mud scene. **

**If after a few chapters y'all aren't feeling it, I will have to do something about it! I love to write, but I want y'all to enjoy the story I'm writing too, so all constructive criticism has a place at my table!! **

**Enjoy, and I hope I don't disappoint.**

**Chapter 1**

_James had lain on the huge lip of rock and stared up at the brilliant blue sky. Squinting at the glare of the sun he rolled his head to the right and looked at the slightly rippling surface. The waterfall was rushing down the side of the rock face with its usual unhurried force; and although he'd just come from attacking his body with Dharma soap and a natural sea sponge courtesy of Jin, he felt the need to immerse himself in the cool water again. The sun was roasting him._

_Sitting up, he got ready to rise just in time to see Kate approaching. She was walking with that purposeful stride that she adopted when she was determined to get her way but anticipated him to be difficult. _

_He closed his eyes to mask his relief; the last seven days that she had been gone had been his own private hell. When he had realized she was gone, he'd spent the days and nights, restless and racked with guilt. Knowing that if anything bad was to happen to her he would never forgive himself._

_Rising to face her, he braced himself for the undoubtedly justified vitriol that would spill from her lips. Jin had told him that everyone had come back from Jack rescue mission; but James hadn't understood the rest of what Jin was trying to say and the Korean man had given up heading hurriedly back for the beach._

_Kate raised an eyebrow at his state of undress as she stopped a few feet away from him. Frowning at his slightly guarded stance she crossed her arms across her chest and opened her mouth to speak._

"_Jack's back." She announced. 'Is that the best you could come up with?' Kate asked herself incredulously._

_James cocked an eyebrow at this, his trademark smirk tugging at the corner of his lips._

"_Golly, straight to the main course with you…I missed you too, Kate."_

_Kate narrowed her green eyes at him, without realizing she began to tap her right foot with impatience. _

"_He saved our lives Sawyer. He sacrificed himself so th-"_

"_Thanks for the memo Freckles but I was there remember? Got my face beat in and chest zapped a couple times too, remember that?" _

_James ground his teeth in frustration. Seven sleepless nights and this was the reward? She came here to talk about Jack, or was it to nag at him for not coming with her? Shaking his head in resignation he took a step towards her. Kate bristled in response, standing so rigid she was quivering like a skittish horse ready to take flight._

"_Is he okay?" James asked, careful to lower his voice; just like he was talking to a edgy colt._

_Kate looked away from James for a second and then brought her eyes to meet his. Suddenly unable to speak, frustrated tears welled up in her eyes as she just nodded mutely. James brought a hand up to touch her arm but she flinched. _

"_I guess that answers ma second question. You're okay too an' definitely hopin' I won't bring up what happened in the cages in front of St. Jack." He remarked sarcastically, unable to keep the ire from his voice. He nodded silently as he dropped his hand and took a step back, away from her. She glared at him mutely._

"_Good to see y'all got back safe an' sound Sheera, now if you'll excuse m-"_

_Whatever else James had been about to say was cut off by the force of Kate's hands as she shoved him; unprepared for her sudden movement, James reflexively brought his hands up around her waist, taking her with him as he fell backwards into the water._

_Tepid brown water enveloped them both as they were sucked down to the bottom of the pool before the laws of physics sent their bodies back up to the surface. Kate gasped for air as she tried to recover from the shock of finding herself in the water. Wiping the sandy clumps out of her eyes she stared at James who was standing right next to her in the knee-deep water. His shoulders shook as he tried to contain his laughter. Kate glared at him, moving as fast as she could in the brown swirling water towards the rocks, she shook off the dirty water that covered her bare arms. She'd just changed into these clean clothes!_

_James reached out and grabbed her hand, "Come on now, don't be like that, it's only a bit of dirt… take a dip with me an' we'll get you all cleaned up." He cajoled as he still continued to laugh._

_Kate begrudgingly turned to face him, despite herself a small smile escape; she shrugged a little as a way of apology for her behavior. James shook his head at her stubbornness and pulled her further in the water._

"_You're the cutest thing that I ever did see. I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree." James sang to Kate who was now laughing despite herself. He was walking backwards and he was leering at her breasts as he sang the word "peaches". How could she stay mad when he was turning on the charm like that?_

"_You wanna do the sound effects or should I?" James asked with a tilt of his head in her direction. They were now neck high in the water and Kate was giggling like a teenager. James splashed her face with some water. Gasping like a landed fish for a second; Kate retaliated by pinching his nipple which was just under the water. James yelped in surprise._

"_Sonofabitch! That hurt!"_

_Kate grinned at him evilly, slicking her hair away from her face she took a step closer; she was now standing between his legs. She raised her arms and cackled evilly when James tensed in preparation for some new assault; she let them hover above his shoulders before she interlinked her hands behind his head._

"_Good… it was meant to. Stop questioning my feelings for you, it hurts." Kate said seriously, softening the impact of her words with butterfly kisses on his face. James wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her up against him. He turned his face into her wet hair, nuzzling the skin behind her ear as she ran her hand up into his hair. Tugging insistently until he drew back to look into her eyes, Kate studied his face intensely._

"_You're bruises are gone, thank God I don't see any permanent damage." She observed eventually, as she stroked each of his eyebrows with her thumbs._

_James didn't say anything, choosing to look into her eyes as he searched for all the words he couldn't say. Kate caught the look on his face and smiled at him._

"_Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time...Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time !" Kate sang with off-key exuberance. James shook his head at her as he bent his head down so he could kiss her gently._

"_Peaches you got many talents but singin' ain't one of them… don't do that again, I think I heard Vincent at the beach howlin' in pain." He whispered against her lips. Kate smiled against his mouth laughing with him. Then she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him again, putting everything neither one of them seemed able to say into it._

_James didn't waste any time cupping her buttocks and wading out of the water to lay her on the rock he'd been using as a chaise lounge earlier. Kate gasped with anticipation as she studied his naked bronzed form. He looked better than she had remembered. 'Typical, I've been out in the jungle getting shot at and he's been tanning.' She observed wryly._

_James was unbuttoning her jeans and as he slid the thick and waterlogged material down her hips he placed each of his knees on either side of her legs. Reaching behind him he dropped the sodden pants on the ground with an experienced flourish._

_Kate raised her eyebrows at this, sitting up so she could pull her beloved purple tank-top over her head; she dumped it on the floor with equal skill and finesse. James cocked an eyebrow at this, opening his mouth to comment; he was cut off by Kate's decisive action. She gripped his mouth shut with her right hand and then using it as leverage, dragged him down to lie on top of her. In the blink of an eye she expertly flipped them over, landing them on the pebbly and slightly muddy earth._

_Pulling herself up she straddled him and bringing a finger to her lips, leaned down to kiss him, sucking on his tongue erotically as she caressed him. Leading him into her, she clenched her muscles with a satisfied moan and then sat back on her heels without moving. Everything was moving so fast, James' head was spinning._

_Kate rotated her head counter-clockwise, popping the bones in her neck as she did so. Then she brought her eyes down to meet his and started to rock her hips at a steady and controlled pace. James dug his hands into her hips, trying to exert some pressure on her to increase the tempo but Kate wasn't going to allow that. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his and took the opportunity to dig her hands into his already drying hair. Tugging on the roots as her hands cradled his scalp she forced him to look into her eyes. Kate increased her movements as a reward, holding onto him tight, they looked into each others eyes until their mutual climax a few minutes later._

_The rest of the afternoon was spent swimming and play-fighting in the water, and they would stop every now and again to kiss or touch tenderly. When they stepped out of the water all wrinkly and pruny, it was to Kate's great relief that the sun had been hot enough to dry the jeans and purple tank-top she'd laid out on the rocks. She'd taken just about enough teasing from James about how she was going to explain to everyone, including her "precious Jack" why she was walking around the jungle with no pants._

_James studied her naked body as they stood by the rocks, looking for injuries, he was relieved to see she had didn't seem to have suffered any serious harm. Although there were a few nasty looking bruises, they already appeared to be healing. They got dressed and walked back to the beach hand in hand, talking softly in the gathering dusk. As they approached the beach, Kate had tugged on James' arm stopping him in his tracks._

"_No more naked sunbathing by the waterfall without me okay?" Kate warned in a tone that brooked no argument. James who'd prepared himself to hear her say she didn't want anyone to know about whatever it was that was going on between them, nodded in relieved agreement._

"_An' no more disappearin' into the jungle to save spinal surgeons, teenage boys, or… Vincent or kittens without at least **tellin'** me okay?" James retaliated._

_Kate had smiled at this and kissing him softly; she had replied simply, "Okay."_

_Putting an arm around her they had walked on to the beach and joined the merry celebrations underway in commemoration of everyone's safe return._

_Over the next few weeks speculation was rife about what was going on between Sawyer and Kate; they slept in separate tents and never kissed in public. Yet whenever they were together in public and weren't bickering about something; people would stare at them openly curious. It had become an inside joke between them because it always happened when they were flirting or occasionally when they would be seen walking arm in arm or hugging. And James would sing, "People keep talkin' about me baby, say I'm doing you wrong." Kate would pretend to be mad when he'd bring his hands up and block his ears if she tried to sing the line she'd sang at the waterfall. Then they would sit outside his tent laughing and talking, as had become customary._

_When the weather had made it virtually impossible to live on the beach any longer, some people had moved back to the caves. James and Kate had decided to go with a handful of people in order to try and find if there was anywhere else for people to move to. The mission had been innocent enough but as always with the Island, nothing stayed that way for long. The had all been captured by the Others and even after their rescue from the Island a year and a half later; their lives would never be the same again. _

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dudes, you gotta press that button and REVIEW. It is manna from the heavens for me. And it most definately makes for faster updates.


	2. Chapter 2 Touching the Void

**Thank y'all so much for the reviews!! ****Here's the next chapter, after this there will be a time jump of 2 ½ years to bring us into the time period when A Clean Slate started. I already have the chapter after this one done but I thought I should keep it for a little longer as I'm still not completely happy with it.**

**Chapter 2**

_Camarillo Ranch Victorian Estate, California_

The ballroom glittered so brightly under the incandescent illumination of the countless chandeliers. Their twinkling lights reflected off the expensive watches, necklaces and earrings; so much so that the more cynical observer would have found the façade brittle and unyielding. But the truth of the matter was that amongst the jewel colored dresses and immaculate designer suits, only one guest stood so far away from the mingling men and women to be classified an observer. His body language positively radiating not only his general cynicism towards the people present at the gathering, but life as a whole.

Many a female had attempted to initiate some form of conversation with the jaded, dangerous looking Adonis, but after a biting remark or a hateful fiery blue glare they had all stayed far away from him for the rest of the night.

This suited James Lee Ford perfectly fine, he hadn't been inclined to accept the invitation to this farce and he was still cursing himself for his last minute decision to come. James didn't bother lying to himself about his reasons for turning up here he knew well enough that the heart was an insubordinate servant and an even more catastrophic master. He was here to satisfy his curiosity or if he was to be brutally honest, feed the beast that was his obsession with _her_.

'Oh yeah big guy, you're a real sucker for a pretty face and good screwing.' James thought to himself. Snorting to himself in self disgust he signaled the waiter to bring him a glass of champagne, he needed something to chase the triple scotch he'd just tossed back.

The waiter changed direction and approached James with a tray laden with champagne flutes. James picked up two flutes in a fluid motion and slipped the waiter a $20 without breaking the waiter's stride. The waiter, a good-looking dark-haired teenager whose nasty looking hairline scar betrayed the undoubtedly troubled life he lead, inclined his head towards James in wordless thanks before heading for a group of women who were beckoning him drunkenly.

James turned away from the mélee and strode out towards the wrap-around porch and into the inviting night air; the din in the room and the brightness of the lights was starting to give him a headache.

"Twenty more minutes an' you can jump this ship." He muttered to himself as he chased the flavor of the whiskey away with the first glass of champagne. Setting the glass on the floor by his feet, James leaned over the railing and surveyed the well-sculptured gardens, cursing himself for appreciating their beauty.

"Gotcha."

James swiveled to his left to see who was talking to him, and couldn't stop himself from choking on the champagne he'd just sipped when he realized that she was actually standing there in front of him.

Kate's brow furrowed with concern as she watched the Southerner choke on his champagne, she took a step closer and took the champagne flute from his clenched fingers with her right hand. Then reaching over with her left hand she whacked him in the back a few times in an attempt to help. After a few more gasps and wheezes, James' choking settled to a few intermittent coughs, moisture clouding his vision he brought his fingers up to rub away at the tears that had formed. When he brought his hand back down he almost started choking again as he drank in her appearance.

The source and the soother of his pain was intoxicatingly beautiful, that was a matter of fact. She was wearing a diaphanous lime green and cream silk gown that flaunted her best assets; the plunging neckline, the figure hugging waist and then the full ankle-length skirt and its frothy petticoat that peeked from beneath and brushed the tips of her pedicured toes. They combination packed one hell of a punch. Her emerald green eyes sparkled in amusement at his obvious appreciation of her attire and for some reason she found herself twirling so he could get a view of the equally plunging back that showed of her smooth, gold dusted and toned shoulders to perfection.

When she turned back around to face James the look in his eyes shocked her to the very core. The Southerner was looking at her so intensely, and so possessively it should have scared her at the very least, but it didn't. Instead she found herself taking another step closer.

'You will always dance to close to the fire Katherine.' Kate thought to herself, not surprised to hear that although they were her thoughts she heard her mother's voice. Mentally shrugging the echoing voice in her head she beamed at the immobile man in front of her.

"Everyone's talking about you. Actually, they're whispering about you because they're afraid you might hear them and kill them with those dirty looks of yours."

James looked down at the face that was upturned to his and closed his eyes for a second, he knew every freckle, every eyelash, every blemish and flaw on that face better than he knew the back of his hand. She was so close to him he only had to bend his lips to hers and kiss her. Opening his eyes he took one step back, it felt like his heart was trying to leap right out of his chest and into her hands. Unconsciously he brought a hand up to his breast as if to stop it.

"An' you're not scared?" He rasped out finally, his blue eyes glittering in the shadows as he continued to stare at her. His throat was scratchy from his choking fit, the bubbles of the champagne had scraped it painfully.

Kate's smile faltered slightly, she could not only hear the danger in his voice but sense the violence that seemed to be brimming very close to the surface. What was she doing out here anyway? Her eyes left his and she took in his smart appearance, 'He cleans up well!' She observed to herself, as her eyes raked his form appreciatively.

"No… not really." She replied thoughtfully. A small flirtatious smile graced her lips as she unabashedly brought her eyes back up to meet his.

She proffered the now half-empty flute she'd taken from him when he was choking but he didn't react. He just continued staring at her in that unsettling way that made the hairs on the back of Kate's neck stand up and her belly coil in anticipation simultaneously. 'What is the matter with you? 'Why am I acting like this?' Kate asked herself with irritation.

"Maybe you should be." James ground out as his chest started to heave with suppressed emotion. 'Oh no you don't you sonofabitch, don't you let her get under your skin, you came, you saw, now leave.' He berated himself.

Kate felt her palms start to sweat so she brought the rejected glass to her lips and took a large, calming sip. What the hell was happening here?

James narrowed his eyes dangerously as he watched the liquid go down her throat with a little too much attention. This was not going well at all, it had been a mistake to accept the invitation.

"So now that you've proven to the whole world that you ain't scared of me why don't you go on back in an' join the rest of party?"

Kate blinked for a second before moistening her lips with the tip of her tongue. She noticed that James' blue orbs didn't miss a second of that motion, and she found herself flushing.

"We were kind of friends on the Island… the details are fuzzy but I know we used to hang out sometimes… before you stole the guns. It was our first couple of months there. Do you remember that?"

She hadn't taken another step towards him but she spread out her left hand with the palm up in an attempt to reach him. The openness in her face and the sincerity in her green eyes were painful for him to behold.

Flinching inwardly, James remembered all too well what their relationship on the Island had been like. He remembered their captivity by the Others, the first time they had demonstrated their feelings for each other, Pickett trying and almost succeeding with his murder. James remembered their escape; their very first fight about leaving Jack and God knows what else. There had been so many undercurrents running through that argument he still didn't know to this day what the single cause was. Yes James remembered Kate telling him he just had to say sorry and they could start afresh, with a clean slate. Then he remembered her going after Jack with Locke and Sayid, he remembered the sleepless nights and restless days until they returned. His concerns had alternated between fear for her safety and fear for what was happening between her and Jack. Then he remembered their reunion, it was the first time they truly made love and the memory of it alone still gave him chills.

"I guess you don't. I'm sorry I bothered you. I'll leave you to your brooding." Kate said with palpable disappointment. She set the now empty champagne flute on the ground next to the other one and with one last look over her shoulder made to walk back inside.

James snapped out of his reverie and without thinking, lunged for her arm pulling her back from the threshold.

"Wait!" He hissed at her, the desperation in his voice audible.

Kate turned around to face him, a small flicker of hope glowing in her eyes.

"I do remember Freckles. I just thought that you wanted to forget." James said to her, his voice mirroring the sincerity of his words.

Kate smiled at him tentatively, "You called me Freckles. I remember that! You had a nickname for everyone!"

James grinned at her mischievously, "More than one last time I counted Sassafras."

Kate laughed softly as her eyes searched his face, "Yeah, I remember that too, now."

James let go of his bruising grip and gestured vaguely with his left hand, "Care to sit down, an' shoot the breeze a lil'?"

Kate nodded in agreement, smiling even wider when he gallantly pulled out one of the two chairs next to them. She gratefully took the seat and scooting her chair closer to the railing propped her feet on it, making a comical picture with her sophisticated hairstyle and dress. James smiled down at her indulgently for a moment before he took the other seat and mimicking her action, propped his feet up on the railing too.

They smiled at nothing in particular in the dark before Kate turned a questioning gaze on James. It all felt very natural, like coming home.

"I don't know why I didn't realize this earlier, but it is so like you to turn up at the one year anniversary of our rescue and stand in a corner drinking and glowering at everyone."

James kept his eyes on the dimly lit gardens and didn't turn to look at Kate but he did allow himself to smile at her comment. Kate took this as encouragement to keep on talking and she wasn't going to squander the moment, knowing him she knew it wouldn't last long.

"Everybody else still calls you Sawyer you know. Except for Locke and I, we know better."

James harrumphed at this remark and finally taking the bait swung around to look at her. Raising an eyebrow slowly, he smirked at her.

"An' how exactly do you an' Mr. Clean know better?"

Kate's smile grew so wide James worried it would split her face in two.

"We just do. The memories may be lost but the echoes still remain and we both seem to remember it being important not to call you Sawyer."

James frowned at her.

"So none of y'all have gotten your memories back?"

Kate shook her head ruefully, "Nope. And if you weren't such a loner and actually came to the group therapy sessions we had straight after the rescue you would know that. Why, do you remember what happened after the sky went purple?"

James didn't skip a beat, "I most certainly don't an' if the state all of us were in when we got rescued was anythin' to go by, I'd say we got the good end of the deal."

Kate stared at him for a few seconds, her expression serious as if she was trying to read him. Eventually she turned back to stare out at the garden and rocked back on her chair slightly.

"So what do you do now James? Where do you live? Why didn't you even say goodbye to _anyone_ after our rescue?" Kate asked with a hint of frustration. Why couldn't he volunteer information about himself like a normal person?

"Well Nancy Drew, I live in Canada, out in the middle of nowhere, I work from home so I can take care of my k- uh business. An' I didn't say goodbye 'cause I didn't think _anyone_ would notice. No mystery, just the quiet life for me." James finished off cheerfully, his heart thudding at his near slip.

He risked a side-glance at Kate who didn't seem to have noticed. She was watching him intently and there was a slight furrow in her brow from the strain trying to grasp a memory that had teased its way in her head before slipping away silently like fish in a stream.

"Sounds lonely." Kate finally managed to say.

James shrugged, with his trademark smirk in place; he appraised her before replying, "You volunteering to alleviate my loneliness?"

Kate rolled her eyes and smiled at him sweetly, "As subtle as that was, no I'm not, something tells me my fiancée wouldn't approve."

James raised an eyebrow at this, his eyes darting to survey her left hand. His heart started to beat triple-time. How had he not noticed that earlier? There was a big pale yellow diamond ring gleaming on her ring finger.

"Congratulations. Jack-o finally decided to make an honest woman outta you, huh?" James quipped, surprised at how only a little of the bitterness he felt seeped into his voice.

If Kate noticed she didn't show it, instead she nodded happily, her eyes gushing with emotions that lacerated James' heart.

"Yep, and it's about time, living in sin for a year and a half on that Island plus the year since our rescue makes it long overdue."

James smirked at this, barely managing to hide the pain each word in that sentence punctuated with cruel accuracy.

"So when's the big day?"

"Next month, this was kind of a joint reunion engagement part deal, couldn't think of 60 other people and their families we'd want to share this with." Kate was practically glowing with happiness.

Something in her voice angered James more than everything else that had happened tonight did. The need to lash out at her and make her feel a fraction of what he was feeling was so strong.

"From what I remember of you, I would never have pegged you as the professional Stepford wife type. You always struck me as too strong-willed and independent for that."

James remarked with the right amount of thoughtfulness in his voice.

Kate's smile faltered slightly but her eyes didn't lose their internal glow.

"I think I'm going to just be a part-time weekend housewife, and a full-time wife. I'm getting married not dying! Why does everyone think I'm gonna have to sacrifice any of my personality traits? I'm going to be working for a major private security company, actually…in fact I already am."

James shrugged and gave her a knowing look, speaking softly he said, "An' how does the Doc feel about that Sassafras? I bet he don't like it one bit."

Kate got defensive, "Yeah because he's worried about me, but I can take care of myself. He'll get over it. It's all about compromise, I would have liked to own a nice piece of sprawling land somewhere not too densely populated, but Jack doesn't. Besides, he has to stay in LA because he's such an amazing spinal surgeon."

"Well if you ask me I'd choose open spaces an' freedom over a concrete jungle any day. I guess I'm just selfish."

"No, you're not selfish, you're just you. If you had someone you loved and you didn't have everything in common with them, you would compromise like I have. Trust me."

Kate said, with an enigmatic smile on her face. She studied James through her lashes as his eyes flashed in rapid succession from pain to anger to resignation to hope to humor.

"Well, that's a mighty fine speech Freckles, I guess I'll just have to take your word for it." He drawled the charming smile back in place and the eyes twinkling.

"You're not going to trust me?" Kate challenged jokingly, but strangely enough she was invested in what his answer was going to be.

"No… 'cause I ain't the one tryin' to convince myself that I'm goin' to be happy married to someone who's needs an' wants will always come first." James couldn't help himself.

"What are you saying?" Kate asked with an edge in her voice.

"I'm sayin' he's an asshole an' he's not the right one for you." James answered with an equal edge. His blue eyes flashed in the meager light.

"So what… you know who is? Let me guess it's _you_ right? God James you're such a pig. You don't know me and you don't have the faintest idea what I would or wouldn't want in a relationship, let alone a marriage!" Kate's eyes snapped green fire as she spoke. In the back of her mind she couldn't help but feel that they had had this argument before.

James studied her intently to see if she remembered anything from their exchange. He'd intentionally said the very same things he'd said to her what was now a lifetime ago on the Island. And she had pretty much said the very same things, except back then the argument had ended with some vigorous makeup sex. Somehow he didn't see things playing out that way tonight. Especially when he saw the close shaven dark head of Jack Sheppard, spinal surgeon and Island Hero extraordinaire step out onto the porch.

"Hello Sawyer."

James grit his teeth at the sound of Jack's voice, it took everything he had not to respond to the greeting by smashing his fist into the surgeon's face. Putting his feet down, he rose from his seat and held out his hand to Jack. The spinal surgeon hesitated momentarily before taking it. James merely raised an eyebrow to this and with a sardonic smile, released the doctor's hand as he watched Kate rise from her seat. Her face and eyes were shining with affection for Jack when she linked an arm through his and reached up to kiss his lips. Their slightly heated discussion and whatever memories it may have evoked forgotten.

Jack didn't respond too passionately but he slid an arm around her waist and squeezed her gently before turning back to James.

"Hurley really outdid himself putting this together, do you think you could find it in you somewhere to tear yourself away from the shadows and thank him?" Jack demanded angrily.

James' eyes betrayed nothing his lips twisted in smirk at the doctor's words.

"Gee _Dad_ if you feel so strongly about it why don't you tell him for me?"

"Yeah that's right, come back swinging. Despite everything we've been through you still can't find it in you to do the right thing, be a decent human being. I can understand you not speaking to me but everybody Sawyer? Why did you bother turning up?" Jack was practically yelling now.

'I did do the right thing you self-righteous sonofabitch! I did do the right thing an' nobody from that fuckin' Island remembers it but me!' James wanted to yell. But he knew he wouldn't, what was done was done. He felt like his fists were physically itching with the need to pummel the older man into a bloody pulp, but Kate's gasp and the alarm in her wide green eyes as she saw James flex his fists stopped him.

"It was nice to see you again Freckles, but I have to go anyway. _Jackass_, always a pleasure! 'Scuse me." James brushed past the couple and stepped back into the ballroom.

The laughing people and the brightness of the lights almost seemed to thunder in his head, garish and grotesque in the face of his oncoming headache. Determinedly, he plowed through people in an attempt to get to the cloakroom.

Pulling out his ticket he handed it to the cloakroom girl and stood impatiently as she went to search for his coat in the other room.

"Hey, Sawyer! You leaving already man? The party's just getting started dude!" Hurley clapped Sawyer on the shoulders as he spoke.

James rolled his eyes and shrugging off the bigger man he turned to reply.

"As much fun as I'm havin' here Lardo, I got somewhere else I have to be."

Hurley wasn't having any of that, "Come on dude, stay a lil' longer! None of us have seen you since that boat docked in Fresno last year! Charlie's just dying to play you his rescue song. And there are plenty of ladies for you to come onto man."

James shook his head with irritation and general impatience, practically pouncing on his coat when the girl handed it to him.

"Here's one! Oh wait, okay not her, she's taken. Hey Kate!"

James turned back around to see that sure enough Kate was standing in front of him and most importantly she was in the way between him and the front door.

"Hurley, can I talk to James alone?" Kate spoke to Hurley but she didn't take her eyes off James.

James shot Hurley a warning look commanding him not to move but it was obvious who the other man was more afraid of as he shrugged and beat a hasty retreat. 'Sorry dude!' Hurley mouthed at James. The Southerner rolled his eyes and nodded his head in understanding as he reluctantly turned his undivided attention to Kate. He was taken aback when he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

"I feel… I think there is something really important to me… something really important that happened on the Island that I should be remembering, but I can't. And when I saw you tonight, I couldn't help but feel that this important thing and you were connected. Do you know what I'm talking about?" Her voice quavered with emotions she could not define as she spoke.

James reached out to touch her but restrained himself at the last moment, letting his arms fall to his sides uselessly.

"I'm sorry Freckles, I can't say do. Why would it be connected to me?" He replied in a reasonable tone. Kate shook her head in denial.

"I don't know. I was hoping you could tell me. I was hoping that maybe you could give me your number and we could go to some sessions with my therapist together. She keeps telling me there is a missing link and that once I find it maybe I ca-"

James interrupted her with an amused snort. Shaking his head gently he looked Kate in the eyes.

"My idea of therapy is bottled by Jim Bean an' Southern Comfort an' that's how I like it. I'm not your missin' link Sweetcheeks I can guarantee you that. Like I said some things are best left dead an' forgotten. Like that missin' year an' a half. If it was worth rememberin' don't you think you would've already?"

Kate shrugged unsure of the answer to the question; she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, grateful that she was wearing her practically industrial strength waterproof makeup.

"I've had a little too much to drink and seeing everyone like this is getting to me in more ways than one. In fact I don't remember ever being this drunk since_ long_ before our plane crashed! We've all been through so much together, well maybe not so much with you because you were such a loner, but still… I'd really like it if you kept in touch, James. If you came to some more of these gatherings, tried a little harder?" Kate ventured tentatively.

James thought about how painful having to see her and Jack married and happy together would be for him, especially when despite the amnesia she still seemed to be drawn to him all the same. Looking down at her upturned face, her searching slightly wet green eyes, James knew he was about to say something incredibly stupid. Before he could open his mouth to agree to her unsubtle request, his cellphone rang.

Recognizing the special ringtone James tore his eyes away from Kate and answered the phone just as Jack appeared by Kate's side, his brown eyes angrily accusatory. Kate let Jack wrap his arms around her shoulders, turning to talk to him while James took the call.

"Hey Ford, where are you? They won't go to sleep until you get here. It's already a quarter after midnight and you were supposed to be back fifteen minutes ago! I'm supposed to be at Trey's party remember!? Oh my God!! Is that music? _Have you even left yet_!?"

The teenage girl's voice nearly reached a shriek at the last question. James shut his eyes resignedly; this was going to be a long night. Turning back towards Kate and Jack as they stood there staring at him, James raised his hand in parting. Kate started to move towards him but Jack held her back.

Covering the phone with his right hand, James said to her, "Good luck to you Freckles, as Bill Shakes said, 'all's well that ends well'."

"Be safe, James." Kate responded. Her face was crest-fallen.

Suddenly, her eyes flashed in remembrance of a similar parting occurring at some point in the past. James saw this and with a wink for her walked out the imposing front doors and into the California night.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Press that button, and please review, the future of this fic is in your hands!


	3. Chapter 3 Moonlight and Magnolia

Okay, quite a few things happen in this chapter. The alerts on this site don't seem to be working for some reason! I haven't done a single thing I was supposed to do in order to get this chapter out to y'all. Now enjoy, I for one have to go and eat something!

**Chapter 3 – All that you can't leave behind**

Katherine Dorf surveyed the Manhattan skyline with a familiar sense of satisfaction. In the 3 years that she'd worked and lived in this city she had never gotten over the briskness of the pace, the overwhelming sense of all being united in the quest to be the best. To make the most money, wear the best clothes, have the best apartment. She allowed herself a small smile as she critically assessed herself.

She had the prized corner office on the 61st floor, with two of her four walls made out of the best glass money could buy. Her hair was cut in a chic shoulder-length French bob, a style she'd kept for as long as she'd been living in NYC. Kate leaned back in her leather chair and took stock of her body; muscled arms, toned thighs, abs that would make Britney Spears pre-pregnancies jealous and clothes that would have been showcased on Sex and the City if the show had still been on the air. Katherine Dorf could not complain her life on paper was straight out of a Jackie Collins novel.

Without realizing it a sigh escaped her glossy lips as she stared back out at the night sky.

'I'm in the office at 1 a.m. and I've got nothing left to do. The presentation's tomorrow and I really should get some sleep if I plan on dazzling these Southern Gentlemen with my beauty and wit.'

Sighing again Kate placed her hands on the armrests of her chair and pulled herself up. Picking up her handbag she turned off the lamp on her French polished mahogany desk and headed for the door and out to the elevator.

Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, Kate steeled herself for the empty apartment that would greet her when she got home.

'Yeah let's not forget the nightmares!' She reminded herself unnecessarily.

The elevator doors slid open silently and she stepped into the plush carpeted interior. Pressing the button for the ground floor, Kate held her breath and counted to five, 'Come on Katherine! You've come a long way from being Kate Austen and scared of some smoke monster!' She chided herself as the elevator sped down the floors.

As soon as the doors slid open, Kate stepped out and walking briskly past the security guard she stepped out onto the never-ending bustle of Wall Street as she headed towards the Upper East Side and the apartment she shared with her absentee but brilliant boyfriend Jack Sheppard.

**A few hours later**

Kate climbed into the large bed and burrowed down into the pillows, Jack wasn't home nor had she expected him to be. Lately he was spending more and more time at the hospital or abroad. Kate didn't care, not really, their relationship had long ago settled into one of a close friendship with casual sex over the last two years. They hadn't done something more permanent about the break of their engagement because they were in a comfort zone. Mentally shrugging, Kate knew she didn't mind. She was too busy fighting the hazy nightmares and the general feeling that something was missing to care. Besides she had a career and a reputation to rebuild. She'd wasted too much time on the run before they had crashed on the Island and she had always felt she needed to over-compensate. Besides, when your live-in boyfriend was as brilliant a spinal surgeon as Jack was, there was no shying away from hard work. Everything about the man and his life was hard work!

Kate closed her eyes and visualized the beach on the Island the way it looked as the sun was setting. Her therapist had told her that it was healthy to associate something that came from such a traumatic period in her life with peace and calm; given the overall stress of her daily life before and after the crash. Kate didn't argue with this, all she knew was that she felt comfortable with the visual, it soothed her and at this juncture that was the most important thing to her. 'I need my sleep, I need it restful. Tomorrow I'm going to nail those Southerners to the wall.'

And with that Katherine Dorf succumbed to sleep and into the waiting arms of her always hazy and recently more recurring convoluted dreams.

**The Next Morning**

Kate pulled at her vintage light mauve Chanel suit in a small gesture of nervousness. The consultants from the company's Southern Regional Offices were waiting in the boardroom and she was late. 'Not exactly the best way to make a good first impression, Katherine!' She thought to herself derisively.

Placing a calm and collected look on her face she strode into the boardroom with the confidence of a model on a catwalk. As she knew and expected; all heads turned to watch her progress to the front of the boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting." Kate said without a hint of apology in her voice or her face.

Six heads of various color, size and amounts of hair turned to look at Kate as she naturally commanded attention with her striking features and presence.

Kate looked around the room and ensured she made eye contact with every single one of the men seated around the large table. Her eyes fell on a clean-shaven, dirt blonde man she assumed was around 35 years old. 'He is drop dead gorgeous!' Kate thought to herself, startled by the effect the sapphire eyed man with the closely cropped hair was having on her and her hormones.

His eyes met hers in silent yet amused challenge and Kate swore she could see the actual sparks flying between them. Giving herself a strong and vigorous mental slap, Kate turned to look at the other men in the room.

"Well, let's just cut straight to the reason why we're all here. My bosses want us to expand the Securicare product and clientele into even the remotest areas of the South and you guys are here to tell me why it's the best idea ever so I can present them with a portfolio."

'God, I sound up my own ass.' Kate thought as she took her seat with calculated grace. Reaching for the glass of water next to her file, Kate took a much needed sip, she'd only been in the room three minutes and already the blue-eyed charmer sitting closest to her was making her temperature rise.

"To be honest with you ma' am, this is gonna be a real short meetin' all of us here are in agreement that it's the best damn, excuse ma language, idea we've heard in a long time." Replied the bald haired, but still attractive middle aged man sitting at her left, he had leathery skin due to exposure to the elements and his face was kind.

The other four men nodded their heads in agreement. All were in agreement except for one. Kate curled her toes for a split second before she turned to the Southerner.

"You _don't_ agree sir?" She asked sweetly, her face showing that she didn't really care about his opinion.

He leaned forward with an open expression on his face, and Kate wasn't sure but she could swear there was a hint of a smirk too. 'Why do I feel like I've met him before?' she asked herself in puzzlement. Even his name rang a bell, and he certainly was looking at her like he knew her.

"As a matter of fact I don't. You bring that shit into the South an' people are actually gonna need that kinda security. Things stay as they are, you leave the Securicare stuff to the businesses an' everythin' will be just fine."

Kate arched an eyebrow at his use of an expletive but didn't react any other way.

"I think over 10 million reliable opinions on the kind of services we provide and how they will factor into daily lives would disagree with you Mr. Ford."

"You ask me to get you 10 million folks to swear they believe they were dung beetles in their past lives an' I can get 'em for you. Those questionnaires don't mean shit." He retorted smoothly.

Kate dug her heel into the carpet in frustration, this man was according to the file her assistant had handed to her in the elevator, the single man that held all the power regarding this decision in the room. It galled her that she had to waste her time arguing with him over whether or not her salary was going to bumped up to six figures, ultimately that was what it came down to.

"Well Mr. Ford, these are the Federal approved questionnaires for the services we provide. You get Federal approval for your dung-beetle experiment and then you might have a hope in hell of stopping this." Kate volleyed back at him, unable to stop the self-satisfied smile that lit her face up when she finished.

Her opponent smiled at her in reluctant admiration before he placed his hands on the table and rose from his seat. He turned to face Kate and she found herself rising out of her seat in order to balance out their positions, she didn't want him towering over her, it made her look weak. And she did not want this man or any of the other men here to think she was easily intimidated. She knew how their Southern minds worked, if she buckled now they would never respect her enough to work with her.

"_I_ said_ no_, Peaches… an' as far as everyone here is concerned that's the _only_ opinion that matters." James said in a steely voice covered in silk.

He was glaring at her and standing so close that all Kate had to was lean forward to kiss him. 'Now why would you think a thing like that, Kate?' She asked herself in confusion. Outwardly, her cheeks flushed as she realized that she was very sexually attracted to this man.

James' eagle eyes didn't miss a thing; he knew what effect he was having on her and he also realized she probably had no idea what effect her perfume and proximity was doing to him.

The rest of the boardroom remained silent as they watched the two biggest personalities in the room square off in preparation of what they all deduced was going to be a hell of an argument. The tension between the two was so strong it felt like a living breathing thing.

"For _now_, maybe, but I wouldn't bet the farm on that being the case for much longer _Sawyer_." Kate ground out triumphantly, as all the chips fell into place in her head.

She hadn't recognized him initially because his hair was different and other than that one drunken night at the one year anniversary party she hadn't seen him in over four years.

"The name's James, Peaches. I appreciate you ain't used to hearin' no for anythin' once you bat those pretty little eyelashes but it's my call. An' we're done here." James ground out angrily, his temper was flaring and he really wanted to wrap his hands around her neck and wring it.

"I don't think we've even_ started_…James. I am willing to concede defeat if I have a worthy opponent but so far you've done nothing to show me that you're worthy." Kate spoke archly, enjoying the ire she saw spilling out of his eyes. From what she remembered of Sawyer, James, whatever; he was easily rattled, especially by her.

"Comin' from you Peaches-"

"Don't call me Peaches, it's undermining. A cheap shot and I guess totally up your alley, but my name is Katherine. Thanks." Kate interrupted. She found herself enjoying this exchange. It had been a while since anyone in this business had disregarded all the power her job position commanded.

"Touché. Since we're talkin' about alleys should I assume yours is no longer fit for a spinal surgeon, seein' as I don't see no ring on your finger."

Kate's elbow crunched in his face with deadly accuracy, everybody in the room winced. Everyone except for Kate and James; she merely stared at him, her breathing slightly labored. James shook his head a little to clear his vision, perversely he felt an absurd amount of satisfaction that he'd gotten the Ice Maiden as she was known in this business to crack. Looking at her and the furiously ticking pulse at the base of her throat, he knew she had remembered the first time she'd elbowed him in the face. And the events that had precipitated that action back then.

Stabbing her with one last knowing steel blue gaze his eyes swept her form appreciatively before he snorted in disgust and strode out of the room.

The boardroom was so silent Kate was sure everybody could hear her heartbeat thumping frantically and painfully in her chest. Keeping her face neutral her gaze swept the room where the other men were exchanging glances as they gathered their portfolios in preparation to leave. What the hell had just happened here? She looked out the glass walls to see that everyone in the outside office was staring at her with curious fascination.

"Ms. Dorf, I do apologise for Mr. Ford's behavior, we all do. But until he approves this, our hands are officially tied ma'am. Tis a real shame 'cause it woulda been mighty lucrative for everyone involved." John LeBoeuf the middle-aged man who had spoken earlier, offered apologetically. He was professional enough not to mention her own behavior, and his face didn't show any of the things he was obviously thinking but not saying.

Kate took a deep breath and nodded, unable to speak, she smiled at all of them before she excused herself and strode out of the room, heading straight for the elevator James Ford had disappeared into.

As she rode down the elevator Kate asked herself what the hell she was going to say to him when she saw him. She was still seething from his veto as well as his general attitude towards her. So much so that she forgot to be frightened of the enclosed space. Reaching the ground floor lobby she frantically scanned the floor for the tall, well-formed figure of James Ford but he was nowhere to be seen. Practically running to the front-desk she asked the receptionist, Laura, if she'd seen him.

"He just got into his car and left, it was headed for JFK, I think Katherine. I'm sorry." The woman apologized.

Laura was more than a little alarmed at seeing the younger woman like this, wild-eyed and flushed. A complete contrast to her usual aloof and sophisticated exterior; Kate looked like she was in the middle of a lover's spat, something that anyone who knew her would find extraordinary. She never lost control or really showed any emotion, even when she used to argue with her boyfriend Jack.

"Okay, so get me a cab, please. I need to get to the airport and-"

"Ms. Dorf? What's the matter? If you're tryin' to catch James you're out of luck, I just spoke to him an' he's already on the way to the company private jet. We're gonna hang around the city for a few days, an' do some sightseeing instead." John LeBoeuf interrupted helpfully.

Kate was staring at him without responding, bringing her hands up to her hair she tucked the strands behind her ears. Then clasped them unsure what to do with them next; she brought them down uselessly to her sides. She took a deep calming breath and swallowed painfully, she couldn't believe she was acting like this over Sawyer!

"Thank you Mr. LeBoeuf. I guess that's it then! My bosses won't be happy about this… and you know that we'll get our deal one way or another, right?" She said smoothly, her confidence back in place.

John nodded in understanding, before he offered her his hand again, "Yes ma'am I do. Which is why I think that maybe on our way back you should come with us, give it one more shot?"

Kate's face brightened as she smiled at the other man, "I think that's a great idea! Send my assistant the itinerary and I'll meet you at the airport. I'd love to take you out to dinner and show the city while you're here, too. What are your plans for tomorrow evening?"

John was helpless to her charms as she flirted slightly with him and he found himself shaking his head, "I'm free, an' that is mighty kind of you, I wouldn't want to put you out."

Kate dismissed his suggestion with a wave of her hand, "Don't be silly, it's the least I could do after the way I acted upstairs. S-James and I have a bit of a history; we survived the 815 crash together… and let's just say that we know how to get to each other."

John nodded again, "I heard somethin' 'bout you bein' a survivor of that crash, that was mighty tragic."

Kate shrugged, "Well, it's in the past now John, can I call you John? Good. I barely remember what happened while we were there. But let's not waste time talking about the past, why don't I just get Laura here to book us a table at Nobu? It's to die for."

The other man was powerless to resist when Kate put an arm around his shoulder and steered him towards the front doors. Kate smiled to herself, 'Kate 1, James 0, that contract is going to be mine sucker.' She loved a challenge and she hadn't had one in years, she was really going to enjoy this.

That night, she slept like a baby, dreaming of kisses in the jungle that made her body shiver and her toes curl.

**Marshall, Texas**

Slinging her Louis Vuitton Keepall over her shoulder, Kate walked away purposefully from her Harley Dyna Low-rider with a confident smile on her face. It had taken over two weeks but her private investigator had tracked down James Ford's private address to some acres of land, north-east of Marshall, Texas.

She clicked the unlock button on the silver 2003 model Ford Mustang Cobra she'd rented for the rest of her drive to James' land. The irony of driving a Ford wasn't lost on her and she hoped that it would be another point in her favor in what was most definitely going to be a psychological battle of wills between her and the ex-con man.

Cautiously she approached the driver's side and opening the door slid her tightly clad legs and then the rest of her body into the car. Turning on the ignition, Kate pulled out the map she'd tucked into her back pocket and studied it one last time before she pulled the car out of the parking lot and turned it onto the main road.

"Next stop, victory!" She said to herself as she slipped her Chanel sunglasses on then turning on the radio, with an excited smile on her face, she bounced in her seat a little. This was going to be good.

**An hour and a half later**

When the silver Mustang nosed its way down the gravel driveway, Kate's breath caught in her throat as she took in the property. Oak and magnolia trees lined the driveway which led to a white antebellum house, which rested on a slight incline. It must have been a plantation house before, from what Kate could tell it had been a small one and had been extended over the years. Not entirely sure but she guessed that it probably had five bedrooms and the usual dining room, kitchen, etc.

'Okay, so I wasn't expecting that. No worries, this doesn't change anything, I'm still in control here.' Kate reassured herself as she stopped the car in front of what she guessed would be the front door steps.

As she prepared to step out of the car, she saw the door opening and a pair of bare-footed jean-clad legs stepping out. Good he was home.

She pretended to be oblivious to his presence as she got out of the car then reached over to retrieve her bag, knowing she was showing off her well toned legs and ass. Smiling to herself she wiped the smirk off her face and pulled her upper body out car, shutting the door at the same time as she heard the safety pulled on the shotgun.

"Drop the bag Peaches, drop it real nice an' slow." James ordered, his tone brooking no argument.

Kate did as she was told, bringing her hands up in a gesture of wary caution. This wasn't going as well as she had planned.

"What are you going to do James… _shoot me_?" Kate asked incredulously, she couldn't help taunting him. As she asked the question her stance shifted slightly, her body relaxing perceptibly as she tilted her head to the right.

"Frankly Sweetcheeks you're trespassin', so the thought is crossin' ma mind." James replied, drily.

He didn't like the way she was so sure he wasn't going to shoot her. Nor did he like surprises and her finding his house and turning up here uninvited ranked high on his list of unwelcome surprises.

"Well, if Mohammed won't come to the mountain then the mountain will come to Mohammed. You didn't exactly give me any other choice… _James_." Kate mimicked his dry tone.

"That don't make a damn bit of sense Freckles, an' you hit me real hard back in that boardroom. So excuse me if I ain't exactly happy to see you." James said with a smirk on his face.

"You _deserved_ it. You talked about my 'alley' James, or did I hit you so hard you forgot that?" Kate responded tartly.

"You wanna talk about forgettin' Sassafras? How 'bout the fact that you started with the 'alley' conversational topic? Or how 'bout you apologize to me for elbowing me in the face in front of my employees?" James felt his irritation about the entire incident flare up.

"You _vetoed_ my proposal without giving me a chance to sell it! You're costing us _a lot of money_. _You _should be apologizing to _me_!" Kate raged at him, working herself up into a lather thinking about the ridiculousness of the situation. He wasn't really going to shoot her, this was stupid. She took a step towards him and he fired a warning shot a few feet away from her designer boots. Kate jumped in an attempt to dodge the spitting gravel and looked up at him with shock.

"I ain't kiddin' around Freckles; get the hell of ma property. An' find some other place to spread your dangerous organization in, 'cause I ain't lettin' y' all move in to this corner of the South." James said with angry restraint.

Kate held her hands back up and got ready to snap back at him then stopped herself deciding to change tactics.

"Okay, I get it you're right. _I'm sorry_ I hit you in the face last month that was really immature of me. Now will you _please_ stop shooting at me and put your gun down?" She offered through slightly gritted teeth.

James almost immediately put the safety back on and propped the gun in the doorway he was blocking. Grinning sarcastically, he made a show of dusting his hands as he looked back at her. The relief on her face was comical.

"_Thank you_! Now it's _your _turn." Kate said to him in an exasperated voice, as she walked carefully to the front steps.

She placed one high-heeled boot on the step and gripped the railing pulling up her sunglasses as she looked up at him. James moved from his position by the door to stand at the landing, his body language warning her not to take another step.

"My turn to_ what_, Peaches?" James asked her with raise of an eyebrow. He knew she wasn't suggesting he apologize! Why was she really here? Could she be remembering things?

"Oh my God, you're _unbelievable_. You can just say you're sorry. And my name is Katherine so stop calling me Peaches or Freckles, it's insulting." Kate said to him in that same exasperated tone. She rolled her eyes for good measure.

James narrowed his eyes dangerously, his stance becoming even more combative than before.

"Ever asked yourself where you got that name Freckles? You got any family called **Dorf**?"

Kate frowned at the change of subject, but shrugged nonchalantly in response to his question.

"I don't know. That's the name I remembered when the rescuers came, and I like it. It feels right."

"I bet it does." James muttered under his breath, glaring at her, his eyes unforgiving. She didn't remember a thing. And it was probably because she didn't want to.

Kate squirmed a little under the intensity of his gaze, what was his problem now? Deciding to change the subject she licked her lips slightly in nervousness before proceeding.

"I was hoping to convince you to cooperate with us Mr. Ford, I drove all the way out here, the least you could do is offer me some Southern hospitality."

James stepped back with a raised eyebrow and picked up the shotgun, hefting it easily he pointed it at her again. Kate rolled her eyes in frustration, not again. What had she said?

"The only kinda hospitality I offer **Miz Dorf**, you're not welcome to. Now get off ma property, before I shoot you."

Kate splayed her hands out palms facing upwards in confusion, what the hell was his problem with her name? She frowned as she tried to think of any possible reasons for his inexplicable attitude towards her.

"Okay, we obviously got off on the wrong foot. I'm sorry, let's start over… wipe the slate clean. Hi, I'm Katherine Dorf." She offered him her most winning smiles as she extended her right hand to him, waiting for him to shake it.

James pulled the safety back from the shotgun and aimed it at her right shoulder.

"If there were eleven words you should _never_ have said to me Freckles, it's those."

Kate withdrew her hand and her green eyes darting to the left then to the right she launched herself off the step and made a beeline for the car, screaming as James fired a couple of shots at her feet.

She got to the car door and picking up her bag, wrenched it open, throwing it in as she slid in behind the steering wheel.

"He's crazy! He's_ so_ crazy. Anger-management issues much? That worked out great Kate, real great. _Where are my keys_!?" She said to herself in escalating panic as she frantically searched the floor and the car seat for the keys.

James knocked on her car window, and Kate looked up in fear to see him dangling her keys in-between his long well shaped fingers. Why was she thinking about the shape of his fingers when he was obviously crazy and trying to kill her?

He rotated his forefinger as an indication to roll down her window. Kate held her hands up to him in frustration before she opened the door.

"I can't roll down my window because you have my keys!" She snapped at him.

James passed them to her and their fingers briefly touched, sending electrical currents up her arm; she snatched the keys away and stuck them in the ignition more than a little flustered.

Putting the car in reverse she didn't dare look at him as she started to drive away, realizing the car door was open only when it slammed into a tree and pretty much broke off.

The whiplash dazed her for a second; luckily she slammed on the brakes instinctively and beat the steering wheel in a fit of temper. It was an understatement but this had gone horribly wrong.

James ran to the car and dragged her out of the driver's seat, Kate wrenched her arm from him angrily and stumbling away in between the tree roots tripped, fell and scraped her knee.

James' guffaws behind her were really doing a number on her temper as she tried to stand up and broke her heel, falling again. This time she rolled herself over from her front and lay back staring up at the magnolia flowers above her. A single tear slid down her face as she pushed her sunglasses up to rest them in her hair. James strode towards her, still holding his rifle like a treasured woman he wiped at the tears of mirth that were streaming down his face as he stood over. Kate glared at him mutinously her bout of self-pity cut short by his smiling face. She had no idea how alluring she looked lying on the magnolia flowers scattered in between the roots.

"Hell Freckles, if you wanted to stay so badly why didn't you just say so?" James gasped out as he leaned down to help her up. Kate shrugged his hand away.

"I don't want your help. I'd rather lie here and die than have you touch me!' Kate yelled up at him.

James looked startled by the poison in her voice but he recovered, giving her a disappointed look before he stepped away from her prone form.

"Suit yourself, Sassafras."

Kate remained where she lay until she heard the front door slam shut behind her tormentor. Sighing to herself she remained where she lay trying very hard to stop herself from screaming and throwing a tantrum.

**8 PM**

James stared out his living room window at Kate's prostate form in the grass. She was so stubborn; at least that hadn't changed. He turned away from his window and headed back into the kitchen where the delicious smell of his home-cooked gumbo was coming from. He picked up the wooden spoon and stirred the mixture a little, blowing on the spoon a little to taste it. There wasn't enough salt, reaching up on the shelf to the left of him he took down the rock salt and sprinkled it liberally.

She was still as beautiful as ever, that definitely hadn't changed. And her physical assets still looked as good to him as they always had. Something he was sure she had intended to remind him of judging by the way she was dressed. James smiled to himself at the picture she made lying on his lawn with her skintight jeans, high-heeled leather boots and two-sizes too small 'Mustang Sally' tank top. Who did she think she was kidding? He asked himself with amusement. Whatever her real reasons for coming here, it was clear to him that amnesia or not, she couldn't stay away from him; and painful as it was there was something primitively satisfying in that knowledge.

James turned the heat down on his gumbo and poured some into a large bowl for himself. He placed it on the tray with the freshly baked cornbread he'd made and adding a spoon of butter on it he smiled to himself as headed back to the living room, he had intentionally turned off all the front security and driveway lights. He was quite interested to see how long she was going to last out there.

Picking up his beer he stepped out onto the front porch and sat down in the rocking chair that had its position of pride to left of the front door. The scent of magnolia and fertile earth was in the air. Setting his tray on his lap he let the wafting smell of the food and the sounds of the cutlery speak for themselves.

Now all he had to do was wait for Miss Independent over there to concede defeat and get up from under that tree.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did y'all think? Please **Review **and let me know. I hope the comedy wasn't too slapstick! And yes Kate seems a bit too concerned with material things, but you would too if by a cruel twist of fate you had ended up with Jack! Just saying… xx **Dulce**


	4. Chapter 4 Texas Waltz

Hey y'all I must start off by apologizing for what may have seemed like a super long wait, the alerts weren't working on this site. Anyhoodle, clarification point: the Sawyer (James) about to shoot Kate scene in **A Clean Slate **hasn't happened yet. However the conversation Kate remembers in **A Clean Slate** is the one y'all just read in chapter 3!

I generally use italics for large passages or certain quotes when they are memories/flashbacks. Obviously italics on the odd word is just to emphasize:)

I have to warn y'all there is a bit of angst in here and some profanity and some sexual situations but not the kind y'all are thinking of! I haven't forgotten my promise to go easy on the angst but it was necessary here!

My awesome beta **Bud** has been unavailable all week so just to warn y'all if she gets the time to read this chapter and flags something as super-craptastic I may just change it.

Enjoy!

**Chapter 4**

Kate wrestled with her decision to get up from her position underneath the tree but when she heard James open another bottle of beer he'd gone inside to get; she knew she the decision had been made.

Stiff from the hours of inertia she sat up with great effort; biting her lip she muffled her groan as her muscles and joints screamed in protest. The ground got surprisingly cold after the sun set! Holding onto the tree trunk she pushed herself up off the ground, wincing when she felt her slightly sprained ankle twist on the broken boot heel. Bending over she unzipped both of her boots off and picking them up with a chagrined look on her face, threw them through the barely hinged, open driver's door. They crashed against the passenger side window with a satisfying thud. Limping over to the car she realized that James had already taken her bag inside, without asking her. Incensed, Kate stomped resolutely on the edge of the gravel driveway and up onto the porch where James sat watching her.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with her with her presence!" James remarked cheerfully, an amused look on his face.

"Where's my bag? What did you do with it?" Kate snapped at him.

James took a swallow of his beer before he set it down by his feet, standing up he raised an eyebrow at her as she stepped back warily.

"Relax, I ain't gonna _touch you_. I thought I'd lead the way an' show you the river I dumped it in." James replied his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kate's eyes were practically popping out of her face and she looked like she was about to have fit.

"You threw my $4,000 Louis Vuitton in the _river_!? I had a _business_ plan in there! And makeup, a change of clothes, underwear, my toothbrush… my tazer and my _gun_!" Kate was screaming now, getting angrier by the second.

James bit his lip hard trying not to burst out laughing, but a chuckle slipped out anyway. She was quite the picture, hyper-ventilating with leaves stuck in her no longer straight, expensively styled hair, dirt smudged on her face and on her formerly white tank-top, she was barefoot and her feet were practically black with mud.

"Calm down _Sticks_, I put your collector's edition Speedy 30 on the dinin' room table."

Kate stared at him like he'd grown another head, "Really? And how do you know it's a collector's edition Speedy 30?" She asked him suspiciously.

James rolled his eyes as he walked into the house, slamming the door in her face when she tried to follow.

"Not with those dirty feet you ain't!" He said to her over his shoulder.

Kate slapped the door-jamb and almost sprained her hand in return. Turning around she picked up the beer he'd left behind and downed it in record time. When James opened the door she dropped it guiltily. The thud it made incriminating her, she winced as James detachedly observed her flushing to a very pretty shade of dusky rose.

"Got you some slippers an' I got your bag too, are you gonna come in or did you want me to just hand you the bag?" James asked softly. He hated himself for this but despite everything he hoped she would decide to stay.

Kate stared at him without saying anything slightly stunned by her inability to formulate a response. Her brain was screaming, 'No! Take your bag and run!' But her heart and her feet were staging a protest, preferring to stay right where they were or preferably follow him into the house.

Sighing in resignation, James stepped out onto the porch and handed her the bag. Turning away from her he reached for the door handle to go back in the house.

"James!" Kate cried out. To her consternation there were tears in her eyes. 'What happens to me when I'm around him?' Kate asked herself, not deliberating on the question long enough to answer her own question.

James turned around slowly, angry again and ready to tell her to get the hell of his property but the tears in her eyes stopped him. His face softened as he saw the conflicting emotions on her face.

"If you don't mind, I…I'd like to stay. I don't have any way of getting back to Marshall apparently everything around here shuts at 4 o'clock." Kate said in a voice that sounded strange even to her own ears.

James silently offered her the slippers he'd been holding in his left hand and Kate reached forward and took them. Dropping them on the floor and slipping them on, she slung her bag over her shoulder, wincing a little in pain as she put too much pressure on her tender ankle.

"Lead the way Tex, I'm thirsty and I'm starving, you better- I hope you have some more of that cornbread I saw you eating." Kate said with a confidence she was quite far from feeling.

James nodded and gallantly held the door open for her as she gingerly shuffled into the house. James turned on the front security and driveway lights then he followed her into the kitchen.

"I got some food here, why don't I fix you a plate while you… freshen up?" James suggested diplomatically.

Kate who was eyeing the simmering gumbo with great expectation, brought her eyes to meet his and it took her a second to realize what he was saying. Bringing her hands up to her now frizzy hair, her mouth formed a silent moue. She spun around frantically and looked at her reflection in the kitchen window.

"I look like Rousseau!" Kate exclaimed as she shuffled painfully to the kitchen sink and started scrubbing at her grubby hands and arms.

James watched her for a second shaking his head in amusement at the mention of the French chick. He thought back to the first time they had been captured by the Others and had been placed in the bear cages. Kate had definitely borne a striking resemblance to Rousseau back then too. But that too was another memory that only his mind had seemed to retain.

Mentally shrugging he poured the gumbo in a bowl for Kate and took out the small loaf of cornbread he'd made for her; cutting it up he sneaked glances at her frantic scrubbing as she abraded her face with a paper towel. No matter how much he tried to deny it to himself, it was good to see her.

Giving up with a sigh of frustration she turned to him and saw him watching her with that strange look on his face he'd had when she'd seen him at the anniversary party in California.

"Is that for me?" Kate asked with childish excitement as she eyed the food on the tray he was holding.

James nodded, suddenly robbed of the power of speech. With all the makeup off her face, and her hair curly and waving freely in the slight breeze coming in from the window behind her, she looked like his Freckles again. 'Yeah except she ain't yours an' doesn't remember ever bein' yours.' James reminded himself sharply as he led the way back out onto the porch.

Kate took in her surroundings as they walked back out onto the front porch; the furnishings were modern, tasteful and all very comfortable-looking. In what would have been the parlor in the days gone by she observed there were plenty of photographs on the wall but she couldn't see them in the dim lighting shining in from the porch. 'I never would have thought he lived in a place like this. I guess I really don't know this guy at all.' Kate mused to herself thoughtfully.

James sat in the rocking chair and gestured to the bench next to it as he set the tray down on it. Kate took this to mean that was where she was going to be sitting. Taking her seat, her mouth practically watered with anticipation as she looked at the food.

James reached in the cooler he'd brought out with him when Kate had still been lying out in the front yard; and took out two ice-cold beers. Cracking one open with his teeth, he set it next to Kate and she smiled up at him in thanks as she set to work on the gumbo. James inclined his head in her direction before opening his beer and taking a long healthy swig. He stared out at the driveway and the abandoned silver Mustang that looked decidedly forlorn with its door hanging off.

Kate finished the food in record time and setting the tray down with a satisfied smile on her face she picked up her beer and sucked on it so vigorously, James found himself staring her with avid fascination. Watching her do something so normal, with such zest was having a very powerful effect on him and he tried to tear his eyes away from her delineated profile. The porch-light enhanced each swallow as her pursed lips kissed the bottle top. She set the bottle down on the bench and wiped her lips with the back of her hand before she risked glancing his way.

"Stop that." She ordered, she shook her head at him and then turned her face away to hide the small smile that the look in his eyes elicited. 'He still finds you attractive Katherine!' She thought to herself proudly.

James kept watching her, waiting for her to turn back to face him.

"I guess I'm just a bit surprised to see you drinkin' somethin' as common as beer. What with all your new airs an' graces… I would've figured you don't drink anythin' that doesn't come in crystal an' without an umbrella." He commented probingly.

He really wanted to understand what had her acting like such a snob. He would never have pegged her for someone who would take herself so seriously just because of the kind of money she made. It really disappointed him.

"First you called me Shannon, and now you're accusing me of having airs and graces. Any other_ compliments_ you wanna throw my way Sawyer? James! Whatever!" She let out a breath of aggravation. He leaned back in the rocking chair and took another swig of his beer.

"Why the hell didn't you keep in touch after the party?" Kate demanded, whipping around to face him with her expressive green eyes.

"Yeah 'cause you were so cut up over my not keepin' in touch that you tried to find me?" James shot back. He turned to glare at her, searching her eyes for the answer.

"Touché… I guess we're both at fault." Kate observed, never taking her eyes off his.

"Speak for yourself Sassafras; I had no intentions of keepin' in touch with _you_ or anyone else from that craphole island. Like I said before-"

"Some things are best left dead and forgotten." Kate finished off for him.

"Exactly." James agreed.

He studied her face to see her reaction and hoped to hell that he wasn't giving away how much he wished that wasn't the case. Kate didn't notice, her gaze had turned inwards and she stared at the beer bottle in her hands in silence. James turned away from her and resumed staring out onto his driveway. They sat like that for a few minutes, and although it had started off awkward, it became companiable.

"I've really behaved like a spoilt brat today, huh? It's weird but ever since I saw you in that boardroom it's like I've been possessed… I even commissioned a research report into exactly how many people thought they were reincarnated from dung beetles." Kate said with self-deprecation.

James didn't react or look at her; he just took another swig from his beer and rocked his chair gently.

"Don't you want to know how many people there were?" Kate asked her tone playful.

"More than 10 million?" James wagered, turning to look at her at last.

Kate smiled, "8.7 million last time I checked on the results, which was this morning."

James smirked at her, "So what's your point?"

"My point is that I'm here to talk business with you and you don't have a leg to stand on, your theory didn't work out. Katherine _one_, James_ zero_." Kate said with an annoyingly superior tone.

"Hmm… well Sassafras I guess you got me there, except for one thing, your results aren't complete so you don't win shit. You turned up here unwanted, unexpected an' uninvited, if I'd known you were comin' I might've commissioned a report myself." James said the grin on his face spreading as he saw her nostrils flare with indignation.

"Are you even going to consider my proposal?" Kate blurted out.

James shook his head, "Hell no. I read your proposal an' as pretty as the words an' dollar signs looked on the second page, I don't think so."

"You went through my stuff!"

"Payback's a bitch ain't it? When I went out on the raft with Mikey, Jin an' Walt y'all divvied my shit up without askin'-"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me, you're comparing going through my handbag to other people_ not_ including me taking the stuff you _stole _off the dead?" Kate asked incredulously.

James nodded vehemently, "Hell yeah, it's still stuff an' it belonged to me. When we first crashed no one was interested in salvagin' anythin' useful so I did. I for one saved for a rainy day, an' when we didn't get rescued I suddenly had some currency of my own. That is one of the founding principles of capitalism Sweetcheeks, supply an' demand."

Kate stood up abruptly, picking up her tray and empty beer bottle she headed for the house laughing incredulously at James' argument. Juggling the tray and the beer she pulled the door open and bracing herself for the pain; stuck her sprained foot in it before squeezing through and heading for the kitchen.

James got up and walking into the kitchen watched her finish washing the dishes in the sink before she called out to him thinking he was still on the front porch.

"So if all_ you_ did was _uphold_ capitalism why won't you let us expand out here? We're doing the same thing!" Kate hollered at him.

James chuckled softly. Jumping in shock; Kate dropped the kitchen towel she was using to wipe her hands, turning around to see him standing in the doorway watching her with those intense blue eyes of his.

"For starters, there's a 5 second expiry date on a comeback Freckles, second of all we don't need your services I've seen the figures for the rise in gun related deaths in the areas you've spread your _product_ an' thirdly… What was third? Oh yeah, _I don't want you_ hangin' around my neck of the woods, there's a whole world out there for you terrorize." James said with brutal honesty.

Kate drew back, deeply offended, "You can be so cruel." She breathed out, her voice giving away how much that hurt.

"I'm bein' cruel to be kind Freckles." James said softly, he didn't show it but the hurt on her face was making him feel guilty.

"Is that why you stole the guns back on the Island? To be _kind_!? Is that why you turned your back on everyone when we got rescued? Is that why you turned off the lights out front there and left me to lie there in the dark!?" Kate yelled at him, reveling in the welcome comfort of her self-righteous anger.

James set the empty bottle down on the counter-top and strode towards her so that they were standing toe-to-toe.

"I don't need to explain myself to you. As a matter of fact I don't owe you _anythin_'. You turned up at my house _uninvited_, an' decided to act like a spoilt princess, so I left you there, wonderin' how long it would take you to get over yourself an' start actin' like the woman I knew!"

"You don't know me! What would make you think that you have any idea who or what I am?" Kate threw back at him. Her blood was pumping furiously in her veins and her palms were itching to slap his face or scratch his eyeballs out. 'God I hate him!' She thought to herself.

James grabbed her arms viciously, practically lifting her off her feet a little as he searched her face, looking for a sign, anything to tell him that she hadn't written him out of her heart as well as her mind.

Kate struggled against his hold on her; unsettled by the sparks she could feel flying between them. It felt like his hands were on fire and they were generating enough heat to ignite an equal fire in her that threatened to burn her alive.

James held onto her for a few more seconds before he let her go abruptly, the momentum carried her backwards and she hit her head on a cupboard door.

"Ow! F# that hurt! What is your problem with me!?" Kate bit out angrily the back of her head smarting. James didn't seem to hear as he stormed out of the kitchen and headed towards the dining room.

Kate felt tears of pain and frustration prick her eyes, for the hundredth time that day she asked herself, 'What am I doing here?' Hurrying out of the kitchen she saw James standing in the parlor, holding a bottle of Hennessy and two crystal tumblers.

"Join me or don't, I think I'm gonna need to get seriously drunk if there is to be any hope in hell of me not throttlin' your scrawny little neck." He said in way of invitation.

Kate frowned, approaching him warily she took a glass from him; careful not to touch his fingers. He cocked an eyebrow at this but thankfully didn't say anything else. Indicating towards the staircase he strode up the stairs without looking back. Kate wasn't sure if she was meant to follow or not.

"You plan on drinkin' air?" James called out from the top of the stairs.

Kate rolled her eyes in irritation and followed him into a comfortable looking living room decorated in brown, cream and black. There was a large screen television and fancy looking sound-system on the wall facing the doorway, and a large mirror on the wall opposite the French windows that led out onto a balcony.

James was sitting in the only Lazy-boy in the room and he set the decanter down on the side table next to it. Kate took this as her cue to sit in the armchair parallel to the Lazy-boy.

Pouring herself some of the brandy, she took a tentative sip, not looking forward to humiliating herself anymore than she had already done today. This time the silence between them was strained. Kate wished he would just turn on the television, like she did at home with Jack. It always made it easier.

"I never stopped wondering where you were or what you were doing." Kate volunteered timidly before taking a drink.

James turned to stare at her in surprise and when she set her glass down she wiggled her eyebrows at him in expectation. James gave her an apologetic eyebrow lift before he lifted his glass and drained it. He kept his eyes trained on her as he gauged her reaction while he poured them each another drink. Kate didn't take her eyes off him as she lifted her glass from the table and raised it to him silently.

"I never slept with Ana-Lucia." James said quietly. Kate watched with sadness she couldn't explain when James drank.

"I never forgave you for telling everybody I was a criminal." Kate said huskily, her feelings although not present in her face were manifesting themselves in her voice. She took a healthy sip from her glass.

'I never forgave you for forgettin' 'bout me an' runnin' off with Jack.' James bit his tongue to stop himself from saying it.

Instead he said, "You're ruinin' the game Freckles. How about this… I never had sex with more than one person at the same time."

Kate's eyes widened as James drank. She wanted to find out more and she was horrified by her own curiosity.

"How many is more than one?" Kate asked in an amused but concerned voice.

James leaned his head back and smiled seductively, "Quite a few more."

"How did you… satisfy all those women at the same time?" Kate asked, more than a little intrigued by this conversational topic.

James turned to look at her with a very masculine grin on his face, "I got two hands, a mouth, a-"

"_Got it_!" Kate cut him off rolling her eyes at him with a begrudging smile on her face.

James chuckled. She stared at him for a few moments, struggling with the decision on whether to ask for the more sordid details or not. James could see her internal struggle as she sat so primly, back ramrod straight; on the edge of her seat, cradling her glass and biting her lip.

"So does that mean you've done _everything_?" Kate asked finally, not daring to look at him; she kept her eyes on the blank tv screen.

"That depends on what you mean by _everythin_'." James teased; his smile grew a little wider as he saw her cheeks flush again.

Kate rolled her eyes, flailing her left hand in annoyance she said, "You know… _everything_."

"I ain't ever done anything with another guy or animals but otherwise yeah, I guess so." James mused; taking a sip of his drink to hide his smirk at Kate's widening eyes.

"That must be a lot of one-night stands." Kate dead-panned.

"Hey now, I've been in some relationships!" James protested good-naturedly at her unspoken assumption.

"Really? You don't strike me as the type." Kate remarked truthfully, her nose wrinkling prettily.

"Well I'll have you know the wildest sex I've ever had was with the ones I was involved with more than just sexually." James told her, his blue eyes dancing mischievously.

Kate searched his face for a sign of him teasing her, and she didn't see one; so taking a deep breath she took the bait.

"Anyone that stood out in particular?" She asked, genuinely curious.

In the back of her mind something about her attitude throughout this conversation niggled. James searched her face for a second before he tore his eyes away from her and stared at the bottom of his glass. Drinking the remainder of the whiskey he set the glass down and unscrewed the bottle cap in order to pour himself a few more fingers.

"Oh yeah… there always is _one_, isn't there?" James said enigmatically, he looked up at Kate who held out her glass for a top up. James obliged her.

"I don't know is there?" Kate asked him, her green eyes questioning.

"Alright Sassafras, you really wanna hear 'bout this?" James asked her seriously.

Kate nodded licking her lips in an unconscious sensual move as she gratefully accepted her glass from him; watching him through her lashes she took a hearty sip. James had picked up his own glass and sniffing the expensive liquor he took a small sip.

"Whatever the lady wants." He muttered under his breath, smiling at her as she raised an eyebrow at this. Strangely he was finding her out of character propriety more than a bit of a turn on now.

"There was one… she was the embodiment of Madonna/whore. Smart, classy an' sexy as hell without tryin' to be, I guess she was just born that way." James laughed to himself a little in memory.

Kate found herself smiling along with him and she scooted back in the armchair, turning her body to face the Southerner as she listened and observed.

"I met her at a crazy time in my life, I was so lost an' she was the perfect weapon of choice to get myself into an even darker place." James said ruefully. He risked a glance in her direction as he finished speaking; Kate was so focused on him, that the intensity in her gaze unsettled him a second.

"We did some wild things, things I can't even spell or describe. There was no surface in our house we didn't cover. No position in the kama sutra we didn't do or reinvent an' I'm pretty sure there are some trees out there that will never be the same again. Anythin' I wanted she knew an' she provided 'cause she wanted it too, I never had to say anythin'. We didn't talk too much, not about anythin' with meanin'. We were so in sync with our appetite for self-destruction an' nothin' fed it more than our relationship."

"It was just animal lust." Kate stated. A little part of her happy to hear that this all encompassing affair he'd had wasn't anything to be jealous of.

"There was _a lot_ of_ that_, but it wasn't just animal lust, there was a whole lot more to it. We understood each other in a way that just didn't need much talkin'." James corrected her.

"So then what happened? Why did it end?" Kate asked. 'Katherine Dorf is that jealousy stirring in your heart? What the hell for?' She berated herself sternly.

"I learned that there were other things more important, than me or her. Other people that depended on me to do what was right." James said wistfully, staring at her hands as they cupped her crystal tumbler.

"And what about her? What happened to her?" Kate pressed.

James looked at Kate with sadness, "She's still lost, an' I don't- _didn't_ know how to reach her… so I let her go."

"What was her name?" Kate demanded. She was just as surprised as he was at the sharpness in her voice.

"_I don't remember_." James replied in a tone that discouraged any further discussion.

He brought his eyes to meet hers; something in his eyes and voice shook Kate to her very core, she felt like she related with his story, that she was connected to this woman and to him. She noticed her hand shake slightly, why was this story having such a powerful effect on her?

Kate lifted her glass up and drank half the liquid in it before she choked and coughed violently. James reached over and took the glass from her waiting to see whether or not she was going to be okay. When she continued coughing he got up from his seat and setting the glass down, walked over to the armchair and perching himself on the arm-rest; thumped her soundly on the back.

James' right hand patted and rubbed her back soothingly before moving up to her shoulder when she finally stopped coughing; Kate brought her left hand up to clasp the hand on her shoulder, effectively keeping James there. Wheezing slightly she turned to look up at him; the naked hunger on his face and in his eyes didn't scare her in the slightest, in fact it excited her.

"I kissed you first, how could you sleep with Ana-Lucia and not me?" She demanded indignantly.

James' face was impassive, and he lowered his lids so Kate couldn't see what he was thinking. He didn't think he could bear this pain much longer, and he was worried he would say something he wouldn't be able to take back.

"Didn't know you were that interested Sweetcheeks." James said eventually.

Kate turned awkwardly so that her entire body faced him and when his hand slid off her shoulder she held it in hers resting their intertwined hands on her lap. When she looked down at them something triggered in her mind but once again she couldn't remember what.

"Oh my God, I just had déja-vu." Kate whispered in wonderment.

James' heart skipped a beat in excitement. Was this the breakthrough he'd been waiting for all these years? Kate shook her head as if to clear it and looking up from their entwined fingers smiled at him dismissively.

"Weird huh? Maybe it's a memory from when you came back from the raft and you were unconscious." Kate offered in explanation. Just like that she punctured his briefly inflated hopes.

"So what happened between you an' Jacko?" James asked changing the subject.

It was really unsettling him having her here in his home, and their interlinked hands were aggravating him. She made a face at his chosen topic.

"We kind of fizzled out. The pressures of our careers… my issues, his issues… his not being able to have children… the Island… you." Kate said the last word casually; reaching over with her free hand she lifted her glass up and sipped its contents very gingerly.

"_Me_?" James asked in disbelief. His mouth hang at a slack angle as he sat there waiting for her to elaborate.

"Yeah, I guess it was kind of a turn off when I kept talking about how I felt like a part of me was missing… and I thought _you_ could fill in the blanks." Kate said in an offhand tone as she concentrated on setting the glass back down on the coffee table without relinquishing her hold on his hand.

"Now why would you think a thing like that?" James asked with curiosity, he was staring at her intently.

Kate rolled her eyes and stood up suddenly feeling a little claustrophobic, she walked around the room noting the books and paintings up on the wall facing the flat screen. There were no pictures in this room.

"_Katherine_." James pressed from his position on the chair; he'd sat down in her place, shocked to hear that he'd been the reason for their break-up. Well, at least one of them.

She turned around to face him crossing her arms on her chest, she sighed tiredly.

"I _don't know_! It was just a feeling I used to have. It kind of went hand in hand with the dreams and the sometimes waking up in a strange place with no recollection of how I got there. Which isn't too crazy seeing as I don't seem to remember an entire 19 months of my adult life, right? I mean none of us do, and I'm the _only one_ who can't get over it. I just felt and still feel like there is something so important… so _big_, that I have to remember it. And then I feel like shit because everyone else is telling me I'm crazy, and then they were giving me medication and then sometimes I get confused…"

"What kind of medication?" James asked in a dangerously low voice.

"I don't know the one that all of us were given after we started the therapy sessions."

"Is everyone else still takin' it?" James pressed. He didn't like the idea of doctors and psychiatrists messing with her head.

"I think so, I don't know. All I know is that I've been on a different kind because of all the confusion and stuff."

"What _type_ Freckles?" James practically growled at her.

"Anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics like Thorazine, Valium, Xanax, Nardil and Halcion if I have an episode." Kate replied testily.

She looked at him expectantly waiting to see if he recognized any of the drugs she had listed. Throwing her hands up in exasperation she shook her head and strode past him and out onto the balcony.

James remained where he was sitting for a few minutes, staring at the half empty bottle of Hennessy. His vision was slightly blurry and his brain wasn't working as fast as it usually did, but he was well enough aware to know that Kate was taking a most lethal cocktail of drugs. 'What did they do to her to make it necessary for her take all that shit?' He wondered. Sighing he pulled himself out of the armchair and walked out the open French doors to join her.

Kate heard him walk out to join her in the moonlight, but she didn't turn to acknowledge him as she inhaled the rich scent of damp earth and magnolia. Smiling to herself she surveyed the front of the house; it was well lit now and the grass was perfectly maintained. Her bright green eyes took in the trees lining the driveway and she smiled a little brighter at the sight of her pitiful looking Mustang as it remained where she'd left it, the door hanging on to the main frame of the car by a mere hinge.

"So Canada didn't last, _hey_?" She said conversationally, smiling at her lame joke. James didn't respond and Kate shrugged still peering out into the well lit front yard.

I can see why you've settled down here, it's absolutely beautiful… if it wasn't for my car over there we could be in the Old South." She remarked, turning to look at James expectantly.

"There was a land of Cavaliers an' Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights an' their Ladies Fair, of Master an' of Slave." James quoted with the ease of someone who had spoken the words countless times before.

"Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind..." Kate finished off for him, beaming with pride when he raised an eyebrow of surprise. He turned to face her, his eyes searching her face, a frown marring his brow.

"Is that what you're here for? Some moonlight an' magnolia?" He was scowling now and his voice was harsh.

Kate swallowed audibly, "No. I came to talk to you, to convince you that Securicare-"

"You're not here for Securicare so drop the act. Why did you really come here _Katherine_?" James interrupted her angrily, his eyes practically spitting fire as he took a menacing step towards her.

Kate took step back with a gasp, James reached forward as if to grab her arm but wrapped his hand around the railing instead. In another move he'd used his other hand to grab the railing to the left of Kate, effectively trapping her in his unyielding arms. Somewhere along the line, both their breathing had changed, their chests heaving slightly as he detachedly noted her wide-eyed fear, flattering her all the more in the moonlight.

"I thought I was Freckles." Kate smiled shakily.

"Answer the question." James enunciated slowly.

"I wanted you to agree to my proposal, and I also just wanted to see you again." Kate said finally.

"Unh huh." James said knowingly, his eyes undressing her as he eyed her assets.

"_See _you again Sawyer not _sleep_ with you! God, you're such a pervert."

"The name is _James_, Sweetcheeks." James said in a velvety voice that raised the hairs on the back of Kate's neck.

"Okay, _James_, do you mind getting off me? I'm pressed against the rails here and they aren't warm." Kate said coldly. Her mouth pursed tightly.

James relinquished his hold on the rail with his right hand and gestured for Kate to move. Eyeing him cautiously she stepped away from him primly, her nose lifted slightly as she sniffed in disdain.

James grabbed the back of her neck and spinning her around fast, he slammed her against the wall, choking the breath out of her slightly with his grip. Leaning into her he nudged his knee in between her legs and bent his head down to whisper in her ear.

"You don't fool me. Saint Jack of no personality or complex emotions that don't involve cryin' might have let you get away with this act cause he couldn't give a shit, too busy savin' the world an' all but I got news for you Peaches I ain't him."

Kate gripped his wrist and pulled on it hard gritting her teeth from the effort; tears pricked her eyes. James released her neck but remained pressed against her for a second before he pulled away and grabbing her upper arm shoved her onto one of the wrought iron chairs on the balcony. Kate immediately stood up, her eyes flashing and hair practically quivering with the force of her anger at his rough treatment; she was ready to do battle.

"Sit down, 'cause for once in your life you're gonna let me have my say an' accept it for the truth. I ain't got no reason to lie Babycakes, I can guarantee you there is nothin' I want from you but some honesty." James said to her in a voice that scared her.

She did as she was told, sitting down on the cold white chair. She brought her arms up to try and trap some body heat. He walked over to her and gripping the arms of the chair looked her right in the eye as his towering form crowded her. Kate didn't recoil, she simply stared at him with brazen defiance.

"You can fool your therapist an' everyone else around you, but you don't fool me. I know exactly who you are. You're fire through an' through. So _Katherine_ this sexually repressed, anally retentive, ice queen Bree Van De Kaap act might hold water with all the other chumps but it doesn't wash with me. People like you an' me; we go our own way in this world. We ain't spectators, so stop buyin' your own bullshit an' be straight with me or get outta my house an' don't come back." James' voice was deceptively sensual.

Kate didn't move she merely stared at him in muted shock, the veracity of his words echoing through her. Silence and tension hung over them for about a minute then without thinking she ran her hands up his well-toned arms and over his shoulders to cup his face in her hands. Something about this felt so very natural and familiar yet different. And looking into James' eyes which were churning with emotions Kate couldn't identify; she leaned into him and locked her lips with his. For a second they just were frozen like this on the balcony, lips pressed against each other, then as if a match had been struck, their tongues fused together in a fiery passionate battle for dominance.

The kiss changed at some point from anger to communication, their tongues stroking each other sensually in a quest to discover more. James was the first to pull away, physically tearing himself away from her he staggered slightly, completely stunned by the fire that was burning between them. Kate's eyes were still glazed with pleasure and she made to follow him but he held his hand up in weak protest. Shaking his head as if to clear it he took another step away from her, he did not take his eyes off her flushed face

"That wasn't so hard now was it?"

Tilting his head slightly in her direction as acknowledgment of what had just passed between them; James strode back into the living room. Kate remained on the balcony for another minute, her fingers tracing the heated print James' hand at left on her neck. What had possessed her to kiss him like that? To kiss him at all? 'I must be drunker than I thought.' She surmised. For a split second she saw a flash of rusted bars in a cage in a jungle but before she could dissect it any further it was gone. Swallowing heavily, Kate drew in a shaky steadying breath before she headed into the house.

Shutting the doors behind her, Kate turned around to find James standing in the doorway with a pair of buttercup yellow cotton pajamas in his hands that looked decidedly comical.

"I made up the guest room for you, there's a shower in there so you can get cleaned up before you get into my sheets. Shall we?" James said pointedly.

He seemed to have gotten his emotions under control now and appeared to be impatient to get rid of her. Kate pasted a smile on her face and nodded as James turned on his heel and led the way down the hallway which wasn't lit but Kate noticed was decorated with pictures. James stopped in front of a half-open door near the end of the wide hallway. Gesturing for her to go in, he held the door open for her as she walked into the room.

She gasped in awe as she took in the powder blue and white décor of the room, the white voile curtains that blew slightly in the magnolia scented breeze and the comfortable looking luxurious flat topped canopy bed that took up the majority of the room.

"Shower's on the right, it's a standard one so you shouldn't have a problem usin' it. My room is next to yours in the back of the house. So if you need anythin' that a healthy dose of usin' your own initiative can't get you, just holler." James said sarcastically.

Piercing her dancing green eyes with his blue eyes one last time he nodded and left her in the room shutting the door firmly behind him. Kate heard him walk down the a little further and then she heard his door shut loudly behind him. Smiling to herself a little, she took in her surrounding before pushing the door open to inspect the bathroom. It was beautiful; tiled in a sea blue that made the small space look bigger than it really was. Turning on the water Kate hummed a song to herself, as she began to pull off the sticky and stained Mustang Sally tank top she was wearing. She wrinkled her nose at it in disgust and dropped it on the floor, unhooking her bra then shucking her jeans and underwear as she stepped into the welcome spray of the hot water. She noticed her reflection in the mirror and shrugged, not really sure she cared to think about why exactly she was still smiling.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't forget to feed the writer - press that button and review!!


	5. Chapter 5 Down the Rabbit Hole

**Hey y'all thank you so much for your reviews.**

**Budweiser you're my bestest Beta ever and I thank God your internet connection is back on track.**

**KT thanks so much for the encouragement, you're a doll!**

**This is a flashback chapter the second one out of the three I have planned.**

**Chapter 5 – Down the rabbit hole**

_James gripped the wet bathroom tiles with the pads of his fingers letting the warm shower water run down his back he reached behind him and held Kate's calf in place while they shared a quick open-mouthed kiss. She was gasping into his mouth and sending dangerous shivers down his body with her artful tongue._

_"What I'd say Freckles? We gotta get this right; I don't think we'll get another chance."_

_"Four steps straight ahead then eight steps to the right, mmm..." Kate ended with a moan as James moved against her pushing her back up on the slippery tiles._

_"Then what?" James asked her urgently, nipping her lower lip with his tongue._

_"Fifteen steps straight ahead, sixteen to the left… oh God!" Kate cried out as James trailed his hand down her body and used his skilled fingers to tease and excite her further._

_"Don't pay me no mind, just finish what you were sayin', I promise you it'll be worth your while." James whispered in her ear. Kate gulped back her moans of pleasure and nodding slightly turned her face into his neck, whispering the rest in his ear._

_"Twenty-three steps straight ahead and you'll be waiting for me, then we take forty-two steps to my right and hit the mountains." Her voice hitched on the last word as James' fingers finally gave her the reward she was gasping for._

_"Very good sweetheart, now should we finish this off? Give those assholes one last thing to jerk off too?" James growled into her ear._

_"I thought you'd never ask." Kate replied, catching his lower lip with her teeth and dragging him in for a deep and fortifying kiss._

_James pulled away and smirked at her, gripping her other leg he wrapped it around his waist, he placed both of his hands on the wall behind her and with a wink proceeded to rhythmically bump and grind them into an explosive climax._

_Sliding to the floor James knelt on the floor, Kate's legs were still wrapped around him and he rested his head on her chest, trying to catch his breath. She stroked his hair absentmindedly, mentally girding herself for what lay ahead._

_"I'm going to have bruises from that pulverizing." Kate remarked archly._

_"I like to think of it as tenderizin'." James quipped not moving his head._

_"I'm not a piece of meat, I'm a human being." Kate retorted._

_"That works both ways sweetheart, all you ever do is eye my package an' you're always feelin' me up like I'm some stud you're-"_

_"That's not **all** I ever do!" Kate protested with a laugh._

_"Yeah, whatever. Do you mind? You're ruinin' the afterglow here!" James complained._

_Kate opened her mouth to say something but decided to bite her tongue. The smile died from her lips, distracting as their conversation was, her heart was already hammering triple time at the thought of what lay ahead._

_Eventually James' muscles protested from the awkward position and forced him to pull away from her and standing up he held out a hand to Kate to help her up too._

_Pulling her up he drew her towards him and kissed her underneath the still running water._

_"You ready Bonnie?" He asked her under the cover of the cold spray._

_"Ready when you are… Clyde." Kate said with a good-humored eye-roll._

_They kissed again, this time their lips desperately clung together in a combination of fear and comfort. Pulling away, James shut off the shower and pushing the door open waited for Kate to step through first._

_They didn't waste time talking as they got dressed and went into the kitchen to eat their breakfast._

_"Did you know this used to be Juliet's house?" Kate said, breaking their companiable silence as she finished washing their dishes._

_"No shit. I guess she's been upgraded to better digs what with her beddin' the Doc now or maybe they threw her in our bear cages." James replied, a gleam in his eye at the thought of Juliet living in the bear cages._

_Kate turned the faucet off and reaching for the kitchen towel wiped her hands as she shook her head at him, a tolerant smile on her face._

_"Something tells me she got the upgrade." Kate told him regretfully._

_James made a face then glancing at the clock on the wall; he got up from his seat and headed into the other room. Kate followed him there as she watched him at his daily routine of putting his boots on, picking up the lunch pail she fixed for him and then heading for the front door._

_"See you later." James said resignedly sneaking a quick kiss before he pulled the door open and stepped out. Kate waved him away before she walked back into the kitchen and slinging her backpack on her shoulders left the house through the kitchen door._

_She walked around the back of the house and took four steps straight ahead, eight to the right and as soon as she was under the cover of the forest kept walking at a measured pace as she followed the directions James had given her._

_He was waiting for her exactly where he said he would be and they didn't exchange a word as they walked the remaining forty-two steps that would lead them to the densest part of the forest and out of range of the various cameras the Others had set up._

_When they reached the forty-second step they began to run in zig-zags; when they were clear of the dense trees they held hands as they sprinted away from their captivity and towards freedom._

**_That night_**

_Kate slept safe and snug in James' arms as they sat comfortably perched in a big tree on the other side of the mountain they had hiked. They had made good progress that day but from their vantage point they had seen the torches of a search party that would eventually figure out their direction and be hot on their heels. James wasn't sleeping, he was keeping watch for the progress of the search party and praying for rain to fall and wash away their tracks. He was also plagued with the guilt of having left everyone else they knew back in the Other village. He knew there was no way they could go back and rescue anyone else and him and Kate were headed for either an early death or a life of incredible loneliness, or maybe both. When the rain began to fall, James gave a silent cheer of joy and held Kate tighter in his arms. They had a chance, it wasn't a great future ahead of them but at least they would be free and they would have each other. Kate stirred slightly in his arms and kissed his stubbly chin still half-asleep before settling down again. James ran a hand down her curls and let it drift down her back. They would be okay, after all, they were both survivors and neither of them had been made for the captive life anyway._

**_Day Three_**

_They had found some caves and were hiding out there hoping and praying the search party and the dogs they had heard twenty minutes ago wouldn't find them. Kate was shivering from the cold and she stared at James in fear her emerald green eyes large as saucers in her pale face. They knelt huddled in the cramped space and the shaft of sunlight filtering through was their only source of light and heat._

_"I don't want to go back, I can't go back to those tests and needles, I just can't!" Kate whispered to him in desperation. Panic cracked her voice and she was shaking like a leaf. James brought his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly as held onto her tight._

_"You don't have to. You can keep runnin', I'll go out there an' create a diversion"_

_"No! No! I won't leave without you and you're not going to give yourself up to them. We're a team, we run together. We've come this far!" Kate interrupted him vehemently._

_James nodded to try and placate her but she wasn't having any of it, pulling away from him she stabbed him with a determined glare._

_"No heroics James, we go together, if we get captured then so be it. I can't do this without you. You're not leaving me all alone!" Kate said forcefully._

_"**Okay** Sassafras, no heroics." James conceded. His eyes and face were unreadable and Kate stared at him suspiciously for a long time._

_"Come on, we gotta go, they ain't anywhere near here no more." James encouraged._

_Kate turned her head to listen and she didn't hear anything either so nodding she let him lead the way out of the cramped space. They walked right into the waiting arms of Ben and his search party. Kate screamed as they zapped Sawyer repetitively fighting off the hands that were holding her to get to him. James writhed on the ground, in so much pain that he wished he would stop breathing; but the look in Kate's eyes as they bound and gagged her kept him going. Forcing himself to relax his body he rode the waves of pain that were rolling down his nervous system and vowed that he would get them out of this mess, if it was the last thing he ever did._

**_One month later_**

_Kate staggered back into the bedroom weakly, sinking into his welcoming embrace with a groan._

_"When can we try again? I don't know how much more of these hormones and drugs I can take!" Kate whispered in his ear._

_James frowned at her question, the wheels in head were whirring like crazy and the only solution he kept arriving at worried him greatly. Turning onto his side so that they faced each other James tucked a limp strand of her hair behind her ear. Her face was paler than he had ever seen it; her cheeks were hollowed out and the freckles stood out like someone had gone a little crazy with the brown paint on a blank canvas._

_"Not for a very long time Sweetcheeks... I think you're pregnant." James said to her so softly she had to read his lips to understand him._

_Kate shook her head in denial, tears welling up in her tortured eyes almost instantaneously. He watched her sadly, his eyes conveying the defeat they both felt. She brought her hand up to grip his arm and she sobbed her heart out, burying her face in his shirt._

_"Nooooooooo!! Nooooooooooooo!!! Why me? Why!?" She bawled, hitting his shoulder repeatedly._

_James just held her in his arms letting her cry it out, they both knew they were trapped, neither one of them would be willing to risk Kate's life with running now. And God only knew how or when they would escape afterwards._

_A few hours later, Kate wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled out of James' arms, their eyes spoke volumes and when they kissed James knew exactly what she wanted as he rolled off the bed and taking her hand led her to the kitchen._

_Juliet had silently watched from the doorway as James and Kate had christened the kitchen table for the sixth time that month. When they were done, lying there still fully clothed and gasping like lungfish on land, Juliet had walked up to James and tapped him on the shoulder._

_"You're five minutes late for work Ford and I need her in the lab, so if you don't mind?" Juliet had said in that calm collected voice that gave both Kate and James the creeps._

_Sitting up James had narrowed his eyes at her and without another word, zipped up his jeans as he slid off the kitchen table. Kate had a blank look on her face as James winked at her in parting, picking up his boots and lunch pail as he walked out the door._

_Juliet had smiled coldly at Kate before gesturing for her to lead the way out the door and towards the creepy laboratory where they conducted endless tests on her. This time, after the numerous vials of blood and urine samples were collected from her, Juliet had left the room, leaving Kate handcuffed to a table._

_After a few hours, Ben had entered the room and dragging a metal chair across the room; straddled it and smiled at Kate._

_"Hello Katherine, you're looking a little rough around the edges." Ben had observed._

_"So take this device off my ankle and let us go. I'm sure my edges will smoothen out." Kate bit back._

_"Now you and I both know it won't make a difference where you are for the next seven months, if this is going to be a rough pregnancy that's what it's going to be." Ben said matter of factly._

_Kate had merely sat there staring at him with contempt._

_"Congratulations Kate. You're going to be a Mommy." Ben smiled with pride as he said this._

_Juliet had walked back into the room and shaking her head at him had turned to glare at Kate._

_"It appears that all the alternative methods of conception we've tried failed. So the pregnancy isn't Jack's like we had hoped, it's the Redneck's." Ben said to her with distaste._

_"So are you going to get rid of it like you did the last one?" Kate had asked flatly._

_"No Katherine we won't. And I know you don't believe me but we had nothing to do with that unfortunate tragedy. We honestly didn't know you were pregnant. Of course given the situation, we will be monitoring you very closely. Juliet and I have taken a very special interest in this conception… that defies all scientific technology and Juliet's skills. None of us can understand how we missed this little development for the last six weeks." Ben informed her cheerfully._

_Juliet left Ben's side and uncuffed Kate, untying the paper gown she was wearing she handed Kate the dress she had been wearing before they had brought her in for tests. Kate had dressed in front of them with indifference; she was now immune to these intentional humiliations._

_When Kate got to the door, Ben had called out to her, "You can tell that Redneck the good news Katherine. Just know that we are going to do everything we can to prevent this pregnancy from carrying to full term."_

_That night in bed with James, Kate had told him everything that had happened, quoting Ben verbatim. James had held onto her tightly and tipping her chin up, forced her to look at him. Her eyes were flashing in the semi-darkness and James knew what that look meant._

_"Freckles-"_

_"I'm going to carry this pregnancy to full term, just to piss them off." Kate whispered vehemently in his ear, masking her words with a quick nibble on his ear._

_They always carried out their conversations under the cover of shower water, or under the guise of lovemaking. Knowing they were under camera and audio surveillance they had figured out that this was the most effective way to converse in private._

_"Freckles, I know you can do anythin' you set your mind to, but they've got drugs an' hormones they inject in you weekly, tests, superior technology-" James argued quietly into her mouth._

_"I don't care. I won't let them beat me! I won't let them beat us." Kate ground out of her lips, her breath hot against his neck._

_She rolled over to straddle him, placing a finger against his lips to signal the end of the discussion. James undressed her with his eyes in the silence before he brought his hands up to the back of her head and dragged her down for a deal-making kiss._

**_Two months later_**

_Kate sat in the laboratory facing Ben and Juliet who were eyeing her with a newfound respect. They had orchestrated a beating a month ago that had almost killed her but with James' help she'd recovered fully, her pregnancy still intact._

_"Juliet says there is no heartbeat according to the ultrasound but as we all know the baby is most definitely moving. We would like to take a better look but that involves a little more invasive procedure-"_

_"You're going to have to kill me in order to do that." Kate interrupted the beady-eyed man._

_"Katherine, you don't have a choice." Juliet interrupted in her soft voice._

_"I am talking to **Ben**, **Jules**. And I won't let you do anything else to me. I've read the rules and even 'flawed subjects' like me are immune after the first trimester." Kate said calmly. Her body was tensed as she prepared to fight off an attack._

_Ben had held Juliet back and taking the keys off her, uncuffed Kate's hands. Gripping her shoulders he had helped her stand and smiled at her slowly._

_"Okay, Katherine. This round goes to you. But you won't be pregnant forever."_

_Kate had stood there silently, not daring to look Ben in the face and show her relief. When they let her go back to the house, she'd found James waiting for her, his blue eyes conveying his relief at seeing her alive, well and standing on her own two feet. That night as they lay in bed together, too relieved to talk they'd rested their hands on her growing belly, comforted and encouraged by the continued movement of her baby._

_Seven and a half months into her term, Kate had gone into labor and to everyone's shock and delight delivered healthy triplets, two boys and a girl. Swept up in the moment of the exciting birth Ben had let James in the delivery room and allowed the Southerner to name the children himself._

_Although disappointed that the genes they had been hoping to mix hadn't worked this time, Ben, Juliet and the people they answered to were confident the next time would be lucky._

_A week later when James took Kate and the triplets home, Ben held her back for a moment and said to her, "As soon as you've recovered we're going to continue with the research, we are on the brink I can feel it. You make sure she gets enough rest James."_

_"So you can pump her full of hormones again, turn her into your lab rat while you try to make her procreate with Captain Jackass? Speakin' of the sonofabitch where is he?" James demanded angrily._

_"James." Kate said softly, holding a baby in one arm, she laid a restraining hand on his arm._

_"Listen to her Redneck, you might just live to see your kids grow. And failing that, you might just live." Ben had warned._

_Holding two of the children in his arms James had ignored the smaller man, as he'd let Kate roll out in her wheelchair and bringing up the rear they had gone back to the storybook cardboard cut-out structure they had began to call home._

_Two months later, when the test results came, Ben had stomped out of the lab in a fit of rage, heading straight for the house James and Kate shared. He had kicked the door open and grabbing James by the neck had pummeled him to the ground._

_"You ruin **everything**! You **always** have to ruin **everything**! Well enjoy the next eight months Ford, get in all the crazy never-ending sex you two **animals** like to have because after that you're never going to touch her again. This I promise you!"_

_When he had left, Kate had wiped James' bleeding face and leaning in for a kiss she'd allowed herself to smile. James had smiled back at her, but the wailing of their children who'd been woken by Ben's diatribe had interrupted the kiss progressing into anything more._

_One week after Kate gave birth to another son, they took her away and James was powerless to stop it. After a month and a half they let him see her and nothing could have prepared him for her tortured state._

_Her hair had been shorn, and it was already growing back, she was pale and gaunt her eyes bloodshot and her lips cracked. Pressing his hands against the glass James felt the powerless rage choking him as he repeatedly punched it an attempt to break through and rescue her. Kate had walked up to the glass slowly and proudly, putting her palms up to reflect the position of James' hands._

_"Freckles."_

_"How are the kids?" Kate asked him determinedly. Her eyes were downcast and she was biting her lip, her fingers gripping the glass tenaciously._

_"They're all fine, missin' their Momma… my voice isn't as soft as hers an' my breasts don't produce milk." James had quipped._

_Kate had laughed at this, her face lighting up for a brief moment, "Have you been getting the milk I've been pumping?"_

_James had nodded a lump rising up in his throat._

_"Good. James, you have to listen to me, and listen to me carefully." Kate had spoken in a low voice. Using her eyes to convey the seriousness of her request, she stroked the glass where his hands rested._

_"I don't want you to worry about me. I don't want you to try and rescue me. I need you and want you to take care of the kids for me. Can you do that for me?"_

_"Freckles."_

_"It's a simple question Cowboy, we don't have much time so yes or no will do." Her tone had shifted to cold and clinical._

_After a pregnant pause, James had nodded in response. Her smile was blinding as she laughed to herself, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. James moved his right hand trying futilely to touch her face._

_"That's enough, you have to leave." Ben ordered. James turned around to throw the creepy man a dirty look. When he turned back to look at Kate she was walking away from him, heading for a door in the wall._

_"Freckles! Freckles!" James had cried out but she did not turn around, rolling her shoulders back she took a deep breath and stepped out the door._

_"Her name is Katherine now. She doesn't respond to anything else." Ben said patiently. James turned around ready to smash his fist in Ben's face, but Ben shook his head._

_"You just don't give up do you Ford? It's like the harder we push you the harder you push back. You refuse to be tamed, and that's cost you her, are you going to keep on acting out and force me to take the children away from you too?"_

_James flexed his fists a number of times but backed down, shooting Ben daggers with his eyes he had walked out of the room, heading back to the house._

_When Sayid one of the few people he was allowed to interact with from the plane crash, opened the front door for James, he understood the look in the Southerner's eyes._

_Turning on the power drill he was carrying Sayid said one simple sentence, "The time has come, it's now or never."_

_James didn't say a word, it wasn't needed. He strode into the living room which had been converted into a nursery and observed his sleeping children._

_One week later James and Sayid snuck into the compound which housed the laboratory, Sayid disarmed the surveillance system and cut out the power. James ran through the rooms looking for Kate, armed with his rifle. He found her sleeping in the cell he'd seen her in the week before. She was hooked to all kinds of machinery that had ceased to work with the power outage._

_Pushing the door open he shook her awake gently, ripping off the wires and pads attached to her body before carrying her out and heading for the control room where Sayid was radioing a distress signal. Kate fought his hold on her forcing him to put her down._

_"Freckles, you look like hell an' I know you're falling apart in there. I'm sorry I broke my promise but I just couldn't leave you here." James explained to her, his eyes pleading for her to cooperate._

_"My name is Katherine!" Kate had spat at him. Slapping him she shoved him against the wall. The startled and hurt look on James' face seemed to affect her because her expression and entire demeanor changed._

_"Listen to me and listen to me good, I can't go with you. If I go with you they will take the babies away! They'll split them up and take them far away, James our babies will be raised by strangers." Kate said her entire body trembling. James reached out for her but she slapped his hands away._

_"They've done things to me, things that I can't explain because I don't know what or how and we don't have time. James… you have to go back and get the babies, as long as they are alive and you keep it together, they don't win."_

_"Freckles-"_

_"Aargh! Shut up and listen to me… there may come a time when I may do something to hurt you or them. No listen to me! And **you'll** have to **stop** me. By any means necessary. Do you understand me?" Kate enunciated carefully. James shook his head unable to process what she was saying or what she meant._

_"Sawyer. We must go now. They are coming for us." Sayid said from his vantage point in the lab entrance._

_Sawyer turned to look at Sayid momentarily and then turned back to look at Kate. She had an inscrutable look on her face and she was standing a few feet away from him now._

_"Katherine!"_

_"**Remember** what I said. Now, **go**!" Kate yelled at him over her shoulder as she ran away from him and slipped into a doorway James could not see in the dark. He ran after her feeling the surface for a door or opening of some kind. A bullet whizzed past his ear hitting the steel surface with a sharp sound. Turning around James realized that he and Sayid were no longer alone in the hallway. Dropping down onto his haunches, James crab-walked along the hallway and headed for the spot where he had seen Sayid minutes before._

_When they got out of the laboratory, James ran for the house as if the devil was chasing him. Fear for the fate of the children clenching his heart as he pushed himself to run faster than he had ever run. When he got there he found Ben and Juliet standing in the kitchen. Between them they were holding all four children. They were all asleep._

_"Do you know what the problem with being a hero is James?" Ben asked him softly._

_James didn't respond staring at his children with a wild panic as he tried to come up with a plan to get him and them out of this predicament._

_"You have got to sacrifice everything inside yourself, all the selfish things you want and desire for the greater good. You are not a hero James, you're a fool because you chose to sacrifice what little joy you could get out of this world for a dumb romantic idea. You cannot understand or conceive of what we are doing here. Thirty years of hard work has just gone up in smoke, because of you. Katherine chose to stay in the lab; she chose to let us help her. Make no mistake; **she** understands what's at stake here." Ben addressed him like a preacher at a pulpit. His eyes had bulged out of his face and spittle formed in the corners of his mouth._

_"What did you do to her? She didn't even recognize me." James hissed at Ben angrily._

_"Nothing she did not consent to. She is going to be somebody, in spite of your little stunt." Ben replied, his voice modulating to its normal pitch._

_"Give me my kids Bunny Man I ain't as dumb as I look. I know you've tried to get in my head an' it hasn't worked an' it won't ever work. You got everyone else 'round here walkin' like zombies but that ain't me an' it ain't ever gonna be me. So why don't we quit the flirtin' an' get straight to the fuckin'. "_

_"Okay Ford, you want to cut the crap, let's cut the crap. Yes, we haven't been able to break you, and yes we have no idea why, you were not supposed to be a problem. But since you want to be a hero so bad you might as well take your babies and leave. Nobody will stop you." Ben responded his face and voice giving nothing away._

_"What's the catch?" James asked warily._

_"Smart man… for starters you don't get Katherine. She's at a very sensitive stage right now. And let's be honest you're not a good influence. Your presence tends to distract her. We're going to salvage what we can from this debacle… so you can keep the children and we won't do anything to stop the search and recovery undoubtedly headed here." Ben said, warming to the idea immediately._

_James observed Juliet's facial expressions trying to gauge the sincerity of Ben's words, Juliet caught him looking at her and he got his answer._

_"If I agree to this, you stay away from me and mine for good." James said finally._

_"You are not in a position to bargain, but I'll humor you it's a deal but only if you keep your mouth shut." Ben threatened._

_James saw the concern in Juliet's eyes at Ben's capitulation, yet he had still wavered unsure._

_"What's the matter Redneck, I'm giving you the choice here. Be selfish or carry the weight of the world on your shoulders because no one else is going to remember any of this. I'm giving you five seconds to accept my offer." Ben finished off with a smile._

_James replied by taking the children from Ben, letting Juliet help him fashion the sling that would hold the youngest onto his chest and then with one son on his back, he cradled the other two in each arm. She handed him a small bag with a blanket, baby food, bottled breast milk and diapers. He slung it across his chest so it rested on his hip. Without looking back, James walked out of the house he had started to call home and headed in the general direction of the beach._

_The next night he stopped to rest in the caves, singing softly to the children that hadn't cried since he'd left the village. Instead when they weren't sleeping; they gurgled and cooed to him and each other the entire way._

_When dawn came he set off for the beach and was the first one of the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 to see the rescue boats and helicopters heading towards the shore. Picking up his blanket, James had wrapped it around his shoulders like a poncho, effectively concealing the children from view as he made his way to the boats. Falling down to his knees in pain, James gritted his teeth and held on tightly to his screaming cargo as the sky turned purple. When he finally managed to get up again, the babies had fallen silent, it was like nothing had ever happened, and he gratefully accepted the help offered to him as he clambered into the compact boat._

_They gave him a small cubicle on the ship that was anchored a few miles away, he didn't care, all that mattered was that it was too small to share with anyone else so he knew the babies would be safe there. After making sure they were fed and clean, James made them a makeshift bed on the floor before he headed out of the room and out onto the deck._

_They had found the other survivors now and they were being led towards the boats, James searched the multitude of faces, sighing in relief as he saw a pale and frightened looking Kate being led towards a boat with Jack._

_"It's crazy, these folks have all been wondering around the Island and none of them remember anything substantial!" A wet and muddied rescue worker commented to his colleague as they threw ladders down the side of the ship._

_Turning away from the scene on the beach, James smiled sadly at Hurley and Charlie as they gave him the thumbs up, clambering up the ships ladder happily._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you like it? Not like it? Let me know, **press that button and review!**


	6. Chapter 6 Back and Forth

Hey y'all, thank you so very much for your reviews and encouragement it means the world to me!

I wrote this chapter almost a week ago but my** Beloved Beta Bud **was busy breaking her ribs! I hope she gets better soon, but I have to admit it's a bonus for me to have her a little less busy! ducks head in shame

The story is going to start moving along now, I hope you like what I've done with our two protagonists here. SAVE THE James/Kate BANTER SAVE THE WORLD!

Just a quick note, the misspelling of 'apologise' later is intentional, and I am sorry it is so long but I just don't see how I could cut any of it out!

**Chapter 6 – Back and Forth**

Kate admired the bright rays of light as they danced on James' sleeping form. He looked like a bronze angel lying in his white sheets on the large bed, naked from the chest up at least. A sneaking suspicion told her that if she was to pull the covers away from his lower body she would find that he was just as naked below. This made her smile; as she chewed on her lip in slight nervousness. The urge to crawl into that large bed with him and see what would happen when he woke up was growing by the minute. Last night had been an eye-opener for her and since she had forgotten to take her medication before she went to bed, she found to her surprise that she remembered every minute detail of what had happened.

'Maybe you should stop staring at him like some kind of stalker and go take those pills Katherine.' She thought to herself. Mentally shrugging she decided to postpone leaving the large sunlit room for a little longer.

James peeled one eye open and sat up slowly when he spied Kate in the yellow pajamas, legs tucked beneath her as she sat in his armchair and watched him sleep from across the room.

"If you really wanna watch somethin' wakeup I suggest you mosey on over here an' see what the General's up to." James suggested in his sleep roughened voice. He raked a hand in his bed-hair and flashed her his dimples.

Kate rolled her eyes with a smile and sitting up a little straighter; gazed out the window wistfully. James grunted softly, pulling the covers away he set his feet on the soft carpet and stood up. Kate's eyes widened in shock when she saw that he was indeed naked and 'half awake', as he padded past her and headed for the bathroom. Her green eyes followed his naked form with appreciation.

The door was slightly ajar and she watched him splash some water on his face before he reached for his toothbrush and squeezing some toothpaste on it, started to brush his teeth. Kate blushed furiously as her thoughts went down a decidedly lustful path; there wasn't an ounce of fat on his body and although she was staring at his back she found herself just as titillated as she had been when she'd seen his front.

James rinsed his mouth in the sink and saw Kate ogling him from her seat in the bedroom. Turning around he leaned against the sink and crossed his arms, gazing at her with twinkling eyes.

"Is that better?" He asked her jauntily.

"Yes, it is actually." Kate deadpanned

She raked her eyes hotly over his body and James reached forward to slam the door in her face.

"I need to take a leak." He supplied through the closed door. Kate heard him walking towards the toilet bowl.

"Yeah right." Kate chuckled to herself, pleased to see that she had rattled him slightly.

Rising she walked over to the floor to ceiling windows and looked out at the green lawns and the structure that looked like a barn next to a paddock. She also spied what appeared to be a boathouse by the river she could see in the background.

"He's got himself a nice setup here." Kate said to herself; turning to the sound of the shower she spotted a sketchpad on the bedside table. Her interest piqued she walked over to the bed to see what was inside.

"Still as nosy as ever." James remarked as he stepped out of the bathroom and glared at her. She was sitting on his bed and she was studying the book intently, the image of her in his bed looked so right it irked him.

"Sorry. But these are beautiful… where is it?" Kate replied; looking up at him her eyes sparkled with the excitement of her discovery. The book had various sketches; some were of caves and then there were a few of a set of cages of some sort, with tropical foliage in the background.

"Nowhere." James snapped snatching the book from her he fixed her with a pointed look.

Kate played dumb as she continued to smile at him, her green eyes dancing mischievously.

"I wanna get dressed Sweetcheeks, so get out." James said through gritted teeth.

"You can go right ahead, _I'm_ not stopping you James." Kate replied, her smile widening.

"An' why would you wanna watch me get dressed?" James asked her suspiciously.

"Why not? It's not like there's anything under that towel that I haven't already seen." Kate challenged.

James hesitated for a second before he untied his towel with a shrug, pausing to make sure Kate got a good look before he turned away from her and walked over to his dresser.

James pulled out a pair of white boxers and a shirt, turning to toss them on the bed; he reached up on top and palmed a jar of body lotion. Sitting down in the armchair he dipped his fingers in the lotion and rubbing his hands together started to apply it to his well-defined arms and chest. He fixed Kate with a challenging stare.

"Body lotion?" Kate laughed at him.

"You seen most Southerners my age? Skin looks like rawhide."

"Jack would never dress in front of me." Kate commented, her eyes never leaving his.

"Well Jack's a jackass."

"He's a great man, an amazing spinal surgeon… and a hero."

"Yeah that too, same thing ain't it?" James smiled as his response earned him a frown.

Standing up he approached the bed and unfolded his boxers then pulled them on, Kate watched all of this with feigned disinterest her eyes avoiding his. James walked over to his floor length built in closet, and sliding one of the doors open pulled out a pair of blue jeans.

"I'd go an' get ready if I were you, as soon as I'm done I'll be ready to tow you back in to Marshall." James warned her over his shoulder.

Kate smiled at his back weakly at the mention of her leaving, biting back a protest she climbed off the bed and headed for the door.

Ten minutes later she had changed into her spare clothes, a pair of blue jeans and a silk emerald green short sleeved blouse. To her chagrin she hadn't packed any spare shoes and seeing as one of her boot heels was broken she was going to have to wear the slippers James had loaned her the night before. She surveyed the room she'd slept in one last time and pulling unnecessarily at the already straight coverlet on the bed she had made earlier, she walked out the door.

James was waiting for her in the hallway and he took her bag from her as he led the way down the stairs. Kate glanced at the various pictures of different people taken in different times but didn't stop to look at them properly.

"I'm hungry." Kate grumbled as they descended the stairs. James stopped at the base and sweeping her form with his eyes he sighed and nodded his head. Changing direction and heading for the kitchen.

She smiled at her small victory, she had nothing but an empty hotel room to go back to until her flight that evening, and she didn't want to spend the hours leading up to it alone.

Looking around the parlor she took a good look at the pictures on the wall. She raised an eyebrow at a school picture of James in acid wash jeans and sporting a mullet. There were over a dozen pictures and all but one of them were taken in black and white. A few of them appeared to be very old, the women in the photographs sporting 20s and 40s hairstyles. There was about four pictures including the color one that seemed a lot more recent than that, but it was hard to tell just how recent. The only color photograph was of a little dark haired girl in a Native American Indian outfit on what looked like a stage. And the other two photographs were of three little boys, they were all dressed as cowboys. Standing closer she studied a large black and white picture of what she assumed was James and either his siblings or first cousins.

"Get in here Freckles!" James called out from the kitchen.

Smiling to herself Kate threw one last glance at the pictures before she made her way into the kitchen.

**One Hour later**

"That was amazing!" Kate sighed with satisfaction. She licked her fingers as she smiled at James.

"Glad to be of service, ma'am." James replied good-naturedly.

He got up to clear the dishes from the table but Kate reached a hand out to stop him. Shaking her head at him she got up and took the plates away from him. James sat back down and watched her bustle around the kitchen, scraping leftovers off the plate into the trashcan before she started to rinse the dishes. She looked at him over her shoulder, the sun gilding her profile through the kitchen window. James felt his breath catch painfully in his throat.

"So all that time on the Island you were like some secret chef?" Kate asked.

"No… you just happened to sample a couple of the few things I _can_ cook." James replied. Wincing inwardly at her mention of the Island, he had to admit to himself that talk of the Island from her was more than a slightly sensitive subject.

"Well that's a few more than me… I can't cook to save a life." Kate offered with a grin.

"I know." James muttered under his breath. Kate didn't hear him, she was busy loading the dishwasher.

After she had cleared everything, Kate wiped her hands on a dishcloth as she smiled up at James who was standing in the doorway. Putting it down on the counter she sashayed out of the kitchen, stopping by the pictures on the wall.

"I noticed that there aren't any recent pictures of you here." Kate observed as she scanned the pictures again.

James stood next to her and studied her intently, he hated the hope he felt budding in his chest.

"That's 'cause there ain't nothin' worth photographin' that's happened to me since the Island." James drawled.

"I doubt that very much." Kate replied with a small laugh.

She pointed at the picture of four children, obviously taken in a studio; they couldn't have been older than two at the time the picture was taken. There were two boys, a girl and another boy who was slightly younger on the lap of the little girl.

"I can't figure out if those are your siblings or your cousins in that baby picture of you." Kate remarked, pointing at the picture as she squinted at it.

James just stood there staring at her. After almost a minute of silence, Kate glanced up at him questioningly. The look in his eyes unsettled her.

"I'll bet your sister is absolutely stunning now. She's got the dark hair, light eyes thing working for her. They all do in this photo actually, when did your hair become so light?" Kate asked.

James smiled at her through clenched teeth, the urge to growl the truth at her was so strong it was taking everything he had to stop himself.

"We should get goin' I got someplace else I need to be later." He ground out. Sweeping his eyes over the pictures on the wall then over her he pivoted on his heel and headed for the front door.

Kate looked at the wall and then at his retreating figure with confusion, what had she said?

Pasting a smile on her face, she straightened up and said to his scowling figure in the doorway, "Lead the way, Cowboy."

James wrenched the door open and without waiting for Kate practically stomped out onto the wraparound porch and around to the back of the house. Kate who was still wearing the indoor slippers and feeling a few twinges from her slightly sprained ankle; followed at a more sedate pace. James had descended down the wooden stairs and was striding purposefully towards the structure Kate had seen from his bedroom window earlier.

Not bothering to keep up with him, she shuffle-walked to the building and ignoring him as he walked past the building and made a beeline for the trees, she opened the door. Her eyes lit up with excitement when she saw the horses in their stalls. Walking by each stall; she pet the horses on their noses, speaking to them in a hushed voice as she stroked their manes. She heard the sound of an engine starting somewhere outside and sighed to herself.

James started his truck with a scowl on his face; he couldn't believe that he'd allowed her to stay in his house this long. She was polluting everything with her presence, her smiles and her questions. Why had she come here? He needed to get her off his property and out of his life as soon as possible that was for certain. Leaving the engine running, he got out of the truck and went into the stable to retrieve his upsetting uninvited houseguest.

"Okay, I know you've got stuff to do but its Sunday and I know that _nothing_ that important happens in these kinds of areas. Let's go fishing! Please, I haven't gone fishing in years! Just an hour of fishing before you take me back?" Kate spoke in a rush, her excitement chased by desperation showing in her face.

James who had been on the brink of snapping at her for making him wait found himself wavering in the face of her high hopes. Against his better judgment he relented, nodding his head in agreement. He still had a few hours of spare time, why not allow himself this little pleasure and spend it with her?

Kate's smile was beatific as she handed James a fishing rod and carrying her own as well as the tackle and bait she led the way towards the stream. James stopped to turn off the engine in the running motor before he caught up with her. He raised an eyebrow at her bare feet but didn't say anything.

"I think this spot will be perfect." Kate stated as she climbed onto a pile of rocks right by the bank of the stream. She had rolled her jeans up to her knees when they got to the river and happily stuck her feet in the cold water.

James shrugged as he followed her sitting down right next to her on the spacious rock. Gripping the rod in between her knees, she was already opening the box which housed the artificial bait they would be using.

"Sure, why not?" He said sarcastically.

"You don't always have to be so belligerent you know." Kate commented as she flung her line into the water. James attached his lure to the hook and followed suit, risking a glance in her direction, she turned to meet his eyes and smiled at him. He didn't realize it but there was an answering smile on his lips.

"I'm not belligerent." James defended himself.

"Yes you are!" Kate argued as she laughed.

"I am not." James replied with exasperation.

Kate rolled her eyes at this, "Who do you think you're kidding here Tex? I know you, remember?"

"Is that a fact?" James teased.

"Yes it is. You mask all your feelings with belligerence and acting like you don't care what people think about you." Kate replied knowingly.

"Unh huh, so you think you've got me figured out do ya?"

"Yes. You're not that hard to figure out. You're a loner, which is why you always kept yourself away from everyone on the Island and also why you live here all on your own. You like the nice things in life like women, cologne, money, alcohol and cigarettes. Those are the things you can't live without." Kate surmised.

"I can live without those things!" James protested.

"Really? I seem to remember you smoking, drinking, flirting with anything in a skirt that _moved_ and wearing cologne on the Island." Kate retorted smartly.

"I don't care what think about me an' I don't smoke anymore." James informed her smugly.

"Liar."

"You seen me smoke a single cigarette since you turned up here yesterday?" James asked her, his eyes twinkling.

Kate's eyes widened at this revelation, pausing for a moment then shaking her head, she looked at him differently.

"You don't know me as well as you think you do Freckles. I've got layers too." James said matter-of-factly.

"I guess not." Kate said in a funny voice.

"Don't look so sad sweetheart, we've all changed." James' eyes rested on her silk blouse when he said this.

Kate smiled at him sadly, "I haven't."

"Come on _Katherine_, are you kiddin' me? You've changed the most." James argued.

"I don't feel very different right now. Arguing with you feels very much the same." Kate replied tartly. She was giving him the fish-eye.

James chuckled at this, "Yeah well some things never change."

They sat there for a long time not speaking, but smiling up at each other every once in a while as they waited for the fish to bite.

"Did you argue with the Lady Who Shall Not Be Named?" Kate probed cautiously. She risked a glance up at him from the corner of her eye.

James didn't look at her as he frowned at the water then shaking his head he gave her a pained smile.

"Nah. Not half as much as we would've in a different set of circumstances." James said finally.

"I was thinking about what you said about her last night… she must have been really special to you." Kate ventured.

James gave her a warning look but he didn't deny her allegation either. Instead he went back to gazing out at the water, lost in the past. Memories that were all the more painful and bittersweet since the subject was sitting right next to him as oblivious to their shared past as he was aware of it.

Kate mentally kicked herself for pushing the topic of the woman and searched her mind for something neutral to talk about.

"So is there a chance that you will consider my Securicare proposal? I didn't see it in my bag." Kate asked casually.

"No chance Freckles… an' if you're lookin' for your proposal you better get yourself some scuba gear, 'cause I threw it in the river." James replied.

Kate's nostrils flared with indignation, "You threw it in the river?! What is the matter with you?"

"For Christ's sakes not this again!"

"What do you mean not this again? You threw my proposal in the river! I made the effort and came out all the way here to give you the courtesy of appealing to your more human side-"

"Let's be honest, you came here with your airs an' graces, an' Waspy soundin' new name an' thought you were goin' to seduce me or manipulate me with your feminine charms-"

"Seduce you!?? You must be out of your mind I wouldn't _touch_ you with a barge pole, rubber gloves and Lysol on top!"

"Yeah sure, you tell yourself that Peaches an' maybe if you say it often an' loud enough we'll both believe it."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means Sheera, you didn't really come here to discuss Securicare, you came here to scratch an itch that started in that boardroom last month. Hell maybe it's been there a helluva lot longer."

"You are so deluded."

"Am I?"

"Is that why you kissed me? Because you thought I was here to seduce you?"

James gave a short laugh, "I think you need to up your crazy pill dosage Sweetcheeks, you kissed me remember?"

Kate shoved him hard, nearly toppling him off his perch on the rock. James was laughing hysterically now, but the laughter died on his lips when he saw the betrayed look on her face.

"Don't worry Peaches, it didn't mean anythin'. Was just the alcohol talkin'." James offered her his tone conciliatory.

Kate tore her eyes away from his and went back to staring at the water, her eyes welled up with tears and she fought the urge to let them fall. After a few minutes she looked at him again. He watched her with hooded eyes.

"No it wasn't. And you can say what you like but the truth is there is _something_ between us." Kate said flatly. Turning to face him she brought her knees up and rested her chin on them, her eyes never leaving his.

"I think we could live a hundred different lives or be reincarnated and this would always be there." She spoke softly with conviction.

James didn't have a comeback and he merely stared at her. Kate shrugged at his lack of response.

"Just because I'm crazy doesn't mean I can't have my sane moments." She said with a sad smile before turning back to her neglected fishing rod.

"You're not crazy. I was just joshin' with ya." James responded, his face serious.

"Well you were right."

"No I wasn't… what would happen if you stopped takin' those pills?"

"I don't know. But I know I haven't taken them since I left Houston for Marshall yesterday morning." Kate supplied.

"I think you're less annoyin' off 'em… you don't act like you got somethin' shoved up your ass." James said gruffly.

Kate peeked at him from the corner of her eye, smiling a little she shook her head at him.

"You don't know me."

"I know enough."

Kate swiveled on the rock and scooting backwards, fixed James with a watery emerald glare.

"Okay Cowboy, what would you do if you were in my position… try and imagine that instead of just accepting the amnesia you feel like you can't. And then to aggravate the situation, you feel a loss… a great unbearable loss that you can't-"

"Only thing you've been missin' Peaches is your personality." James interrupted her.

"Very funny." Kate snapped.

"I'm not tryin' to be funny here. But look at you! Wearin' four inch stiletto heels to a plantation… carin' 'bout designer bags an' shit, actin' like some kind of spoilt Princess while you spend your days an' your life sedated to the gills. That ain't you Sassafras. What happened to the woman who was happiest climbin' a tree or hikin' into the heart of darkness with nothin' on her but the clothes on her back an' the brains God gave her?"

Kate drew back in surprise; blinking a few times she once again had to adjust her opinion of the handsome Southerner.

"I don't know." Kate whispered.

"Yes you do." James persisted, his eyes unrelenting, they dared her to deny it.

She didn't say anything for a long time, just staring at him in silence. James didn't dare open his mouth. He could see the wheels in her head turning, and he waited for her answer with bated breath.

"I wanted to reinvent myself, I got a second chance, Kate was a murderer and a fugitive. When we were rescued I guess I just got caught up in the tide. I have put everything I felt and still feel about the amnesia and stuff into my work and into being at least pretty damn sane in the boardroom… I didn't even realize this is what I had become until you confronted me last night." Kate's eyes beseeched him to believe her.

James nodded in understanding and offered her a lopsided smile.

"Whether you're Kate or Katherine you still killed Wayne an' were on the run. They say denial's the first step, so maybe try an' see how long you can go without the medication. Take some time off… stop tryin' so damn hard. Maybe it'll come back to you…"

"Maybe it won't."

"Maybe. You won't find out unless you try." James advised.

"When did you become so wise and all-knowing?" Kate asked with a teary inquisitive smile.

"I'm a complex guy sweetheart." James replied enigmatically.

Kate laughed at this, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. The fast-becoming familiar hum of electricity flowed beneath her fingertips. She drew back like she had been burned, and looked into James' eyes.

"Is that why you shot at me for trespassing yesterday?" Kate enquired.

"For what its worth they were blanks…I shot at you because I wanted to prove a point." James said with a rueful smile.

"The I Won't Fall for Your Securicare Inspired Seduction point?" Kate teased.

"That's the one!" James exclaimed with a chuckle.

They shared a few moments of laughter together before they were interrupted by the sound of screeching voices.

"What did you catch Papa!!?" Yelled a little girl, her dark ringlets flying behind her in the wind as she ran towards James.

Kate turned to look in surprise, blinking a few times to make sure she really was seeing what she was seeing. James set the fishing rod down next to Kate and stepping off the rocks, knelt on the ground and held his arms out for the little girl as she catapulted into his arms.

"Nothin' yet Shortcake, I don't think the little critters like me very much! Why y'all home so early!?" James exclaimed with good-humored chagrin.

Kate saw a flash of bars in the dark followed by an image of hands wrapped around the bars then it shifted to a glass room but once again the image was gone before she could place the incident. This time she was a little shaken, this wasn't a recurring dream, she had felt the rusted metal beneath her hands and smelt the sterility of the room. It was a memory! Shaking it off Kate watched with wide eyes as she saw little boys heading towards them.

Three boys arrived and they launched themselves into James' open arms as well. They were all talking at once making it impossible for Kate to follow the conversation that James was handling with ease.

"No son, I didn't try usin' a worm from the garden. Yes Tristan I fed your horse an' why dontcha wait 'til your brothers an' sister stop yellin' in ma ear for me to tell you who the lady is DC?" James replied addressing all three boys.

All four children stopped chattering in unison and stared at Kate with undisguised interest. James turned around to look at Kate and she put her fishing rod down running a hand through her hair shakily she smiled at the children nervously.

"Katherine Dorf meet my four highly excitable rugrats in order of age; Andrew, David, Brianna Alexis an' last but most definitely not least Tristan. Kids this is Miz Katherine Dorf, an' ol' friend of Daddy's." James introduced cheerfully.

Kate clambered down the rocks carefully before she knelt down on the ground in front of the children to talk to them. All four of them had curly hair ranging from chestnut brown to black. Tristan the youngest was like his siblings, wearing blue jeans, sneakers, and a white t-shirt, he was the only one of the children with green eyes. The other children although, dressed identically, had varying shades of dark blue eyes; their sister's were a startling hazel.

"I am so very pleased to meet you; Andrew, David, Brianna and Tristan." Kate said softly. Shaking each child's hand as she said their names, James watched the entire exchange intently.

"Pleased to meet you too Miz Dorf." The kids said in awestruck unison.

Turning in James' arms Tristan whispered in James' ear, "She is so beautiful Papa, she looks like an angel."

Kate flushed with pride at the audible compliment. Her eyes drinking in the kids' appearances; a small frown graced her brow as a thought teased its way in her head. They looked very familiar to her.

The other three nodded in agreement with Tristan's comment, sneaking surreptitious glances at Kate before they tried to hide in James' neck. James chuckled at their behavior his blue eyes meeting Kate's with an indecipherable emotion in them.

"Okay, okay, enough of the shy act, y'all wanna help me an' Katherine here catch our dinner?" James asked the four imps.

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I know! I know!" They chimed excitedly, forgetting their shyness as they jumped up and down in James' arms. Laughing he stood up, holding Tristan in his arms he looked down at the triplets as they tried to talk over each other.

"One at a time now." James warned with laughter.

"Me first! Papa we need you to help us get our fishin' rods!" Tristan talked over his siblings.

"Okay, let's get you your fishin' rods. Shortcake you lead the way." James agreed. The little girl ran back towards the house, her brothers nipping at her heels. Kate who was laughing at the children's antics followed James as he strode after the children, bouncing Tristan on his shoulders.

To say she felt weird around James and his brood would be an understatement, she felt the cold hand of anxiety gripping her heart, as if she was walking on a tightrope with a 300 foot drop of nothing beneath her. And the worst part was that she didn't know or understand why.

**A Few Hours Later**

"Why are they all dressed the same?" Kate asked with amused curiosity.

Her green eyes were sparkling as she watched the children sitting on the rocks, bare feet dangling in the air as they waited for more fish to bite. Between the four of them, they had with James and Kate's help reeled in six fish.

James shook his head with a grimace, "Trust me Sassafras, it makes mornings a helluva lot easier… Ali over there has her moments when she wants to dress like a girl, but most times she wants to be just like her brothers."

"I can't believe you have four kids, why didn't you say something earlier?" Kate asked.

They were sitting on a smaller rock that faced the larger one the children were on, James was cleaning and gutting the relatively big fish they had already caught.

"Why? It didn't come up… an' I was hopin' to have dropped you off in Marshall before they got home." James said truthfully. He didn't look up from what he was doing, partially in fear of seeing the effect of his words.

"So what's the age difference between them?" Kate inquired, as she studied the children with interest. She decided to tuck away that hurtful truth for when she got back to New York and she was alone again.

"Drew is the oldest, then David or Dada or DC as we call him is two minutes younger an' Ali was born a minute after DC. I'm pretty convinced she got sick an' tired of bein' squashed by her brothers an' decided to push 'em out." James remarked with love and pride showing in his voice.

Kate studied the little girl who was chattering away to her brothers about mermaids, the three boys listened to her enthralled by the story she was weaving.

"And Tristan?" Kate probed. Her eyes falling on the youngest child whose eyes reminded her of her own.

"Tristan was born nine months after the triplets, he was a month early an' the most well-behaved lil' baby I've ever seen. Soon as he turned two he cowboyed up an' started takin' on the older boys." James said this last part with a chuckle.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing. It's amazing… I've ended up with nothing and you got everything." Kate commented sadly.

James stopped what he was doing to look into her eyes, "It's all relative… it ain't been easy Sweetcheeks I didn't sleep for almost two years."

"Where's their mother?" Kate pressed her tone sharp at the mention of the woman who had borne him the children.

"Gone." James replied shortly, his tone telling her this was not something he wished to discuss.

"What do you mean gone?" Kate asked perturbed.

"As in not there. She left me an' the babies when Tristan was a week old." James said softly, careful for the children not to hear.

Kate felt tears well up in her eyes, "What kind of a woman would do that? How could she just walk away from them?"

"The mother of my children so easy on the stone throwin' there Freckles." James said in an emotionally distraught voice.

"I take it she had the dark hair?" Kate asked changing the subject; she saw Tristan watching her.

"Dark hair an' green eyes." James informed her. He carefully kept his face blank and watched her with detachment.

"I see… I thought I was the exception to the rule." Kate said in a funny voice.

"What rule's that?" James asked intrigued.

"The busty dumb blondes rule." Kate said with a scornful grin.

"I ain't got no rule like that! My only rule is that they be warm an' willin'!" James laughed in protest. He didn't care what anybody said; he deserved an Oscar for his performance here today.

"Well I have to wonder why we never slept together on the Island." Kate remarked with a toneless laugh. His revelation about Ana-Lucia the night before had hurt she couldn't deny that to herself.

James shrugged half-heartedly, not meeting her eyes he cast a gimlet gaze over the kids as they started arguing over something. Tristan got up and was standing very close to the edge, waving his free hand in the air as he tried to raise his voice over the others.

"Ali, watch out for your brother." James said in a loud voice. He carefully modulated it so as not to scare anyone. The little girl shook her head at James before she carried on yelling at the boys.

Tristan's foot moved even closer to the edge and James leapt from the rock he was standing on to catch the boy just before he fell in the water.

"Enough! That's it, pack up your stuff, we're goin' inside!" James yelled at the kids. They immediately stopped arguing and began to protest loudly. James shook his head at them still carrying Tristan in his arms as he ushered the other three away from the water. As soon as they started climbing over the rocks, the boys stopped protesting and shouldering their rods, headed for the trees. Ali on the other hand looked like she was just getting started.

"Carry me too Papa!" Ali yelled as she pulled on his leg. James looked down at her and fixed her with a grim stare.

"No Babylove, you nearly pushed him into the river. I ain't carryin' you anywhere." James said sternly.

Kate picked up the cooler packed with the fish they had caught and made her way down the rocks watching the exchange with interest. Her heart was doing all kinds of crazy things inside her chest and her mind was racing so fast she couldn't keep track. She still couldn't reconcile this James with the Sawyer she remembered on the Island but then again something about it seemed to make perfect sense. Like this was the answer to countering all his self-destructiveness and anti-social behavior all along.

"Carry me!" Ali cried, fat tears rolling down her face as she stamped her foot. James remained where he stood and watched her.

"Are we gonna do this, Angel? In front of Miz Katherine?" He asked the little girl, Tristan was watching his sister with wide green eyes.

"Put him down an' carry ME!!!" Ali screamed at him, her face flushing with anger.

James smiled at her as he shook his head, "No can do darlin', you can walk on your own two feet."

Without another word James headed for the trees, and Kate unsure of what to do followed slowly. Ali took deep breaths and then screamed really loud, Kate stopped to go back to the little girl.

"Don't fuel the fire Freckles, leave her there." James warned, indicating for Kate to precede him with his head.

Kate looked like she wanted to argue, Ali's screams were really getting to her; but the look in his eyes told her he would not tolerate her interference here. Shrugging she followed him through the trees and past the stables and back into the house. Ali trailed them still screaming her head off in a tantrum.

The boys were sitting on a swing that hung on the back-porch, they watched their father set Tristan down and hold his hand out to Kate for the cooler of fish.

"Where's Viv an' Mel?" James asked the boys.

"Marshall gettin' Vincent from Cassidy's." Drew volunteered.

James and Kate winced as they heard a loud repetitive banging coming from the front of the house. James looked around to see that Ali was no longer in the back and knew exactly where the little tyrant had gone.

"Oh she's gonna get it." James muttered under his breath setting the cooler down he raced down the stairs and over to the front of the house.

"What's going on?" Kate asked the boys who were whispering to each other excitedly.

"I think Ali's bangin' somethin' into your car Miz Katherine." Tristan piped up.

"You can call me Kate boys, Miz Katherine is for old ladies." Kate said to them with a smile.

"We're gonna go an' watch are you comin' Kate?" David asked as the boys clambered off the swing and headed for the front yard. Kate opened her mouth to suggest they wait there but Tristan grabbed her hand and dragged her with him in his surprisingly powerful grip.

When they got to the front porch they saw Ali using a rock and banging it into Kate's broken car door. She was screaming loudly as she did it making sure she really got James' attention. James was standing on the driveway with his hands on his hips watching her tantrum.

"Ali you stop that right now or I'm gonna whup your butt." James threatened.

Kate looked on with interest, she knew that tone and personally she had no idea how the little girl could carry on like that with James giving her his patent glare.

"Don't worry Kate… Papa will never lay a finger on her, it's so unfair, she gets away with everythin'!" Drew complained, the other boys nodding their agreement.

"So then why does he tell her he's going to spank her?" Kate asked confused.

The boys shrugged, their eyes transfixed on the scene their sister was making. Kate looked down at Tristan who still had his small hand in hers. Tears sprung up in her eyes unbidden as she stared at his dark head.

'Damn it Kate, get a grip on yourself. Why are they making you so emotional? You should have taken your medication!' Kate chastised herself. Blinking the tears away she smiled shakily at Tristan who was looking up at her.

"Don't worry Kate, Papa will make her say sorry for hurtin' your car." Tristan consoled, patting her leg with his free hand.

Kate shook her head at the little boy, "I'm not worried about the car, I just got something in my eye." She lied smoothly.

Tristan frowned up at her before he turned to watch his sister work their father. James shook his head at his stubborn daughter who'd stopped hitting the car door and was glaring at him from across the car. Walking away and heading towards the house he saw Kate and the boys standing on the porch.

"Boys, Kate, why don't we go inside an' get dinner started? She's gonna be at it for a while."

The boys cheered at the suggestion of helping with dinner and not sparing their sister another glance, pulled the front door open, running in to the kitchen. Kate followed them with James by her side, smiling up at him nervously.

"How long is she going to keep that up?" Kate asked him, wincing at the sound of the rock banging into the car door accompanied by Ali's shrieking again.

"You worried 'bout your car? Don't worry I'll pay for the damage." James taunted her.

"That's not why… how long _can_ she keep it up?"

"Long enough." James said wryly.

"Will she apologise?" Kate asked.

"Eventually… she's as stubborn as her Momma that one. Next time you wanna throw a tantrum Peaches you should learn from her, she could show you a thing or two." James mocked her gently.

Kate had the good grace to blush at the mention of her behavior the night before.

"No wonder you were so calm about me you have the real McCoy here." Kate said with an embarrassed smile.

"Also you were a grown woman actin' like a five year old. But in answer to your question…pretty much." James agreed cheerfully.

Clapping his hands together to get the boys' attention, James started to delegate in preparation for the evening meal.

An hour later, after the boys had put out the dog food, helped James with the marinade, peeled potatoes with Kate and gone to wash up for dinner, Ali had stomped in to the kitchen. Her face was dirty and tear-streaked, her white t-shirt no longer recognizable and her jeans and bare feet filthy with dirt. The irony of her dirty condition was not lost on either adult.

"You done with the performance Angelface? Ready to set the table so the rest of us can eat?" James asked his daughter.

She nodded slowly, walking up to him and wrapping her grubby arms around his leg she hid her face in his jeans. James had a pained expression on his face as he picked her up and looked into her cherubic face.

"Let's get you cleaned up first shall we? You got somethin' you wanna say to everybody before we go?" He asked her tenderly.

The little girl looked at Kate with large hazel green eyes that looked more green than anything in the light.

"I'm sorry for hurtin' your car Miz Katherine, I didn't mean to do it for so long." The girl said truthfully.

Kate approached the little girl and put a hand on her shoulder in acceptance of the apology. James drew a sharp breath as he took in the strong resemblance between mother and daughter as they stood so close to each other.

"That's okay honey, I kind of hurt it too yesterday."

"Why? Did you want Papa to carry you too?"

Kate didn't dare look at James, "Not exactly, I wasn't looking where I was going."

"Papa put me down so I can alopogise to Tristan." Ali demanded.

James obliged her and stood there with Kate as they watched her approach her baby brother. Although he was taller, Ali hugged her brother and placing his head on her shoulder patted his back gently.

"I'm sorry Tree." She said plaintively.

Tristan put his arms around his sister and hugged her tightly before he let her go, "That's okay Ali, I know you didn't mean to."

Ali nodded and reaching her hand up to her father let him lead her out of the room to get cleaned up. The boys looked at Kate with broad grins, and started to shove each other playfully in an attempt to impress her. Kate laughed at their antics, touched by their endearing behavior.

When they returned, Ali set the table carefully, bossing the boys around about the placement of the cutlery and the tumblers. All children seated in their heavily cushioned chairs, James set the fish stew he'd made with the roasted potatoes and much to the children's very vocal displeasure, steamed green vegetables. Kate laughed at the scowl James gave the recalcitrant children.

After dinner, Kate helped the children with clearing the table and then did the dishes herself while James ushered them out of the kitchen and into their playroom.

"What time's your flight Sassafras?" James asked softly.

"We won't make it back in time, I'll catch the early morning flight instead." Kate replied cheerfully as she washed the dishes.

"You know I got a huge ass dishwasher to prevent folks from havin' to do the dishes right?" James teased.

"I know but I don't mind doing them. It's the very least I can do after you've fed and entertained me." Kate replied, a grateful smile on her face as she met James' eyes in the kitchen window reflection.

James sat down at the kitchen table and watched her washing the dishes, disbelieving of what he was about to say.

"My grandma Viv an' my cousin Melanie are gonna be back any minute now, they went to get our dog, Vincent. You can stay here another night if you want."

"You named your dog Vincent?" Kate asked in amused incredulity.

James made a face, "Yeah, so? I liked Vincent!" He said defensively.

"Okay, calm down! I guess I just didn't figure you as the sentimental type." Kate laughed as she approached the table.

"Let's not start the whole "that's not you" argument again alright?" James said with an eye-roll.

Kate's smile died and sitting down across from James she reached for his hands that were resting on the surface.

"Actually I was going to ask you a huge favor, while we were on the subject." Kate started then looking into his eyes she paused searching for the words.

"I've had a crazy 24 hours, I don't know if it's the not taking the pills or being here with you and your family or both. What I do know is that I feel better than I have in years and I was wondering if maybe every once in a while, with advance warning of course! I could maybe come down here to see you and just be _Kate_. The person you and I both like. The person I used to be before all of this."

James' face was unreadable as he weighed the consequences of allowing her this seemingly small request. As he looked into her face, so open and earnest, he knew there was only one answer.

"With advance warnin', I promise I won't try to shoot you on sight." James quipped slyly.

Kate laughed, lowering her head with grateful relief; she ran her hands through her hair and smiled at him her eyes dancing.

"I would love to stay the night but I think I should go back to my hotel if I plan on getting to work before lunch time tomorrow."

"Alright, let's get you in the truck, I think I hear Viv's ol' rattler out front, if we don't hustle the two of 'em will start talkin' for Texas an' we won't leave til real late. I gotta be back in time to tuck the munchkins in otherwise there'll be hell to pay." James said with a smile as he helped Kate out of her chair and steered her towards the kitchen back-door.

"Kids come say goodbye to Kate! She's goin' back to the big City!" James yelled. A few seconds later; they responded with the thunder of little feet running into the kitchen followed by a cacophony of noise.

They all patted Kate and hugged her legs as they tried to out-do each other with their goodbyes. When they were done they ran out of the room to go back to their cartoons, pausing to chatter excitedly at the bark of a dog in the hallway. Before James could push Kate out the door, a petite silver haired woman and a tall willowy dark caramel complexioned teenage girl walked into the kitchen. James rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"What are you huffin' an' puffin' about Ford? You know you ain't too old for me to put over my knee an' spank!" Snapped the elegant looking older woman, she approached Kate and held out her hand to the younger woman.

"I'm Vivienne Lee Jackson Ford, this ill-bred redneck sonofabitch's paternal grandmother." She introduced herself.

"I'm pleased to meet you Mrs. Ford"

"Vivienne. Mrs. Ford was my mother-in-law."

"I'm pleased to meet you Vivienne"

"Well? You gonna keep me hangin' in suspense here, what's your name?"

"K-K-Kath-Kate."

"I can't say that, would take half the day to say your name, how about I just call you Kate?"

"B-but I"

"What's the matter with her, she got a speech impediment?" Vivienne asked James, never taking her dark eyes off Kate.

"No ma'am, you're just not lettin' her get a word in edgewise." James offered.

"You gettin' smart with me boy?" Vivienne snapped, glaring at him.

James shook his head silently.

"Well Melanie, you gonna stand there all night lollygaggin' or are you gonna introduce yourself to K-K-Kath-Kate here?" Vivienne asked the girl standing next to her.

"Grandma you never let anyone speak, I… nevermind. Hi Kate, I'm Melanie Vivienne Ford, Jamie's cousin." The girl had a husky, sultry voice and combined with her earth-shattering looks Kate irrationally, was quite relieved that she was a relation as opposed to a love interest of James'.

"Pleased to meet you Melanie." Kate managed, flushing furiously under the sharp brown eyes of the older woman.

"Well, now we got that outta the way, Kate here was just leavin' she's got a flight to catch." James said breezily, steering a grateful Kate out the back-door.

Vivienne raised an eyebrow at their hasty retreat but didn't say anything else, turning around to survey the tidy kitchen she harrumphed as she gestured for Melanie to get their warming dinner.

Kate and James giggled like teenagers as they headed back towards the stables where James' truck was waiting. Kate stepped into the stables to retrieve her bag and then sliding into the passenger seat of James' truck smiled at him to drive.

After James attached the tow rope to the Mustang he drove down and out of the driveway, Kate turning back to look at the white plantation house wistfully. She really wished she didn't have to go back to her fancy, materialistic life she had discovered a longing she had forgotten she had. Gritting her teeth with determination she made a resolution and turning to James opened her mouth to speak.

"I don't think I'm going to take those pills anymore. They're obviously working too well if all I do is float through my life. Yesterday and today, I don't feel so empty today and I still don't remember what happened on the Island. I think you were right, maybe what I've been missing all along is my personality." Kate said passionately, warming to the idea.

James glanced over at her and all he saw was the striking resemblance between her and Ali, smiling at her sadly he turned his eyes back on the road.

"Yeah, maybe."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Please Press that Button and Review the future of this fic is in your hands! xx Dulce_**

**P.S. Do not worry there will be no love triangle or quadrangle or any other geometric shape in this fic! With these two it's a straight line with two points, James and Kate.**


	7. Chapter 7 All the Drugs

Thank you all so much for the kind and thoughtful and encouraging reviews. I really appreciate it. Thanks to my** Beautiful Bestest Beta Bud, **this story would be much crappier without her!

Welcome aboard **EM**. Hope you stay 'til this train gets to the last stop.

This chapter is shorter than the last one because it's kind of useful filler. I have to admit like all fans of the show I have fanwanked as to what The Others are all about. So although the story is more about James and Kate, what happened to them on the Island will be addressed.

I am not going to go on any tangents about The Others' program I'm just going to try and deal with it with direct relevance to our two protagonists.

Enjoy and y'all have a great week!

**Chapter 7 – All the Drugs**

Kate walked in to the apartment that evening with a soft sigh of exhaustion, she had gone straight to work when she had arrived but as soon as the clock struck five she had left. The last few days had been emotionally draining on her and she felt very unsteady on the inside.

Walking into the bedroom she sat down on the bed and pulled out a small grainy black business card. Smiling at it she shook her head in amusement, reading the words again for the hundredth time that day.

James had given it to her the night before after he had dropped her off; she hadn't looked at it properly and it was only that morning that she had realized there was no private contact number or information on it.

"Where've you been? Did you get the deal with Sawyer?"

Kate looked up, startled and feeling a little guilty she snuck the card back into her jacket pocket as she smiled tiredly at Jack.

"His name is James."

"Where were you?"

"Texas, I told you where I was going before I left."

"I called your hotel in Houston and they said you didn't check in."

"I didn't. I stayed somewhere else."

"Did you get the deal?"

Kate smiled at Jack ruefully, "No. He threw my proposal in the river."

Jack nodded at this, "Somehow I am not surprised. What I can't believe is that you took no for an answer."

"It doesn't matter. I've got a number of projects in the works anyway." Kate said dismissively.

Getting up to her feet she walked into their en-suite bathroom. Jack followed her, a frown marring his brow. He loosened his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt as he stood on the cold tiles in his socks.

"It doesn't matter? Every single project matters Katherine, you of all people should know that."

Kate ignored him; turning on the hot water faucet she got herself some bath salts and sprinkled them into the tub. Her mind drifting back to the strange and unsettling reality that James had some semblance of a balanced life with his plantation house and four children. He seemed to have found some kind of peace and happiness, something that was glaringly obvious to Kate that she lacked. How had that happened? She had done all the right things, and she had ended up here. All the things she had wanted while she was on the run, she had. The money, the success, the respect, the too good to be true boyfriend, how had an angry tormented con-man overtaken her in the race of life so completely?

Jack observed Kate with growing consternation, she clearly wasn't listening to him and she was trembling. When he approached her, laying a hand on her arm she wrenched her arm away and shoved him, without turning to look at him. Approaching her again he gripped her shoulders and yelled her name.

"What's going on Katherine?" Jack yelled in her face.

Her green eyes widened slightly at the force in his voice and then focusing on him she fought him off.

"I'm trying to run a bath here and _unwind_, Jack! What are _you_ doing?!"

Jack took a step back a little confused by the situation, Kate started to undress and after a moment he left the bathroom closing the door behind him. Kate breathed a sigh of relief, she had been afraid he would want to watch her undress, or worse.

Stepping into the now full tub, she hissed at the temperature, then settled back with her hair trailing in the water. Closing her eyes, she sighed in fatigue, her mind was crowded with thoughts and images, the noise was deafening and she would have really appreciated the peace and calm that came with her prescription. Gritting her teeth with determination she squashed the loud voice in her head that was telling her to reach for her pills. Instead she chose to focus on the events of the weekend. With a small smile on her face, her mind drifted back to the kiss she'd shared with James on his balcony.

The clamor settled and she lay back, falling into a light sleep as images flashed through her mind in rapid succession. There was a cage of some sort, an angry man yelling, fists flying and then torrential rain falling as Kate heard a woman who sounded like her screaming.

'_Fight! Get up! I'll do anything!_'

Kate woke up with a start shooting up in the now cold water, gasping for breath she spit out the water she'd swallowed when she slipped under the bathwater. Shaken to the very core, Kate climbed out of the tub, pulling the plug with trembling fingers she knelt by the draining water and stared into it with fear.

**One Hour Later**

Jack studied the woman sitting next to him on the sofa, although there was only a foot of space separating them the divide seemed like a chasm. She was wrapped in a thick blanket, her feet tucked underneath her, body turned away from him. Her hair was still damp and drying in its natural curly state; something he hadn't seen in years.

The television blared in the background as Kate stared blankly at the screen, for the first time in years Jack felt like he didn't know the woman sitting next to him. He couldn't place a single event that had started the change in her but she just seemed different.

The phone rang and Kate didn't flinch, her eyes unblinking as she shivered slightly, Jack watched her until the phone stopped ringing. Reaching out he touched her arm, calling her name. She did not respond.

"_Kate_!"

Green troubled eyes turned to meet his; she frowned at him slightly as her enlarged pupils contracted to focus on him.

"What's wrong? You're acting weird." Jack said with concern.

"I'm acting like me, Jack." She responded flatly.

The spinal surgeon frowned at her as his eyes searched her face, "Have you been taking your prescription?"

"Of course. Why?"

"You're behavior has been a little bizarre since you got home. You didn't even hear me or respond when I called you Katherine."

Her nose wrinkled slightly, "I don't li- I'm sorry."

Jack placed a hand on her forehead, her temperature felt fine, cupping her face he looked into her eyes, and they were focused.

"I don't see anything but you're shaking and you're distracted. Maybe you need a higher prescription."

Kate kept her expression blank, and eventually Jack released her. Smiling at him apologetically she got up from her seat.

"I'm going to turn in, I'm really tired and I have a busy day tomorrow."

"Good idea. I'm going to call Dr. Burke and get you an emergency appointment I think you need to up your dosage." Jack said to her retreating figure.

Kate bared her teeth in irritation at his over-handedness but didn't say anything or stop walking to their bedroom.

A few minutes later he climbed under the covers with her and sliding towards her he leaned down to kiss her. Kate lay there stiffly, her heartbeat was already racing, she was sweating and irritable she did not want to go through the motions tonight. She kissed him back though, because she knew he would react badly if she didn't.

When he pulled away from her, sliding his hands under her night-shirt, Kate suppressed the urge to vomit. The kiss was so disappointing and passionless in comparison to what she had shared with James the other night, she felt decidedly unwilling to prolong this.

"Katherine, it's not even eight o'clock yet." Jack said his voice heavy with desire.

"I'm tired. I can't tonight Jack." Kate apologized in a falsely sincere voice.

She didn't wait to see his reaction; turning herself away from him she curled up into the fetal position and dragged the covers up and over her head. Jack rolled away from her and stared up at the ceiling in frustration.

**Three days later**

Kate's hand shook uncontrollably as she applied her mascara in the clinic bathroom. The last four nights she had dreamt of awful things, ranging from being handcuffed and thrown around to needles being stuck in her arm and neck. The night before, she had woken up in a cold sweat after dreaming of herself lying on a cold metallic surface as indescribable pain ripped through her. A familiar but unidentifiable voice was encouraging her to breathe and telling her she was going to be okay.

Giving up on the mascara she gripped her arms tightly and willed her racing heart to slowdown. The constant anxiety, the sweating and the agitation had become a friend to her in the last few days. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and headed for Dr. Juliet Burke's office.

"Hello Katherine, you look tired."

"Thanks." Kate said with a grimace, sitting down on the soft leather couch that faced the blonde therapist's elaborately decorated desk.

She tugged at her lime green designer suit with discomfort. Juliet noticed that her patient's hair was naturally curly today; a style the younger woman hadn't sported since she had boarded the ship back on the Island. She scribbled in her notebook.

"I have another appointment in thirty minutes so why don't we talk about what's troubling you?"

"I've been having dreams."

"Go on."

"And they feel very real, and the same things always happen in them."

"What kind of things?"

"I feel pain, it's dark, I hear screams, and sometimes their mine and sometimes they belong to someone else. I also see flashes of hands, rusted bars, jungle, a glass wall, needles, wires, an angry man yelling and beating someone up, I see who it is but I don't remember when I wake up." Kate said emotionally, her fear coloring her words.

"You're trembling and you're sweating, have you been taking your medication Katherine?"

"Yes, of course." Kate lied without hesitation.

"This is very strange. When did this start?"

"When I came back from a business trip… I saw Ja-Sawyer from the Island."

Juliet sat up a little straighter, her blue eyes studying Kate intently.

"Is there something he might have said to you that upset you?"

Kate remembered him telling her that he was hoping she would have been gone before his kids came home. Silently she debated telling Juliet about this and all the things she had discovered but instinct told her to keep it to herself.

"No. He was the same old Sawyer, belligerent, surly and rude. He showed me what he thought of my business proposal by throwing it in the river and telling me to get off his property." Kate said with a small smile.

Juliet cocked her head to the side and watched her patient warily, something about her behavior was niggling a thought in the back of her mind.

"So the attraction you felt in the boardroom last month, the one you feel towards him is still there?" Juliet probed.

Kate nodded slightly, her eyes pensive.

"How do you feel about his dismissal of your proposal?"

"I'm over it. Either way, I'll get my salary increase by the end of this month." Kate said breezily.

"And what about your relationship with Jack, has that changed?"

"We're still strangers living in the same house if that's what you are asking."

"Now why would you pick that word?"

"What word?"

"Strangers."

"It's the most accurate description."

"I see."

"Do you? I took your advice and have tried to see if things can go back to the honeymoon period but there is no spark. The moments where we both feel uncomfortable around each other are more frequent. And I can't bring myself to have sex with him anymore."

"Maybe all you need is to take some time off together. What do you think?"

"I don't know, maybe that's the answer." Kate answered dishonestly. She knew damn well what she thought about going away on vacation with Jack, and neither Jack nor the doctor would like it.

She caught herself watching Juliet, trying to gauge the doctor's reaction to her words. She noticed the older woman's fingers tense as she gripped her pen and scribbled on her notepad. Kate heard the click of a tape-recorder coming from behind the desk, Juliet looked up at her and Kate pretended she hadn't heard anything. Cold fingers were wrapping themselves around her heart as she sat in the office. Something about her visit had a sinister feel to it, she was lying to her doctor and she didn't know why.

'You're kind of choosing to trust James over Juliet here Kate.' Kate thought to herself in confusion.

"I'm going to up your dosage and prescribe something that should get rid of the anxiety and the nightmares." Juliet intruded on Kate's thoughts.

"I want you to do me a favor and keep a diary until our next meeting, write down everything you dream of and feel. I think we should meet next week."

"Why? What's wrong with me? Why am I having these dreams? They feel so real… almost like memories-"

"No Katherine, don't be fooled, they aren't memories, it's just your subconscious telegraphing your deepest and worst fears; incarceration, pain, helplessness. Its textbook stuff and nothing to worry about. The Seroquel will calm you down and take care of the bad dreams." Juliet interrupted.

"You're prescribing me another sedative?" Kate's nostrils flared in anger.

"Yes, I think it will help us pinpoint what the problem is."

"I don't want anymore drugs! Can't you help me without them?" Kate demanded, rubbing her hands in agitation.

"Katherine, I need you to lower your voice and calm down. I know it's not standard practice but in the circumstances I'd suggest you take your medication and feel free to have a drink or two before bed. It should relax you and get rid of the nightmares. In fact next week before our session I want you to take your meds and then have a drink to unwind a little before the pills take effect." Juliet said calmly.

Kate shook her head, her eyes darting wildly around the room as claustrophobia closed in on her. The blonde rose from her seat and approached the distressed brunette.

"I don't want to be medicated forever Juliet. You need to help me get off the drugs and help me deal with my life without them." Kate said with determination.

"One step at a time Katherine, let's get this latest development under control and then we'll see what we can do about the long-term. Okay?"

Kate looked down at the gentle hand on her shoulder and felt a violent urge to slap it away, breathing in deeply she brought her hand up and touched Juliet's briefly.

"Okay."

"Katherine, I would like to take a blood sample-"

"NO! No needles, please. I can't right now." Kate protested, panic raising her voice.

"Okay… not right now. When you're ready." Juliet acquiesced.

Kate stood up and hugged the blonde woman; pulling away she smiled weakly before she headed for the door. Juliet watched her go with a worried look on her face, this couldn't be good.

**That night**

Kate poured the pills down the toilet, replacing them with vitamin C pills that looked exactly the same. She didn't know why she was doing it but after picking up her prescription she had gone to the most crowded store she could think of and paying with cash, purchased multivitamins and other harmless pills that resembled her prescription drugs. Carefully, while Jack was out she had replaced all her prescription medication with the vitamins.

Heart racing she accepted the glass of water and the pills that Jack handed her, swallowing them with a small smile on her face. Jack had stroked her hair back in approval before he went back into his office and sat at his computer.

Crawling into bed, Kate clasped her hands to her chest, and asked herself what she was doing as she shivered from withdrawal. Thankfully Jack was leaving for a week and she was going to weather the worst of her withdrawal in private. The only thing that kept her going was knowing that when she felt up to it she would be paying a visit to the gorgeous golden Southerner that had cast a glorious light on her in the darkness she had been unwittingly living in.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Don't forget to press that button and review**. Feed the author, SAVE THE WORLD. ;)

P.S. Seroquel is a real drug apparently it's a sedative and can be used to well… sedate and as prevention for insomnia, agitation, hallucination, etc!


	8. Chapter 8 Awakening

**First off, shoutout to my Bestest Beautiful Brainy Beta Bud, I have no idea how she does it chapter after chapter but she just brings her Beta-ing A game! Hugs and well wishes for her and her broken ribs guys!**

**Secondly, from the bottom of my heart I thank you EM and KT for the encouraging reviews you keep writing! I am so scared of dropping the ball with this fic 'cause y'all say such nice things. I'm praying I don't screw it up!**

**Lastly, this chapter is advances the plot a little. There is an argument near the end of the chapter that y'all may feel is missing something but I wrote it this way because the characters are confused and more than a little distrusting of what the other remembers. It will all be dealt with in Chapter 9 so bear with me. If it still doesn't work... REWRITE. **

**I don't know many facts about memory loss and neither does the medical world (I've researched this) so I am using some poetic license with this aspect of the story. The human brain, body and spirit are so amazing and complex that most things are possible anyway, so I hope it's credible if not entirely accurate!**

**Without further ado…**

**Chapter 8 - Awakening**

"Hi James, it's Kath-Kate. I'm calling from a payphone in Houston. I'll be in Marshall by 6:30 a.m. I'll wait for you by the main post office."

That was the message Kate had left five hours ago and she hoped that he checked his voicemail, earlier rather than later. She chewed on her lip nervously as she debated whether to try him again. Her decision to come here hadn't even been a conscious one; she'd just picked up her handbag, stuffing a toothbrush, dental floss, a change of underwear, her makeup bag and a wad of cash in it as she fled the apartment. She did not remember if she had locked the door behind her. Getting on the last flight out to Texas she'd drank a lot on the plane stopping when they landed. Shakily she had rented a motorcycle and gone to a payphone to leave the message before heading for Marshall. She hadn't slept in over 24 hours and she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten, but the worst of her withdrawal seemed to have passed. She was operating on heretofore unknown reserves and too much alcohol she didn't dare risk driving any further.

She shaded her eyes as a beat-up 1940s army green Ford truck pulled up in front of the Post Office.

Vivienne Ford pushed the passenger door open and fixed a piercing glare on the troubled brunette.

"I don't have all day you getting in or not?" The older woman snapped.

Kate shouldered her handbag and hurried into the car. She hadn't even shut the door properly when the woman released the clutch and accelerated.

They sat in silence all the way through the town and back onto the highway; Kate tugged at her baseball cap nervously.

"Hmmph. I've seen skeletons with more meat on their bones."

Kate fidgeted in her seat, her eyes darting up and around, she took her cap off letting the cool breeze run through her bed-raggled hair.

"You eat anything since you were last here?" Vivienne demanded.

"Yes." Kate's voice croaked from lack of use.

"What?"

"Yes ma' am."

"You trying to be sassy with me, girl?"

"No ma' am I wasn't be-"

"I may not be your grandma but I can still spank you like one of my own." Vivienne warned.

Kate did not respond, afraid to rile the feisty woman anymore. 'Is James punishing me for the short notice?'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"No I'm just scared of you." Kate responded truthfully, daring to look Vivienne in the eye.

The woman's eyes met hers briefly before she turned them back on to the road.

"That's the smartest thing you've said all mornin'. Now hush up, my morning show is on."

Kate smiled despite herself, tugging at her black t-shirt she stared out the window and turned her face into the rising sun.

When the truck pulled into the long driveway, Kate's breath caught in her throat, making a small gurgling sound. It was like she was seeing it for the first time, bathed in the rising sunlight shining from behind, it looked almost sacred. Sitting up a little straighter she held on tightly to the cap on her lap. Letting the hat go as she belatedly thought to check her appearance in the side-view mirror. She was shocked at her state.

Her eyes had dark circles underneath, her lips were chapped, and she was pale as a sheet her dark curls hung limply. Gasping she frantically ran her fingers through her hair, then rifling through her bag smiled in triumph when she located some lip gloss.

"Good idea." Viv observed drily.

Kate didn't reply, applying the gloss with a shaky hand she looked at the open front-door with something akin to abject terror. Now that she was here she found she was scared to go in.

Viv stopped the truck right in front of the steps and hopped out of the vehicle with a limberness that belied her age. Kate got out just as quickly afraid the woman would leave her to enter the house on her own.

They stepped over the threshold and headed for the kitchen where what could only be described as pandemonium was taking place.

"I don't wanna eat this Papa! I wanna have ice-cream!"

"Me too Papa! If Tree gets ice-cream I do too!"

"No fair if Tree an' Drew get ice-cream I do too!"

"Nobody's eatin' no damn ice-cream! Eat your porridge before I lose my temper!"

"I've finished mine Papa!"

"No she didn't she gave it to Vincent!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"You're stupid!"

"Unh-huh Ali dja stupid! Dja stupid cause dja ugly an' dja ugly 'cause dja stupid!"

"Daddy! Drew just said I was ugly!"

"No he said dja ugly an' stupid!"

"Drew stop rilin' your sister up!"

"She started it!"

"No you started it!"

"Ali get your butt upstairs an' drag Mel down here. Drew you can help me shovel horse manure tomorrow for that. Tristan eat your damn breakfast 'fore I paddle your ass. Anyone makes another sound that doesn't involve gettin' ready to leave in the next ten minutes can kiss ice-cream an' t.v. privileges for the next week goodbye." James threatened.

The kitchen went quiet; Ali ran out of the kitchen and past Kate and Viv waving at the younger woman mid-sprint to go and get Melanie. While Tristan's green eyes widened comically as he shoveled the now congealed porridge into his mouth. Drew ducked past his father's steely blue glare and snuck out of the kitchen and David, silently stood by Vincent's food bowl, trying to hide the fact that he too had given the missing dog all his porridge.

"Look who I found at the Post Office waiting to be picked up like a care package!" Viv chirped, striding to the kitchen table and sitting next to her great-grandson. She shrugged off her Barbour coat and propped one jean clad, booted foot on the neighboring chair's bottom rung.

The little boy looked up at her, his cheeks so full they were ready to burst, his eyes twinkled when Viv winked at him and pulling out a handkerchief let him spit the food out into it. James didn't notice he was staring at Kate as she stood shyly in the doorway.

"Good Morning." Kate mumbled softly, her eyes darting away from James' before meeting his again.

"Ain't nothin' good 'bout it. I got Spawn of Satan here drivin' me crazy an' it's not even eight o'clock yet." James quipped, sweeping his hand around the kitchen to illustrate his point.

"Mornin' Kate! An' I ain't spawn Papa!" Tristan piped up from the kitchen table as he waved at Kate.

James swiveled to fix a mock stern glare on his youngest son.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you know what spawn _is_ son?"

"No but if it belongs to Satan it ain't good! An' I'm good, like Jeebus!" Tristan replied with enthusiasm.

"Jeebus? Now who's that?"

"God's son, Papa. Dontcha listen to Uncle Tony when he's preachin'?"

James grimaced, approaching his son he flopped in the chair next to Tristan and pretended to fall asleep, snoring loudly. David crept up on his Dad and the two boys stared at James' sleeping form. Kate watched with amusement from her position in the doorway. Her face lit up at the Southerner's out of character antics but it was the kids' contagious excitement that was most amusing.

Tristan's eyes sparkled as he leaned forward and poked his father in the chest, James' head lolled to the side but he kept on snoring. David climbed onto his lap and pried an eyelid open. Tristan watched with avid fascination as his father kept on sleeping.

"Wake up Papa! Wake up!" David and Tristan chimed loudly.

"Jeebus, angels, heaven, hell, saints, sinners, zzzzzzzzzzzz." James muttered in between snores.

"You bored him to sleep Tree! You know Papa don't like talk 'bout Uncle Tony's preachin'!"

Tristan shrugged helplessly, "Oops."

James let out a particularly loud snore, flailing his arm dangerously the boys exclaimed in fear.

"What are we gonna do?" Tristan whispered at his brother.

"Give him a Ford awakenin', right Nana?" David asked slyly.

Vivienne nodded her agreement and looking up at Kate she winked just as the boys started beating James around the head as they yelled at the top of their lungs.

"Okay! Okay! I'm awake!! Is talk 'bout Uncle Snooze-time over?" James groaned as he caught a small fist in the forehead.

He grabbed both boys and lifting them up in each arm dangled them in the air cackling gleefully. The boys laughed in delight, flailing wildly as they fought James' grip. Kate found herself chuckling along with Vivienne who was watching the entire exchange with a delighted glint in her eye. Vincent a Shepherd Labrador came running in from another room and barked excitedly, jumping around James and the dangling boys.

Kate unconsciously approached the scene, sitting down in a chair next to Vivienne.

"Oh _hell_ no! Ford! Did you take my body lotion? What'd I tell you 'bout gettin' your own!?"

Everyone turned to look at an enraged Melanie as she marched into the room, dressed in a school uniform and waving an empty jar of cocoa butter in the air.

"Mine ran out. Sorry" James said unapologetically.

"I know yours ran out 'cause you took mine! Now I have to go to the drugstore and get some before I go to school. I still have to drop Team Brat at kindergarten here and I'm going to be so late!"

"You tell him, Mel!" Ali encouraged from where she stood by Melanie's side. The little girl had managed to change her clothes since Kate's arrival; she was now wearing a white dress with Timberlands.

"Yeah tell him Mel! He was makin' fun of Uncle Tony again an' he won't put us down!" Added David who was still dangling from his father's left arm.

"An' he's makin' me shovel horse doo-doo!" Piped Drew who'd snuck back into the kitchen.

"Hold on now, what's everyone gangin' up on me for!?" James protested

The children all started talking at once, poking and prodding their father as they tried to out-do each other.

"I made you some porridge Mel." James cajoled his cousin, as he tried to evade the shouting rascals.

"You done lost your damn mind if you think I'm gonna eat _that_. Okay, enough! If y'all wanna go to school, get in the car! I'm leaving now!" Melanie yelled as she stomped out the kitchen door, throwing James a dirty look when she passed him.

James set the two imps down and looked at the kids ruefully as they shrugged in sympathy before they scrambled for their lunchboxes and backpacks. Vivienne got up from her seat, muttering something about having a full day of house calls ahead of her.

Ten minutes later James and Kate were the only two people left in the house, and judging from the irritated look on James' face, Kate decided that wasn't a good thing.

"So how's your mornin' been so far darlin'?" James asked with a lift of his brow.

Kate burst out laughing, shaking her head at him.

"It's seven forty a.m. but it feels more like its mid-day in this house!"

"Yeah well, kids don't like my oatmeal an' when Mel drives 'em to school she buys them double chocolate muffins. Sabotaged at every turn." James said dryly as he surveyed the disaster zone that comprised the kitchen. He looked at Kate miserably before he hunkered down to the floor and picked up a forgotten plastic spoon that was glued with oatmeal.

Kate was still smiling at him as she said, "Just admit you love it."

"No, Freckles, I _really_ don't, it always takes hours to clean this shit up. An' they don't even _eat_ the damn breakfast I make for them." James said with a grimace as he used some paper towel to wipe the gunk on the floor.

Kate loosened the laces on her Timberlands before she slid her feet out and perched them on the chair, resting her chin on her knees as she watched James clear up. He was wearing an apron that said; '_No bitchin' in my kitchen!_' on top of a dark blue shirt and jeans, his feet were in flip flops.

"Hey Princess! This ain't a spectator sport git your ass up an' give me a hand here!" James said over his shoulder as he dropped the soggy paper towel in the trash can.

Kate got up, catching the pack of disinfectant wipes as James threw it at her.

"I didn't come here to clean!" Kate protested good-naturedly.

"Well, then you're at the wrong house 'cause here at Casa Ford that's top priority… right next to makin' a mess an' drivin' me crazy." James smirked as he washed his hands.

Kate smiled, raising her eyebrows at him, she remained silent.

"Okay, Sassafras, what did you come here with barely any advance warnin' for?" James asked a playful smile twisting his lips as he observed her from the kitchen window.

"I thought you could use the company." Kate replied evasively, her eyes sweeping the kitchen with distaste.

"Is that why you look like you ain't slept in a week? Up all night worryin' 'bout my lack of company?" James mocked, turning around to face her.

"No, that's because I am off the meds and it looks like I might have become a little dependent on them. I barely remember getting here." Kate said softly.

"Where's Mr. Fix-It been while you're sufferin'?" James asked his derisive tone not quite hiding his bitterness. He was leaning with his back on the sink, arms crossed as he watched her intently.

"Away. Which is the best place he could be right now." Kate replied truthfully.

"Why's that? Isn't savin' the damsel in distress right up his alley? Or was that pre-Craphole Island rescue Jack?"

"No Jack's the same. I'm the one who's changed. I don't need Jack to save m- actually I don't need Jack at all." Kate realized as she spoke. Her nose wrinkling at the articulation of something she had been feeling.

"All this self-discovery in a week?" James probed disbelievingly.

"It's been a long time coming. I'm just so tired of feeling pressured by him. Like if I am just a little bit of Kate I've failed. I think it's the lack of sleep and the withdrawal but in New York I'm just numb." Kate said finally, her voice faltering as fear of facing the truth and relief mingled to make her feel close to tears.

"Well nothin' like some good honest cleanin' to get you feelin' alive an' rejuvenated." James said cheerfully in an attempt to steer the conversation.

"I haven't slept in over 24 hours and this kitchen doesn't look like it will ever be clean." Kate said skeptically as she stared pointedly at a glob of oatmeal that dropped off the edge of the counter and onto the floor.

"When the rugrats were babies I went days without sleepin' when they got sick. I still managed to clean, helped take my mind of things. 'Sides, idle hands are the Devil's tools, Freckles." James quipped, throwing her a sponge.

Smirking at the doubtful look on her face, James reached up on the window sill and turned on the old cd player that sat there. Kate opened her mouth to protest but James with his back to her had already found the station he wanted and chuckling at the song that was just starting turned the volume up.

"_I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. Can't you see that you're smothering me."_

Kate's eyes widened in surprise at the irony of the song and nodding at James' unspoken challenge, turned to tackle the congealed oatmeal on the table.

**A Few Hours Later**

Kate wiped the hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand, sweating profusely she blinked away the stars that danced behind her eyes.

"Well I'll be damned didn't think you had it in you to stick it through!" James observed with a smile as he watched her from the doorway.

Kate smiled at him tiredly, as she threw the sponge back in the bucket by her knees. Holding her hand out to him she let him help her up from her position on the floor.

"Don't ever say I can't clean! I used to have to clean my hideouts when I was on the run and I'd make sure I left no fingerprints or DNA." Kate said proudly.

Sitting down at the now sparkling kitchen table with a sigh of relief, she patted the seat next to her in invitation. James took it, lifting her bare feet onto his lap he began to knead them firmly as he studied her face.

"I stand corrected; the Katherine takeover didn't get all of you. I gotta say a choice between scrubbin' these tiles an' makin' the beds, I will always choose the beds." James admitted.

"That feels amazing; you've done this before haven't you?" Kate said with a groan of pleasure, her head tilted back as she closed her eyes and enjoyed his ministrations.

"More times than I can count." James replied.

"Well, whoever those lucky women were, they taught you good. Mmm… I was just about to ask you to massage that spot!" Kate murmured appreciatively.

"For all the elbow grease you put into this kitchen, it's the least I could do." James said trying to change the subject.

Would the pain never get easier? He wondered to himself.

"So the kitchen is spotless, you've cleaned the bedrooms and vacuumed the play room, does that mean I can sleep for a while?" Kate mumbled drowsily.

James stopped kneading her feet, pushing her legs off his lap onto the floor he rose swiftly.

"Hey!" Kate exclaimed, sitting up and looking at James in surprise.

The handsome Southerner leaned down and gripped her shoulders forcing her to rise.

"I don't think so Sweetcheeks. You came here to keep me company, so that's what you're gonna do. Let's go take a walk outside. It'll wake you up."

"Okay! I'm sorry, I won't even think about sleeping… slave driver." Kate teased with a giggle. She had forgotten how comical James could be, and felt silly for having been momentarily afraid of him.

James strode into the pantry and Kate heard him rattle around for a few minutes as she looked around the kitchen with pride. She had done an amazing job there was no doubt about it. James was right it was therapeutic and it had done a whole lot more for her peace of mind than any of the therapy in the last three years.

"How 'bout a picnic?" James suggested, sticking his head out of the pantry.

Kate smiled at him, "I'd love one!"

James nodded; turning back towards the pantry he stopped suddenly, "I thought you hated picnics?"

"I do."

"So why'd you say yes?"

"Don't you hate picnics too?"

"I do."

"So why did you suggest it?"

James glared at her, and pulling the hamper he'd hastily put together he gestured towards the kitchen door. Kate with a puzzled smile on her face, led the way out, wondering why she couldn't remember actually having a conversation with James about picnics.

Kate descended the back steps and turned to watch James descend; an image of him carrying a red tin pail flashed in her mind. It was followed by a vivid image of the two of them in some kind of yard. There were other people there and a man in a pale shirt was telling them to work. Kate gasped, blinking sharply; she smiled distractedly at James as he approached her and indicated for her to walk towards the trees.

Kate let him walk ahead as she remembered James kissing her in that very same yard and then everything that had happened afterwards on that day came back to her. The shock wore off quickly as other more shocking memories chased the one of the kiss away.

"Hey Slowpoke! I'm starvin' here, quit checkin' out my ass an' get a move on!" James called out to her.

Kate rolled her eyes and picking up the pace with a new lightness to her step, she couldn't believe she was remembering something tangible and she couldn't wait to tell him that they had made out in the middle of an Others prison camp!

They walked through the trees laughing at nothing in particular and then picked a spot in the sparser populated line of the shady trees. James spread the blanket he'd brought and before Kate could sit down the mutt came bounding towards her.

"Vinny _arrête_!" James commanded the dog.

Kate's green eyes widened in surprise, "Vincent is a girl?"

The dog shuddered to a stop, curling her lips back menacingly at Kate; James set the hamper down and held his hand out palm flat.

"Good Girl, now shake with Kate." James ordered the dog gently.

The dog stopped snarling and brought her left paw up for Kate to shake, Kate took the dog's paw in her right hand.

"Now let go Vinny an' say hello." James said in that same tone.

The dog retracted her paw and rolled over a few times, before she licked Kate's hand enthusiastically, barking happily when Kate scratched behind her ears.

"That's enough now Vinny, I brought you a treat too, naughty girl, there you go! Good girl!" James cooed at the dog as she gobbled up the dog biscuit he pulled out of his pocket.

The intelligent dog finished her snack and trotted to the hamper, sticking her nose in and grabbing the dog bone she smelt. She ran away from James and Kate and settled by the water, chewing contentedly on the bone.

"She's fierce." Kate observed, sitting down on the blanket.

James made a face, "Who isn't in this damn family?"

He mimicked her position stretching his legs out in front of him and leaning against a tree trunk.

"But seriously…Vincent for a female dog?"

"It's actually short for Vincentina. It was either that or Lady Duchess Texas Anna Banana." James informed her wryly.

"Whose name choice was that?" Kate asked incredulously.

"Well, there are five kids an' one 74 year old woman, you do the math." James grimaced.

"That's hilarious, only you would have a family like this." Kate commented in between gasps of laughter.

James narrowed his eyes at her, it was so good to see her laughing so freely, he had forgotten the sound over the years. He had also wondered if he'd ever hear it again and been unsure if he had ever heard it all.

"Yeah well, laugh it up Sweetcheeks, I'm just gonna eat all this food here while you're at it."

"Okay, I'm done! May I have whatever it is we're having on this unwanted picnic? Preferably not dog food!" Kate joked, biting her lip to stop from laughing.

James took out a paper plate, he un-wrapped the cold chicken he'd taken out of the pantry refrigerator and broke off half the baguette he'd thrown in the hamper. He leaned forward and handed her the plate, smiling at her as she watched him lick the crumbs of his fingers.

He also pulled out a container with Kool-Aid in it, arching his eyebrow at her when she snorted with laughter. He poured some in a plastic cup for her then pulling out his own plate nodded for her to eat.

**An Hour Later**

They lay there in the dappled sun, lethargic and content, enjoying each other's company in the amiable silence.

"I'm still a little fuzzy on the details but I remember what happened to us after Michael led us to Them." Kate said conversationally.

James stiffened slightly, sitting up to look at her, his eyes searched hers suspiciously.

Kate smiled at him a little sadly.

"They put hoods over our heads and drugged us. When I woke up I was in some kind of locker room. They had taken my blood and made me shower before they made me wear a dress." Kate said softly watching James' face for a reaction.

"Ben their leader told me they wanted me to feel clean and like a lady because the next two weeks were going to be _'very unpleasant'_."

James' expression didn't change; he merely stared at her mutely, his eyes never leaving hers.

"After… after they brought me to where they were keeping you, in the abandoned polar bear cages you sketched, they made us work in some kind of prison yard. Told us we would get the electric shock therapy if we talked, touched or did anything they didn't like. Our… warden was called Pickett, and he really hated you. He zapped you to punish us both. And then later on when he wasn't looking, you came up to me and kissed me right in front of all those people."

"Sounds right up my_ alley_." James quipped in a gravelly voice.

Kate kicked his foot playfully.

"You got your ass kicked for it." She said smartly.

"Yeah that sounds 'bout right too." James smirked.

"You call Ali Shortcake. You called me that once." Kate said after a long silence.

"Did I?"

"Yeah, it's one of the things that really triggered my memory… that and the medication cold turkey detox."

"No shit."

"Yeah shit, and I look rough enough to prove it."

"Still look good to me, Freckles."

Kate smiled at him, blushing a little at the compliment, she ran her hands through her hair, making a face as she encountered knots and tangles. If Jack could see her now he would run away screaming. For some reason the thought of scaring him by her unkempt condition appealed to her.

"I don't remember much yet but it's a start. What do you think happened to us? Why would we all have amnesia? When Michael sold us out it was only you, me and Jack. Why doesn't anyone else remember? What happened in the interim? The screams I dream of, the needles, the pain, that I see flashes of even when I'm awake, and the noise of different things overlapping, what could we have gone through that was so traumatic it was so repressed?" Kate asked James, her voice hitching when she spoke of remembered pain.

James' face reflected her fear and confusion but for different reasons; he knew everything that had happened and he didn't know how to tell her. Was unsure it was even the right thing to do. If he told her things now when she was so fragile would it help or hinder her recovery? Would she ever remember what they'd had? The children she'd borne?

While James was lost in thought, Kate crawled over to him, sitting next to him shoulder to shoulder she let her body lean into his slightly; looked up at him wondering what he was thinking. There was something that was bothering her but she was just too tired to pinpoint it; she was going to close her eyes for a few seconds and then she'd try harder to remember. Within seconds she was fast asleep, shivering as her nightmarish dreams welcomed her back into their menacing arms.

James looked at the dark head using his shoulder for a cushion and ran a shaky hand through the tangled tresses. He looked up and around the trees, his eyes taking in the river, the stable, the carport he'd built, and the plantation house in the background. His past had collided with his present and his future, her presence here sent chills of foreboding down his spine. She was strong but not invincible because they had broken her in the end. He wasn't a psychologist; he didn't have the faintest idea how to handle this situation. Besides she had chosen to abandon him and their children for some reason, could he forgive her that betrayal?

Vincent trotted over to them, whining softly she licked James then licked Kate's cheek, tail wagging.

"She's pretty damn beautiful, ain't she girl?" James commented to the dog.

Vincent looked up at James with her big brown eyes before she walked around Kate's legs. Snuggling up against her the dog sniffed the sleeping woman and Kate reflexively put her arm around it, still fast asleep.

James' heartbeat skipped a beat, and he shook his head as he felt himself helplessly falling under her spell all over again. 'No not all over again, this is worse, much worse. She looks at you like she thinks she can depend on you.' James thought grimly. Sighing to himself he leaned his head back against the tree trunk and let himself drift to sleep too.

**A few hours later**

Kate woke up with a start, her mind taking a few minutes to reconcile where she was with where she had been in her sleep. At some point her head had ended up on James' left thigh; she sat up from her position on James' lap. And stared at the snoozing Southerner, frowned as she remembered what had been bothering her before she fell asleep and what she had seen while she was dreaming.

"You always gotta stare at me when I'm sleepin'?" James whispered groggily, as he woke up. His eyes caressed her warmly.

Kate drew back scooting backwards on the heels of her hands she searched for the container of Kool-Aid drinking the entire contents down quickly. When she was finished she wiped her mouth with her arm, glaring at James.

"You knew about the bear cages because they were in your sketch-book and you didn't say anything to me." Kate accused.

"Hold on now-"

"You know what I was dreaming about just now? _You_! With blood on your face, yelling something at me. You told me you had nothing to apologize for, I was in the cage and you weren't. You walked away from me and left me there, with _Them_." Kate spat at him, horror and contempt making her voice hiss.

James stared at her in surprise, then confusion then hurt, getting to his feet he dusted the seat of his jeans while he tried to think of a suitable response. Muttering to himself he met her stormy green eyes.

"Think your head's screwed, I'd never do that to you." He said testily.

"What makes you so sure? It's not like _you remember_ anything is it?" Kate demanded, getting to her feet she placed her hands on her hips and waited for his answer.

"What makes me so- Forget it." James said in frustrated anger, he was fighting hard to reign in his rapidly mounting temper.

"James, why did you sketch the bear cages from the Island if you don't remember anything?"

"When Ben spoke to you after your shower, what did he say Kate?"

"What are you talking about, I don't remember the details I told you that already!"

"Yeah, well I don't believe you Sweetheart. There's somethin' you ain't tellin' me, I can feel it."

"I told you everything. Unlike you, I'm not pretending not to remember what happened! What haven't you told me?!"

"You're yellin' a little too loud there Baby, you sure there ain't nothin' there for you to feel bad about?"

"You implying I have something to feel guilty about? Right now, to be honest with you James I don't know what I'm feeling. Fear, pain, anger, the urge to rip your stubborn head off your neck and use it as a football and yes there's some guilt."

"I knew it."

"Guilt that I'm pouring pills down the toilet, lying to my boyfriend and therapist who've never done anything to deserve my distrust while I run off to Texas to hang around with a moody two-faced_ jerk_ like you because-"

"It's good that you feel guilty. Classic Kate-isms happen when _you_ feel guilty." James interrupted her speech hotly, his anger at her accusation chased by a twinge of his own remorse fueling him.

"What the hell is _that _supposed to mean?" Kate spat, offended and hurt by his tone.

"I don't have any illusions about bein' a hero or any of that Jackass-Knight-in-Shinin'-Armor shit you love so much. It _means_ I would never leave you in their hands Kate! I'm a conman, I con my way out things. The runner here is _you_."

Kate punched him as hard as she could. She smiled in cold satisfaction when his head snapped back before he regained his balance.

"You think _I_ would have left you in captivity just because we slept together?" Kate demanded softly, waiting for James' reaction to the last part.

"Ah so you _remember_ that too now do you?" His response was surprising and disappointing to say the least.

"Yes, I see you knew that all along, so why don't you just _answer the question_!"

"_No_. How's that for an answer?"

"What?"

"No, you wouldn't leave me because of that. You'd do it because of Jack."

"You're a real piece of work." Kate said with disgust.

"Two way street Freckles."

"Out of _everyone_ you have the least to complain about, you got off the Island and went on to have a family and a dream house in the country, but you're still angry, and twisted inside. Any normal person would have _let it go_ by now. Then you wonder why on earth I would choose Jack over you any day."

"You're not with Jack now Baby. You flew all the way to Texas to show me you prefer his company to mine."

"I must have still been high and crazy."

"That's right, blame it on the drugs you stopped takin'."

Kate shoved him as hard as she could, grunting in frustration when he took her down with him as he fell. They rolled around on the ground, Vincent barking excitedly around them before she ran off towards the house.

Kate smiled in satisfaction when she managed to pin James to the floor, tightening her grip on his torso with her powerful thighs, she held his arms high above his head and glowered at him. James laughed in her face, amused by the fact that she had unconsciously given him the upper hand in their argument by resorting to being physical.

Kate released his left hand, grabbing his jaw painfully she kissed him fiercely. Relaxing her hold at some point she cupped his face as she moaned softly into his mouth; their tongues met and clashed. James let her dominate the kiss, his hands running up her ribcage and tangling in her hair as they contradicted their angry words to each other with gentle lingering kisses.

Kate felt a hot growing pressure against the in-seam of her jeans and then pulled away from James in horror. Her lips reluctantly clinging to his for an extra second after the rest of her body had broken the kiss. James pushed her off him and dragged a ragged hand across his lips to wipe the physical memory of what they had just shared.

"Munchkins are back; keep that poisonous tongue of yours in your head. I won't have you screechin' at me like a banshee in front of them." James warned, getting to his feet.

Kate stared up at him with tears in her eyes; blinking them away she got to her feet and started to gather their things. Silently, they headed back towards the house, James ignoring her completely when they got to the back porch and Tristan came running out jumping happily into his father's arms.

"I WIN! I found him first! Come on Papa! I have to show you what I made in Garden School today!"

"Alright son, let's go." James laughed, his face automatically lighting up as he spoke to his youngest.

Kate noticed this with a pained look on her face, holding the hamper and blanket awkwardly she waited for the father and son duo to precede her. Her mind was racing all over the place as she tried to sift through the memory overload. 'How much is he not telling me?'

"Come on Kate you have to see it too!" Tristan called out to her.

James turned around in the doorway with the little boy in his arms, and looked at her expectantly.

"Yeah come on Kate, ladies first." James mocked her challengingly.

Smiling at the precocious little boy, Kate pulled her shoulders back and climbed the steps, ignoring James as she by-passed them in the doorway. She didn't see the small smile of admiration that crossed James' lips.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Don't forget to feed the writer! And have a great weekend!! xxDulce**_

_**Lyrics are from Linkin Park's song "Numb"**_


	9. Chapter 9 Disarm

Hey y'all **thank you so much** for the reviews, you guys are the best! And as usual all the props go out to my** Bestest Beta Bud.**

I'll let y'all in on a little secret. I've spent many an hour driving myself and others to near madness the last few days with the recent spate of spoilers! Suffice it to say that I've decided to really get into the nitty gritty of these two's relationship while advancing the plot as of **Chapter 10** which I won't be able to write until after I've seen this week's episode.

**Chapter 9 - Disarm**

Kate punched the pillow in a fit of frustration, she couldn't get comfortable and it was driving her crazy.

Sighing angrily she flipped on her back and glared at the canopy roof of her bed. The sounds of laughter as the kids ran around in the hallway aggravating their father who was trying to get them to sleep weren't helping either.

Pulling a pillow over her head she screamed into it, kicking her legs in a real temper tantrum.

"Why's Kate sleepin' so early Papa? Is she sick?" David asked his father, his dark blue eyes searching his father's face.

"Yeah DC she's kinda sick. She needs to get some rest so y'all gotta quit wailin' and get into bed." James warned them, as he ushered the wayward children into their bedroom.

Ali already in her Mulan pajamas was jumping up and down on her bed then leaping onto Tristan's while her brother jumped onto hers.

"Look at us Papa! Tree an' I are like Trapeasy artists!" Ali exclaimed as she leapt back onto her bed and together with Tristan they bounced over onto his bed.

"Ali, Tristan, quit it, you'll fall an' bust your heads open!" James called out as he held onto a fidgeting David who was trying to avoid the thorough rubdown James was giving his wet hair.

"No!" Ali yelled as she hopped onto David's bed, jumping up and down with wild abandon. Tristan gave his father an apologetic shrug and followed his sister's lead, leaping onto Drew's bed and they continued their unified gymnastic act.

"Hey stupid get off my bed!" Drew protested when Ali started jumping on his bed, he came in from Mel's room at a run.

James caught him by the collar with one hand while he still held onto David who had tried to use the confusion to escape.

"Not so fast!" James chided with a grim smile.

"Ha ha, I'm jumpin' on your bed an' there's nothin' you can do about it!" Ali taunted Drew, her cheeks flushed as her pigtail braids bounced in the air.

"Ali I said that's enough. You've proven your point now stop it 'fore I spank you." James warned as he held on tenaciously to the two wriggling boys.

Tristan, recognizing his father's tone, stopped jumping and climbed off the bed to go and sit on his own bed.

Ali who was preparing to make a scene lost her footing and falling sideways banged her head on the foot of the bed. Sitting up as soon as she felt the impact of her fall she automatically brought her hand up to her ear and rubbed it frantically, tears forming in her large hazel eyes.

Tristan and Drew instantaneously went to their sister, one child patting her shoulder while the other one looked for blood. They were both shushing her in order to prevent their father lecturing her.

James keeping an eagle eye on the trio knelt and turned David to face him. The little boy smiled at his father mischievously and James smiled right back at him; he was the only one of the children with freckles and James rubbed at them vigorously eliciting a laughing protest from the little boy.

"Okay, Fords you've got to the count of three to get into your beds! One! Two! Three!" James called out as Melanie and Vivienne stepped into the room. The children all scampered into their beds, burrowing under the covers they looked at the three adults with expectation.

Vivienne who had changed into black silk pajamas and a matching robe approached the four beds and pulled the rocking chair next to Tristan's bed which was on the end.

"Kiss Mel and Papa goodnight kids, I've got an extra special bedtime story for y'all tonight."

"Which one Nana?" Ali enquired in a slightly subdued voice, there were still unshed tears in her eyes but otherwise she seemed fine.

James leaned down and kissed them all goodnight; lingering to plant a soft kiss on Ali's injured ear she hugged her father fiercely, not taking her eyes off her great-grandmother.

"I am going to tell you about the legend of Melusine I haven't told you that one yet, have I darlings?"

"No." The children breathed unanimously.

Melanie went over to kiss and hug the children as James made to leave the room.

"Why isn't Kate kissin' us goodnight Papa?" Tristan called out to his father.

James turned to look at the four upturned faces that resembled their mother's to varying degrees. James nervously brought his thumb up to his forehead and rubbed away at a non-existent frown.

"She's sleepin' already Tree you want me to go wake her up?"

"Yes." Tristan answered bluntly.

"Uh-"

"Babylove I'm an old bag o' bones you going to shave a year off my life by keeping me up longer because you want to terrorize your Daddy an' that poor sleeping woman?" Vivienne interrupted, staring at her great-grandson sternly.

"No Nana! I want you to live forever!" Tristan protested, his green eyes widening with fear.

"Yeah Nana, we all do!" Chimed the triplets, clambering out of their beds they snuggled into Tristan's to be closer to their great-grandmother.

"Okay then so no more talk of waking people up. The story about the green-eyed enchantress that left her children, drove her husband crazy and spawned many kings isn't going to tell itself." Viv said her tone brooking no further discussion.

Mel got into bed with the children, seating Tristan on her lap; the triplets pushed and shoved each other vying for a comfortable position too. James looked at his children one last time and left the room, closing the door silently behind him. He winced inwardly at Viv's story choice; but he didn't dare say anything to the battle-ax.

**A few hours later**

Kate sighed in agitation. The rest of the house had gone quiet; she'd heard Viv and Mel laughing softly as they had gone to bed. And she had noted that James after Tristan's question that she had heard clearly through the walls; must have disappeared to his own bedroom. Kate frowned into the dark wondering why she even cared that James had sounded oddly devastated by his son's innocent question.

'Why do I care about him and his storybook life?' Kate asked herself irritably. She had her own incredibly screwed up and unhappy life to worry about. Thankfully the physical effects of the withdrawal she'd been going through appeared to be finally over.

She could positively identify and remember most of the things that had happened up until the day she had argued about feeling guilty with James. The rest was a jumble interspersed with screams and the images of needles and tubes. Kate brought her hands up to cover her eyes but there was no escape from the unnerving hum of the mixed up pictures and sounds chugging through her brain like an express train. She gritted her teeth and let out a sharp cry of pain. Tears trickled down her face silently, she didn't know if she could bear this or if the memories that lay just out of her reach were going to be worth it. James was holding out on her and she didn't know if she should be here trusting him as much as she was; when she couldn't trust Jack or Juliet.

She saw her door push open silently and sat up in bed, fear making her heart race she wiped at her eyes quickly. James shut the door behind him, and approached the bed where Kate watched him warily. Peeking through the wispy canopy curtains he saw her green eyes gleaming in the moonlight. She visibly relaxed when she saw him drag a chair over to the side of the bed.

She watched him with interest when he sat down in the chair and looked up at her with a sympathetic look on his face. 'Oh how the roles have reversed!' Kate thought sarcastically.

"You left the dinner table like the hounds of hell were after you." James said at last.

"Who says they weren't." Kate replied evasively.

James made a face and brought his hand up to rest on the coverlet, staring at the appendage that was a mere inch from Kate's thigh. She squirmed slightly; turning over onto her side so she was facing him she used one hand to draw the cover up to her chest while she propped her head up with her left hand.

They stared at each other in the semi-darkness, neither one of them willing to break the silence in fear of what would come out next.

"You know one thing about you and me? We don't have to talk. You always seem to know exactly what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. Sometimes even before I do." Kate observed.

"I hear you Freckles. But it would be nice if you just said it anyway sometimes." James said finally.

Kate tilted her head a little to look at him before she looked away; then sighing looked back at him.

"I feel awkward around them… like I'm on an invisible trial for a crime I don't know about and I'm in the witness stands trying to plead not guilty even though I am not sure if I am or not but they can see right through me."

"That's a mighty weird way to feel 'round a few four year olds." James remarked.

"Welcome to my world." Kate half-joked.

James didn't say anything; Kate relinquished her hold on the coverlet and brought her right hand down to intertwine with his.

"When I am here I feel scared but safe and welcome all at the same time."

James looked at their interlinked fingers and brought his expressive blue eyes up to meet hers. Their mutual contact was stirring embers that were still smoldering from earlier on. Kate smiled at him in silent understanding.

"So we had sex."

"Yep."

"Good to see we got all that sexual tension out of the way then." Kate dead-panned

James let out a snort of amusement, "Yep."

"How do you think things ended between us? Why do you think things ended?"

"Well seeing that you live with Jack-o now, things between you an' me must've ended real peachy, Peaches."

"Very funny Cowboy."

"I probably did somethin' stupid. Like refuse to let you call me Jack or shave my head an' cry like a girl." James finished off with a smirk.

"There is nothing wrong with being in touch with your feminine side!"

"Only way Jackass could be more in touch with his feminine side is if he started bleedin' every month." James snorted derisively.

Kate squeezed his hand as hard as she could.

"So Aunt Cassidy huh? Have you two been together long?" Kate asked archly. She smiled evilly at the death of James' snide grin; now that she had turned the tables.

"Hmm… Drew's got a big mouth, is that what you two were talkin' 'bout earlier?"

"He's sweet and talkative, but somehow a little more reserved than the other three." Kate defended the boy.

"Yeah that's my first born a master at disguising his own feelings… at such a young age too." James said with a combination of pride and concern.

"So how did they end up in the same kindergarten? Isn't Tristan younger than the triplets?" Kate asked conversationally.

"Yeah he is, but he's my little genius… I didn't want him to be left behind when the other three went to school so Viv an' I came up with somethin' to make sure they developed 'round the same age. Hell there's only 9 months between 'em anyway." James explained.

"Wow I'm surprised she let you anywhere near her so soon after you had three in one sitting. You know triplets run in my family? Do they run in yours?"

"Not triplets, my great-grandmother had quads an' she was a twin." James said a little irritably.

"Hmm, so it could have been worse. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off… so what did you come up with?" Kate asked a little sheepishly.

"Activities. Kept them out of trouble, an' helped stimulate their brains from an early age. Stuff like swimmin', fishin', games, arts an' crafts, not talkin' baby talk… It was exactly what they needed. Doctors recommend folks do that for kids with Downs an' all."

"You were worried he had Downs Syndrome?"

'No I was worried that they all had gotten brain damage when the sky turned purple.' James thought to himself.

"Hey, I'm a father, I worry 'bout everythin'." James shrugged defensively.

Kate ran a hand through her hair, not letting go of their intertwined hands she edged closer to him.

"I'm jealous."

"What the hell for?"

"Well… I chose Jack thinking I'd have this amazing and glamorous life with him. And the one that I turned down is the one with the things I never even realized I wanted so badly."

"What makes you think you turned me down? Maybe fate intervened an' we never got the chance to fall apart." James argued matter-of-factly.

"Maybe… or maybe you lied to me like you're doing now. You knew we slept together, you remembered the bear cages and how we left Jack behind with Them and you didn't say anything to me." Kate pressed an unspoken question in her voice.

He was silent for a long time and she wondered if he would make her beg him to tell her what he knew had happened to them. Now that she remembered it, she could not accept that they had just had the one day in the cages and that had been it. Neither could she accept that they would have just left Jack with the Others and not gone back to get him.

"I don't owe you any explanations an' if you feel like you can't trust me or that I have some kind of ulterior motive. Whatcha still doin' here?"

"Is that how it's going to be?" Kate asked in mounting anger.

"I have sketches of the bear cages 'cause Viv said it would help to put the things that were hauntin' me on paper. An' I certainly can't write poetry or anythin' like it to save my life." James revealed grudgingly.

He hated the gratitude in her eyes for his disclosure, and he turned his face away from hers slightly, studying their hands.

"I wonder why Juliet never suggested _I_ draw some of the things I kept seeing." Kate mused out-loud.

"What's that now?"

"Juliet, as in Dr. Juliet Burke; she's my therapist, she suggested a diary but that's not a lot of help because everything is so mixed up. I wonder why she never thought of sketching."

James was silent but Kate could feel a violent anger radiating off him in waves.

"You know her before she started… treatin' you?"

"No. It's actually weird but when Jack first took me to her, I was so scared of her. Yet by the end of our first session I felt like I had known her forever and she was a friendly familiar face."

"You tell her 'bout me?" James asked

"Yes. I told her about my attraction to you in the boardroom in New York and I told her I saw you again last week."

"You tell her where I was?"

"Texas. Why are you so interested in what I told Juliet?"

"Is she blonde with blue eyes? Speak with a soft voice?" James pressed anxiously.

"Yes. Do you know her?"

"You'd _never_ seen her before the rescue?" James asked her.

"No. Why?"

James didn't know what to think. She remembered the bear cages, Pickett, their escape and she couldn't remember Juliet? And what the hell was a fertility doctor doing pretending to be a therapist?

"Do me a favor. Don't tell her anythin' 'bout me or mine in your couch sessions." James said grimly.

"Why? What's going on? What happened between you and Juliet?"

"What happens between me an' most women Kate?" James asked sarcastically.

"She was a mark of yours." Kate concluded.

James didn't deny it, smiling at her tightly, he tried to pull his hand out of hers; Kate held on refusing to let him. He saw the disapproval in her eyes but he also saw something he had never seen before, acceptance.

"Okay we won't talk about it. Why don't you tell me what else you remember?"

"You want to tell me what else _you_ remember?" James threw back at her.

Her green eyes which were identical to Tristan's; widened with hurt and she looked away from him still holding on to him. She finally forced herself to meet his eyes again and she saw that the intimacy they had shared earlier was gone, the same old walls were up and secure in his blue eyes. She was tired, her head was starting to ache and there were too many things she just was not sure of that were niggling at the back of her brain.

Kate smiled at him like he was naïve, "We don't _need_ a _chance_ to tear each other apart James. Just one look will do it."

James cocked an eyebrow at her, "Is that a fact?"

Kate tugged his hand and holding it to her chest burrowed into the covers, suddenly feeling the up until this moment elusive sleep making her eyelids very heavy.

"Yes it is." She said with a drowsy smile.

James looked down at her head with a fatigued smirk.

"Now shut up. And stay with me until I fall asleep." Kate ordered him, not even bothering to open her eyes.

James grunted in weak protest but found himself edging closer to the bed in order to relieve his arm a little. He brought a shaking hand up to run through her hair as she sighed softly.

'This woman is goin' to be the death of me.' James thought to himself with resignation.


	10. Chapter 10 Shattered

**First off, y'all are superstars for consistently reviewing and making me smile, and persevere with this fic. You have no idea how much your input, feedback and overall encouragement motivate me to work THAT much harder on delivering the goods in the best quality I can. Thank you!**

**Beta Bud is the BESTEST, she read this chapter when she should have been sleeping because she knew if she didn't I wouldn't be able to update until her return the following week. This all moot now because I have been unable to update for almost two weeks, therefore there are a few more chapters in the mix. **

**KT you rock! If you prefer this site, you'll be pleased to know I'm sure that it's now available here again. Although I did reply to your review on the LOST Diaries too.**

**Onwards and upwards to the fic, I hope this chapter serves its purpose because it's pivotal in the story. I've worked on it for so long I am no longer sure if it is in character so if you think it isn't or it sucks please let me know, and MEA CULPA!**

**Chapter 10**** – Shattered**

She dreamt of herself running in the jungle, the sound of pursuit not too close but near enough to have her breath hitch in fear. Then all of a sudden she was lying on a gurney gasping for breath as she held someone's hand. It had felt like a VW beetle was trying to rip itself out of her body as she pushed with all her might. At one point Kate had screamed in pain and frustration and then something passed between her legs as someone congratulated her. She had turned to look at the owner of the hand that had been supporting her with an exhausted but relieved smile on her face.

"We did it." She whispered.

Kate woke up with a start, sitting up in the bed with a racing heart she gripped her abdomen and looked at it in surprise. Patting it for reassurance she noted she most certainly was not in the process of giving birth. She lay back with a relieved sigh. And her foggy mind went back in an attempt to remember what she had seen in her dreams.

'There is no way you had a baby on that Island… that is just too ridiculous. You would never have forgotten that.' Kate thought to herself.

Grimacing she pushed the covers off her and looked at the now vacant chair James had sat in until she fell asleep. Sighing she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, studying her reflection in the natural light that was seeping through the small window.

She still had shadows under her eyes but they were lighter than they had been the day before. Her face seemed to have regained a little more color but her eyes were still a little bloodshot and her hair looked like it had had better years.

Washing her face with cold water, Kate decided to go downstairs and get herself something to drink.

When she shuffled into the kitchen she was surprised to see James standing at the stove boiling coffee.

"Morning."

"Mornin'." James grunted.

He was wearing blue cotton pajama bottoms and nothing else; Kate's breath caught in her throat as she studied him appreciatively.

Kate gingerly sat down at the kitchen table, she could feel a massive headache bearing down on her mercilessly. She watched with narrowed eyes as James poured the coffee into two mugs. Turning around he approached her and set one down in front of her, before going back to turn off the stove.

Kate lifted the mug of steaming liquid and brought it to her lips, blowing on the surface a little before taking a cautious gulp.

She belatedly brought her hand up to stop the scalding liquid from spewing all over the kitchen table. James guffawed with laughter.

"This is liquid tar." Kate accused.

"This is Texas Peaches, the Sun is merciless an' the world don't wait for nobody. You're gonna need it to face the day." James said, still chuckling as he sipped his drink.

"I don't need to face the day."

"Yeah you do. I've gotta drive in to work today an' you're gonna be enjoyin' Viv's company."

"Alone?"

"You betcha!" James said cheerfully.

The look of horror on Kate's face was priceless and he smirked into his mug as he drained it.

Kate took a deep breath and took another sip of the coffee, making a face she took a bigger sip then cradling the mug in her hands brought her legs up and rested her chin on her knees as she watched James set the table with four plastic bowls.

"You're not going to try and feed them oatmeal again are you?"

"Nah, I thought I'd try fruit today." James replied as he disappeared into the pantry.

When he came back out, he was holding a large platter of freshly cut fruit and he set it on the table. Kate raised an eyebrow and opened her mouth to ask him when he'd found the time to slice fruit and de-seed the watermelon at six thirty in the morning.

"Tropical fruit and no kiwi?" Kate teased.

James pointed at the drawing stuck on the kitchen door of a half cut kiwi with a big red cross on it.

"All four munchkins are very allergic to kiwi, would go into anaphylactic shock."

Kate's frowned in surprise.

"Wayne…my…father had the same allergy. It's very rare."

James ran a hand nervously through his hair, "Yeah, pediatrician thinks it might be hereditary."

Kate opened her mouth to ask but was interrupted, much to James' relief.

"Mornin' Papa! Mornin' Kate!" Tristan exclaimed as he ran into the kitchen, still in his pajamas.

"Mornin' son."

"Good morning Tristan."

He climbed onto his father's lap and kissed his father on the cheek before turning to Kate with his dancing green eyes and holding out his arms for Kate to kiss him.

Kate hesitated; unsure of herself she set the mug down and leaned forward to offer her cheek which Tristan kissed happily. She drew back, and picked up her mug again; avoiding James' eyes she sipped her coffee in silence.

James took note of her behavior and turned to his son who was already pulling at the cling film wrapped around the platter.

"Mornin' Papa! Mornin' Kate!" Chimed the triplets as they ran into the kitchen and all started jostling for a foothold in order to get on their father's lap too.

"Alright, careful now, David watch out for your sister!" James warned as he handed Tristan to Kate in order to greet the other children.

Kate set her mug down hurriedly and grabbed the green-eyed little boy who was grinning at her. Kate looked into his eyes that were the exact same shade and shape as her own and found herself smiling back at him as she lowered her legs and sat him on her lap.

The other three kids had all kissed their father and were now pulling at the platter in excitement.

James slammed his hand on the table startling everyone, "Nobody's eatin' nothin' til y'all brush your teeth and wash your faces."

All four children started to whine in protest but one stern look from their father shut them up as the climbed off his lap and headed solemnly back upstairs. Tristan wriggled off Kate's lap and joined his siblings as they started to run in a competition to see who would get upstairs first.

James sighed and looked at Kate with a chagrined smile, "The day's just begun."

Kate chuckled softly, her mind preoccupied with the feelings holding Tristan in her arms had evoked.

**One Hour Later**

"Are you still sick Kate?" Ali enquired with curiosity as she picked her Mulan backpack, and proceeded to shoulder it.

"Yes. I am." Kate managed.

Her presence during the entire morning ritual of breakfast had been very upsetting for some reason, she couldn't help but feel that the more time she spent around these children the more uncomfortable she felt. To compound her feelings, the boys had gone out into the backyard and picked some flowers, presenting them as a muddy, slightly squashed bouquet to her.

The little girl with the hazel eyes and cute upturned nose approached Kate and put a hand on her leg as she studied Kate's face.

"Yeah, you don't look too good. You should get Papa to let you help him make some cornbread like he does with us." Ali said with a seriousness that was endearing from one so young.

The boys who were running around the kitchen in some sort of game had stopped and were listening attentively to the exchange.

"I-I don't think your father has time for that." Kate said finally.

Her feet were itching like they had been dipped in poison ivy with the need to run.

"Papa! Kate's still sick. You're gonna help her get better right?" Ali demanded of her father who was silently watching mother and daughter.

"Of course I will Shortcake, now get a move on, I hear Viv honkin' out front."

Ali patted Kate's leg reassuringly and gave Kate an encouraging smile, "See! Papa will help you an' you'll feel all better. I promise."

"Yeah Kate, Papa is jeanoowus!" Tristan added from his position by the threshold his brothers had already run through.

"Okay." Kate said at a loss for words.

This seemed to satisfy Ali as she ran up to her father and hugged his legs quickly before she followed in her brothers' footsteps and ran out of the kitchen heading towards the irate honking coming from her great-grandmothers truck.

James shrugged at Kate's retreating back as she left the kitchen too.

He found her on the porch, watching the kids pile into the back of the truck with Mel before they drove off with a wave and a chorus of goodbyes.

Her heart was thudding painfully in her chest as she wondered about her dream last night. Now that she had had more time to think about it she realized it wasn't the first time in the last few years that she had had that dream or something similar. Could it really be a memory? And if it was what had happened to that child? Would he or she have looked like Tristan or Ali? What about David with his freckles? They all had dark hair so technically any one of them could look like the child she may or may not have lost.

"I don't like kids." Kate said at last. She knew James was watching her, doubtlessly confused by her shallow breathing and the tears in her eyes.

"Neither do I." James replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, right. They have you wrapped around their little fingers!"

"I said I don't like kids, I never said I don't like mine."

Kate rolled her eyes and after one last look at the settling dust in the driveway turned to face James.

"I don't like kids yet I have this weird feeling that I may have…"

"May have what?" James pressed when Kate didn't finish the sentence.

"Nothing… it's just too crazy. What I suspect is impossible." Kate said with a shake of her head. She brought a hand up to her hair and ran a hand through the tangled tresses.

"What do you suspect?" James pressed forcefully, stepping into her personal space.

"That I may have had a baby when we were on the Island." Kate blurted out; she searched his eyes to see what he thought of that.

"What makes you think that?" James asked softly.

Kate stepped away from him, bringing her arms up she crossed them on her chest as a protective gesture.

"I have these recurring dreams that are kind of nightmares, where I'm giving birth. Weird huh?"

"Just a tad." James quipped.

"When Jack and I were trying to have a baby, we were both checked out and I can tell you that I most definitely never had a baby according to the medical charts. So I guess that just leaves option B; I'm crazy." Kate explained.

James didn't know what to say, it looked to him like the Others had managed to infiltrate every aspect of Kate's life even off the Island.

"I don't know what to say." James said finally.

"I've been sneaking around lately. Using fake ID, paying only in cash, called in sick at work all week. As far as anyone knows I got on a plane to Iowa when I came here." Kate said with a shrug.

"What are you doin' that for?" James asked in surprise.

"I don't know."

"Why are you tellin' me all this?"

"I don't know."

There was a long uncomfortable silence.

Kate cracked a smile; looking up at James furtively she approached him and looked into his troubled blue eyes.

"I feel like we should start making out now."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know… just a random thought." Kate said with a coy shrug. Why were they both pretending; when they both knew she was talking about their first time in the cages.

"How 'bout I teach you how to make cornbread instead?"

"My idea would be more fun." Kate countered.

"Yeah well, this is my show, I still gotta go to work an' I say get in the kitchen woman." James ordered her in mock-seriousness as he steered her towards the house.

**A Few Hours Later**

Kate had decided to take a nap in an attempt to get rid of her headache. After James had shown her how to make cornbread he had disappeared to shower and dress for work. He had left shortly after and Kate had retreated to her bedroom, falling into a dreamless sleep almost as soon as her head had hit the pillow.

The blare of the trumpet scared her awake like nothing had in years. Jack-knifing up in the bed she rubbed her eyes and squinted blearily at the figure standing by her bed.

"Vivienne!"

The older woman continued to blast the tune of Reveille with a glint in her dark brown eyes. Kate brought her hands up to her head to try and block the sound out, rolling out of the bed and stumbling slightly.

Viv who was wearing; sneakers, jeans, a grey t-shirt and unbuttoned blue and white plaid shirt on top, rolled up her sleeves and finished the bugle call. When she was done she threw the trumpet on the bed and set her hands on hips.

"Well?"

Kate didn't know what to say, bringing her hands down she wiped her already sweating palms down on the pajama bottoms she was wearing.

"Girl, you must have mistaken this for a spa. Laying about and sleeping til noon! Do I look like your fancy doctor boyfriend?

"No ma'am."

"Do I look like that good for nothing surly grandson of mine?"

"No."

"So then we're clear that I ain't going to put up with your nonsense. Get in the shower, I ain't got all day."

With that she threw a towel at Kate and marched out of the bedroom.

Kate stared at the trumpet that was gleaming in her tangled sheets still a little dazed from the bizarre wakeup call.

"I don't hear no water running!" Viv called out from outside the door.

Kate rolled her eyes, and hurried into the bathroom to do as she had been told.

Stepping out of the shower, Kate had found a pair of faded blue jeans, a white tank top and a striped white t-shirt lying on the bed. She didn't hesitate to put the clothes on, afraid the tiny harridan would come barging in and dress her herself if she delayed.

Walking out into the hallway Kate followed the sounds of voices she heard downstairs, pausing to look at the portraits of the children on the wall. She noticed there was a few other faces she didn't recognize; one particularly striking black and white photograph of a petite woman with her hair in soft waves and wearing a poodle skirt as she smiled seductively at the camera. She gasped as she realized it was the elegant feisty 5 foot tall woman with the silver hair downstairs.

Stopping at a group photo of Viv, the four children and Mel sitting on her truck Kate frowned at the image, something about the picture was making her heart thud painfully in her chest. Turning away she hurried down the stairs and into a room she'd never been before; the study.

There were two tall ladders positioned against the wall of leather-bound books and Mel was standing on one of them wearing overalls and red kerchief in her hair. She had a medium sized feather duster in her hand and she was dusting the voluminous leather tomes.

Viv handed Kate a matching duster and raised her eyebrows expectantly as Kate stared mutely at the object.

"Those books ain't going to dust themselves, get cracking!"

With that Viv resumed her seat on a small wooden stool, picking up her glass of iced-tea and taking a sip before she resumed thumbing through a fashion magazine.

Kate looked at Mel who was watching her with interest and shrugging headed for the other ladder. Bracing a foot on the first rung she risked a glance back at Viv who had stopped thumbing through the magazine to watch Kate.

"Now I want you to start on the far left side and work your way across to the middle, you and Mel will work backwards and meet again at the middle, and so forth until you get to the bottom. I want good meticulous dusting here, I have no tolerance for half-assed work." Viv instructed.

Kate did as she was told, wondering what else the domineering woman would have in store for her after they were done. Watching Mel, she followed the teenager's suit and proceeded to dust the top shelf, she had some catching up to do.

"I noticed you got the shakes, and were sweating like a pedophile in a playground. Must've been a serious addiction you're fighting. I'm guessing pills, you don't look like the alcohol type." Viv said breaking the silence.

Kate risked a glance over her shoulder at the older woman, and biting her lip blinked her eyes in agreement, an unspoken question in her eyes. Viv smiled at Kate knowingly; the smile was exactly the same as James'.

"I know a thing or two about pills and liquor, spent a quality two decades in and out of Starlite, Meadows, Promises and Betty Ford. If you feel like you're gonna pass out, make sure you get off that ladder, won't have you breaking your neck on my watch." Viv volunteered.

Kate's eyes widened in surprise, and she quickly turned to continue dusting when Viv gestured for her to get on with her task.

"Should have gotten a discount, seeing as I single-handedly kept those bastards in business." Viv groused.

Kate didn't dare say anything, as she processed the ramifications of this disclosure; she finally understood why James seemed to have turned out the way he had after his parents died. His grandmother had been too busy wrestling her own demons to be any help to him.

"When I was enjoying the dubious hospitality of the Meadows and Betty Ford they used to get us to do some hard manual labor. None of these glorified spas they have nowadays, hmpf. Judging from your manicure I know which one you would be going to… if you weren't so cheap." Viv continued.

Kate turned around with indignation, her green eyes flashing.

"Cheap?"

"Yes, cheap. Coming here and dumping all your problems on us. Getting pampered hand and foot while you make my grandson run after you-"

"I didn't-"

"You leave my table again before I say you can leave and you better make sure you got yourself a getaway horse. I won't have any of your fugitive behaviors exhibited in front of my babies. Contrary to popular opinion, here in the South we're civilized folk and we've got manners."

Kate opened her mouth to try and defend herself but Mel gave her a warning shake of her head.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be… missed a mighty fine chocolate cream pie." Viv sniffed.

The younger women continued with their task for another half hour, when they were done, Vivienne pushed a tray with a pitcher of her homemade iced mint tea and two glasses in their direction. Getting up from her stool she disappeared and returned a few minutes later with two buckets filled with soapy water and a squeegee pole under each armpit. Kate who had been silently studying the portrait pictures of the triplets and Tristan with Vincent that was sitting on the French polished desk; choked on her tea in surprise.

"When you're done these windows girls, I would like the pictures in the parlor dusted, there's a layer of dust that would make my mother-in-law turn in her grave. That doesn't bother me half as much as the racket she makes doing it." Viv ordered.

Kate saw Mel finish her ice tea and pick up a bucket, taking a squeegee pole she marched towards one of the two floor to ceiling windows that occupied one wall. Downing hers equally quickly Kate looked at her manicured hands with a grimace and picked up a bucket and accepting the squeegee Viv thrust at her, went to start on the other window.

**An Hour Later**

Having finished the windows in the study, Kate and Mel were dusting the pictures in the parlor and Viv was nowhere to be seen. She had gone in to the kitchen, muttering something about making lunch for "Mel and Her Majesty."

"Why aren't you in school today?" Kate whispered at Mel.

The teenager turned to look at Kate and smirked, was that a Ford patent?

"I called in sick." Mel replied with a shrug. She was polishing the picture of Ali in her Native Indian garb.

"Why? You don't look sick to me." Kate whispered.

"Ford was worried you'd keel over an' die alone here with Grandma." Mel volunteered cheerfully.

"Is she always-"

"Am I always what?" Viv demanded as she strode in purposefully.

Mel found the look of fear on Kate's face hysterical, collapsing into a fit of laughter.

"Are you always so scary." Kate said with a courage she was far from feeling.

"Hmpf. I'm nice enough to make you some lunch and you start to get sassy with me." Viv remarked.

Kate shook her head in denial, holding out her hands in order to plead her case.

"Get in the kitchen, food's going to get cold."

Kate didn't waste any time doing as she was told, and she heard Mel gently scold her grandmother as she followed suit.

When they were done eating, Viv shooed them out of the kitchen stating, "Those wooden floors ain't going to polish themselves."

A half hour later as the two women polished the wooden floor in the parlor, Viv who was watching them with an eagle eye and yelling directions every now and then started to sing a song as she inspected the now dust-free photographs on the wall.

Kate didn't recognize it but Mel did and she joined in with her grandmother, lending her beautiful voice to Viv's, the two women sang a Broadway show-tune Kate didn't recognize.

At some point Viv had relieved Mel and was kneeling next to Kate polishing the floor with a strength and vigor that put Kate's to shame. Finally, Kate worked up the courage to ask if they knew the lyrics to "On the Sunny Side of the Street".

"Of course we do. Why?" Viv replied.

"It's a song my Mom used to love; she sang it all the time."

"Never a fan of Judy Garland myself, she lacked spirit." Viv commented but started to sing the song anyway.

When they had finished singing Kate sat up, looking at the gleaming pictures on the wall she started to cry. Mel watched her with a horrified look on her face as with a signal from Viv she resumed her place next to Kate on the floor. Viv got up slowly, careful not to strain her joints too much and stood over Kate with her hands on her hips.

"Wipe those tears Kate, I ain't got time for them."

Kate wiped her eyes frantically, biting her lip as a fresh wave sprang up in her tormented green eyes. A look passed between Mel and Viv as they both noticed how much she reminded them of Tristan when he cried.

"If I wanted to start crying for all the things I've lost or shouldn't have done the entire South would be under water. Stop that this instant, Mel, we're going to leave you here for a while, Kate stand up we're going outside." Viv ordered.

There was no argument as everyone did as they were told. Once they had stepped out onto the back porch, Viv lead the way past the stables and out onto the sprawling land that formed part of the plantation.

Sitting down on the grass, Viv studied Kate's blank and drained face.

"What's your angle girl?"

"Excuse me?"

"What are your intentions? Why are you here? Wouldn't your doctor boyfriend and the people that know and love you in New York be your first port of call if you're in trouble?" Viv asked with genuine curiosity.

Kate smiled bitterly, and feeling a small flicker of anger held on to it, using it as a shield from the pain of Viv's words.

"I'm here because your grandson can help me. I don't know how but he can help me regain the memories I've lost, and because there are no people that love me in New York or anywhere for that matter. If you know about Jack then you know he's not my boyfriend so please stop referring to-"

"You sleep in the same bed with him, live in the same house and have sex with him. He's your boyfriend." Viv interrupted matter-of-factly.

Kate turned when she heard someone approaching and saw it was Mel and Vincentina. The teenager was holding a large quilt; which she spread out and indicated for them to all sit on. The dog licked Kate's hand before she settled on the quilt, attentively watching the three very different women.

"Fine whatever he's my boyfriend. The crash ruined my life and I have to believe that I can get it back." Kate replied in belated response.

"That plane crash was the best damn thing that could have happened to this family. It's a gift and a curse but we Fords only thrive when our freedom of choice to screw up our own damn lives is threatened. Ain't that right Mel?"

"Yes Grandma."

"Mel here gave birth to a stillborn baby at fifteen, thought she'd never recover but here she is. Since my youngest son lost his damn mind and killed his wife and then himself, I've been in and out of rehab for over 20 years."

Kate stared at the two generations of Ford women in shock; she had no idea what to say.

"Point is; your trunk of issues ain't nothin' to write home about. You need a place to come and nurse your wounds; we got a whole lot of space and land for you to do just that. Only thing is we don't allow self-pity and this ain't no free ride, everyone pitches in."

Viv finished off, staring at Kate intently.

Kate nodded almost immediately, too moved by the older woman's gesture to say anything, it was taking every ounce of her willpower not to cry. Viv patted her knee and gesturing to Mel let the teen help her up, leaving Kate there they headed back to the house.

Kate with Vincentina in tow returned to the house wearily trudging up to her room. She needed the industrial strength $100 a bottle hand cream she kept in her handbag to try and repair her destroyed manicure. Going right back down the stairs again she heard James' voice in the kitchen.

"Went home with Clem today, seein' as Mel's here." James was saying to Viv when Kate entered the kitchen.

Viv and James were seated at the kitchen table drinking iced tea while Mel washed her hands in the sink.

"Hi, when did you get back?" Kate asked James tentatively.

She didn't know if Viv and Mel had told him about what had happened earlier and she was unsure how to act.

"Just now. I see Viv's been workin' you hard, parlor floor's mighty shiny." James grinned mischievously.

Kate smiled at this, her eyes falling on Viv's she saw the unspoken confirmation that their conversation earlier hadn't been discussed and she relaxed a little.

"I've got the cracked and peeling hands to show for it, luckily I've got a miracle moisturizer." Kate said with a wave of her hands in his direction.

Setting her handbag on the kitchen table, Kate emptied the contents distractedly as she listened to James and Mel argue about Mel's body lotion again. Setting the pill bottles on the kitchen table, Kate ducked her head in search for the elusive hand cream. She didn't notice Viv arch an eyebrow and pick up the nearest bottle.

"Ain't no wonder you're acting like a crackhead." Viv said with a low whistle as she stood up and read all the bottles.

"I'm sorry?" Kate asked in confusion.

Viv rattled the pill bottles in her hand, "You can call me something of a meds expert… these pills will turn your brain inside out. Do you have trouble remembering things other than what happened on the Island? Blackouts?"

James and Mel stopped talking, waiting with bated breaths for Kate's answer.

"How did you know?"

Viv turned to fix an unyielding glare on James.

"You know someone's been using her brain as a punching bag, boy?"

"What's that?" James was taken aback by the judgment in her tone.

Viv tore her eyes off James and looked at Kate, her brown eyes were spitting fire, "These pills are a very powerful cocktail designed to make sure you never know which way is up let alone go back to normal again."

Kate's face drained of all color as the meaning behind Viv's words sank in.

"Mel get your laptop. How could anyone prescribe you these… together?"

Kate was at a loss for words, looking up at James for help, he approached her, his expression torn. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought anything more of the medication she was taking.

When Mel ran back into the room her laptop already on, she handed it to Viv who setting it on the table gestured for James to enter the different prescriptions online. A few minutes later the pattern that emerged had everybody looking grim.

"Memory loss… anterograde amnesia… confusion… agitation… blackouts." Kate whispered in mounting panic.

James eyes searched her face and he was not disappointed by the emotions displayed there.

She was horrified, even moreso as her mind flashed back to; Juliet pointing a gun at her in the yard. James telling her she would have shot her dead without hesitation, then Juliet asking her to put the woven hood on before she took her to see Jack. She also remembered Juliet pointing a gun at James and how she had run down the beach screaming. The blonde woman she had seen almost daily for a year after the crash, the woman she had trusted was the same woman who had handcuffed herself to Kate and led her to believe they were in the same boat while she hid another agenda.

Viv fixed a disapproving glare on James.

"You not gonna say something, boy?"

James eyed Viv nervously, his temper flaring. He was blindsided by this latest development and wasn't sure how to react.

"What you want me to say? There's nothin' to say."

"I think there's plenty _you_ could say." Viv pushed.

"Leave it Viv." James warned with a growl.

Kate lost in her own swirling thoughts picked up on the undercurrent running between grandmother and grandson and whipped her head around to stare at them.

"Leave what?" Kate asked.

"Nothin'." James muttered.

"I don't think it's nothing. In fact it's very far from nothing. This is wrong and unfair and you know it. These drugs aren't a joke, I can't sanction this." Viv said calmly, there was anger seething underneath the surface and it was clear for everyone to see.

"Stay out of this, Viv." James threatened, his blue eyes flashing dangerously.

Vivienne Lee Ford's face softened sadly; reaching out a hand to her grandson she stroked his tensed right arm gently.

"I am solely to blame that you grew up without parents. After all I introduced Frank Cooper to your mother. It's my fault you are so guarded and so scared." Viv spoke in a brokenhearted tone.

"Shutup Vivienne." James ground out, pulling his arm away.

Kate looked at Mel who was standing by the kitchen sink, an unhappy expression on her face. She had no idea what was going on but something told her this wasn't a small piece of family dirty laundry being aired. Everything was going too fast, with the warning bells ringing in her head she felt a strong of wave of vertigo wash over her.

"I can't stand by and watch everyone suffer like this. Boy you're too closely involved in this to see straight and I never made a promise to anyone not to tell. I owe it to this family to do everything I can to keep it together. Nothing is more important than family." Viv explained determinedly, she looked up at Kate regretfully.

"What's going on?" Kate asked fearfully. She looked to James for an answer but he refused to look up at her, glaring at his grandmother murderously.

"Vivienne, I've _never _asked you-" James pleaded.

"I'm sorry love this isn't about you. Forgive my grandson; he's as stubborn as I am… the four children you're so uncomfortable around? The ones whose pictures you keep staring at in confusion? They're yours." Viv said, talking over him.

Kate recoiled in shock, she couldn't have heard right, could she? Once again she stared at James expectantly and this time he raised his tortured blue eyes to meet hers. As she looked into the sapphire depths the precipice she'd felt like she had been standing on for the last week crumbled beneath her feet and she hurtled head first into the awaiting chasm. The rare kiwi allergy; the coloring of the children's hair, and its texture, the comment about them being four years old that hadn't made sense, the strange vibe she got off James when she interacted with the children. His reluctance for her to meet them in the first place, her dreams about being in labor, it all fell into place.

James stood up slowly, approaching her as she brought trembling hands up to her head and shook her head in denial. When he placed his hands on her shoulders she shook him off and functioning on auto-pilot ran out the kitchen door and out of the house.

James gave chase, cursing Vivienne and himself for the current mess they were in. The look of betrayal and appalled realization on Kate's face was something he knew he would carry with him to the grave. How had the day gone from good to irreparably bad?

She ran like the devil was chasing her, brushing branches out of her face she left the trees and barn behind, running parallel to the water. Despite the gravity of the situation, James found himself absentmindedly admiring her lithe figure dressed in Mel's clothes as she vaulted over rocks and sparse shrubs that dotted the bank. When she veered to a sharp left and headed for the open field James swore under his breath, if anything she seemed to be gaining steam.

With a burst of speed James launched himself at Kate, tackling her painfully they fell to the ground in a sickening skid through the grass. Kate's palms scraped painfully on the loose rocks underneath and she whipped around beating James' back with her flailing fists.

"GET OFF ME!" Kate screeched.

James ducking from the blows pulled away but kept his legs pressed down on hers to stop her from kicking him. Bracing himself he let her fists pummel his chest and shoulder repeatedly. The sound of her keening wails lacerating his heart.

Kate thought back to the countless therapy sessions where she had unwittingly fraternized with the enemy, all the dinners, sleepovers and vacations she'd had with Juliet, counting the blonde doctor as not only her therapist but her best friend. Then she remembered the first time they had slept together in the cages, the pain and the relief when she had given birth, James leaving her behind in those very same cages at some later date.

Kate screamed and screamed, sobbing her heart out.

"You betrayed me. Everyone always betrays me! You sold me out. You left me with them and they raped my brain! Which means they raped _me_ you sonofabitch!"

James rolled off her and stared at her with trepidation, her words were a condemnation of his choice and he felt powerless under the crushing weight of his guilt and horror. Kate was trembling like a hare caught in headlights but her eyes were ablaze with fury.

"You were right, you haven't changed much. You're still a liar and you're still scum." Kate spat at him.

She was rocking herself slightly, her bloodied hands were gripping her arms painfully as she knelt in the grass.

"I'm still your BabyDaddy four times over,_ Kate_." James said in a shaky voice. Her words had found their mark, clear and true.

"You're nothing. _Nothing_!" Kate screamed, launching herself at him.

This time he fought her off and they rolled around in the grass as she kicked, scratched, spat at and bit him. Flinging her off him, James staggered to his feet, leaning against a solitary Dogwood tree trunk for support as he watched her warily. She got up and shoved him hard against the tree.

"_You're nothing_! Do you hear me!?? _Nothing_!"

"Kate-" James said in a ragged voice.

They were both breathing heavy from the exertion and the bark of the tree wasn't gentle against James' back either. Kate slapped him as hard as she could, bringing her hand up to rake her nails down his cheek, James caught her hand in a bruising grip. His blue eyes were glittering dangerously and he curled his lips back, baring his teeth in warning. Kate felt a small tremor of fear but quashed it as she was pulled inexorably closer.

"Nothing. In your language that means, _you ain't shit_." Kate said with a snarl.

James drew her up against his chest and leaned down to shut her up; Kate met him halfway, slamming her lips against his brutally. Their tongues clashed like two armies at the launch of an attack, neither one of them gave an inch. She dug her hands in his hair and gripped his hair roughly, tugging at it as leverage to dominate the kiss. James brought his hands up and gripping her shoulders in an unforgiving hold he dragged her closer to him, their bodies pressed tightly against each other. Kate moaned into his mouth from the contact, giving him the advantage he was looking for, his tongue slid in past hers and stroked the roof her mouth provocatively. Kate's tongue snaked around his and she sucked on it so forcefully the pleasure was painful. James drew back a little and whispered against her lips.

"I ain't shit without you Baby."

She responded by wrenching away from him but he dragged her back. Balancing on the balls of her feet she relaxed her neck muscles and then head-butted him as hard as she could. James' head rocked back as he hissed in pain. Kate lunged at him, wrapping one arm around his neck and steadying herself with one hand on the tree trunk; she kissed him deeply. James' hands rested on her waist as he steadied them both. Her hands traveled down his torso and she frantically unbuckled his belt then unbuttoned his jeans never breaking the kiss. James responded in kind, unzipping her jeans he pushed them down and leaning against the tree trunk he pulled her up, she wrapped her legs around him. And looking into his eyes held on to her anger as he penetrated her. They both let out a sharp gasp in surprise at the fact that they were both more than ready and at the sensations the initial contact was generating.

They started to move together in furious tandem, neither one of them noticing when they ended up on the grass, they ground and thrust against each other at a furious pace. Much to Kate's frustration, they climaxed together hurtling over the edge of ecstasy.

When the aftershocks of her earth-shattering orgasm had worn off, Kate shoved James off her and pulled her jeans back up; tugging on the zipper she rose unsteadily, using the tree trunk for support. She met his eyes, their blue depths reflecting her own distaste at what had just transpired between them. Dusting herself off she wiped the tears that streaked her face and stood there waiting for him to get up. When he rose, pulling his jeans up and retrieving his belt they walked back to the house together in seething silence.

Kate let the door slam in James' face as she ran into the kitchen, picking up the note waiting for them she read it with a sinking heart. The last thing she wanted right now was to be stuck here alone with him. James walked to the table and sitting down heavily; caught the note that told them Mel and Viv had gone to get the kids and take them out to dinner, when Kate crumpled it into a ball and threw it at him. She ran her hands through her hair and studied her bloodied palms with a curious detachment.

They remained frozen like that for what seemed like a lifetime, and then with a sigh of defeat, Kate sat down at the table across from him. She clasped her raw hands together on the surface and glared at him. The depth of her enmity and distrust knew no limits as she watched him watch her with that dangerous glint in his eye.

James returned her glare with an equal intensity. How could she just sit there as cool as a cucumber after what had just happened out there? How dare she judge him as if she was some kind of Saint?

James cursed volubly under his breath. The gentle camaraderie and natural attraction between them that had been growing into something positive for once, was completely gone.

"Well ain't this just like old times." He said sarcastically.

Kate didn't reply, but it was clear that an ocean of antipathy had opened up between them.

**Y'all know what to do…f****eed me! I need your reviews!**


	11. Ch 11 Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

**This chapter was wholly inspired by the John Mayer song which is amazing.**

**Thanks always and forever to Beta Bud and all my supporters, even the ones that just lurk!**

**Chapter 11**** – Slow Dancing in a Burning Room**

The atmosphere crackled under the miasma of their mutual animosity and the ever present sexual tension which danced like live wires in a storm underneath the façade. They sat like that for a quarter of an hour; silently daring each other to speak or move or just generally concede defeat in their undeclared battle of wills.

James could see the wheels in her head turning as she withdrew inside herself, probably going over every real and imagined perpetuation of his betrayal and deceit. When her eyes softened slightly with the threat of tears not far behind, he knew she had won. Rising from the table he left the kitchen, Kate watched him go, observing that his shirt was completely shredded from its encounter with the tree; she flushed slightly in memory of what had happened out there. A few minutes later, he returned, wordlessly depositing four photo albums in front of Kate and with a dismissive shrug went to get them both a beer.

She stared at the tasteful cream and silver books arranged in alphabetical order with trepidation, her palms clammy with the fear of seeing pictures of the fruit she had not known her loins had borne. When James sat back down across from her sliding her a bottle of beer, Kate's eyes met his. For a second the barriers were down but before James could say anything Kate flipped the first book open, her eyes following the movement she forgot all about James as she stared at pictures of her first born.

James felt like an intruder in his own house as he watched Kate's trembling hands turn the pages. He couldn't help himself as he stared at her blank normally expressive face as she took in the years she had missed. He didn't need to look at the pictures because he had painstakingly chosen every single one in anticipation of the possibility that by some miracle she would turn up with all her memories in tact and want to see her children. The irony of the current situation wasn't lost on him.

When she got to the end of Tristan's album which was naturally the last one; Kate sighed in disgust slamming the book shut with finality.

"I've seen enough." Her voice and eyes were frostier than the windswept tundras of Siberia.

"Freckles-"

"There is _nothing_ that you have to say that I could possibly care to hear." Kate said with a harsh laugh before she downed her heretofore forgotten beer.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she slid the bottle away from her and studied the cover of the closed albums. She refused to look at him, afraid of what she would see there. She did not want his pity; the last thing she could stand to see was his pity. James shrugged the oppressive weight of his remorse and tried to reach out to her again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Kate. It just wouldn't be fair on you or anyone seeing as you have no recollection of any of it."

"I think hell just froze over, James Lee Ford apologized for something." Kate said with a bitter twist of her lips, she still refused to meet his eyes, acting like she found the stubble on his chin incredibly fascinating.

"Funny."

"_Don't_ apologize to me like you haven't seen me suffer in ignorance all this time. Even when I saw you at the reunion and the meds combined with the alcohol were doing that amazing number we all read about earlier… you belittled my feelings. So don't you dare talk to me about fair James. You _stole_ my kids from me and left me at the mercy of murderers!" Kate yelled at him, her eyes were burning hatred into his now.

She was leaning forward and across the table as James remained in an intentionally relaxed slouch in his seat.

"How was I to know they'd keep you drugged an' under their control after we were rescued?"

"How could you take the chance?"

"Wasn't my chance to take! Let me ask you somethin', when were rescued, where did they find you an' who were you with?" James shot back at her. One hand rested on his thigh where it was clenched into a white-knuckled fist.

"I don't remember." Kate said crossly.

"Yes you do."

"I don't-"

"Don't you sit there an' throw accusations at me like you're some sorta paragon while you lie to me!"

"I was in the jungle, asleep or knocked out I'm not sure but Jack was there next to me." Kate supplied ungraciously.

"Ahh." James said in a knowing tone.

"So _that's_ what this is about? _Jack?_ You let me live in hell all these years because I was found with Jack?!" Kate yelled, slamming her hands on the table as she leaned in towards him.

"You don't believe that, not really." James said matter-of-factly.

"I don't know what to believe. But looking at the cold hard facts it's clear to me that you have been playing me like you did on the Island with the guns." Kate said in a deceptively quiet voice.

She pushed herself away from the table as she realized that she was one step away from touching him. Standing at a safer distance she glared at him with ill-disguised loathing.

"Your memory is sketchy at best, what makes you so sure everythin' happened the way you think it did?" James asked her in a matching tone, his blue eyes watching her coldly.

"You're not trying to suggest that you're the victim here are you?"

"I'm just sayin' that the truth ain't always black an' white Sassafras."

"So you're denying that you've known all along I was their mother. Or that we obviously lived together at least until after Tristan was born? My memory may be _sketchy_ but that night I stayed over last week, I'm pretty sure you said something about how you _had_ to let me go? That was _me_ you were talking about right?" Kate challenged.

James stood up and took a step in her direction; Kate moved from her position and met him head on, neither one backing down until they were so close they were almost touching.

"Yeah that was you an' no I'm not suggestin' I didn't know."

"You looked into their eyes every day. Tristan, whose eyes are exactly like mine! You tucked them into bed every night and not once did you ever give a second thought to the woman who gave birth to them! _Anything_ could have happened to me, I could have been dead."

"But you're not, you're right here standin' in my kitchen an' condemnin' me like I'm some kind of-"

"Monster? That's what you _are_." Kate cut him off callously.

She took a step away from him, never taking her eyes off his face as she sidled towards the door. His eyes burned with resentment and opening his mouth to say something else he took a step towards her. Grabbing her upper arm he wrenched her towards him, Kate struggled with everything she had but when he managed to wrap his arms around her, she stopped fighting. Panting from the exertion, she kept her green eyes on his Adam's apple, her hands moving up of their own volition to cling to his shirt front. James slid his hands up her shoulders to tangle into her hair, he tugged on the tresses, forcing her to look at him.

"We're not done." James whispered in a voice like molasses.

Kate looked into his eyes and replied in kind, "No we're not."

The look they shared could have scorched the Amazon; desire burning so strong it was like a separate entity, took control. Melding his lips to hers, James groaned into mouth as she opened her lips and let his tongue in. A moment later he drew back sharply in pain, she'd clamped down hard with her front teeth.

"_Jesus!_" James brought a hand up to his mouth, alarmed by the gleam of satisfaction in her eyes.

"I can't _stand_ the thought of what you've done and I will _never_ forgive or forget this. If I could go back in time, I'd kill myself the day I met you." Kate's voice was positively vibrating with the strength of her feelings.

James looked like she had hit him in the face with a sledgehammer.

"Tell me _why_ you kept this from me. Why you _never_ tried to find me."

"What good is the reasonin' an' the words of a monster an' a liar?" James asked her harshly.

"Great answer James."

"Lemme ask you somethin'… of all the things you learned today, _that's_ what you're stuck on?"

"What?"

"Hmm…you're runnin' again, you might still be standin' here but you're runnin' all the same." James observed, the anger seeping out of him.

"I'm not." Kate protested, slightly confused by the swift turn of the conversation.

"So, we've established I'm the bad guy, so where does that leave you? Or Juliet? Or Saint Jack?" James demanded more than a little smugly.

"Nice try, you think I don't see what you're doing here? I _remember_ you leaving me with _Them_. It's no wonder I blocked it out… damnit James _I had children_! _With you_! Every word that's come out of your mouth since we met on that Island has been a lie." Kate yelled, shaking her head at his stubbornness to see the heart of the matter.

"I'm gettin' real tired of this misdirected anger _Kate_. If I had told you 'bout them in California, or in that boardroom or when you came here, _what difference would it have made?_ Do you even remember what they looked like when they were born? Do you remember holdin' them…or breastfeedin'? _Anythin'_?"

Tears welled up in Kate's eyes, "No. And you know I don't."

"I _don't_ know that. This mornin' you were tellin' me you don't like kids. Yesterday you said you felt like you were on trial… 'Scuse me for thinkin' Viv's reveal wasn't as surprisin' as you'd like to make yourself believe."

Kate's brow creased in a frown, she didn't like where he was going with this.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm sayin' that maybe you don't want to remember them or any of it, 'cause then you have to face the facts that _you_ made a choice that don't look too good in the harsh light of day."

"I don't know what you're talking about, and it doesn't make any sense, what would I be doing here if that was true? Don't try and turn this around on me…_you _betrayed me!" Kate said defensively, her eyes flashing in warning.

"Any betrayal on my part Sweetheart is only in response to yours." James hissed.

"What?"

"What did Ben say to you before they brought you to the cages? Why were your wrists raw? You've been handcuffed many times before and you know better than tryin' to take 'em off without a key." James pushed.

"What did Ben say to _you_ after Pickett beat you up?" Kate threw back at him, her body language stiff and unyielding she had backed away as James advanced on her. Now she was leaning against the counter-top and there was nowhere else to go.

"I asked first." James said with a smirk. His eyes were unrelenting as they dared Kate to answer his question.

Kate swallowed convulsively, her eyes wildly searching for an escape route that didn't involve touching the Southerner. Looking back at him, she felt the urge to hurt him as much as his deception had hurt her.

"He told me to do what they wanted and they would let you go." She watched him closely to see if the truth had hurt him to hear it as much as it hurt her to say it.

"An' you believed him." James asked, disappointed.

"I answered your question, now answer mine. What did Ben say to you?"

"Told me to stay put an' they wouldn't hurt you." James said softly, Kate's capitulation had shaken him. He knew how much admitting that must have cost "Her Frostiness" and he also recognized the manipulation for what it was. They had been playing this game from the moment she took his gun from him five years ago.

Kate stopped holding herself away from him and closing the small gap between them, brought her arms around his torso and rested her palms flat on his back. Leaning into him she nestled her head under his chin, and held on tight. At a loss, James hugged her back and stared at his reflection in the kitchen window.

"How much do you remember James?" Kate whispered.

"All of it."

"So why won't you tell me?"

"You already know."

"I don't."

"You do, you just don't want to face it yet. 'Sides my memories are useless to you as they have little to do with you."

Kate held on tighter, her heart beating so fast she worried it would burst. Oddly enough the hot pressure of James' erection against her belly was comforting.

"When we… While we were in the middle of… outside, I remembered us having sex by the waterfall. There was no anger in it then."

"Yeah well, today was a first for us." James informed her ruefully.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

Kate pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, they were glowing with a guarded resignation.

"So what happens now?"

"You go home an' back to your life an' Jack. Stop chasin' shadows Kate, I think today proved it won't do anybody any good."

"I don't want to go back to Jack."

"You seemed to think he was the love of your life."

"I _wasn't_ in love with him, I just thought I was." Kate argued hotly.

James smiled at her sagely, "If you think you're in love Freckles, you're in love."

"Now that I know the truth you don't want me around anymore." Kate observed.

James stepped away from her and running a hand through his hair, gave her a tight smile.

"I get the impression that you don't trust me and it's not because of what happened today." Kate continued.

"Right back atcha Baby."

"So everything that has been growing between us, what was that?"

"_That's_ what they call a mistake an' an appetite for destruction Peaches. I've had more than my share so no thanks."

"Just like that? I find out you have my kids, which you took from me, and that there are people who have been working hard to make sure I never remember having them who you have probably been colluding with. And all I get is a no thanks, I can't help you, I don't care to help you, now go back to your sham life?" Kate yelled at him.

"Sounds 'bout right." James said through gritted teeth.

Kate's punched him as hard as she could; grabbing his collar she let out a guttural scream in his face. James tangled his fingers in her hair and wrapping the strands around his hand, tugged on them forcefully, pulling her head back at an odd angle. Her neck was exposed and he could see the creamy modest cleavage in the periphery of his vision. The urge to turn her around, shove her on the kitchen table and sink himself into her was winning the battle against his better judgment. Kate's scalp prickled from the pressure and tears sprang up in her eyes as her chest heaved with rage and the never far behind desire. She wanted to hurt him but she also wanted to lick away the small drop of blood on his lip from where she'd socked him.

"There's only two people I've known that I'd classify as rotten to the core. One of them is dead because I blew him up and the other one is standing right in front of me."

"Don't say anythin' you might regret Freckles."

"I haven't and I won't. I mean every word."

"Well I've got some words for you-"

"I've heard enough." Kate said with bitter finality.

They were still in the awkward but intimate position with James leaning against the kitchen table while Kate straddled his left thigh, neck at an odd angle with James' fingers maintaining an increasingly painful grip on her hair. James bent his head as if to kiss her and Kate strained against his hold on her to meet him halfway. At the last second he pulled back and smirked.

"Good to hear. Now get your ass upstairs an' cool yourself off, they're back an' you look an' smell like you've just been screwin' their _monster bad_ Daddy."

He released her abruptly pushing her away from him at the same time; making her lose her balance slightly, she used the kitchen counter as support.

"You're disgusting."

"Guilty as charged." James replied casually, his blue eyes glittering darkly.

Pivoting on her heel she strode towards the parlor to study the pictures on the wall again.

When she felt a tear slide down her cheek she stomped up the stairs and slamming her bedroom door headed for a cold shower. If she didn't cool herself down she was afraid she would either kill James or end up having sex with him again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_A/N: I know I'm posting a few chapters in one sitting here folks, but it will be nice to hear thoughts on them individually too. Thank you!_


	12. Chapter 12 Torn

**Chapter 12 ****– Torn**

James studied the counter-top surface for a moment, at a loss, he hadn't been prepared for things to go the way they had in the last few hours. He was confused enough about Kate's amnesia, her continued attraction to him as well as her reticence with the children especially when contrasted to their general acceptance of her. Vivienne's actions were the only thing that made sense; the woman was so unpredictable that it was the only thing anyone could expect from her.

He had known from the moment he'd laid eyes on her again in that boardroom in New York that he should never have been there in the first place. They were far too volatile around each other. But he hadn't wanted to stay away, he'd needed to see the woman she had become, promising himself that if she appeared happy then he would leave New York and never lay eyes on her again. Satisfied that she was still the same prickly woman she had been when they first met, James had come back home to their children, telling his treacherous heart that everything seemed to have worked out for the best. Until she had started snooping around and he had had to pay the private detective a whole lot of money to only reveal his location to her when she had arrived in Texas at a later date. Now here they were, and James didn't think that he could stomach the angst that seemed to define them. They weren't on the Island anymore, and he wasn't as footloose and fancy free as he used to be. Besides any involvement with Kate meant he would bring down the shadowy but powerful attention of Ben and his Dharma Initiative down on his head, and he had sacrificed too much for that.

"Hmmpf, wool gatherin' instead of coming out to help us." Viv snorted in disgust as she came into the kitchen carrying a sleepy Tristan.

Mel came in behind Viv steering the worn-out children towards the kitchen table while she carried Drew who was fast asleep.

"Good Lord Boy look at the state of you!" Viv remarked with a sharp intake of breath.

"What happened Papa!?" Exclaimed Ali and David, hugging a leg each they looked up at him with saucer-like eyes. Their father's lip was swollen and bleeding slightly while his left eye socket was turning an interesting shade of blue.

James ran a hand through their curls and lifting one up in each arm gingerly kissed them in greeting before setting them down again.

"Tried to ride that damn mare again." James offered in chagrined explanation.

The kids looked up at him in sympathy, patting his leg before they shuffled onto the closest chair leaning sleepily on their elbows. Tristan still in Viv's arms reached out for his father, smiling when James leaned in to kiss his cheek. Viv moved away from James, deciding to sit at the kitchen table next to Ali and David, she set the pretty much sleeping Tristan on her lap and noticing the forgotten albums, eyed her grandson critically.

Mel had disappeared upstairs but she returned, walking up to James she hugged him and whispered discreetly in his ear, "Your shirt's ripped and there's bits of bark stuck to it."

James smiled in thanks and holding onto his cousin tightly for a second pulled away, giving Viv a cheeky grin. Viv harrumphed before she handed Tristan to James and shepherding the children upstairs went to run their baths. James wiggled his eyebrows at Tristan who grinned at his father drowsily.

With Mel bringing up the rear they went to get the children ready for bed.

**Thirty Minutes Later**

After he set a protesting and slightly cranky Drew on his bed with his pajamas on, James mock saluted Viv then he headed to his room to take a much needed shower. The woman's pointed barbs about his dirty condition had become tiresome. He bumped into Kate in the hallway, her hair was wet and pulled back in a severe ponytail, and she was wearing the freshly laundered clothes she had been wearing when she arrived the day before. Silently, James moved to the side, giving Kate leeway to step into the room, watching her from the corner of his eye, he continued on to his room.

"Oh my God Kate! What happened to you?!" Tristan gasped from his reclined position against the pillows. He sat up quickly his green eyes taking in the chafe marks on her neck and the turf burn on her arms and elbows.

Viv who was sitting in the rocking chair next to Tristan's bed while Mel finished drying Ali's damp hair with a towel, smirked.

"Did you try to ride Mary the Mare too?" David asked with a wrinkle of his nose.

"Looks to me like she took on the stallion." Viv remarked archly.

Kate blushed profusely, under the older woman's unrelenting stare.

"Are you feelin' better Kate? Didja make cornbread with Papa?" Drew asked.

"Yes I am and we did… thank you." Kate said a little awkwardly.

"Yeah, Papa's really good Kate, it's like he's magical." Drew said with awe.

The other three children nodded their heads enthusiastically in agreement. Kate bit her lip in discomfort; unable to prevent the dull flush creeping on her cheeks as she felt the two women scrutinizing her.

Mel approached Kate with a storybook in her hands, '_The Stinky Cheeseman and A Hundred Other Stories_'.

"It is bedtime story time; did you want to read to them?" Mel whispered in her husky voice.

Kate was aware of all six pairs of eyes watching her expectantly, reaching out to touch the book she looked at Mel with tears in her eyes.

"No thank you, I'd rather just listen." Kate said softly, her voice trembling slightly.

She retreated towards the door, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed protectively against her chest. The kids sighed collectively in disappointment but otherwise didn't say anything; they studied Kate curiously.

"Sit your ass down, I ain't going to crane my neck for you." Viv snapped her brown eyes flashing as she accepted the book from Mel.

Kate immediately pulled herself away from the wall and looked around the airy room for a seat that wouldn't get her into trouble.

"You can sit with me if you want Kate." Tristan offered as he patted a spot by his bed.

Kate smiled her gratitude and made to approach the bed, before she could sit down Ali opened her mouth to complain.

"No you should sit with me 'cause Tree had Mel an' everyone else on his bed last time!"

Kate looked from one child to the other, unsure how to handle this situation. Tristan folded his arms across his chest and glared at his sister, getting ready to argue then at the last minute he shrugged.

"I'm gonna sit on Grandma's lap." He announced smugly.

Ali crossed her arms mimicking his pose and pouted, her brother had outmaneuvered her, since sitting on Viv's lap was rarely an option it was the ultimate honor.

"Get a move on Kate, we found you a seat." Viv snapped irritably.

Kate did as she was told, sitting down gingerly on Ali's bed as the little girl beamed at her approvingly. As soon as she got comfortable, Ali squirmed onto Kate's lap and smiled up at her again, then stuck her tongue out at Tristan. He watched wistfully, already sitting on Viv's lap, the book in his arms. Kate turned to the right to see Drew and David snuggled up to Mel on David's bed, as she continued to rub their hair down with a towel, they grinned happily at Kate.

"Now which story shall I read y'all? Hmm… I think this one will be most fitting." Viv said to herself as she opened the book to a page and kissing her great-grandson's head started to read.

**30 Minutes Later**

James crept into the room, smiling softly at the sleeping children; he took Tristan from Vivienne and tucked his youngest son into bed. The little boy murmured and seeing his father whispered, "G'night Papa."

"Night son." James whispered back.

He looked over at Kate who was still sitting on Ali's bed with the little girl fast asleep against her breast and his heart cart-wheeled in his chest. Her lashes were lowered concealing her thoughts but the pulse jumping frantically in her throat and the tense set of her shoulders told James she was overwhelmed. He gave Viv a searching look but she was studying Kate with a thoughtful look on her face. Mentally shrugging he walked over to the bed and picked Ali out of Kate's arms. She drew in a sharp breath of protest, before she sidled off the bed, giving James the chance to tuck the little girl in. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, "Goodnight Shortcake."

Ali smiled in her sleep, tucking her hands underneath her cheek; James brushed a stray curl off her face and smiled tenderly at her. His eyes met Kate's which were softening as tears sprang up. His face telegraphed his sympathy and Kate inhaled deeply, the ice creeping back up into her demeanor she swiveled on her heel and stormed out of the room.

Mel had already tucked in the other two boys and remained standing by Drew's bed, watching the fireworks between the couple with interest. James looked at his grandmother for support.

"Can't say I blame her." Viv remarked with a raised eyebrow, she was rocking gently in the chair.

"Don't you start Viv." James growled his mood fouled all over again.

When James arrived downstairs with Viv close behind him, they found Kate sitting at the kitchen table filing her nails, a determined look on her face.

"I need you to make me some better fake ID. And don't try to tell me you don't run scams anymore." Kate said without looking at him.

She blew on her nails and setting the file down, turned her palms up and stared at them with detached interest.

"Kate-"

"I need to protect myself, it's obvious that I can't trust anyone. So just do it James."

James chafed at her tone but didn't want to get into a fight with her in front of Viv even less, so he left the room and went to start working on it. Kate watched him go and rolled her shoulders back, still seated stiffly she risked a glance at Viv who was standing by the kitchen sink.

"Would you like something to eat?" Viv asked quietly.

Tears instantly sprang up in her eyes and Kate choked out a response, "I can't. I've already thrown up twice."

Viv nodded and then turned away, reaching for a glass from one of the cupboards and filled it with some water from the faucet. Walking up to Kate she set the glass in front of her and sat down next to her in silence. Kate drank most of the water quickly and then setting the glass down stared at her hands for a second before she realized that Viv was studying them with fascination and curled her fingers into fists.

Eventually, Viv got up and disappeared into the pantry, bringing some covered dishes into the kitchen she started preparing a snack of some sort. Kate remained seated blinking a couple times as she tried to contain her simmering fear and rage. She picked up the nail file and continued to shape her nails.

When James returned he set down a plastic card with Kate's picture on it, the name read, 'Monica Porter' and the date of birth was one month and 3 days earlier than Kate's actual birthday. It was an Ohio driver's license and it looked authentic enough. He also gave her two printed ticket stubs that had Monica Porter on them and the trip was a return flight from JFK to Des Moines. Kate nodded in acceptance of the proffered articles and slid them into her back pocket; bearing an ironic smile at the name choice. She stood up and risked a glance in his direction before looking away.

"If you wanna make it more convincin', you'll need a passport, a birth certificate, a bank account, bills an' an address." James told her.

"I do and I will need those, I'm all alone in this and I need to have an escape route. I'm takin' your advice and going home, I need answers. Besides, it's clear I'm not going to get any here." Kate said tartly.

She gave him a pointed stare, he looked away guiltily.

"Are you gonna come back?"

"I don't… I can't be around you."

"Didn't answer my question."

Kate rolled her eyes as she headed for the door. James grabbed her arm, stopping her mid-stride.

"It's Viv's 75th next Friday… An' a chance to see the munchkins again after you've had some time to digest all of this." James finished lamely.

She stared at his hand on her arm and then back at him, her eyes shooting daggers.

"Why don't you wait til mornin', I can do more for you by then." James tried again.

Kate looked at Viv who was pretending not to be eavesdropping as she sealed a Tupperware container.

"Boy's making sense, it don't happen often." Viv said without looking up.

Kate eased her arm out his hand as she nodded in acquiescence, she didn't have the guts to go against the older woman.

"Fine. I'm going to bed; unless you've got a lab here_ underneath the same roof as your family_… focus on finding me a trustworthy contact in New York in the meantime." Kate commanded her tone hostile.

She smiled at Viv and mouthed 'Good night' before striding out the door. James looked at Viv helplessly and followed her lead when she sat down at the table.

"There's a lot of hurt and justifiable anger boiling underneath the surface."

"More like _on_ the surface…I'm not interested in soothin' her feelings. Even now, when she's aware they're our kids, she ain't interested in gettin' to know them. All she cares about is herself, so the brainwashin' wasn't a hundred percent successful. That's classic Kate. She knows more than she's lettin' on an' I don't trust her further than I can throw her." James retorted.

"That feeling appears to be mutual." Viv observed.

James shrugged uncomfortably. Viv smiled at her grandson; placing a hand on his forearm she rubbed it gently.

"From the state of your face and her hands y'all did a good job of tearin' each other apart. Whatever attracted you two to each other and gave me four beautiful great-grandchildren is still there. For the babies' sake you're going to need to reach some middle ground." Viv said in that firm but gentle tone she used when she wanted to bend him to her will.

"No, we don't. She's nothin' but trouble Viv, _exactly_ the kind of woman you warned me about. Don't let the pretty face fool you." He said brusquely.

They sat there for a long time; eventually he picked up Viv's hand and kissed it. Getting up he set her hand on the table and stormed out of the kitchen and up to his bedroom. Viv smiled to herself and rose from the table to clear the kitchen.

**Midnight**

Kate pulled her bedroom door open quietly, scanning the hallway quickly she shouldered her bag and let the door shut behind her. Tiptoeing to the living room she opened the balcony windows and shut them behind her. Throwing her bag off the balcony she climbed over the rails and dangling in the air for a few seconds as her legs swung beneath her she held her breath and counted to five. With a deep breath she let go, gasping when she landed on the porch with what sounded like an extraordinarily loud thud. She bit back a scream when Viv stepped out onto the porch, dressed in the same clothes she'd been wearing all day. The petite woman approached Kate with a brown paper bag and handed it to her when Kate accepted the bag, a set of keys fell onto the floorboards.

"Why are you helping me?" Kate whispered urgently as she bent down to pick up the keys.

"I know you were a fugitive but my grandson never told me what for and I never asked. What did you do?" Viv asked quietly.

Kate palmed the keys and stared at Viv in the faint moonlight, she was taken aback by the question and the food and car keys. How had she known Kate would sneak out?

"I blew up the woman-beating drunk I grew up thinking was my stepfather but turned out to be my biological father. And I'm not sorry, I'll never be sorry for that." Kate said in a neutral tone.

Her heart was hammering in her chest as she got ready for the disgust to cloud Vivienne's features. If she had seen it once she had seen it a thousand times, on everyone's face except for Cassidy. She wondered if in all their time together on the Island she had eventually told James. Something told her he wouldn't have judged her either.

Viv shrugged, thinking it was quite telling that a week after they were rescued, when she had been reunited with her grandson, he had still been protective enough of Kate to withhold that information from her. Or that in all the time since, he still hadn't told her saying simply that she had been on the run from the law.

"Leave my truck outside the Texaco Country Club and hop on a bus to the airport from there. Put the keys underneath the right wheel, there's a snug little opening that I can put them in without worrying about them falling out should someone decide to tow the truck 'fore I get it back." Viv instructed.

Kate's eyes widened in surprise but she nodded her understanding all the same.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Viv asked impatiently when Kate remained rooted to the spot.

The brunette sprang into action, nodding her thanks she leaned in and hugged Viv quickly before she turned and ran for the truck.

Viv felt her heart soften for the younger woman and then shaking off the feeling sat in the rocking chair and watched her flight.

"Blew up your Daddy, huh? Yeah, you're going to fit right into this screwed up family." Viv said to the trail of dust Kate left in her wake.

The old woman rocked herself with a small smile playing on her lips; it looked like her stubborn grandson's equilibrium was headed for a soul-shattering shakeup. The boy had become too complacent burying his wants and needs for the sake of the children; it would do him good. The fugitive and the con, Viv's smile grew wider, now that's what she called poetic justice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Press that button and review folks!_** ; )


	13. Chapter 13 Breaking the Habit

**Hey y'all as usual for the reviews? Thank you from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn't for them I would have given up on this fic after last week's episode. It pissed me off that much after I got over the pretty SKex.**

**Shoutout to my Bestest Beta Bud, y'all have no idea how much heart she puts into her beta-ing duties. Diligence is a place where she lives!**

**This is a short one. Chapter 14 will finish off what I've started here, and you won't have to wait a week for it either. Maybe a day? Maximum two!**

**Without further ado… **

**Chapter 13 – Breaking the Habit**

Kate slipped the envelope into a mailbox before she headed for the exit at JFK airport. She trailed a slightly trembling hand down her summer dress and wondered for the umpteenth time what had possessed her to burn the clothes and boots she'd been wearing in Texas. 'You are becoming more paranoid than a crack-head… oh wait, you kind of are one.' She thought to herself derisively.

A chill snaked down her arms as she remembered the things she had learned the day before about her medication. Carefully, she navigated around the crater-sized hole that was the revelation of the identity of the four Ford children's mother. She couldn't afford to think about that right now, it had the frightening effect of making her want to go catatonic or turn into the Incredible Hulk and do some serious damage.

Hailing a cab she directed the driver to take her to the apartment, her nose wrinkled in distaste as she realized the place reminded her of a mausoleum. Kate shuddered in the warm weather as she fought of the sense of foreboding that came over her. Tapping her nails on the window she thought about her fitful sleep on the plane and the memories that had come with it. A teenage girl on the plane had been chatting with her friends about some woman called Nadia, and Kate had been distracted by the distant echo the name resounded. It wasn't until she had leaned forward to see the picture the teen was holding that the penny had dropped.

_"Nadia Comaneci, she is the greatest gymnast ever. I can't believe we're gonna meet her!"_ The teen had exclaimed.

The flash of memory had been so blinding Kate couldn't remember what she had seen, but she had fallen back in pain. Soon after she'd fallen asleep and dreamt of the mission she had gone on with Sayid, Locke and Rousseau to get Jack back. The plane had landed just as Kate had relived the moment Jack had caught the football some Other who's name escaped her, had thrown at him. Much to her irritation, her mind seemed unwilling or unable to fill in the rest of the blanks when she was awake.

Kate stopped tapping the window and told the driver to stop the cab, the traffic was so congested now that they were downtown. Paying him, she got out and decided to walk the remaining ten blocks to the apartment. Greeting the concierge she headed up in the elevator, bracing herself when she got to the front door. To say she was relieved to find the place empty would have been an understatement. Carefully pulling out the food Viv had packed for her, Kate put it on a plate and reheated it in the microwave.

"Cornbread I made with James, black eyed peas and Southern fried chicken salad… how the hell do those people stay so slim?!?" Kate said to herself as she sat down at the sleek black dining room table and tucked in. By the time she was done she had thanked Viv silently over five times. The food was delicious and it seemed to not only fill up the hole in her stomach but also the one that seemed to be gaping in her chest where her heart should be. Tears sprang up in her eyes but the phone rang before she had a chance to indulge them.

Deciding to let the machine get it, Kate washed her plate and cutlery as well as the Tupperware that had housed the food. Soaking the brown paper bag, she fed it into the garburator, uncaring if it would clog the machine. This was about disposing of any evidence that might link her disappearance to Texas.

"Katherine, its Juliet. You missed our appointment this morning and I have been trying to reach you all week. Call me back please, I'm worried about you." Juliet's dulcet tones fretted on the machine.

Kate gripped the edge of the sink as a wave of rage washed over her, gritting her teeth she brought her elbows to rest on the sink and clasped her head in her hands. Gasping for air she turned the faucet off and marched into the bedroom. She drew to a shuddering halt when she spied the white bag that contained her prescription sitting on the bed. Snatching it off the bed she grunted in anger, Jack had obviously picked it up for her on his way home this morning. She tossed the bag in the waste-basket and went to take a shower, needing to drown her tears under the punishing spray of hot water, she felt like a block of ice.

**A few hours later**

Laura watched a black Armani-suit clad Kate stride out of the elevator in awe; Polly from upstairs had IMed her the news that the 'Ice Maiden' had just tried to hand in her resignation. The Big Boss had turned it down, ordering her to take a sabbatical instead. Some form of argument had ensued and the whole office had heard Kate lose her cool for the second time in her history at Securicare in as many months.

Laura's hazel brown eyes widened in alarm when she saw Kate change her direction and head straight towards her, the brunette's face was flushed in anger. She quickly IMed Polly the update and tried to find something to do in order to dissuade Kate from engaging her in conversation.

"Do you have a minute?" Kate demanded impatiently.

"Uhh… actually, I'm… yeah I do." Laura stammered as she typed Polly a play by play of the conversation.

"Great, I just wanted to know if anyone came here looking for me over the last couple of days?" Kate asked, her face softening a little as she tried to charm the younger woman.

"Uhh… I don't think so. Jack came in this morning but I don't know about anyone else." Laura replied, blushing when Kate leaned over the desk and saw her MSN Messenger window open.

"No one else?" Kate asked dryly, finding herself strangely unaffected by the obvious office gossip fodder she was providing by merely speaking to Laura.

Laura shut down her MSN Messenger and fidgeted slightly, shaking her head as her eyes drifted to the visitor log-book.

Kate smiled with amusement and reached over for the book, Laura slapped her hand on the cover and pushed it away from Kate.

"_Botox_ was here a couple times!" Laura exclaimed in a hushed whisper.

Kate drew her hand back and watched the younger woman with renewed interest, something was going on here.

Laura stood up with the book firmly clasped in her hands and she stepped away from her desk and Kate.

"Sorry, I meant your_ best friend forever_ Dr. Juliet Burke." Laura said with an unapologetic shrug.

Kate tilted her head and observed Laura's retreating figure as she headed for the security control room. Shrugging, she straightened her jacket and walked out of the building, veering around the corner, she headed for the bar across the street. Finding a dark corner she ordered a Cosmopolitan and waited; she had hung out with Laura in the early days but Juliet had put a subtle but effective stop to that, suggesting that Kate didn't want to jeopardize her new image by associating with subordinates. Now Kate doubted that had been a suggestion founded in helpfulness, Laura had been the only possible real friend Kate had made since their rescue who had nothing to do with the Island.

When Laura walked into the bar with Polly and a few of the other secretaries, Kate bided her time. Laura's was the last round and when she accepted the bill from the waiter, she saw the note Kate had written. A few minutes later when the others had left, she slid into the chair next to Kate, hazel eyes dancing with wary curiosity.

"Just give it to me straight." Kate ordered.

"We're not in the office anymore Miss Dorf, I don't have to do anything or tell you anything I don't want to." Laura snapped.

Kate held up a placatory hand.

"Okay, _I'm sorry_. Thank you for doing as I asked and staying to talk."

Kate pushed a Mojito towards Laura, "And it's just Kate now…If I remember right, this was your favorite after-drinks cocktail?"

Laura eyed her suspiciously but then accepted the beverage, her eyes widening as she noted that Kate's Cosmopolitan still remained untouched. Kate waved off her silent query.

"I'm not in the mood. I've just found out that all those years of therapy were actually hurting me more instead of helping me. If I start drinking I might _never_ stop."

Laura reached out to touch Kate's hand in concern, "I'm sorry to hear that, we may have stopped being friends but I would never wish-"

"It's okay, I know." Kate cut her off gently. Smiling at the sensitive redhead she shrugged.

"So what happened?"

"Let's just say, the past didn't stay past… and I started to remember things. Then I stopped taking the pills."

"Oh _Thank God_! I told you those things were counter-productive." Laura said with relief.

"Yeah you did… Is there any particular reason why you used to tell me that?" Kate mused out-loud.

Laura opened her mouth to reply then shut it again, opting to drain her cocktail, her eyes didn't meet Kate's. She smiled at Kate apologetically and made to rise.

"Laura, if you know something… if someone is telling you to keep quiet, _don't _please. I'm in the dark here and I am remembering things in bits and pieces, and the things I remember are so unreal and-"

"I want to help you Kate but I could get fired or worse-"

"Why? Why would anyone fire you for talking to me?" Kate pressed.

Laura rolled her eyes and leaned to whisper in Kate's ear, "You are under surveillance all the time at Securicare, when we hung out we used to be followed. When I told you to try meditation and yoga as opposed to the pills and therapy that seemed to be going nowhere? Someone came to my house and showed me a picture of Wayne, your father's charred remains and told me to stay away from you."

Kate drew back in horror, her green eyes frantically searching Laura's she found nothing but sympathy.

"Next time I saw you after that you were as high as a kite and Juliet was glued to your asshole, and that's the way it was after that. I tried to talk to you in the bathrooms once and after you left, I got another house visit. I have my own skeletons in the closet, so I just stayed away." Laura finished, shouldering her purse she stepped away from the table.

"Laura wait! What's in the log book? Who was looking for me? _Please_, I _need_ your help!" Kate grabbed her arm in desperation; Laura covered Kate's hand with her own for a second before she pulled away.

"Be smart but be careful, whatever it is that you're involved in it's got some wicked powerful people pulling the strings. You're off the drugs they were doping you with, you tried to quit your job and both Dr. Lameass and Botox have been at the office looking for you. She even went to the top floor to see someone a couple of times… I'm scared for you girl."

Kate let her go, and sat back in defeat staring at her clean but scraped palms she felt herself starting to fall apart all over again. This was beyond hopeless, nobody wanted to talk to her or help her, and everyone seemed to be involved in this conspiracy that seemed to be growing exponentially every hour. The only people that weren't were the four children she'd left behind in Texas. Her heart contracted painfully in her chest and she found it difficult to get air in her lungs. She brutally wrenched her mind away from that atomic bomb of emotions and focused on the here and the now. Her eyes stubbornly remained dry as she contemplated what to do with the little information she'd gotten from her former friend.

**That night**

A quick call to Juliet that she would be in for a re-scheduled appointment tomorrow morning and a stilted conversation with Jack as he grilled her on her recent behavior and whereabouts had brought the day to a close. Thankfully, the spinal surgeon had gone out for dinner; coldly informing her that due to her present behavior she wouldn't be joining him.

Kate sat in the empty apartment and realized that she found herself on the verge of hyperventilation all the time when she was here since she'd stopped taking the meds. The place felt more and more like a prison, especially when contrasted to the spacious, high-ceilinged plantation house surrounded by its acres of land; that James and his family inhabited. When she thought about it, her heart tugged in her chest as if it wanted to leave her body and head for the South.

Tonight at the bar, she had realized that the only way she could find herself again, would be to play dumb a little longer. Her emotional, erratic behavior while she was in Texas would buy her a one-way ticket to nowhere here.

Kate stared at the liquor cabinet for a heartbeat before she opened it and picked up a bottle of gin. Brushing a stray tendril out of her eye, she strode into the bedroom and retrieved the prescription bag from the trash can. Raising an eyebrow in surprise that Jack hadn't noticed it, she was thankful for that oversight, the lecture and the screaming wouldn't have been worth it. She smiled to herself as she remembered James' remark about Jack practically being a woman. Her smile faltered as that image was replaced with the one of Viv's revelation in the kitchen. Mentally stuffing the image of her stormy union with James in the grass the day before along with everything that had gone on between them after; into a closet, Kate sighed ruefully.

She pulled the pills out of the bag, opting to take the Xanax, Seroquel and some Valium for good measure. She stared at them with fear and loathing but then her mind flashed back to Juliet pumping lead in Pickett's chest and she leaned her head back tossing them into her mouth. Uncapping the gin she took a healthy swig and made a face at the taste. They had stolen four years of her life with her kids, they had stolen her kids and any chance her and James may have had together. Taking a longer swig, the bitter alcohol poured down her throat until she almost gagged. Tomorrow the games would begin in earnest and she had no intention of losing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope I didn't _**jump the shark**_ guys! **Press that button and review**! Thank you darlings!!!

P.S. How happy did that next James/Kate promo make y'all? I have been smiling for days. Didn't watch this week's episode and I don't intend to… but I can't wait for next Wednesday.


	14. Chapter 14 Freak On A Leash

**Bestest most awesomest Beta Bud _is the best!_ Many thanks, hugs and kisses to her. **

**FYI: Your reviews? Rock my frakking world. Just to let you know, I love you all. For the noobies, I reply to reviews so you can check for my personal response after a day or two.**

**Okay y'all, this chapter is crazy with the intrigue, etc. It was necessary but I am a little worried that it may feel like an overload. That could be good or it could be bad, so let me know what you think. If there are parts that feel like WTF with Kate, they aren't. She's just going into crafty woman mode. I don't think it will take a rocket scientist to figure that James and the babies will be back next chapter. I'm done with the plot expo for a few chapters.**

**Chapter 14**** – Freak on A Leash**

Kate studied the female doctor sitting next to her with a cold fury roiling in her stomach. The effects of her gin and pills cocktail had made her weak and woozy, she had trouble remembering anything after she had left the bar but it didn't take much to figure out why she had taken the meds.

Jack's concerned face was the only thing that kept Kate from fidgeting as Juliet extracted yet another vial of blood from her arm. She had woken up a few minutes before to find both doctors studying her face intently, intermittently exchanging worried looks.

"Katherine, I want to take you in to the hospital. It took far too long to wake you up. You could have OD'ed." Juliet said her voice fraught with worry.

"That would have been a real shame wouldn't it? If I died?" Kate asked sarcasm dripping off her tongue.

Despite her grogginess Kate noticed that Juliet's expression almost changed and Jack bristled, his breath coming out in a rush of angry air.

"Katherine please." Juliet tried again.

She shook her head vehemently, her eyes finding Jack's she begged him to support her decision, the spinal surgeon looked unhappy but silently refused to do so all the same.

"No. I'm staying right here." Kate said adamant.

Juliet looked over her shoulder at Jack and he returned her gaze nodding his approval to drop the subject. The blonde shrugged and with her usual implacable expression, packed the vials in her doctor's bag. Rising she stroked Kate's hair reassuringly and then smiling softly turned to indicate for Jack to follow her out of the bedroom and into the living room. The brunette rolled her eyes in exasperation; she just wanted Juliet to leave so she could talk to Jack alone. She couldn't wait to tell Jack her suspicions. If he had been playing football with these monsters they must have violated his brain like they had hers. It was a comfort to know that at least someone else had been as deceived and abused as she had. Made her feel a little less alone and isolated in this crazy world she had woken up to yesterday morning. She tried to think back to the last time she had felt like part of a team. Kate saw a flash of James kneeling in the rain with Pickett's gun at his head.

"_Close your eyes Freckles!" _

She hadn't felt alone then had she? What had happened precipitating her waking up in the jungle handcuffed to Juliet? Maybe the explanation lay there? How could it, she had gone to get Jack back with Locke, Sayid and Rousseau, James had had nothing to do with that mission. The picture was getting clearer but there were still some missing pieces. Maybe she didn't want to remember them because they would show her just what James had done in order to take her kids from her? How could the man who had been ready to die for her have done something so reprehensible? Then she remembered how he had used her to steal the guns. Kate's shoulders drooped; it made perfect sense after all.

"_A tiger don't change its stripes."_

That was the truth wasn't it? She had found out that the kids were hers and she had run back to Manhattan and to Jack. He had hurt her immeasurably by keeping the truth from her. That wasn't new ground either; he'd exposed her as the Marshall's prisoner before he got on the raft, stolen the guns and kept the information about being on another island a secret. As much as she was still attracted to him and was in constant danger of immolation just by breathing the same air as him, they were destined to retread the same path. Always dance the same steps to the same song that skipped at exactly the same place. The whole thing was exhausting. Yet strangely her heartbeat accelerated at the thought of the familiar routine, despite it's predictability it was always exciting, besides there was always the hope that this time the steps would change, for the better. Hadn't they been on the brink of something new, healthy and secure just a few days ago?

"That was incredibly stupid, even for you Kate." Jack said sternly, breaking into her thoughts.

She sighed, now this dance was definitely tiresome, it was beyond whatever was beyond tiresome. She couldn't help but derive some pleasure from the fact that he'd been just as duped as she had been. In fact he'd been duped sooner. Taking a deep breath she held out her hand to him. Jack looked at it for a second too long before taking it, sitting next to her on the big bed he stared into her eyes, his brown ones dancing side to side in that incredibly irritating way they did when he was about to flip out.

"I need you to listen to me, what I have to say ain't easy."

Jack frowned crossly.

"Is not or isn't easy. Ain't is beyond bad grammar." Jack corrected condescendingly.

Kate bit her lip to keep from screaming. She was still bleary but his attitude was rubbing her the wrong way.

"Sorry, what I have to say _is not_ easy. I need you to just listen to me okay?" she said in conciliatory tone.

Jack watched her expectantly. His body language told her that he wasn't going to be incredibly receptive to what she had to say.

"I'm waiting."

"I went back to Iowa this week."

"I know."

"How do you know?" Kate asked in confusion. Alarm bells started to ring somewhere in the recesses of her mind.

"They've been watching you to make sure you don't do anything stupid." Jack said matter-of-factly.

Kate frowned utterly confounded now, "Who's they?"

"The people I hired to keep tabs on you. If I had known I would have gotten you a sitter too. I can't watch you all the time and when you go and do crazy things like almost overdose on prescription medication and half a bottle of gin it becomes clear to me that I'm going to need help." He spoke so pompously Kate wanted to slap him until her palms bled.

"Jack I took too many pills fine, but you've never had a problem with me having a drink before bed when I've been on the meds." Kate hated the pleading in her tone.

Jack opened his mouth and started to berate her, but Kate wasn't listening. Had she always sounded so weak when they disagreed? Her mind flashed back to her argument with Sawyer when he told her they were going back to camp.

"_Should I walk ten steps behind you?"_

Looking back on it now she couldn't remember a single time that would have justified that interpretation of Sawyer's actions or words. She shook her head in amazement, he was many things but he had always treated her like an equal. The way Jack treated Juliet but never her. She gasped.

"You're in love with her aren't you?"

Jack paused mid-rant his eyes moving so fast Kate worried the eyeballs were going to fall out of his face. The thought made her smirk.

"Juliet? You're_ in love _with my best friend!" Kate exclaimed.

Jack released her hand and moved away from the bed, hands on hips he shook his head at her observation.

"No, I am not. And we're talking about _you _and your attempted suicide."

"My _what_? No! Jack, I'm trying to tell you, I've got my memories back." Kate said with an amused head-shake.

Jack froze, turning around to look at her with genuine fear in his eyes he advanced on her. Kate steeled herself for the inevitable painful grip on her shoulders, as his eyes searched hers.

"What did you say?"

"I said I've got my memories back. Not all of them but some of them. Jack the Others, they put me and Sawyer in bear cages and made us work. You were in some kind of aquarium and they wanted you to do some surgery on Ben. You sacrificed yourself for us and they let us go. And Juliet, she was one of them. She was _on_ the Island with us!" Kate said in rush, he was really hurting her.

Jack sat back in shock, his hands fell away from her and he stared at Kate like he had never seen her before. She leaned forward on the pillows and touched his slack hands. Her mind flashed back to her own hands in handcuffs while Jack sat in a wooden chair. His hands weren't bound. She frowned but the image was gone.

"When we got back to camp, I went back for you with Locke, Sayid and Rousseau, when we got to the Others' camp you were playing football with them. They brainwashed you and they brainwashed me. Juliet is one of _Them_, she handcuffed herself to me in the jungle and somehow ended up coming back to the camp with you, Sayid and me. I don't know what happened to Locke or Rousseau." Kate continued, her voice strengthening with confidence as she pieced the chronology together.

The flashback of her having sex with James by the waterfall made her blush but then the memory of needles and wires and then the hazy labor plus that last image of James leaving her in the bear cages refueled the cold strength she was drawing from somewhere deep inside her. She stared at the frozen man in front of her, she reached out to him again, this time he shook his head in despair. Rubbing a hand down his face he turned to Kate, his eyes reflected sadness.

"I can't believe this is happening."

"I know. But it happened, to you and to me. _To us._ Jack we-"

"Kate, this is all in your head. Juliet was not on the Island, nobody remembers anything and you don't have any proof. These are incredible allegations. If you take this… theory… if you run with this, they'll lock you up in an asylum and I won't be able to protect you."

"What? _Jaaaack!_ No! _Listen to me_. You don't even know the half of it, I didn't even tell you about the tests they did on us. The tests _Juliet _sanctioned and performed herself. The injections, the wires, the torture, the way they used my body to make me-"

"Kate! That's enough! Not another word."

Kate recoiled incredulous, not a single word she had said had registered. He thought she was certifiable. A solitary tear slid down her cheek as she stared at Jack's disappointed face. She tried to reach out to him but he stood up and moved out of her reach, pacing on the floor for a few minutes he eventually turned back to her. To his visible relief, she had gotten a grip on herself, so she was dry-eyed at least.

"Get some rest. And when Juliet gets back, for the love of God don't say anything about your crazy theories. You'll hurt her feelings, she's your best friend and your therapist. Give her some of the respect she unquestioningly gives you." Jack said with disgust, stomping out of the room he slammed the door behind him.

Kate flinched, and lay there in the bed, blinking repeatedly.

"To say his reaction defied belief would be an understatement." Kate murmured to the empty room.

Lying back on the pillows she gritted her teeth against the pounding migraine bearing down on her. Laura had told her to be smart but careful. She would get Jack to see the truth, and she knew exactly how she was going to do it. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

**A Few Hours Later**

The relieved smile on Juliet's face as she read the lab results she'd brought back with her incensed Kate; thankfully the feeling replaced the disconcerting welcome party her body was throwing at the reintroduction of the chemicals into her blood.

"You look troubled Katherine."

"The name is Kate." She snapped irritably.

Juliet smiled that serene smile of hers that Kate used to find calming. Now it was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Laura was right she did look like she had had too much Botox.

"Okay… Kate. What's bothering you?"

"Your reaction to the lab results." Kate replied, with an arched eyebrow.

"What reaction is that?"

Juliet's self-control remained intact but Kate saw the small flicker of fear in her eyes.

"Relief. Why would you look relieved?" She challenged.

"I'm worried about you. The way you're acting lately it's deeply disturbing. Since you came back from Texas, well more like since you saw Ford again, you're exhibiting-"

"Ford? How did you know that was his last name?"

"We had the flight manifest when you were rescued. It was all over the news… I sense some aggression Kate, why don't you tell me what's going on?"

"Okay _Jules_, I hate my job, I don't have anything but my work to make myself feel remotely like a person and that's pretty sad seeing as they call me the 'Ice Maiden'. I'm sick of the meds, and I'm wondering why you won't take me off them."

"Calm down, it's okay. I'm here to listen and to help. Just breathe like I taught you." Juliet soothed, laying a hand on Kate's shoulder as she coached her.

Kate remembered Juliet yelling at her to breathe and push in a room that smelt of sanitizer. Her nostrils flared as she shrugged Juliet's hand off and got to her feet, facing the older woman with a look that could have turned her into stone.

"Where's Jack? Did he talk to you while I was napping? How long are you planning to lock me in here?" She gestured to the bedroom door that was locked from the outside. She fought hard to hold her mounting fear at bay.

"Given your recent actions, Jack and I thought it was best to lock the door but nobody's keeping you anywhere against your will. I do have to check your physical condition too, Kate. You know that." Juliet said sympathetically.

"You're not hooking me up to wires and machines. That's all I see in my nightmares, I'm not making it a reality." Kate replied resolutely.

"Okay. So let's do it the fun way." Juliet said with a smile.

Kate smiled right back, nothing would please her more at the moment than a chance to get in a good pummeling.

"Let's do it, you're going to have to get Jack to unlock the door though."

Juliet nodded getting up from her perch on the bed and approached Kate slowly.

"Before we go down to the gym… Jack told me you think you have your memory back. That you think I was on the Island with you guys."

Kate narrowed her eyes in a movement that unwittingly mimicked James' trademark squint.

Juliet held her hands out, palms facing upwards, "I wasn't there Kate. I was in Portland conducting research."

"I've been to Portland. And I think Shannon's 'Craphole Island' is a more fitting name." Kate sniped. She relaxed her body, despite the fact that the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end.

Juliet gave her a half-smile and a shrug.

"You understand that there is no way what you remember is real? _I wasn't there_." Juliet enunciated the last three words.

It was galling that Juliet held her hands open in the universal gesture of sincerity; without thinking Kate aimed a swift roundhouse kick at Juliet's head. She caught the blonde by surprise and the woman fell like a log under a lumberjack's saw, bouncing off the bed, before landing on the floor with a thud. She followed up on her move by stepping on Juliet's right wrist and with a quick decisive move of her heel she heard a crunch. Juliet screamed in agony, reaching over with her left hand to pinch the nerve in Kate's crushing foot. Kate fell back as her leg twitched convulsively. Juliet studied her hand in shock and looked at Kate with building anger. Ripping off a strip off the expensive bedsheets she wrapped it around her hand and then getting up strode over to Kate. The younger woman looked up at her with a matching anger in her eyes. Juliet grabbed her hair roughly dragging her up.

"You probably _broke_ my wrist."

"Sorry." Kate said without an ounce of regret.

"Do you want to tell me what this about?"

Kate's green eyes narrowed, chafing at the woman's tone. Juliet was still holding onto her hair but her grip had slackened. Kate headbutted her without hesitation.

"You want to test my physical condition and my reflexes, _so test me_. Let me know when you're done."

Kate followed Juliet but the blonde was now very angry so she pulled her left arm back and punched Kate in the face, smiling in satisfaction when Kate bit her tongue. That didn't deter her opponent, the brunette advanced and feinting to the left grabbed Juliet's injured wrist and arm, wrenching it out of it's socket as she flipped Juliet on the floor in one fluid move. She placed a knee on Juliet's chest and stared into the winded woman's eyes.

"I read about the meds _Jules_. I _know _what they do. If you really are my friend and all you want to do is help me, do you want to tell me why you are doping me up so much that I never remember those missing 19 months? Or why Jack, the guy whose heart _you said_ I'd broken by sleeping with Sawyer in the cages _your_ people had cameras on, _doesn't _remember a thing either?" Kate demanded.

Juliet's face didn't register shock although her body language did. Kate nodded silently and pressed harder with her knee. Before she knew what was happening Jack had hauled her backwards and flung her across the room into the bathroom door. She hit her head hard. With the pain of impact came the memory of a similar pain years ago in the hallway of some Other's house. Kate rubbed the back of her head still a little confused.

"Are you okay?" Jack asked Juliet solicitously.

"I'm fine." Juliet said in pain-filled voice.

The rest of her missing memories surrounding her Jack-rescue mission came flooding back; him playing the piano, then him sitting above her in the games room as he told her she shouldn't have come for him. Jack whispering in her ear that he would come back for her, Juliet flipping her over when she tried to attack her in a move Kate had subconsciously mimicked, Juliet telling her that she had ruined their chances of ever getting off the Island, Jack's frosty reception after her apology, the trek back to the beach with Sayid and finding Sawyer as he still was to her then at the waterfall. The celebrations of Jack's return and then the questions about Juliet's presence, Jack's defense of Juliet, and Claire's mysterious illness the next day, the idyll that had pervaded for a few weeks and then their consequent recapture by the Others a month after her and Sawyer had escaped with Carl. Jack had brought the enemy into their camp and she had infiltrated them, she had had everything to do with their recapture.

Jack had just pushed the dislocated shoulder back in place and Juliet had moaned in pain. Kate pushed herself up against the wall and approached the couple who were sitting on her bed, practically cuddling each other. She was operating on pure instinct now as she went to her side of the bed and pulled her handgun out of the false bottom in her bedside table. She pointed it at Juliet's head, and pulled back the safety.

"Kate! _What are you doing!?? _Put it down!" Jack yelped in horrified surprise.

"No."

"Kate! _Dammit! Put it down!"_ Jack yelled.

"Look into my eyes Jules do you think I won't pull this trigger?" Kate demanded coldly.

It was wrong to feel this way but she finally felt like she was in control of the situation and her life again. This cold, calculating place was the place she was most comfortable. There was no hesitation, doubts or uncertainties, just Kate and the will to survive.

"No I don't. You'll shoot me without hesitation."

"Just like the way you shot what-was-his-name on the beach?"

There was a pregnant pause but when Kate's grip tightened Juliet knew she had lost.

"Danny…Pickett."

A few silent tears of guilt and sadness slid down Juliet's cheeks.

"Or the way you would have shot me when Sawyer kissed me and took _all_ of you on in that yard where we were…?"

"Breaking rocks." Juliet supplied in that soft voice of hers.

"I thought it was all in my head?" Kate said in a toneless voice.

Jack had been staring at her slack-jawed but looking at the tears in Juliet's eyes he cleared his throat to talk to Kate.

"Shutup Jack. I'm talking to my therapist here, I'm showing her some respect by not shooting her, after all she helped steal my babies."

Juliet gasped. Jack looked like he'd been accused of performing a bad surgery.

"Yes I remember _that_ too. And just in case it was a figment of my imagination, I went to see a gynaecologist yesterday. He confirmed it." Kate said in that same chilling toneless voice.

Juliet and Jack exchanged a meaningful look.

"Do you want to tell me why you brought and _protected_ the enemy in our midst Jack? Or why you _left_ me in their hands in the first place?" Kate asked Jack, her blazing eyes moving to glare at him.

Jack flinched he had never seen her like this. He looked at Juliet. Kate lost her patience. Striding over to the bed she grabbed Juliet and pointed the gun at her jugular.

"Kate!"

"I blew up my father Jack, got the man I loved killed, slept with a gang leader in order to get him to rob a bank, engineered a bank robbery and shot the robbers, killed two of them. You don't know me if you think I won't shoot _her_!"

Jack held up his hands and got up slowly, following Kate as she backed into the bathroom, dragging a teary-eyed Juliet with her. When she got into the bathroom she turned on the bathwater and stood against the wall, gun still trained on Juliet. If there were microphones in the apartment the sound of water running would mask their words somewhat.

"Talk." Kate ordered them both. Her instincts told her they both knew more than they were letting on, she just didn't know what.

Jack got down on his knees on the tiles and stared up at Kate beseechingly.

"Point that gun at me Kate but let her go."

"Why?"

"If you want to hold anyone responsible it might as well be me."

"Why?"

"Jack, leave it, you don't have to-"

"No Juliet, I can't. Kate, _you're_ making a big mistake."

"What are you talking about Jack?"

"Jack! Don't do this! Jack-" Juliet pleaded.

Kate knocked Juliet out with the butt of her gun and let the woman sag limply in her arms. Sliding down onto the floor she stared at Jack, wild-eyed with fear, whatever Jack was about to tell her she was scared to hear. She waited a few minutes, building up the courage to ask the question.

"Why am I making a big mistake, Jack?"

"The meds, the therapy administered by Juliet, the job at Securicare… all those things were part of the deal I made."

"What deal Jack? _With who_?" Kate demanded in frustration.

Jack looked remorseful for a second then he looked just plain fed up with her.

"The deal I made for _your life_, Kate. All those things you listed in the other room? They were the exact reason they wanted to kill you, but I stopped them. I _saved your life_."

"How do you call raping my brain, stealing my memories, my kids… saving my life?"

Jack looked annoyed with her questions.

"Because Kate, when rescue came which was going to happen anyway, they would have thrown you in the deepest darkest hole and tossed the key too. I saw from your face earlier that you don't remember it all. I saved you and they _gave you_ a new life. You got a chance to be the Kate you could have been without the criminal past. And you succeeded." He said the last part with pride.

Kate stared at him dumbly.

"You became a woman I was _proud_ to have by my side. You were smart, accomplished, beautiful, the very first completely reformed criminal without going to jail. And they did all that for you, because I asked them to spare your life."

"And now all of that hard work has gone down the drain because of a _cowboy_ named James." Juliet said as she came to with a suffering groan.

Kate didn't bother to point the gun at her as the blonde pulled herself up and shuffled to lean against the wall next to Kate. Juliet gave Jack a small smile then her head lolling to the side she gave Kate a chagrined one.

"From that one unforeseen encounter in the boardroom you started to unravel. I'm starting to wonder if your almost over-dose was just to cover up the fact that you had stopped taking the meds. Those were withdrawal symptoms you were suffering from that day you came in to see me, right?" Juliet probed.

Kate didn't reply.

"Even during your conditioning… James was your weak spot. The one trigger that reversed all the progress we made. It doesn't help that you lived together with him for most of it." Juliet continued.

Kate's head whipped around to study Juliet.

"What do you mean I lived with him? Are the kids I had his?" She pressed frantically.

It amazed her how well the lies and deceit came back to her.

"You lived with him in what used to be my house for all but 2 months of your sojourn in the barracks."

"So is he clueless like me too?" Kate demanded.

"To an extent yes."

"And my kids."

"Are not yours really, they were adopted by families that wanted and needed them. Families that could give them something you never had; love and stability."

"_Where_ are they?"

"They are still on the Island."

"But when we were rescued the authorities-"

"Pretended to get rid of us for your benefits and the media's, they also lied about which Island they found you on. We've been working with the authorities all along, aren't just a bunch of mad scientists." Juliet finished.

"So what happens now?" Kate asked.

"That depends on you, Kate." Jack said from his position on the floor. He was leaning his elbows on his knees now, watching the entire exchange.

"The results of our tests on you, the achievements you've made working for Securicare, all of it was going to go public in the academic world later on this year. A breakthrough in sentencing and penology, prisoner reform, psychiatry… to name a few." Juliet supplied helpfully.

"Well it's not really a breakthrough because you had to keep me doped to the gills and seeing James triggered the memories." Kate snapped.

The things Juliet and Jack were saying and condoning were like something out of a Stephen King novel.

"Only because rescue came before we were done with your conditioning, and we realized too late that we shouldn't have kept you with James. Conditioning didn't really take until he betrayed you and left you in the bear cages." Juliet said with calculated spite.

She pointed her gun at Juliet then at Jack in order to get their attention.

"My last name Dorf? How did I get it?"

"You chose it and we got Ford to find a family with the right details with that name, he then created a birth certificate and did all those fraudulent things he does so well and Katherine Dorf was born."

Juliet answered, watching Kate's face at the mention of James, she noted the reaction.

"So he was working with you?"

"Pretty much. It takes time to create a believable case of false identity Kate. If we hadn't done that the story wouldn't have stuck and you would have gone to jail after rescue. And _that_ wasn't part of the plan. "

Kate was silent for a long time and nobody else dared move in the meantime. Rolling her eyes as she got to her feet, she skirted the brimming and leaking tub, turned the faucet off and stared at Jack and Juliet. She studied her emotions and found that although the revelations were shocking, the one thing that she had expected to hurt the most; Jack's betrayal, didn't. She had felt more pain at Juliet's mention of James leaving her in the bear cages and his obvious collaboration than in any of the things Jack had said and done all day.

"You _never _felt any remorse for what you were doing to me?"

Juliet looked at Kate with sad blue eyes, "I did, which is why I'm going to give you some free advice. Ben and the people we work for will not let you go."

Kate glanced at Jack and saw no answering sadness in his eyes or face. She sighed; always seemed to get it so wrong didn't she? The man didn't give her one thought, he saw it as if she had ruined her life to spite _him_. Just a science experiment to him, unlike Juliet who he was more than a little smitten with; she could only do wrong in his eyes. That much was obvious.

"You two are perfect for each other." Kate said out-loud as she opened the medicine cupboard and pulled out the Seroquel. Shaking the bottle she approached Jack and made him take a couple, then she approached Juliet and prompted her to do the same.

She sat on the edge of the tub and waited for them to get drowsy then disappeared into the other room for the half-empty gin bottle that sat on the dresser. She also picked up some sheets and tied each of them up, forcing them to drink the gin and swallow some valium. She frowned hoping she hadn't given them too much.

"I hope you don't think you can trust James. His hands aren't clean."

Kate stopped pondering the wisdom of her actions and smiled her first genuine smile since she'd left Texas.

"His never are. Don't you think I know now that I'm on my own and I can't trust anyone?"

"I don't think you understood me. His hands are no cleaner than mine or Jack's." Juliet informed her.

Kate remembered the way James had teased her good-naturedly in the bear cages, eliciting a smile. As well as the way he had distracted her with cleaning and picnics and making cornbread when she was with him in Texas. Despite her anger she knew that there was no way he could be on the same par as her two hostages or even her.

"I don't think anybody in this room can claim to be good or any better either." Kate said finally. She decided to gag them both.

Jack passed out ten minutes later and then she turned to Juliet, leaning down she whispered into the blonde's ear.

"You've dedicated your life to playing God with other people's lives. Why don't you do yourself a favor, take Jack, make him yours and be happy for once. I wish you had killed me, but you didn't. You won't remember this tomorrow but just in case it remains somewhere in that fucked up head of yours, don't look for me."

Juliet's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell back. Kate shrugged; she drained the tub and turned the water off before locking the bathroom door from the outside. Shaking she changed her clothes and left the apartment, heading for a payphone. She had to make a call.

**Two Days Later**** – Montana**

Kate watched John Locke whistle his way into the log cabin, and followed him inside. He glanced up when she shoved the door open but otherwise he didn't seem surprised to see her.

"Hey Kate."

"John." Kate replied shortly, she remembered his desertion with bitterness.

"Are you going to stop pointing that gun at me and take a seat?" Locke enquired.

Kate put the safety back on the gun and took a few more steps into the Spartan room. She noticed there was no television, this did not surprise her.

"You're so suspicious, of everyone. Doesn't that get tiring?" Locke asked her conversationally.

"I'm not here for your mind games John. I came here for some answers." Kate's tone showed she would brook no-nonsense.

Locke held his hands up and shrugged, rising from his armchair he walked into another room. Kate heard tin clanking so she followed him cautiously. The old man was making coffee.

"You're not going to shoot me Kate, so just put the gun down."

"Don't be too sure… I've been wondering a lot about what happened on the Island John. Wondering why we lost our memories so completely." Kate said conversationally.

She was sweating as she remembered his words to her in the gaming room, about how he had pleaded a case for her.

"Ahh." John said cryptically.

He stirred the coffee and adding sugar in his handed her the other tin cup. He indicated they return to the living room. Kate tucked her handgun into the back of her pants.

"So do you remember anything?" Kate pushed.

She sat down and her eyes fell on something leaning against the bookshelf behind Locke. It was in shadow and she could not really tell what it was, but something about it was familiar.

"Nope. Just the sky going purple while you, Jack, James, Hurley and Michael went to find the Others." Locke supplied in that enigmatic tone of his.

They drank their coffee in silence. When they were done they sat there for a while without speaking.

Kate got up to leave an apologetic smile on her face. Perhaps she had been wrong and they had wiped his memory too, it wasn't like he hadn't acted strangely; blowing up the hatches, taking and lying about the C-4, pushing Mikhail into the fence and then blowing up the sub before he chose to go with the Others.

Locke approached her with a kind smile on his face.

"Our memories were a sacrifice the Island demanded in order for us to rejoin civilization with our lives. It is futile to question anything else."

He hugged her and she found herself hugging him back, after all they were connected by their shared and individual experiences on that Island. As she was about to pull away her eyes focused on the object against the bookshelf.

"_Eko's sti__ck pointed us North!"_ His voice raised in argument with Sayid echoed in her head.

She pulled away and smiled at him.

"If you don't remember anything after the sky went purple then where did you get Eko's stick and why do you still have it?" Kate challenged.

Locke's face had an oddly innocent but guilty expression as he turned to look at the stick and then back at Kate. She was reaching back for her gun. He made to run for the stick but she pre-empted him, vaulting over the armchair she got there first and wielded it with expert ease.

"I work for Securicare, I train personnel in self-defense." Kate said proudly.

"And do you honestly believe you would have ever gotten that job if your memories weren't erased?"

"What for!? What did they_ do_ to us!?! What did they do to _me_? Why didn't they take yours?" Kate yelled at him.

He did not respond. Kate clubbed him, hard but she made sure not to knock him out. Raising the stick again she advanced on him.

"Think about what you are doing Kate. You may not like what you find; this new quest of yours is going to upset the balance, open Pandora's box. Like the time you decided to rescue Jack when he didn't need or want rescuing." Locke warned, as he shielded his head from her attack.

Kate stopped to think throwing the stick away from her in disgust she stared at the man she had respected and seen as a friend at some point.

"What do you mean upset the balance?"

Locke did not respond staring up at her warily. It was clear from the set of Locke's jaw that he would not tell her anymore. She thought of the four white photo albums she had seen in James' kitchen. Warning bells rang in her head as she felt herself on the brink of unwarranted violence. Kate tucked the gun back into her jeans and ran out of the cabin, heading for her rental car. Never seeing or hearing the camera that was clicking away furiously in the bushes.

**Two Days Later**

"Wow, Kate that is so intense." Laura whispered.

Kate shrugged and rising from her perch on the kitchen stool walked into the open plan living room in Laura's airy loft apartment.

"So what's next?" Laura asked.

"Next? I resign for real." Kate said with nonchalance she did not really feel.

Leaving Securicare meant she was back to being fugitive pre-Island crash Kate. Her job had been the one thing that had come to mean something to her all these years. How could she just walk away?

Laura watched her thoughtfully; it had been five nights since Kate had called her asking her if she had received the letter she'd sent in the mail. She had confirmed she had and waited with a triple-time hammering heart for the morning when Kate had packed up all her belongings from her apartment with Jack and put them in storage. After the removal, Kate had drugged Jack and Juliet again and dragged them out of the bathroom and into bed still restrained. Leaving the apartment without a backward glance she had hopped into a cab that had taken her to Little Italy. From there she had met Laura in a back alley and the two had doubled back to Laura's loft. Kate had told Laura everything she had learned from Jack and Juliet. And they had stayed up trying to find Locke.

After her return they had spent late nights after Laura got back from work where she reported everything about the increased activity since Kate's gutsy attempted resignation; trying to figure out what to do next.

"And this John Locke guy? Now that you've had some time to think…The stuff he said, do you believe him?" Laura pressed.

"There's only him, Sayid and James; they are the only people who may not have had their memories erased. I have strong feeling Sayid too was mind-erasure free. They must have been the only three collaborators, I remember now that none of them were at the group therapy sessions after the rescue." Kate postulated a determined look on her face.

Laura gave Kate a sympathetic look as she patted the couch indicating for Kate to sit down next to her.

"I know you want answers, but, what about the kids you had? I know I gave up my little girl for adoption but I have seen her and the family that adopted her. I feel better knowing she's in a good home but she's my raison d'être. Shouldn't you-"

"I can't think about that right now Laura. I need to know what they did to me. How they did it. I need to get my memories back… I don't even know which labor I remember." Kate interrupted passionately.

"Okay… I get it. I want someone to pay for all of this too-"

"_And they will_. I'm not going to let them get away with it, somebody is going to have to pay for what they've done to me, what they've taken from me and it's _not _going to be me any longer." Kate said with determination.

Laura smiled sadly, her friend was resolute and it was formidable to behold but she couldn't help but feel that it was for the wrong cause.

**The Next Day**

Kate slipped on her Chanel sunglasses and walked out of the Securicare building and into the sunlight wearing a white Donna Karan mini-dress and heels, she felt like she had been cleansed. Taking care not to look at Laura through the glass doors she got into the cab that would take her to her temporary new apartment. She had signed the lease this morning. Laura had promised to keep in touch and send her any information she found, so now all that remained was a few loose ends. There was only the past to lay to rest before she could look to the future. It was obvious she would need help and she knew just where she was going to get it.

Up on the top-most floor of the Securicare building stood two men watching Kate's cab as it wound into traffic before finally disappearing from view. The call came through that the tail had lost sight of her.

"She's full of surprises that Katherine. This round has gone to her but she won't win. I've worked too hard and too long for this project. There's a lot of money at stake here, this work is just too important. Find her and _find him_, we can't be caught with our pants down so close to D-Day again."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wonder if y'all think you know who _him_ is? Don't forget to **press that button and review**, darlings!


	15. Chapter 15 What Makes You Stay

First off, you guys **are so good **to me, and I cannot apologise enough for making y'all wait so long for an update. But real life interferes sometimes! I've had an exam and migraines from hell, but at least I've got medication for the pain.

I'd like to say, I am now actively ignoring the depiction of Kate on the show because I find it too excruciating to watch.

**Bestest Beta Bud** is the **Best** y'all and I'd like to thank her for her tireless efforts. And also for finding the time to beta this long chapter when her own real life is so hectic!

One more thing, I always find Southern families interesting because they are such a mixture of all the different peoples that have lived there either as conqueror or vanquished and I hope my incorporation of that fascination isn't too OTT. Also in James' situation he obviously came from a sufficiently well-off enough family for Cooper to con them. And $38,000 was a lot of money in the seventies wouldn't you say?

Without further ado...

**Chapter 15**** – What Makes You Stay**

James opened his eyes with a wince as the morning rays pierced through his windows. He blinked a few times in order to dispel the wispy cobwebs of sleep. Unconsciously he turned to the left and once again felt the gnawing ache he had convinced himself was long gone before she'd come back into his life. It was beyond ridiculous that he still missed waking up with her curled on her side facing him but not quite touching.

"None of it was real, to begin with. A pretense at a normal life while they screwed around with your heads." James muttered out-loud.

He sat up, propping himself up against the pillows and stared at nothing in particular, lost in the memories of their enforced domesticity back on the Island. He smiled at the futility that was the exercise of trying to remember the countless times he had watched her sleep, counting the freckles on her face and generally memorizing her features. He had always known they were living on borrowed time.

James heard a loud bang come from outside, jolting him out of his reverie. It was the eve of Viv's birthday party and the family members were starting to crawl out of the woodwork. His cousin Jim an architect by profession had arrived the day before to start erecting the marquee and other structures that were eventually going to house the entire Ford clan tomorrow evening. James felt his chest contract in his chest as his heart pre-empted his brain and let itself hope that she would turn up in time for the celebrations. He frowned in irritation, when he wasn't worrying about her safety back in New York; especially in the emotional state she had been before she fled, he was angry at her and himself for caring at all. He was angry at the forces beyond either one of their control that had brought them to this juncture in the first place. He was livid at Kate for still being the scared, immature little girl that ran away from all her problems and anything that she could not easily control. And he was more than a little angry at himself for still hoping that their next encounter would be different and they could make some progress, namely that she would realize just how much he genuinely cared about her and always would.

Giving the empty space next to him a fierce scowl he dragged himself out of the bed and headed for the shower. He wasn't some naïve love struck teenager nor was he in love with her at all, he had no business giving her a second thought when she had taken off in the dark of night, leaving him and the kids for Jack and the ivory tower, again.

**Later that morning**

Kate hefted the backpack one last time as she took in the large wrought iron gates that were currently impeding her progress to the plantation house. Every single time she had been here the gates had been open and she hadn't noticed the high walls that kept prying eyes away. Now that they were shut and not budging an inch she felt very much like a drunken unwelcome guest who was undoubtedly going to make a nuisance of herself at the party. Wiping her brow she moved to press the buzzer in order to announce her presence, but was saved the trouble when a blue truck pulled up to the gates in order to leave. The black metal slid open and the driver who looked like a darker haired and skinned version of James tipped his cap to her and gestured for her to come in.

Kate flashed him a brilliant smile of relief as she walked onto the property and waving at the driver as he checked her out, made her way up the long tree-lined driveway and towards the house. Her palms were sweating and her heart was racing but she felt an emotion she could only classify as positive stir in her breast when she placed a foot on the front step.

"I'm gonna go batshit if that sonofabitch son of yours comes on ma property an' starts makin' a scene, Viv!" James was saying as he approached the front door.

"Sonofabitch son of mine!? You want to be starting something Boy?" Viv demanded as she pulled the screen open.

"I ain't startin' nothin' Viv, I'm _tellin' it_ as it is. Well, do you wanna move outta my way? This chair ain't exactly light." James pressed grumpily.

Viv was standing in the doorway, obstructing his progress. When she didn't respond he set down the heavy mahogany chair he was carrying and dusting his hands on the seat of his pants went to see what had Viv so silent.

Kate tried to read the expression on the older woman's face but found she couldn't. Had there been a flicker of relief in her eyes or did Kate just imagine that? She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, feeling like a chastised child. Viv stepped away from the door but held it open letting James see the bedraggled woman standing on his front porch.

James inhaled sharply as he took in the inch thick layer of dust, sweat and grime that covered Kate. She was wearing a new pair of Timberlands, jeans and a black t-shirt, her hair was tied up in a messy bun with stray strands held back by the Chanel sunglasses acting as a hair band. She had a large black weeklong backpack on her shoulders, and James could tell the weight of it was punishing her.

"Oh hell no, I don't think so! What the hell do you want?" He demanded brusquely.

Kate stared at him speechlessly; it wasn't until he had stepped out onto the porch that she noted the pure antipathy glowing in his expressive blue eyes. They stared at each other for a prolonged minute; Viv stepped out onto the porch too and gave her grandson a disgusted look.

"Now is that a way to speak to the mother of your children?" Viv demanded sharply.

Kate's green eyes flickered over to Viv with appreciation before she brought them back to clash with James'. His stance and expression was downright combative, as he crossed his arms and positively glared at her.

"She _ain't_ their mother, Viv. She's a gene donor who just let them live in her womb for a few months an' she's_ gettin' off my property now_."

Kate's eyes flashed with anger, nostrils flaring she mirrored his stance. "I'm not going anywhere."

"That's a first."

"You invited me, remember?"

"Well you didn't r.s.v.p. so invitation's been revoked."

"You're an asshole and you stole my kids from me the least you could do is-"

"Yadda yadda yadda Freckles, get off my property."

"No. I'm not finished and I'm not doing anything until you hear-"

"The only thing I wanna hear from you Kate is the sound of your retreatin' footsteps as you vacate an' relocate off my premises."

Kate, hands on hips advanced on him, stopping only when they stood toe to toe she opened her mouth to deliver her rebuttal. Viv got there first.

"Boy you've lost your damn mind! I taught you better than that. Can't you see the girl can barely stand under the weight of this thing? Don't talk nonsense, she's not going anywhere except for inside. Help her out of this contraption!"

James raked Kate's face with a disgusted look and rebelliously turned to go back into the house, "Forget it."

Kate seethed but Viv clucked her tongue, "Got yourself a concession, so don't just stand there, get inside!"

Kate did as she was told a tight smile of victory on her face. She followed James' bristling figure into the kitchen, noting that everything in the house was gleaming like a showroom along the way.

James opened a cupboard and pulling down a glass, poured some water from the faucet then set the glass in front of her. Kate glanced at it thirstily, then stared at him warily as he brought his hands up to her shoulders and gently slid the straps of the backpack off her steaming shoulders. The air thickened as the familiar sparks flew between them; aggravated by the contact and their proximity to each other. Wordlessly she twisted to the side and let him lift the backpack off her shoulders, before he set it at her feet. Kate automatically reached for the water and took a big gulp before she swallowed it in horrified surprise.

"It's boiling hot!"

"Beggars ain't choosers an' you drank it anyway." James snapped matter-of-factly as he took the glass from her and went to load it into the dishwasher.

"I wasn't done!"

"I am. In case you didn't notice Princess, we've got the whole family comin' down to celebrate Viv's birthday an' if you think I'm a pain in the ass you haven't met the rest of the clan. So unless you got somethin' worthwhile to say, why don't you just take yourself upstairs an' spare the rest of us the unnecessary headache?"

"I thought Viv's party was yesterday?" Kate said with confusion.

"I told you it was yesterday because I knew you'd turn up only after you thought it had passed. You're not here for Viv's party so why don't we just cut to the chase an' tell me what you're doin' here." James said with a knowing smirk on his face, feeling the hollow victory of having figured out just how selfish she was.

Kate had the good grace not to look offended at his accurate assessment, deciding to take the bull by the horns instead she plunged ahead.

"I found out some stuff back in New York and it's got to do with Ben and Dharma or whatever the Others were. You have to help me find out what they did to me, how I can get my memory back then maybe-"

James' stormy countenance stopped her mid-sentence as he strode over to her, forcing her to tilt her head up in order to maintain eye contact.

"I don't think I _have to_ help you anythin'. In fact I ain't helpin' you period."

"What is _your _problem!? You've been _living_ the storybook life with the kids and the dog while I've been _held hostage in my own mind_, used as some kind of… guinea pig! You _owe me_ this one little request if only- "

"Lemme ask you somethin'… Do you think gettin' your memory back will change the last four years?" James challenged her, his eyes boring into hers.

"What? I don't know what you mean."

"Now we know _that_ ain't true." James said with a bitter twist of his lips.

"Why are you being like this? You are acting like you don't even want me near you. And we both know _that's_ not true." Kate challenged him smugly.

"No lies, Freckles. I _don't_ want you anywhere near _me _or _my family_."

"But we-"

"There is no happily ever after here, don't you get it!? The last four years _happened_, whether we like it or not. We are not the same people we were before; we're not even on the same wavelength anymore. You turn up here an' start talkin' 'bout _Ben an' Dharma_, things I left behind the minute we docked on US soil. Didn't hear you ask 'bout the kids or even look for them. You're here for all the wrong reasons you're runnin' from havin' to deal with what matters in order to chase…_I don't owe you shit! _With you comes trouble with a capital 'T', I don't want any part of it, _that_ is the truth." James yelled at her, his lips curling back into a snarl as he got angrier with every word.

Kate drew in a sharp breath, she hadn't thought she was capable of being so hurt again, not after the week she had had. The sting of the truth in his words, burnt like poison oak. Her eyes watered of their own volition, which in turn made her angry, she grit her teeth to stop the sob that was rising in her throat from coming out.

"James-"

"If it's fairytales you're after, _go back to Jack_. I ain't playin' this game, I can't help you an' I don't want-" He spoke softer now, in an attempt to get a rein on his temper.

"_Jack_! He's been a part of it all along! He _knew_ what Juliet was doing to me and he sanctioned it! I _need_ your help, I've got no one else." Kate blurted out desperately.

James quickly recovered from the surprise of her revelation; he hadn't realized that Jack was an active participant in what Juliet and her people had been doing to her off the Island. It really was a brave new world, when the good guys became villains and conmen became heroes. He realized she was watching him expectantly, hope shining in the emerald depths, reflexively he shrugged, the movement non-committal and his face indifferent.

"Sorry, I'm not your guy, so why don't you just leave an' get on your way to single-handedly take Evil Incorporation down or whatever. I've got a life to lead."

"You really want me to leave?"

"Yeah Kate, I do, it was nice of you to stop by, an' should you decide to never come back, I'm pretty fine with that too. When the kids are older I'll tell 'em their mother said hi."

"Fine… I'll leave."

"Good. _Well?_ What are you waitin' for?" James asked impatiently, making a falsely cheerful gesture towards the door.

Kate felt like he had slapped her, she turned away from him and pulling the sunglasses off her head set them on the kitchen table. She didn't know what she had expected but this wasn't going according to plan. Maybe she had been wrong to think that he still cared enough to at least help her make sense of all this. The truth was she couldn't and didn't want to do this alone, she needed him. Her shoulders slumped in defeat, then her mind flashed back to the photo albums that had rested on that exact same spot the week before and she smiled determinedly if not a little grimly. Whipping around to face him again, her face flushed and her eyes gleamed incandescent with fury and the need to lash out.

"I'll just wait for the kids to get home and take them with me."

She saw the look of fear in his eyes and moved in for the kill.

"Yes, if you think you're getting rid of me that easy you're mistaken. I want my kids; I want to be a part of their lives."

James snorted in derision, "Yeah right, you're not layin' your eyes on them let alone takin' them anywhere _without me_."

"That doesn't work for me seeing as I can't stand you."

"I can't stand you either. So now that's settled-" James laughed harshly.

"I'll fight you for them…take you to the Supreme Court if I have to in order to get custody."

James' eyes narrowed dangerously, a feral glint in his eyes as he growled at her threat.

"You're crazy if you think any court in the world would grant you custody. Until a week ago there are well documented records of your heavy medication an' sedation. You think Juliet an' the people she worked for haven't compiled enough evidence that I could access if needs be to prove you're a basket case? An' let's not forget your criminal past before the crash."

"Kate Austen had a criminal record, Katherine Dorf is clean. And you may not have been heavily sedated or suffered amnesia, but you've got a rap sheet the size of Texas that would definitely have them sent into State care." Kate volleyed back.

"You wouldn't do that to them. Not even you would be that-"

"_Try me!_ If you keep them away from me and treat me the way you're treating me now, you'll leave me with no choice. If I can't see them, I've got nothing left to lose." Kate's voice wavered with the force of her conviction.

Her green eyes glowing with the sincerity of her words, she let them sink in. James balled his hands into fists and he brought his face so close to hers they were almost touching. She squashed the fear that sent her heart-rate skyrocketing as the restrained violence rolled off him in waves. Her neck was tilted back at an uncomfortable angle but she held her chin up refusing to be intimidated.

"Kate _so help me God_ if you try to take _my kids away from me_ I'll snap your neck an' _bury you_ in my backyard where I can walk over your grave every day-" His voice was loud enough to shake the rafters.

"Put a sock in it Boy, at the rate you two are carryin' on I may just decide to live forever an' plant _both _your sorry asses in the backyard." Viv snapped, striding into the kitchen with Mel close behind.

Kate started then licking her lip in relief at the interruption turned back to continuing glaring back at James, they were both breathing heavily and neither one was prepared to concede defeat.

"Kate take your things upstairs, Ford, that chair in the front room ain't gonna move itself. I ain't got time for anymore tomfoolery so move it. I won't ask you again." Viv ordered as she disappeared into the pantry and returned with an ice cold pitcher of iced tea.

Mel skirted the irate couple and took down four glasses, sliding them over to Viv who after pouring a glass for Kate she gestured to Mel to give it to her and then slammed the pitcher on the counter top.

"_Now!_"

Both James and Kate jumped at the tone of Viv's voice and throwing each other one more dirty look, shifted gears to do as they had been told.

Mel shook her head at Viv who was pouring herself a glass of iced tea with a smile on her face.

**An hour later**

Kate sat on the bed, her towel wrapped around her tightly and stared at the furnishings of the room, it was strange but she already saw this as her room. She felt more at home in here than she ever had in the apartment she'd shared with Jack. Running her hands down her face she fell back on the bed and stared at the wispy canopy ceiling. Had she really found out the kids were hers just a week ago? It felt like she had aged a dozen years in the interim. From her exchange with James earlier it was clear that a change of tactics were in order if she planned on getting any help from him. He was wrong, she wasn't running away from the kids, she was just trying to catch up. And to pretend that she'd spent the last four years on an extended vacation and try to pick up from where she'd left off after giving birth to Tristan was beyond insane. She had to take control of her life again and in order to do so she was going to get her memories back, and make those people pay.

"Girl, you don't have anything to wear for tomorrow night!" Mel exclaimed as she finished unpacking Kate's things.

The teen had let herself in the room while Kate was showering and started unloading the large backpack. She had carefully set out all of Kate's cosmetics on the dresser top, admiring the expensive products with a knowledgeable eye.

"I thought I'd missed the bash." Kate said wryly, coloring at the memory of James' accurate assessment of her timing.

Mel fixed her startling hazel-green eyes on Kate, "If there is one party you go to in your life, this is it. The whole family is gonna be here, Grandma's got this elaborate thing planned. We all have to dress up and there's a banquet, ballroom dancing, the babies and I are going to put on a show. You don't wanna miss it."

"Well, it's a good thing I won't then." Kate said with a small smile, she was surprised to find that she genuinely meant it.

Mel shut the dresser drawer with finality and dusted her hands dramatically; beaming at Kate she left the room in order to afford the brunette some privacy to change. Kate remained sitting on the bed for a while, a thoughtful look on her face she let her mind wander.

"Kate, hurry up! Viv's about to lose it, we're all waiting for you!" Mel whispered frantically through the door.

"Okay, I'll be right there!" Kate called out, getting up off the bed and rummaging through the chest of drawers for a clean pair of jeans and a tank top.

A few minutes later she made her way down the stairs and smiled tentatively at Viv and the handful of new faces she hadn't seen before.

"Kate, these are my grand-daughters Patsy, Joanna, Cassandra and Martha, girls this is Kate, now we got that out of the way, Kate what are you fixing to eat? We don't have all day and I've got to go and get my nails done." Viv said briskly as she gestured to the counter-top littered with a variety of casserole dishes.

Kate approached the counter-top but was too slow in selecting because Viv handed her a plate laden with food and practically shoved her into a chair at the kitchen table. The other women didn't bat an eyelid as they were through various stages of eating their own food.

"Thank you." Kate said quietly as she ravenously tucked into the delicious meal.

The other women all bantered around her as she ate in silence; furtively studying James' kinswomen with interest. They were all very different from each other, one of them looked like Jennifer Lopez with a tan and the other three had varying shades of a tanned olive-skinned complexion. They all had dark hair and brown eyes like Viv's but what told her they were James' blood relations was the trademark Ford dimples and smile.

"My great-grandmother was Comanche and my paternal grandparents were Creole, so Lord knows what mixture flowed through their veins." Viv supplied at the unspoken question.

"Am I that obvious?" Kate asked with an embarrassed smile.

"No, everyone always wonders. There ain't a race in this country that you won't find in this family. One of the Ford men some generations back was an assortment himself, so it ain't just me. Though that ain't how my mother in law told it… prejudiced bitch."

"Viv!"

"Oh don't give me that Patsy! Where was I? Yes, some people, like Mel here are a culmination of the different ancestors, an' others like James came out as blonde haired, blue-eyed and white as cotton." Viv explained.

"Yep, that's me and Ford alright, genetic anomalies." Mel said with a laugh.

The other women piped up to tease her good-naturedly and Kate watched on with interest. Someone cleared all their dishes and started to load the dishwasher as Mel argued her case with her cousins.

"Mel told you we've got a ballroom dancing/masque theme going on tomorrow night right?" Viv asked as her grandchildren all left the kitchen to go and carry out their various responsibilities.

"Yes she did." Kate replied cautiously.

"Well?"

"Well _what_?" Kate sassed back.

"Can you waltz?" Viv asked sharply.

"No ma'am. I used to dance with my Dad sometimes but I've never learnt to waltz or anything formal like that." Kate replied fearful that she had gone too far with her previous tone.

"Hmmph… no woman should go through life not knowing how to waltz. Makes me wonder what kind of places that doctor boyfriend of yours took you to."

"Benefits and-"

"Didn't mean_ tell_ me! You're gonna have to learn before tomorrow. Ain't got no bodies to spare except for James. You think you can stop yourselves from tearing each other apart long enough for me to usher in my 75th?" Viv asked in a way that made it clear it wasn't a question.

"Yes ma'am, I think I can."

"You think?"

"_I can_." Kate said with a slight tone of irritation.

Viv raised an eyebrow and picking up the phone dialed James' number.

"Don't _what_ me Boy, get your ass in the kitchen. Turns out Catch-me-if-you-can here can't dance, so you're takin' her to the studio for some lessons… I don't remember asking your opinion Boy, get your ass here!" Viv ordered before hanging up the phone.

"Y'all are going into Marshall, by the time you get back I better not hear a single angry word coming out of your mouths until after my party. Won't have you stealing my thunder." Viv snapped as she swept out of the kitchen, leaving Kate all alone to face James who was coming in through the back door.

James walked up to Kate and watched Viv's retreating figure, looking down at Kate's wary face he sighed.

"Come on, you heard the woman."

**A Few Hours Later**

After the strained and silent car ride, Kate had been reluctant to step into the dance studio with James. Luckily a few of his relatives were practicing when they arrived so it forced them both to be civil to each other while James taught her the basic steps of the dance.

The last couple had left, leaving the two of them alone in the large empty room. Kate was gasping for breath as she recovered from the grueling pace James had set. James rolled his eyes as he dragged her up from her slumped position against the mirrored wall, forcing her to stand in front of him again.

"Let go of me! _I can't breathe!_" Kate snapped shrugging of his hands and then leaning into him when she realized her legs wouldn't hold her up without support.

Her hands held onto his flanks through the cotton shirt and she rested her forehead on his chest in order to catch her breath. James kept his arms rigidly at his sides and stared down at the curls resting on him in consternation, he resisted the overwhelming urge to hold her. He had done a good job of holding onto his anger up until now, but as always with Kate, she somehow worked her way under his skin and into his blood, making it almost impossible to distinguish one emotion from the other. Kate pulled away after what felt to James was an eternity and brushed the damp stray tendrils out of her face as she looked up at him.

"Okay, I'm ready." She said hoarsely. Oblivious to how appetizing she looked with her flushed cheeks, husky voice and heaving bosom.

James swallowed painfully, willing the traitorous thoughts away as he slipped his right hand around her waist and slightly around her back; taking her right hand with his left he raised an eyebrow when Kate's arms sagged a little.

"Yes, _I know_, I have to mirror you." Kate groaned, bending her elbows as she slid her left hand higher up his shoulder.

James smirked at her and stepping forward with his right foot started counting out-loud in order for Kate to remember the order better. This time; when they swirled around the room he smiled down at her, she didn't make any mistakes and her eyes twinkled as she fed off his attitude and relaxed a little.

James stopped them as the song ended and strode to the music system housed in the corner to stop the CD. Kate stretched a little and followed him in order to take a drink of water from the half-empty water bottle.

"We can take a break, you're a fast learner." James said grudgingly.

Kate smiled in relief and collapsed against the mirror, crossing her legs Indian style she rested her wrists on her knees and bent her head in exhaustion.

"Dirty Dancing just happened to be my favorite movie growing up. Besides, it's like martial arts but not." Kate said with a small smile.

James looked down at her and debated whether he should reciprocate her small attempt at small talk. The lack of response made Kate look up at him expectantly, the smile though dimmer, still gracing her lips. She patted the floor next to her and raising the plastic container, silently offered him the last of the water in her bottle. He stared at her for a long time before he took the bottle and sitting down next to her drank the last swallow. Kate blinked, in an attempt to hide her relief.

"I read your resumé before the Securicare meetin' in New York, said you were trained in Krav-maga an' Tae Kwon Do. Black belt no less." James sounded impressed.

"Actually with Krav-maga it's not technically a black belt, I'm on what is called expert level." Kate corrected him.

"Yeah well, whatever, point is you could kick some serious ass."

"Yeah, I could kick some serious ass." Kate conceded with a small laugh.

"Always were a fighter…It suits you."

"I'm glad you approve. Jack didn't."

"Yeah well, _Jack's_ an ass." James said with a tired grin.

"Don't I know that now."

James turned to face her, waiting for her to elaborate. She rubbed her hands down her face and then running one hand in her hair loosened the bun holding her curls in check. She finger combed the tangled strands and looking up at James, she smiled sheepishly.

"He knew about the memory stealing, the kids, _everything_. He was part of it… told me it was to _save me_. That they_ gave me_ a new life, one that made me the kind of woman he was proud to have by his side, in exchange I got forced amnesia and Juliet and her cronies are going to go public with my 'excellent' results. I was so blind, it makes me wonder what he saw in me beforehand, was I just some object that needed fixing? _Don't answer that_." Kate said miserably.

"You always see what you want to see Freckles." James commented.

"What does that mean?"

"It means the Hero sold you down the river, played you like a fiddle, an' you were still fightin' tooth an' nail to hold onto him. Even after you found out about Tristan an' the triplets, you went runnin' back to him an' Juliet 'cause _there had to be a good reason_. Turns out he's flawed an' selfish which makes him a human bein', _like everybody else_." James said to her, his tone not unkind.

Kate stared up at him with guilty eyes, and then looked away.

"So you were right about him, that doesn't make what_ you did_ any better. It just means I've got really bad taste in men and the people I choose to trust." Kate said bitterly, his understanding of the situation ate away at her iron-fisted control like acid on ropes.

She grasped for control of her thoughts and emotions, finding it within her anger at the crimes perpetrated against her.

"If you ever wanna hear my side of the story, feel free to ask. Or you can go on right ahead with the hatin' an' blamin' that makes it easier for you to face yourself everyday." James said casually.

She gave a short laugh, "How many times have I asked you to tell me what happened? And I always get shot down. So I'm not going to ask you anymore, besides I know enough. I got screwed, used and abused by you, Juliet, Jack, everyone and I am not going to take it lying down. Someone's going to pay, _they have to_."

James raised his eyebrows at this and prepared to say something, then changed his mind with a defeated head-shake.

"Does that include the kids?"

"Of course not! They are innocent! How can you- Forget it, of course _you_ can-"

"Viv told us to put a sock in it, think we can pretend to get along for the next 48 hours?" He cut her off impatiently.

He didn't know how much more of her vilifying he could take; it was really starting to get to him.

"Actually she told _you_ to put a sock in it, she told _me_ not to steal her thunder by arguing with you."

"Same thing, ain't it?"

"Yes it is. And yes let's call a truce, but you still owe me and I still hate you."

"I know." James said with a grunt as he pulled himself up.

Kate took his proffered hand and let herself be yanked to a standing position; her breasts were dangerously close to touching his chest due to the momentum of the action. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up at him, he gave her a knowing look before he turned away from her in order to turn the CD player back on. She pulled her hair back up into a messy bun and after flexing her muscles, walked to the spot he indicated. This time when he approached her, she had a lid on her treacherous hormones.

"So what did you tell your family about me?"

"The truth."

"What does that mean?"

"Truth is a foreign concept to you ain't it?"

Kate kicked him in the shins.

"I deserved that."

"Yes you did."

"I told them you were on flight 815 with me an' survived."

"Oh."

"I also told them you were the kids' mother seein' as my cousin Joanna took one look at you an' came outside to tell me Tristan had your eyes an' Ali looked like your twin. Like all Fords she's got a real big mouth, so secret's out." James said dryly.

Kate pulled back in his arms and he pulled her back towards him, giving her a warning look as they turned around the room and changed direction. Neither one of them noticing how naturally and in sync they moved together.

"What about the kids do they know?"

"Nope. They ain't gonna. I've made it clear that if anyone so much as _breathes_ a word of it these next two days, they'll wish they were dead." James said matter-of-factly.

"I see. Does that warning include me?"

"You bet your ass it does." James ground out.

"Okay."

James drew back a little to look at her, she smiled up at him.

"For now." She added.

James narrowed his eyes at her but he continued to move her around the floor. He was starting to enjoy himself and he appreciated the irony of the dance as a literal form of expression that embodied their relationship.

"I never would have guessed you could dance like this. So where did a Southern confidence man learn how to waltz?" Kate asked her tone slightly flirtatious.

"The waltz, the tango, table manners an' how to ride a horse were the only things Mary Laura Ford taught me." James said with a vulnerable smile.

"Strange combination."

"Not if you're a Southern belle, it's in their blood. 'Sides got me brownie points with the marks so it paid to remember. "

"Your _family_ is a strange combination, I met your female cousins and then there's Mel. With that kind of diversity I wouldn't have expected Southern belles in the mix." Kate said conversationally, deliberately squashing the flare of jealousy at the mention of all the women he had conned and undoubtedly slept with.

"Yeah well, Ford men are well known for goin' for the prize whatever that particular man may see it as."

"Do they get it?"

"No contest." James said with a flash of dimples.

"I see."

"I don't think you do." James said with a suave smile.

"No, I think I do. I was a prize to be won between you and Jack, and you got me… pregnant twice. Then you got tired of me and tossed me back to Jack." Kate said with a pained smile.

"Wasn't my choice, Peaches."

"I find it strange and totally out of character that you kept the children though." Kate continued, intentionally ignoring his comment.

"Yeah well, with that _strange combination_ Ford blood runnin' through their veins you didn't think Ben an' his buddies would wanna keep them instead didja?"

Kate gasped, "What are you saying?"

"Depends if you wanna hear it or not."

Kate tried to stop dancing but James tightened his grip on her waist and drew her a little closer as he spun them around.

"Let's hear it."

James stared into her eyes and cocked his head to the side.

"I wasn't exactly in the loop but I got the impression they were lookin' for genes that were a little less unpredictable than mine to mate with yours. Like Jack's… things got a little ugly when they found out you were pregnant by me."

"Twice?"

"You couldn't keep your hands off me." James said with a smirk.

Kate rolled her eyes at him.

"So what happened? What did you mean when you said you didn't have a choice?"

"You chose Jack an' the mind-wipe." James said to softly.

Kate's eyes widened as the words sunk in, she blinked her tears away and smiled up at him resolutely.

"There's still a lot you're not telling me."

"Not really."

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Can we just get through the next two days?" James pleaded.

Kate frowned, wondering what it was that would make him want to withhold until after Viv's party. Finally, she nodded in agreement, James released the breath he'd been holding and gave up a silent prayer of thanks at her easy capitulation.

"Teach me the tango." She demanded.

"Which one?"

"The one you _don't_ do horizontally." Kate said with a reluctant laugh and a roll of her eyes.

James chuckled softly and released her. He strode to the CD player and found the appropriate track.

"It's gonna be a pretty basic lesson, we ain't got much time left 'fore I have to go pick up Clem."

"Who's Clem?"

James winced before he turned to look at her, "My daughter."

Kate's eyes widened and James shook his head, "Don't worry she's not yours, got more than one BabyMama… I'll explain later."

Kate threw him a dirty look she had heard that too many times today but acquiesced; strains of the Argentinian tango were filling the room. Hands on hips she waited for James to walk back to her and begin the tango lesson. He wiggled his eyebrows at her as he took her hand and positioned her hips in the right position. She giggled unconsciously at his exaggerated debonair expression, and good-naturedly followed his lead. They didn't notice the way they were once again at ease in each other's company or the frequent smiles and tenderness they exchanged.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don't y'all forget to **press that button and review**! Let me know what you thought.


	16. Chapter 16 Family Business

******My darlings, your reviews and your emails have been such motivators. Grazie milie! From the bottom of my heart.**

This chapter is another pioneering move for me, I told y'all I was going to try and do something different with this fic! Hopefully it's good vs bad. There is a lot of dialogue and drama in this chapter. I hope I didn't lose the plot. If I did it's all my fault, Bestest Beta Bud did some truly amazing things in the two days I gave her to work on this chapter. As working gals it has been tough! I for one am looking forward to an early night after this!

Finale's tonight!! Bites nails I've been spoiled up until about two days ago. Then I stopped because I want to derive some enjoyment and be a little surprised too. I hope it's juicy in the S/Kate department. Those two have been lacking that fire we love so much lately.

Anyhoodle, for all y'all who like long chapters, this is one delivers. Here's hoping it delivers on the quality front too!

Please let me know what you think. I was so close to giving up altogether while I worked on this one! Felt like I'd finally been exposed as a hack, and the tarring and feathering would begin. Still feel that way... Aargh! Rambling! Without further ado...

**Chapter 15 Part 2 –**** Family Business**

Kate watched the tall fair-haired young girl hop out of the back seat, slamming the door carelessly she ran up the steps and into the house, screaming her great-grandmother's name as she went.

Opening her own door she slid out of her seat and turned to glare at James across the windshield of the car. After they had picked up Clem, the little girl had chattered all the way home and Kate had found herself tuning out resentfully. It was ridiculous to feel threatened or jealous of this child but she couldn't help the anger Clem's mere existence sparked.

"So how old is she?"

"Eight goin' on nine." James said softly, he had picked up the change in Kate's body language and general demeanor on the drive back.

Kate nodded and mentally kicked herself for instantaneously calculating how much time that left between the time he'd had whatever he'd had with Clem's mother and the crash on the Island. Walking around to meet him halfway across the hood of the car; she unconsciously stood closer to him than was necessary and smiled up at him distractedly as they lingered, leaning against the warm metal.

"So Clem's mother, Cassidy she was…"

"A mark of mine, I broke my rule of not gettin' attached an' never leavin' any souvenirs." James said in that same soft, careful tone.

Kate rolled her eyes dramatically as she made a scoffing sound and pushed herself away from him and the car she headed for the house. James followed her towards the front steps; scowling at her back wondering what was eating at her. A few moments later it dawned on him and the overall absurdity of her insecurities stirred the embers of his heretofore cooled temper. He lengthened his strides, catching up then overtaking her.

"Freckles-"

"How _noble_ of you to have a rule-" Kate began scathingly before she was interrupted.

"Papa! Papa! You're home!" Four voices chimed in unison as Ali and her brothers ran out the front door and down the steps to greet their father. Ali and Tristan made quite a picture with their hair in some advanced stages of dishevelment. Tristan, who was in the lead, had a bright pink comb clinging tenaciously to his unruly dark brown curls as he sprinted towards them.

James braced himself in preparation for the attack, caught and lifted Tristan onto his shoulders then somehow managed to catch both Ali and David in each arm as they launched themselves at him. Drew brought up the rear, so he ended up latching onto a leg and hopping onto his father's foot he wrapped his arms around the thigh. Kate was more than a little impressed at the expertise in which James handled them and also amused at the state of Tristan and his sister.

"We missed you Papa!" Tristan said leaning over his father's face, he shoved at David who was jostling for James' attention with the other two. James chuckled as he hitched Ali and David higher up on his hips.

"Already? It's only been two days an' one night. I didn't even notice y'all weren't here. Was gonna go book me a flight outta here tonight an' go to Vegas!"

"NO!" Ali and Tristan shouted.

"No!? Why the hell not?" James asked.

"'Cause you're not allowed!" Drew added, patting his father's stomach then poking it sharply in order to make his point clear.

"Ow DC! Not allowed?! I thought _I _was the boss of me!"

"You're not! _I am_!" Tristan exclaimed.

Kate who'd been smiling at the exchange found herself giggling at this.

"_You _are? But you're just a baby, how can that be!?" James asked both surprised and confused.

"I dunno.. But I am!" Tristan said hanging over to stare at James upside down with a serious expression on his face.

The other three kids giggled and watched their father with anticipation; his face was incredulous which made them laugh.

"Kate are you gettin' this?" James asked glancing at her through the one eye Tristan's arm wasn't obscuring.

"I am." She replied, on the verge of laughter herself.

The kids upon noticing Kate started talking all at once.

"Kate!"

"Yay!"

"Yay, you came back!"

She looked at the four small animated faces and wondered again how children so beautiful could have come from her. Or how she could have absolutely no recollection of them either. She reached out a tentative hand and stroked Drew's hair, she hadn't noticed it before but it was exactly like hers. A slightly awed smile lit up her face.

David nudged Tristan and whispered very loudly, "_See_! Nana _told_ you she'd come back!"

Tristan tried to duck behind his father's neck shyly.

"Don't hide behind me son, she can still see you see seein' as I'm _nobody_ an' all... not even a master of my own fate." James grumbled, his tone dry as paper.

The kids giggled as they watched Kate with sparkling eyes, it was as if they were waiting for permission to approach her, James picking up on Kate's wariness and the kids' reaction to her demeanor, raised an eyebrow at them.

"Well ain't you gonna say hello to Kate?"

Tristan pressed into his father even harder as David pushed him towards Kate. Ali and Drew shared no such reservations, Ali leaned across her father's chest and towards Kate while Drew let go of James' leg altogether and held his arms out for her to lift him. She picked him up and the two children planted a kiss on a cheek each. They pulled away and grinned at her, their dimples flashing charmingly as they started tugging on her hands insistently.

"Come on we gotta go inside so you can meet everybody!" Drew announced.

Kate hitched the boy up in her arms to get a better hold on him, this was an entirely new experience for her and her emotions and thoughts were all over the place. Ali released her hold on Kate and patted her father's chest impatiently as a prompt. James nodded, and then gestured at Kate with his chin for her to walk ahead. They shared a brief unguarded smile as they climbed up the steps shoulder to shoulder and went inside.

The kids wriggling away had run ahead into the kitchen; the heat and noise hit the adults like a physical force as they entered. The room was buzzing with people and kids and it seemed like everyone was talking at once. Tristan and Ali were herding all their cousins together in order to introduce Kate. The other children ranged from six to twelve and after a few well placed pinches and nudges from Drew and David they all chorused a "Pleased to meet you Miz Kate." Ali took it upon herself to recite all their names for Kate's benefit while James left the kitchen via the open back door.

A few seconds later Viv walked in through the space James had just exited and stood at the counter wearing her regular outfit of jeans, a vest and an unbuttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up. On top of that she had a white apron on and a wooden spoon in one hand which she was wielding as if it were a scepter. She was barking orders out like a general while Jim followed her in; holding a video camera.

"Tristan, Ali and your brothers get your butts back out here!" Mel called out from outside.

Kate had never heard Mel raise her voice that loud before and when they four troublemakers looked at Kate apologetically before running out of the kitchen, her curiosity was piqued. Everyone else seemed to have vacated the kitchen around the same time so she followed the exodus outside. She found James standing on the porch surveying the scene in the backyard with consternation.

There was a grill going out in the yard and a male cousin Kate did not recognize was manning it. The marquee and its stage had been completely erected. James had explained to her at the studio that tomorrow; there would be wrought iron tables and chairs set out as well as a large canopy in case it rained. The stables were barely visible past all the structures, and then there was the five trailers parked further out in the field, they were accommodating the family members who'd made it down already. Vincent was sniffing around the grill looking for a treat and someone else was building a fire while drinking liberally from the cooler brimming with beers at his feet. The children were now playing tag, shrieking loudly with glee as they ran around.

Mel was sitting on the swing with a few jars of hair products balanced on it and a towel draped on her lap. She was holding the comb Kate had seen dangling in Tristan's hair and she looked fed up. Someone dropped something in the kitchen and Clem screamed at the top of her lungs when a male cousin chased her with a grasshopper he'd found. James scowled at all the heightened noise. Kate unconsciously drew closer to him, overwhelmed by the busy domestic scene. James instinctively shifted his body blocking her view of the backyard it was an unconscious protective gesture. Tristan ran up to them, green eyes twinkling with excitement.

"We're havin' a barbie cue 'cause Grandma doesn't wanna cook for all these good for nuthin's!"

Everyone chose that moment to go silent, and Kate winced at the awkwardness of the situation. James didn't seem to be concerned as he guffawed with laughter. Viv strode out of the kitchen and standing on the top step raised an eyebrow at the others who weren't so amused.

"Well it's_ true_ only good ones here are my grandbabies." She stated emphatically.

Patsy stepped out of the kitchen carrying a large plastic bowl of water and glared at Viv, "_We _are your grandbabies! They are you _great_-grandchildren, Nana!"

The water sloshed over the rim as she gestured towards the three women Kate had met earlier, Mel, Jim and James. The yard was deathly quiet as Viv turned to face Patsy, her brown eyes flinty.

"Kids! Do somethin' cute 'fore your Grandma kills Patsy!" James exclaimed, clapping his hands to galvanize the children who were watching with interest.

Tristan and the triplets ran up to Viv and hugged her legs, looking up at her with their cherubic faces.

"We love you Nana! We really _really, really, really_ do!"

Tristan nudged Ali and she nudged Drew who nudged David.

"An'you're the _best_ Grandma in the _whole world_!" They chimed together.

Viv looked down at the four faces and ruffled all four heads with a gentle loving smile Kate had never seen on the battleaxe's face before. Kate laughed to herself turning a skeptical gaze on James at the successfulness of an obviously well-reversed ploy.

"And Nana loves you too babies."

"Us too! Us too!" The other children called out as they ran up onto the porch to hug their great-grandmother too.

Viv laughed delightedly as she tried to ruffle all of their heads and Patsy and James exchanged a look while the adults breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"Now, go get Vincentina away from that meat cooler or I swear to God I'll make a rug out of her." Viv told the children who all immediately started to scramble away from Vivienne on this new mission to save the dog.

Viv picked up her discarded spoon off of Mel's swing and gave Patsy a look. The younger woman met her head-on, her expression a strange combination of contrition and defiance.

"Ain't you got potatoes to peel?"

"Sir yes sir!" Patsy said sarcastically with a mock-salute that made her slosh more water over the edge of the bowl.

James left Kate's side and went inside to turn the stereo up, thereby ending the brewing argument between Viv and Patsy. The Dixie Chicks blared out as Viv sank onto the swing and beckoned for Ali to sit down so she could finish braiding her hair. The little girl did so very primly, bringing her knees up she rested her arms on them and started humming along to the song.

Kate looked around the porch a little lost; James was talking to Mel who was running the comb through Tristan's hair. The little boy tilted his head up to smile at Mel, she stuck her tongue out at him and they both giggled. The other two boys were in the yard chasing Clem into the kitchen as she ran off with a bag of candy she'd snuck in from home. Patsy, who was sitting on the top step, peeling potatoes, got up and approached her, peeler in hand. Kate felt Jim's camera focus on her and shifted from one foot to another uncomfortably, wondering if she was about to become the center of some new familial mini-drama.

"This ain't no vacation girl, there's Ford mouths to feed!" Patsy said as she thrust the peeler into Kate's hand and propelled her towards the bowl in one fluid motion.

"Okay, I uh-"

"Don't tell me you don't know how to peel potatoes?" Patsy whispered at Kate, surreptitiously glancing at Viv to make sure she couldn't hear her.

"I know how to peel potatoes!" Kate argued defensively.

"How am I supposed to know, you look kinda high maintenance with that expensive lookin' manicure and it ain't like you've said_ two_ words since you got here! Anyway, there's half a sack waitin' for your expertise. I gotta go to the bathroom an' I don't wanna stir up that ol' rattler more than I have tonight." Patsy said in way of explanation as she handed the younger woman a potato then disappeared.

Kate stared at the vegetable like she'd never seen it before and then looked up at the camera still focused on her. Smiling tensely she sat down on the second step and started to peel, giving Jim a challenging glare as the skin fell away from the vegetable smoothly. Jim laughed in admiration of her spirit before he moved on to tape James and Mel bantering about her braiding technique.

"That don't look like the rows Monique does Smelly-"

"That's 'cause she's a hairdresser but mine are better anyway."

"I can't believe you're makin' us dress up black tie Viv, yet the munchkins here are gonna look like they got lost on their way back to 8 Mile."

"It's all part of the show we're putting on 'sides they'll be looking as sharp as all y'all in their tuxes." Mel argued defensively.

"Yeah, right. _This_ I'm gonna have to see."

"Ow Mel! Papa go away you're destructin' her!" Tristan protested plaintively.

"_Distractin' _not destructin' son."

"Distractin'." Tristan repeated softly.

James made a face and ambled over to Viv who was silently braiding Ali's hair in the exact same pattern as Tristan's but wasn't doing the entire head. She was stopping halfway to tie the ends to the half she'd braided with tiny black rubber hair bands. The contrast of the ringlets in the back with the intricate pattern was beautiful.

"Didn't think you'd know how to braid like this Viv." James remarked.

"Hmmph I grew up in much different times to you son, can embroider just about anything, I think I can follow Mel's designs. Now go away you're distracting us all ain't that right Angel?" Viv addressed Ali who nodded emphatically in agreement.

Tristan who had propped his chin on his fist and was looking very unamused, nodded his head slowly too.

James gave Kate a put upon look; she grinned at him and shook her head. James threw his hands up in defeat and went down to talk to Jim who was taping the other children as they tried to herd the dog away from the grill. Kate watched the two women finish the kids' hair in record speed after James' departure. Noticing that Viv's fresh manicure managed to remain immaculate.

She had to admit to herself that this mixed heritage of theirs fascinated her, especially since the family didn't treat it like a dirty secret but appeared to embrace it. What made this all so ironic was that initially everyone including Kate had assumed James Ford was just a racist Southern redneck. She tore her eyes away from her children and glanced over at James surreptitiously. He was laughing at something Jim had said and she found herself smiling at the endearing way he laughed with his whole body.

Mel kissed the top of Tristan's head to let him know she'd finished and he jumped up excitedly. Kate watched as Mel pulled out a hand mirror from underneath the towel and held it out to him. Tristan preened, admiring his hair as he patted it with pride, he only stopped when Ali, finished too, got up to see her reflection. Moving out of the way he let Ali look before their eyes met and they grinned at each other with approval. David and Drew chose that moment to come running onto the porch and Drew sat down in front of his grandmother, giving her a cheeky grin. Viv smiled back as she started to run a comb through his black hair. Kate was unaware of the fact that she was smiling with them.

"Mel make sure my corn-rows are _tight_. I want them lookin' _crisp_, if you don't do them right I'll make you _do them again_, ya heard!" David warned her, pointing his forefinger at the teen authoritatively.

"DC, son that's rude!" James called out from where he stood; he started walking back towards the porch.

"It's not rude Papa it's _true_, I want mine to look _exactly_ like Tree's an' I don't want sissy hair in the back like Ali's!"

"My hair is not sissy, it's _beautiful_ like Kate's when she has it down, right Nana?" Ali protested hotly.

Viv nodded in agreement, and David shrugged obstinately giving Mel a pointed look.

"Okay, okay, I hear you. Now sit down and don't squirm." The teen laughed, drawing him closer she gave him a hug then made him sit on the floor.

James was standing on the bottom step right across from Kate who was shaking her head as she laughed to herself. She was glowing with pleasure at the thought of Ali wishing to emulate her in any way. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other, enjoying the moment.

Patsy reappeared on the threshold, exclaiming loudly, "My good Lord, don't y'all look sharp!"

"_I know!_ We sure look good don't we Aunt Patty?" Tristan agreed.

Every adult in the vicinity chuckled at this, outright laughing when Tristan winked suggestively at his aunt. Patsy clutched at her chest and shook her head reaching out to pinch his cheek; she looked over at James and Kate who were now standing close to each other watching their son's antics as they laughed.

"Don't know how y'all- I mean _you _managed it Ford, but they're all gonna be heartbreakers, especially this one." Patsy commented, recovering from her near slip.

James arched an eyebrow at her in warning and Patsy intentionally avoided looking at Viv whose eyes were boring into her. Kate risked a look up at James whose eyebrow still arched; conveyed a similar warning to her. Moving away he lifted Ali up and told her he loved her hair, particularly the back. The little girl's face broke into a beatific smile as she hugged her father. Kate's visible hurt at James' unintentional rejection earned her a sympathetic look from Patsy before she was offered a bowl of carrots to peel. She smiled in thanks, and sat back down on the step watching and wishing she was the one being carried around in those big strong arms.

Just then a group of men turned round the corner and started making noise. David and his siblings scrambled down the steps to greet their kin. Kate resumed her seat on the second step, staring at yet another addition to the group of Fords, but found herself excited to meet this new group of undoubtedly colorful characters. One of the men walked up the porch to greet the women, when he got to Kate he raked her from head to toe and then back again. She stood up slowly, feeling more than a little self-conscious.

"Jimbo didn't lie, you are _mighty fine_. Mmm!"

Kate flushed but smiled all the same holding her hand out to the well-dressed younger man; she readjusted her assessment of his age, he was definitely not a teenager anymore.

"Name's Jason but you can call me _anythin' you like_ Sweetness."

Kate flushed a little more, gasping in surprise when he ignored her hand and swept her up in a bear hug.

"Don't worry we've _all_ got the 411 on not sayin' nothin' 'bout you an' the kids, but I gotta say it's gonna be the talk of the year finally puttin' a face an' a name to the big family mystery of the last four years… Cousin Ford over there wouldn't talk 'bout it." He whispered into her ear.

"Wanna stop gropin' her J?" James asked coolly from the bottom step.

Jason chuckled then pulled away but not before pinching Kate's butt; winking at both of them he started to sing, "We are a family!"

Getting the kids, Mel and Patsy to join him he formed a train and started to dance around the porch before leading them down the steps. James looking very annoyed narrowed his blue eyes at Kate who was smiling a little too brightly for his tastes. It wasn't like he was jealous or possessive of her so he didn't know what she had to look so satisfied about.

"_What?_"

"Nothing."

"Yeah right." James muttered as he turned to catch the beer can Patsy threw at him.

"Girl, catch! You definitely need to drink a few!" Patsy called out as she threw one at Kate.

The brunette caught the can and looked around her, she knew she had every reason not to feel like celebrating but at the moment while she sat here surrounded by people she did not know but seemed to accept her all the same, she was finding it hard to remember the fear and anger that had been driving her for the last week. Patsy climbed up the steps and sat down next to Kate who mentally shrugging, pulled back the tab and touched her can to Patsy's before she took a swig and smiled.

A half hour later when things had calmed down a little, Tristan appeared at the back-doorway, tugging on his father's leg as he discreetly tried to get his attention. James bent down to hear what the little boy had to say before hefting him up on his shoulders and approaching Kate who was now occupying Viv's vacated seat on the swing.

"Tree here has got somethin' he wants to say." James said enigmatically, his voice and face giving away nothing.

Kate set her drink down and looked up at the two of them expectantly.

"We made you somethin' but then you left without sayin' goodbye." The last part was accusatory.

"Yeah Kate, why did you do that? Did we make you mad? You could've just _told_ us like Papa does." David asked from his position on the floor, he earned himself a sharp reprimand from Mel for the sudden movement.

Kate's eyes flickered over to James', unsure of how to respond. He gave her a sympathetic look but otherwise was of no help. Drew came out from his hiding place in the doorway to sit down next to David; his blue eyes were watching her.

"Do you still wanna give it to Kate?" James asked his sons.

"Yeah." They nodded in agreement.

"So let's go get it then."

"Okay, but first she has to say sorry for leavin' like that." Tristan said persistently, crossing his arms on his father's head.

"Yeah, Kate _alopogise_ first." Ali said joining in the conversation as she walked onto the porch and leaned against the swing in the gap between Kate and Mel.

Her hazel-green eyes which looked larger in her face due to the hairstyle, were studying Kate intently. The adult felt herself flush with guilt, and more than a little embarrassment as everyone else pretended not to hear what was going on. James, Tristan, Ali and her brothers remained still, waiting.

"I'm sorry guys; I should _never _have left without saying goodbye. It was wrong of me, and… I'll never do it again." Kate said solemnly, tears forming a frog in the back of her throat as she wondered for which departure she was apologizing for. Last week's or the one she made years ago for whatever reason.

All four children beamed at her, and she noticed that unlike his siblings Tristan actually had three dimples; one in each cheek and one in his forehead.

"Alopogy accepted. Let's go get her present Papa!" Tristan chirped happily, he clapped his hands together then tugged on James' hair.

Kate smiled at the grimace James made as he entered the kitchen with a happy and waving toddler on his shoulders and two more holding his hands as they skipped alongside him. David from his position on the floor gave her a thumbs up with his toothy grin. Blinking away the moisture in her eyes she met Viv's brown eyes that were looking on with approval from the kitchen table where she was currently stationed. Ducking her head, Kate ignored everyone else's curious stares and picked up her beer, she took a large calming sip.

**That night**

"I don't know 'bout the rest of y'all but I am still stuffed like a Christmas turkey!" Patsy remarked as she patted her full stomach with one hand and covered a yawn with the other.

"So go to bed then!" Jim heckled her from behind his camera.

Patsy made a face and gave him the finger before she turned back to Kate and smirked.

"He's right, I'm goin'. Tomorrow's gonna be a long a day, if you thought today was crazy you ain't seen nothin' yet. My Dad is comin' an' he hasn't spoken to Viv since she cut him out of her will twenty years ago an' left everythin' to Ford an' Jim."

"How many of you are there?" Kate probed.

"My God, you have four kids with Ford an' you don't know anythin' 'bout the mess you've landed yourself in?!"

"You have no idea how little I know."

"Hmm… well, crash course; Viv had five kids, twelve grand-kids an' fourteen great-grand-kids. Two of the three sons are dead an' so are four of the grandchildren. Viv doesn't let us call her Grandma 'cause she says she's not old enough to be one seein' as she spent twenty-odd years battlin' addiction an' not bein' there for any of us._ That's_ the Ford side in a nutshell." Patsy smiled tightly at Kate.

Dusting her hands off she stood up and poured the dregs of her beer onto the dying fire, "Good night y'all, my trailer calls."

There were a few mumbles from the other side of the fire as everyone else got up and headed for their own beds or cars. Kate remained seated, pulling off the necklace she was wearing she studied the painted macaroni mixed with beads that was her present from the kids. Too drowsy to move she nodded in Jim's direction as he packed up his camera and bid her good night. The earth was moist and damp and the fire warm on her face, it felt like being back on the Island, one of the few conscious memories she did not resent. Wrapping the precious gift in her hand she snuggled into the blanket she had around her shoulders and succumbed to sleep by the fire.

James had finished turning on the perimeter alarms and switched off the light in the room, closing the door and entering the code silently. He ran a tired hand through his hair and headed up to his own bed. Pushing the door open he strode to the windows in order to shut the curtains and spied Kate's huddled form by the dying fire. He frowned, what the hell was she doing sleeping out there when she had a bed and a room to herself? Sighing to himself he reached over to pull the cord and shut out the moonlight but something caught his eye. She was moving in her sleep and as he watched she turned onto her back, her body convulsing as she flung her arms out wide. Worried that she was having some kind of memory induced nightmare, James cursed under his breath, letting go of the cord he ran out of the room, and down the stairs to go and wake her up.

"Freckles!" James whispered urgently as she moaned again in her sleep.

Her head was rocking from side to side and her breath hitched in her throat, James shook her shoulders again and fell on her when she jerked away with more strength than he had anticipated. Her body cleaved to his and she ran her hands up his arms, linking her wrists behind his neck. She purred deep in her throat, the sound unbelievably erotic. James drew back as realization of what Kate was dreaming of hit him, hot on its heels was the question of which man she was embracing like that in her sleep. The mere thought that it might be Jack incensed him and he pulled away from her, wrenching her wrists away from him forcefully. The action brought her up into a sitting position and the sudden absence of his warmth woke her up.

"James."

"You wanna put on your porno show somewhere a little less open?"

"What?" Kate prayed the darkness hid the flush on her face.

James released her wrists that he still held in a bruising grip and he stood up swiftly, leaving Kate still disorientated on the earthen floor. Puzzled she put the necklace she'd still been clutching back on and got to her feet slowly. Trying to see James in the starlight she drew the blanket around her and waited for him to speak. He made a sound of irritation in the back of his throat as he headed back for the house. They sat down on the top porch step and stared out at the changed landscape; she studied his profile in the dim light and sighed to herself in defeat. No matter what she felt about him as a person, the man was a physically beautiful specimen, of that she was in no doubt. And it did not surprise her that she had been dreaming of sex with him on Juliet's kitchen table on the Island. From what she knew of herself; and more specifically of herself when she was around him, she was under no doubts that the dream was most likely a memory.

"I'm not trying to start a fight but I think you should think about what I said about finding out what they did to me and how to fix this."

"Why am I not surprised that you remember the rules on a _truce_ only if it suits you?"

"Things happened to us on that Island, good things but also very bad things, I don't need my memory back to see that but I need to know what they did and how to reverse it, can't you understand that?" She grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her.

"Yeah I can, Freckles. But you're on a revenge kick an' it never ends well, no matter how Uma Thurman made it look in Kill Bill, that was a movie an' this is real life."

"All these years since the Island… I've dreamt of arms holding me, a man kissing me and comforting me. I can feel him, every part of his body, every contour is known to me like the back of my hand. He's as real as you and me but I've never seen his face or felt anything that would have told me exactly who he was. I thought it was someone or something I conjured up in my mind to help me deal, but it wasn't. It's you."

A muscle ticked in his jaw it was clenched very tightly as he stared at her in the starlight.

"We spent almost _two years_ of my life together _every day_ and I have almost no recollection of it. So what else is there, that is important for me to know, that has _made me who I am_? Lying in a dusty vault in my brain for some reason? Don't you see that I have to at least _try_? Don't you see that they can't get away with it? That's what they've been doing since Rousseau went to that Island with her team. I can't be like those other people, lost and abandoned to a fate worse than death. And I know that you know it too. If you just _help me _you know-"

"That's enough."

"But-"

"I said that's enough. Change the topic or go to bed." James grit out his voice so low it was almost a growl.

Kate held her hands up in misery and then ran her fingers through her hair; she wrapped her arms around herself, and searched for a more neutral topic. For a day that had started off alone with an unquenchable thirst for vengeance, she had ended up thoroughly enjoying herself. It wouldn't be right for it to end on a sour note when it didn't have to.

"For this ballroom dancing thing to work, everybody is going to have a pair…" Kate ventured in a conciliatory tone.

"Yeah, so?"

"_So_… do you have a date for tomorrow?"

"A date!? What the hell is this? The eighth grade?"

Kate gave him a pointed look in response. He reciprocated it sarcastically raising both eyebrows. Then he tilted his head to the side, his features shifting, his lips stretched into a lazy smile.

"Do _you_?" James glanced at her side-ways and the grin widened.

"Your cousin Jim asked me out, and he's handsome by anyone's standards. Looks like Wentworth Miller when he did Prison Break with the close shaven hair and chiseled face. Then there's the steely blue eyed stare you Fords seem to have patented." Kate said lightly.

"He's also got a pregnant tough-as-nails fiancée that'll shoot you dead for lookin' at him the wrong way."

James couldn't believe it but he felt a stab of jealousy at the mention of Jim.

"There's always a catch." Kate continued in that same light tone, she wasn't sure but it felt a lot like she was flirting with him.

James finally turned to look at her, leaning his back against the balustrade, his entire body faced her too.

"You can say that again." The answer was loaded with hidden meaning.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"I got two BabyMama's comin' to this shindig, I don't need a _date_, I need a twin."

"So I'll finally meet 'Aunt Cassidy'… I take it you're more than just friends?"

"Yeah, we're Clem's parents."

"No need to get touchy." Kate laughed.

"Don't give me a reason to. An' speakin' of Cassidy if you don't mind, I'd very much like to get laid tomorrow night so don't ruin it for me."

Her laughter died, and she narrowed her eyes at him, "With me here?! That's classy-"

"Actually it's none of your business."

"So why aren't you two married? Or together at least?"

"I've got four reasons sleepin' upstairs for starters." James said with a weariness that implied the kids must have been a contentious issue more times than he could count.

Kate's heart did a small flip in excitement; it had only been a minute since he'd mentioned his plans with Cassidy tomorrow night but the pain in her chest felt like it had been longer. She prayed her elation didn't show on her face. Her confidence restored, she felt the need to torture him a little in return.

"Ahh…I could take care of that problem for you."

"We've agreed a truce Freckles, I let the TakeDownDharmaMission talk slide but _that_ was the first shot in the DM zone… don't push it." James warned, his face showing just how close she was to the line.

"I was just saying."

"Well don't."

"Okay! Remind me not to joke with you ever again."

"Just make that part of the package deal when you leave an' don't come back."

"Screw you."

"Been there, done that had the bust lip, black eye, bite an' scratch marks to show for it."

"Aargh! You are s-"

"Hey Peaches, why dontcha do all of us both a favor an' get your fire-breathin' ass _to bed_, so _I _can get some shuteye?" James cut her off with a tired yawn.

His heavy-lidded request took all the wind out of her sails and she conceded he looked so much like Drew did the last time she'd been here when Viv had read the bedtime story. Standing up she offered him a hand and he looked up at her with a combination of amusement and exhaustion as he pulled himself up. Kate hadn't distributed her weight evenly enough so she stumbled forward and fell against him. Their chests brushed against each other for a moment as he reached out with his other arm to steady her. She looked up at him and he groaned in irritation as the electric jolt from their momentary contact coursed through him. Pushing her away he gestured for her to precede him. She led the way inside, smiling to herself as they made their way upstairs, her lips stretched even further when he strode straight past her door and stepping into his room, slammed the door shut behind him. 

**The Next Day - Noon**

Viv pushed the door open and stepped into the room, impatiently gesturing for Kate to follow suit. The brunette tentatively did as she was told, surveying the bedroom with fascinated disbelief. The breeze wafted through the windows blowing the wispy dusky rose curtains in the gentle wind. Kate noted the four-poster canopy bed with its identical rose curtains, the antique elaborate vanity that took up one entire wall of the room and the closet doors that Viv opened with a flourish to reveal a large walk-in closet. Kate walked into the closet and surveyed the array of hats, furs, shoes and dresses with wonder, she was standing in designer-ridden fantasy, and she gingerly reached out to stroke the selection of furs.

"Don't be putting your dirty mitts all over my couture." Viv admonished, gently slapping Kate's hands off the white mink she was touching with awe.

Chastised, Kate turned back to look at the pictures that graced the vanity noting there was one of a brown haired man with his arm wrapped around a pretty blonde haired woman who was holding an equally blonde little boy. There was another one of a black-haired man with dark blue eyes, dimples dressed in rodeo clothes, smiling at into the camera. It was well-preserved but Kate could tell the picture was quite old. She bent down to pick up one of the triplets, Tristan, Clem, Mel and James sitting on the front porch steps laughing. She stroked the frame a wistful smile on her face as she wondered what had been so funny.

Viv pulled a dress bag on a hanger off the rail and approached Kate, gesturing for her to take it. Carefully setting the picture down in its original place the younger woman accepted the proffered item with a puzzled look on her face.

"Don't just stand there, try it on!" Viv prompted impatiently, hands on hips.

Kate unzipped the bag and stared at the dress in shock. It was emerald green silk satin with a blue depth to it. She laid it out reverently on the bed and just stared at the exquisite floor-length strapless sheath that flared from the knee revealing frothy layered blue-black petticoat underneath.

"Viv this is vintage couture, I recognize the style from when I studied fashion in the early days at Securicare." She whispered reverentially.

"It wasn't vintage when I bought it. Try it on for God sakes, I got things to do."

Kate swallowed and picking up the dress, stepped into Viv's ensuite bathroom, shutting the door she washed her hands first before discarding her jeans and t-shirt for the dress. When she stepped out, Viv nodded with approval.

"I knew it would fit you perfectly. Turn around."

Kate stopped mid-pivot when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked greener than ever as they seemed to reflect the depth of color in the dress.

"The label is Ungaro… I've never seen this dress anywhere before." Kate remarked, still whispering.

"I should hope not, he made that dress a one of a kind just for me… but it's yours now." Viv replied tartly as she approached Kate, and circled her with a critical eye.

Kate met Viv's eyes in the mirror and gestured to the slit in the right leg of the dress that flashed her calf and some thigh.

"Viv, I can't accept this, it's just too beautiful… and unique."

Viv crossed her arms and leaned against her vanity, her brown eyes glistening unnaturally as she picked up the picture of the man, woman and little boy. Kate waited apprehensively; the image made her sad and even though she had never seen pictures of James' parents something told her that was them.

"I asked him to make it for Mary, and he worked like a madman to get it just right. When I touched down in New Orleans, Mary and my son were both dead. Dress has never been worn and it's meant to be."

Kate felt answering tears well up in her eyes as the horror of James' loss hit home again; she couldn't understand how anyone could have intentionally orphaned their child like that. Blinking back the moisture when Viv gave her a warning look, Kate excused herself and went to take the dress off.

When she came back in the room she put the dress back on its hanger and in the bag before turning to face Viv who was studying the dozen or so pictures on her dresser.

"I've got duplicates of all my pictures in my house in Marshall. When the memory goes, I'll need something to jog my brain. Can't forget the ones I love… Lord knows I've pumped it with enough pills to make it a very possible reality."

"You've got your own house in Marshall? I thought this was yours too."

"No… it's Ford's he refurbished and extended this place with a lot of heart, it's his more than mine."

Kate approached the table and waited for Viv to continue, when the older woman didn't say anything else she tried again.

"Viv, I can't accept the dress, I'll go into Marshall with you or someone and buy something instead."

The petite woman didn't turn around as she picked up the picture of James, Mel, Clem and the kids.

"My grandson ain't no quitter, he's a Ford so that makes him a fighter. It may not mean much to you now 'cause you're fixing for a fight and want to get yourself killed or recaptured by those awful people, but he did the best he could."

Kate felt her eyes well up again.

"Viv I- "

"Don't wanna hear it. You're not ready to talk sense an' I ain't got the patience for crap. Whole clan's going to be here in a few hours and there'll be plenty of that to have me cleaning out my ears for the rest of my days." Viv cut her off tartly, her brown eyes flashed as she gave Kate a knowing look.

The younger woman was silent, trying very hard to bite her tongue and even harder not to cry. Viv's face softened and she took Kate's hand in hers while she still held onto the picture with the other.

"So do us all a favor and quit hiding behind your hate and bitterness. Just enjoy yourself tonight; if you still plan on going after those people…"

Kate nodded in confirmation of her intentions. She saw the brief look of disappointment flitter across Viv's face and looked away.

"Stubborn girl…It might be the last chance you get to let your hair down and just be a woman. So when the photographer wants to take your picture or someone asks you to dance, just do it."

"Viv, I can't just-"

"You are a part of this family whether Ford and you like it or not, and we all treat you like one of us, _because you are_. If everyone else is going to put aside their petty differences and don't let all the bantering fool you there are plenty... _so shall you_."

Kate swallowed convulsively, touched beyond measure at the sincerity in Viv's voice. She brought her hand to cover the one holding hers, and battled for control of her emotions. Viv waited patiently and when Kate had regained her composure she withdrew. The older woman continued to stare at the picture in her slightly trembling hands.

"You _will _wear that dress tonight my dear, and you will also accept it as my gift to you. It's been unworn for almost thirty years and it's taken on a life of its own. Gotta let go… At the end of the day it's just a dress, time to stop making it anything more."

Kate thought of the toy plane she'd moved heaven and earth to get, she had no idea what had happened to it and it dawned on her that she hadn't thought about it at all after their rescue. Somewhere along the way, she'd let it and Tom go, when that had happened she did not know but she suspected that if found out the reasons why she would also find the inner peace she was searching for now.

She stared at the picture in Viv's hands and felt herself giving in, after all it wasn't everyday that someone got offered a brand new one of a kind piece of fashion history.

"Okay. And _thank you_."

"Good girl." Viv said proudly, replacing the picture and dusting her hands she turned to Kate, hands on hips.

"Now shoo, I need to lie down and recharge my batteries, seventy-five... I certainly ain't a spring chicken no more."

Kate smiled at Viv and on a whim bent down to hug the smaller woman quickly; practically sprinting, she picked up her dress and left before Viv could berate her. Had she looked back she would have been pleasantly surprised to see the fond smile on Viv's face.

**Mid-afternoon**

Kate rounded the corner, her laughing fit not yet over as she tried to get over the image of Mel, Clem, Tristan and the triplets teaching her how to "drop it like it's hot". The fact that the boys had collapsed into fits of giggles while Ali and Clem took it a lot more seriously had made the entire exercise even more hilarious. She shook her head ruefully, trying to remember what her life had been like before she'd come to Texas a few months ago. Her smile grew wider when she spied James walking down the front steps; he was heading for the black truck parked out front. She hadn't seen him all day except for a glimpse when he'd wished her a good morning earlier and she wanted to share this story with him.

Picking up her pace she strode towards him but froze in her tracks when she saw him pull the truck door open and accept a box from a brunette woman in what she was fast realizing was the Texan national dress of jeans, a tank-top and a plaid shirt on top. They were speaking too softly for Kate to hear but she could tell from their body language that it was something intimate. The brunette kissed James on the lips in greeting then when Jason approached, taking the box from James; she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper. Kate narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms, seething at the brazenness of this other woman's behavior; she marched over to the truck stopping when she was a mere foot away from the couple. She cleared her throat loudly.

James pulled away and Cassidy's blue eyes fell on Kate's scowling face. Both women did a double-take. James upon seeing Kate, groaned, how long had she been standing there?

"Lucy!"

"Cassidy!"

The two women smiled at each other hesitating for a moment they embraced each other tightly; James gaped at them both completely perplexed.

"_What's that now?_"

"I'm so happy to see you! I had a feeling you weren't dead."

"Yeah well that's kind of a secret. Kate Austen died in Australia for all intents and purposes."

"I know I saw it on the news, it was a case of mistaken identity, _you're _Katherine Dorf." Cassidy said matter-of-factly as she pulled away and shut the car door.

"You two _know each other_?!?" James asked incredulously.

His mind already seeing the family reaction when they found out that the mothers of his children were acquainted; he winced. He would never live this one down.

Kate turned to look at him, "Yeah, we met years ago."

James was floored. Kate smiled at him wryly; this latest development had just floored her too. Had she really interrupted their kiss because she had felt jealous? That couldn't be right could it?

They all headed for the front porch, James carrying Cassidy's overnight bag while she carried a dress bag. The two women walked arm in arm, happy to see each other again but also very aware of the common factor that had crossed their paths for a second time.

"So at least I now know his name, and where he lives." Kate joked lamely.

Cassidy laughed, "Yeah you do! But don't toast him please, I still love him and things are good between us."

Kate risked a quick glance at James as all three of them climbed the steps side by side; looking away again she smiled back tightly at Cassidy.

"How the hell do you two know each other?" James asked impatiently setting the bag down in front of the door he turned to look at the two women; they were still standing on the top step.

"I met Kate just after you conned me."

James looked decidedly uncomfortable. Kate's eyes were burning holes into his face and he didn't dare look at her.

"You remember that don't you _Sawyer_? When you stole all her money, broke her heart and left her pregnant and stranded?" Kate demanded bitterly.

How dare he ignore her, she was standing right there! She also remembered all too well the way she had felt when he had stolen the guns back on the Island.

"I didn't know she was pregnant!" James said defensively.

"'Cause then you _would_ have_ stayed_ right?" Kate asked sarcastically.

James took a step towards her and she moved to meet him halfway, suddenly furious with him. How could Clem's mother be one of the only people on the planet that had ever helped her for genuine reasons? It was just like him to ruin even this for her too.

"Maybe." James ground out.

"Well that makes it okay then!"

James narrowed his eyes at her, his lips curled back he took another step towards her; they were almost touching now. Kate closed the gap, eyes flashing and hands on hips she was ready for battle. Cassidy watched the two of them and realized with dawning horror exactly who Kate was and what was going on here.

"I'm the one who got conned and left pregnant and alone, I'm not angry… anymore." Cassidy interrupted.

James and Kate sized each other up and turned to look at Cassidy, it was clear from the expressions on their faces that they had forgotten she was even there.

"You told me to turn him in and after I did, I got over it. Thanks Kate."

James' eyes widened and he turned to glare at Kate, she shrugged with indifference.

"Yeah, _thanks Kate_." His reiterated caustically.

"You deserved it."

"Oh that's rich… comin' from you."

"_Coming from me!?_ Is that supposed to _offend_ me?"

Cassidy pushed them apart, "Okay, okay, let's just forget about that, it's Viv's birthday party and I'm pretty sure she'll hit the roof if she sees you two fighting. James I think you should take my bag inside and Kate… why don't we stay here and catch up?"

James cast Kate one more dirty look and picking up Cassidy's bag went inside, leaving the two women alone. Kate smiled apologetically at Cassidy and they leaned on the porch railing looking out at the magnolia tree-lined driveway. After a few minutes Cassidy turned around and leaning her back on the railing studied Kate with an inscrutable look on her face.

"So you tell me to turn him in and then four years later end up in a plane crash with him. Out of forty-something survivors, half of them women, you two get together and voilà the reason why him and I aren't together."

"How-"

"It's the hair, Tristan's eyes… Ali… Tristan…" Cassidy supplied helpfully.

Kate wondered how she could have been so blind when everyone else only needed to take one look at her to see she was the kids' mother. James stepped back out onto the porch and stood behind his rocking chair, holding onto the back of it, Kate admired his long golden fingers. Then guiltily looked at Cassidy before looking away, her cheeks bore a dull rose stain. The silence was long and strained, the tension between James and Kate overshadowing the growing tension between all three of them.

"Are you two in love?" Cassidy asked rather bluntly.

Kate's eyes flew up to James' then away, "_No!_ I can't _stand_ him!" She denied vehemently.

James laughed harshly, "_Not a chance_."

Cassidy saw the way the two of them glower at each other, and felt herself relax a little.

"Okay, I'm going to take my dress inside, and I'll be right back."

"I'll come with you." Kate volunteered.

Cassidy looked back at the younger woman and nodded, pulling the door open she stepped inside. James grabbed Kate's arm as she walked past, and Cassidy turning back to say something to Kate caught the entire exchange.

"_Don't_ ruin this for me."

"I wouldn't _waste my time_, in case you haven't been listening to me; I've got bigger fish to fry." Kate hissed nastily.

She shrugged his hand off, shoving him a little for emphasis at how strongly she objected to his touch. James chuckled holding his hands up in mock surrender and stepped away from her. Kate pulled the screen door back with violent force and let it slam behind her. She shook her head with exasperation at Cassidy's silent question, indicating they proceed. The brunette did so, a sinking feeling in her chest. She had seen the look that had passed between the two of them before James had grabbed Kate's arm, it told her everything she needed to know. 

**Half an Hour Later**

"It's never been about the kids and them being too young, needing all your time and attention… _she's_ the reason why you won't commit to me!"

"Cass! That's not true."

"Isn't it? I_ saw_ the way you looked at her! It's the way_ I look at you_! The way _I want you to look at me_! How did I tell myself _this time _would be different!?"

"Cass-"

"Do you love her?"

"Hell no!"

Cassidy brought her hands up to her face and then brought them back down again. They were standing near the driveway entrance, the only place they could get away from prying eyes so close to the party. Cassidy had spent the last twenty minutes catching up with Kate and what she had read in-between the lines told her there was definitely something going on between these two. And it wasn't just animal lust; the way they swung from amicable to angry earlier combined with the air of intimacy that hung between them whether they were fighting or not, told her that.

"Last week when you came to my house and you were so messed up… The kids mentioned how Kate had left without saying goodbye, and you looked like you'd been _ripped apart_ physically and emotionally. "Mary the mare" didn't throw you did she? That was Kate, right?"

"Don't do this Cass."

"_Right!?_ _She_ did that to you, didn't she?"

"Yes."

Cassidy felt tears well up in her eyes and reached out to slap him as hard as she could, she flailed at him with her fists and he grabbed her hands. They were both breathing heavy as the weight of realization hit them both.

James realized that regardless of everything, Kate really was the only woman that really got to him, even now, when he was supposedly wiser and older.

Cassidy's eyes met Kate's; at some point she had run out of the house and towards them, the possessive look in her eyes scared the older woman. They stared at each other for a long time finally Cassidy eased her hands out of James' and approached Kate.

"In another life we must have been sisters Lucy… or part of the same harem. I saw what you did to him last week, nice work."

"Cass! _Freckles, you keep your trap shut and go back inside this don't concern you_." James warned.

i"Thanks Cassidy. I didn't iknow it was going to be _graded_, I would have done a better job." Kate replied defiantly, ignoring James completely.

Cassidy laughed humorlessly and balled her hands into fists, Kate shrugged, and loosening her limbs she braced herself ready to defend herself.

"And _what the hell _do you two think you're doin'?" James ground out.

"Just talking." Cassidy said without turning around.

"So you _do_ admit that there is something between you?" Cassidy pressed Kate.

Kate's eyes flickered to James', the warning in the sapphire depths irked her.

"That's between me and him…I don't share." Kate said coldly.

She had not meant for those last words to come out at all but they had. Mentally shrugging she decided it would be best to analyze why she was staking her claim to a man she didn't want later.

"Well _of course_ you don't _why_ would _you_." Cassidy said on a defeated sob, running to the house.

Kate remorsefully watched her go, all the anger draining out of her. Sadly, she reasoned that it was safe to assume that Cassidy wouldn't be coming to her aid again anytime soon.

She could feel the daggers James was shooting at her and she refused to look at him. They stood there on the driveway both excruciatingly aware of each other but too stubborn to acknowledge the other's presence. James shook his head, accepting that he would never figure out what exactly went on in Kate's mind and left her standing there on her own as he too headed for the house. Kate dragged a hand through her hair and followed him, wondering exactly what kind of demon possessed her whenever she was around James.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did y'all think? Should I just quit now, or should we see the rest of this fic through? Let me know, **press that button and review!**


	17. Chapter 16 Part 2 The Dolphin's Cry

_**Laura, Sivan, KT, Sawar, Mathildou** and** EM** y'all are so good to me! I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn't for your reviews, I would have stopped updating this story on this site! So keep them coming! ; )_

_Thanks go to my **Bestest Beta Bud** for her overall awesomeness and tireless beta-ing. _

_This is the final instalment in the Viv party celebrations, I know some of y'all will be happy with our two protagonists at the end of this chapter. _

_Enjoy, my darlings, this is the longest chapter yet!_

**Chapter 16 part 2 – The Dolphin's Cry**

Kate stared at her reflection in the mirror; fortunately she had packed all her favorite lingerie which included her best. The black satin and lace complimented her complexion and figure like nothing else and she decided it was the only thing that would do the dress any justice. Her hair swept up in a sleek beautifully intricate chignon, makeup already applied, all she had left to do was put on the couture and she would be ready to join everyone downstairs.

After Mel had done her hair, the teen had brought her a pair Manolo Blahnik black satin Mary Jane pumps telling Kate that James had bought them for her but she was too young to wear them. The genuine kindness of this family always took her breath away, and as Mel shut the door she had turned to look at her smiling reflection; then Tom's lifeless body had popped up in the corner of her eye. Whipping around she saw nothing and when she looked around the room again her vision became distorted. The walls were shifting, narrowing and crowding in on her so close that she was gasping for breath. Kate felt trapped, claustrophobic and alone as her newly restored memories galloped through her brain, neck-and-neck with the shadowy nightmarish images she still saw but couldn't place. Her conscience piped up in the melée in her mind to demand of her what she was doing here, smiling and happy when she didn't deserve to be. She was supposed to be out tracking down Sayid, unraveling the secrets that surrounded her past. Yet here she was, putting all that on the back-burner and lapping up all the affection and kindness she could get from the Ford family.

How could these people accept her as she was, the majority of them must know what she'd done to Wayne, Tom and Jason. If they hadn't known before, Kate was sure Cassidy had filled in the blanks. And if not that, then what about all the things she'd done after the crash; leaving James and the kids? As much as it hurt to admit she knew herself well enough to know that being tied down with a child let alone four of them was not and had never been on her list of things to do. Yet it appeared for all intents and purposes that even with as many children as she'd had, no maternal instincts had kicked in back then, how else could she have chosen to go with Jack and the Others when Tristan was a week old? Was she really that heartless? She was here now and she still didn't know how to be around them. Then she remembered James leaving her all alone in those bear cages while he walked away, not looking back. How could the loving father she saw now have done something so unfeeling and cold to her? A silent scream rose up in her chest, the noise in her head building up to a deafening crescendo. She clapped her hands to her ears and pressed on them as hard as she could, a whimper escaping past her lips.

"Kate! Hurry up; everyone's waiting out front for you!" Mel whispered through the door.

"I'll be right there!" Kate called out, shakily.

Her eyes fell on the dress hanging on the closet door. Viv's words rang through her head and all the building fear and panic sighed out of her. Whatever she may think of the grandson, Viv wouldn't lie to her, there had to be more to all of this than James collaborating with the Others; she'd seen it in his face last night. He wasn't as apathetic to her pleas as she'd initially thought, and Viv's words earlier today reinforced that. The noise in her head had subsided enough for her to cram it and the images that came with it into one of her many mental closets; and although the urge to run was still there it was more like a dull ripple in the pool.

For the first time ever, her heart and even her body were content to stay here even if her mind was not. Shrugging mentally, a determined smile gracing her lips, Kate pulled the dress off its hanger and stepped into it deciding to do just as Viv had suggested and enjoy herself tonight, one more day wouldn't make that much of a difference. She had been clueless for years now; her quest could wait one more day.

James stood at the foot of the stairs fist curled on the newel with impatience; he could just throttle her for delaying everyone like this. What the hell was she doing? First she came back here and did her usual back and forth dance. Then she started to relax in a way James had never seen her do in all the time he'd known her; charming his children and his family. Then she drove Cassidy away for no discernible reason other than just to be spiteful, he would never understand the woman, and the sooner they got this night over with and she went back on her merry way, the better he'd feel. He was on the precipice of something with her and he knew better than to let himself fall over the edge, with Kate there never was a safety net or a safe landing.

Opening the front door, someone yelled if they were ready yet he stepped out to say they were but his eyes met Viv's and gritting his teeth from the look on her face he grudgingly told them to wait a minute. Slamming the door shut he turned to run up the stairs so he could drag her out but she saved him the trouble. Standing on the landing, Kate was poised to descend. His heart skipped a beat as he took in the green dress with its white froth of petticoats underneath, the creamy skin that threatened to spill over the top of the dress and the elegant neck that held up one of the most earth-shatteringly beautiful faces he'd ever seen. She took her first steps down, and the scowl slipped from his face as he caught his first glimpse of well muscled leg and some thigh.

Kate smiled seductively when she saw James tilt his head in that predatory way of his, blue eyes raking her body so hotly it felt like a physical touch; she felt a shiver snake down her spine. He looked criminally handsome in his tuxedo and crisp white shirt and black bow-tie.

"Molasses move faster than you… come the fuck on! Photographer wants to take the picture before we lose the natural light an' the clan's 'bout to murder each other out there." James said impatiently.

Her smile faltered and she hurried down the remainder of the stairs, gasping in surprise when he grabbed her upper arm and practically dragged her out the door. James smirked a little in satisfaction at her reaction, his body temperature had sky-rocketed past the danger point with her in that dress, ruffling her feathers was a great balm for his growing erection and self-loathing.

**One Hour Later**

"Shake it, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture…Damnit Ford, that was quite a show the babies put on!" Jay commented, with an impressed shake of his head.

"I should hope so, they've been rehearsin' for two months with Mel, do you know how many times I've been told to get outta my own house 'cause it has to be a surprise?" James commented dryly, taking another sip of his champagne.

"I can't believe how well they dance and they're so young." Kate added she was glowing with pride.

"Yeah well, the rhythm gene might've skipped Ford here but all five babies got it in spades. He can't dance freestyle to save his life."

"Yeah well, we all know that when it comes to the humpty dance, y'all ain't got shit on me." James replied.

Jim chuckled, "True story, when we were 13 he'd bring girls back to my parent's house at lunchtime for-"

"Oh my God don't say anymore Jimmy!" Cassidy warned him.

Kate's eyes widened as she turned to her left to look at James, he drained his glass and arched an eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"You… _started... at thirteen!?_"

"Actually he was a couple days shy of thirteen an' I was fourteen when we lost our cherries. With Ford here it was a mere formality, hehe but the hooker-"

"Tallulah." James corrected.

"Sorry, _Tallulah_. See why he's so good at removin' the panties? Attention to detail." Jim chuckled pleasantly.

"A prostitute?" Kate accused James.

"She didn't charge, I was that good. 'Sides I don't discriminate always been an equal opportunities kinda man." James said with cocky grin.

Jim nodded in agreement, Kate didn't think her jaw could drop any lower.

James shrugged confidently, a charming twist to his lips, "It's a fact Sweetheart… I was just born a master in the sheets, ain't it?"

"I wouldn't know."

James scowled at her; Jason beat him to the punch with a guffaw of laughter.

"Losin' your touch ole man?"

"Not a chance… Kate here just don't know how to ask nice."

Kate choked on her champagne; James reached over and thumped her back soundly, a smirk on his face as her green eyes shot daggers at him. Cassidy rolled her eyes, and pushing her chair back marched away from the table.

Jim and Jason exchanged a look and James got up, throwing his napkin on the table he went after Cassidy. Kate watched him retreat with narrowed eyes. Before she could get up to follow them, Tristan came running up to her, dancing around excitedly.

"So what did you think Kate?!"

Her eyes fell on the dancing little boy and her face softened into a beatific smile, "I thought you were amazing."

"Us too, right?" The triplets demanded crowding around Kate excitedly.

"Yes of course, all of you." Kate said cautiously, worried that the others had taken offence.

The four children jumped around excitedly.

"What's all this caterwaulin' about? Shouldn't y'all be signin' autographs or somethin'?" James demanded gruffly returning to the table, Cassidy and Clem in tow.

"Papa! Didja like it!?"

"Were you surprised!?"

James picked up Ali who looked like a little angel in her little white tux and kissed her, "I nearly had a heart-attack I was so shocked, how's that for ya?"

"Perfect!" Ali giggled hugging his neck tightly.

"Is that a fact?"

"Unh-huh."

James made a face and plopping Ali on Kate's lap, picked up the three boys, Tristan with his position of pride on his father's shoulders. They were squealing with excitement as they poked and prodded their father. Ali turned to smile at Kate, laughing along with her siblings. Just then the photographer approached and asking them to look at him, he snapped a couple pictures of them.

Kate's eyes met James' when he set Tristan down close to her and the little boy commented on her dress.

"You look so beautiful Kate!" He stroked the fabric, and looked up at her with an awed smile on his face.

"Thank you Tristan, you're looking very handsome in that tuxedo yourself… All of you are." She added at the end, she made eye contact with Clem including the little girl in her assessment.

The children beamed brightly, Ali kissed her cheek before she wriggled off her lap and ran towards her great-grandmother her siblings and Clem in tow. Kate brought a hand up to her cheek and kept it there for a second, her eyes meeting James' again; his expression was inscrutable. He sat down again, and his eyes met Cassidy's, the other woman's face was like thunder.

"So Kate you an' Cass know each other from way back when, huh?" Jim probed, his curiosity piqued.

"Yeah we do, it's a small world." Kate replied evenly, her eyes met Cassidy's and for a brief moment both women forgot their mutual antipathy and smiled at each other.

"An' Ford didn't know you two knew each other?" Jim pressed.

James kicked Jim from under the table as Kate nodded.

"So that means that you've literally slept wit' so many women that two of them from totally different parts of the country know each other from way back an' are your Babymama's!?" Jim said, laughing so hard he had trouble getting the last words out.

Kate raised her eyebrows, James and Cassidy both frowned while Jim, Jason, and their partners laughed hysterically, the man Cassidy had brought as an impromptu date looked puzzled.

"Laugh it up, Jimbo, I don't think you want me to start airin' your dirty secrets at this table either." James warned.

"Ain't nothin' secret 'bout these two, look at your kids for Chrissakes!" Jim said collapsing into another gale of laughter as everyone else at the table nodded their agreement.

Kate chuckled at this, finding herself just as amused as everyone else at James' obvious discomfort; he glowered at her, making her shoulders shake silently with ill-concealed mirth. Cassidy turned to her date, and excused herself. James made to go after her but Kate's firm grip on his arm stopped him as she carried on laughing with his cousins. James tried to shrug her hand off but her grip was deceptive strong as she managed to keep his arm anchored on the table.

"Do you mind?" He growled in her ear.

"Yes, I do. We promised Viv not to make a scene and if you keep running after her everytime she gets up, I will make a scene." Kate whispered at him through sweetly curved lips.

Fortunately the first course arrived just then and whatever else James was going to say was lost as everyone settled down to eat the delicious consommé.

**One Hour and A Half Later**

Cassidy had rejoined them soon after the second course was served; smiling at everyone she had been falsely cheerful throughout the rest of the dinner. The rest of the table had spent the time lightly bantering while James mainly kept his silence, trying very hard not to give his cousins more ammunition by staring at Kate or showing just how much her presence was affecting him.

"So Sweetness, I'm thinkin' 'bout takin' this girl I've been seein' to New York, any hot spots you'd recommend?" Jay asked Kate, taking her hand in both of his he rubbed them over it while he waited for her response.

She smiled at him, "I wouldn't really know any… I've spent my time in New York working my butt off, haven't really had time to do anything else."

"An' it's a _mighty fine_ butt too girl. Reminds me of firm but ripe summer peaches." Jay said with a charming smile.

"Give me a break." James muttered, throwing his cousin a dark look.

Jay's smile grew wider, "Whatcha lookin' at ole man, if you ain't gonna treat this fine woman the way she should be, let us young un's show you how it's done."

Kate's eyes twinkled as the hairs on the back of her neck prickled; she could feel James' irate gaze and it amused her to no end.

"_You're_ gonna show _me_ how to charm a woman, Boy I taught you everythin' you know, no one would give you a second glance if it weren't for me." James snapped.

The fact that Kate was gazing into the younger Ford's eyes like they held the secrets to life while she completely ignored him all night was like pouring acid on an open wound.

"Ford please, you know I work this Tyson-Beckford-an'-Tupac-Shakur-were-gay-for-one-night-an'-I-was-the-product-of-that-night look. I don't need your tired ole tricks."

"Is that a fact? I seem to remember a time when you needed my _tired ole tricks_ to get your dumbass outta trouble." James' tone was dangerously low.

Jay narrowed his whisky-brown eyes at James and the two exchanged a dark look, fraught with some resurfacing tension from a long-ago dispute.

"Oh my God, you two are pathetic fighting over Kate like she's some prize to be won." Cassidy bitterly interrupted the quickly disintegrating banter between the two men.

"What exactly makes them pathetic Cassidy… the fact that it's me?" Kate asked with a dangerous edge in her voice, her green eyes boring into Cassidy's.

The older woman threw her napkin on the table and leaned forward to respond, fortunately the dessert plates were placed in front of them and everyone at the table decided it best to eat. Kate and Cassidy glared daggers at each other as they dipped their forks into the exotic fruit tart with its green coulis.

"So Cassidy did your catering company do the entire dinner?" Jim's girlfriend Lauren enquired politely.

"Yes, Viv wanted to use someone in the family, so she asked me to do it. I hope y'all have liked it." Cassidy said in that falsely cheerful tone she'd been using all night, inside her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces.

"Oh yeah, it's damn good, you know Viv would only use the best." Jim said enthusiastically.

The undercurrent at the table was becoming harder and harder to ignore, and it was making even him uncomfortable.

Kate and James, who had been silent throughout the exchange, dipped their forks in the coulis and brought it to their lips to taste. Simultaneously they dropped their forks and pushing their chairs back, ran for the children's tables near the edge of the stage.

James picked up Ali and Drew from their seats just as Kate reached Tristan and David, looking down at the plates they sighed in relief when they realized none of them had eaten their dessert yet.

"Papa! Is this a new game!?" Drew asked as his legs dangled in the air due to the awkward position his father was holding them in.

James' eyes met Kate's and they both sighed in relief, none of the children had touched the kiwi sauce, they'd realized in time.

"No, son, I thought you'd eaten the green sauce with that dessert."

"Not yet, we got our plates but Ali didn't an' she made us wait until she got hers, an' then you came!" Drew supplied helpfully.

James set them down on the floor and kissing the tops of their heads sent them back to their table, picking the plates off as they sat down. Kate held onto Tristan and his brother for a little longer, willing her frantically beating heart to still she breathed in the scent of their hair and put them down too. The kids sat in their seats, questioning eyes aimed at their father.

"Why don't we get any dessert?" Tristan asked, his big green eyes filling up with tears.

"You do son, just not these ones, they've got kiwi in them, you'd get real sick if you ate that." James explained, leaning down to kiss the top of Tristan's head.

At this point Viv and Cassidy had arrived at the table, and Cassidy gasped in horror as she realized what had almost happened.

"I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind." She explained, remorsefully.

"It slipped your mind?!? The fact that they _could die_, slipped your mind?" Kate demanded angrily.

"The dessert recipe was changed this afternoon at the last minute, I didn't have time to look at the ingredients properly, I swear I would never have approved them if I had known!" Cassidy replied defensively, there were tears sparkling in her eyes.

"Alright, it was an accident these things happen. Do you have anything they can have instead?" Viv demanded in her authoritative tone that silenced everyone else.

James handed the four plates to one of the waitresses and hands on hips turned to glare at Cassidy, his heart still hadn't stopped racing from the close-call. All the children at the tables were now watching the adults, their own desserts forgotten.

"Yeah, I've got some raspberry sorbet in the freezer that I brought for the family to have tomorrow." Cassidy said weakly, her distress was evident.

"Well you better go an' get it, kids ain't gonna be patient an' it looks like you might as well get the whole table some. None of them look too interested in that fruit tart now." James encouraged her, his tone was unforgiving.

Cassidy gave him a pointed look but she took one of the waitresses with her as they returned to the kitchen. Viv took in Kate's furious countenance and James' worried one and smiled to herself, ordering them both back to their seats she picked up Tristan and setting him on her lap proceeded to entertain the children while they awaited Cassidy's return.

James and Kate walked back to their seats side by side, neither one aware of all the interested eyes that watched their progress.

"_That's it?_ She nearly _poisons_ them and she just gets away with it?"

"It was an accident Freckles, an' there was no harm done, we got there in time."

"Exactly, if we hadn't or if Ali's dessert had arrived on time we would be in an ER right now."

"What's your point _Kate_?"

Her green eyes widened she hated it when he used her name because it always meant he was pushing her away. She irritably sat in the chair he was holding out for her, whipping around to respond.

"My point is-"

"_I know what your point is_, an' no you're wrong. So just drop it okay?"

She glared at him mutely, her eyes seeking out their children she sighed in relief when she saw Viv still sitting there and eating the dessert with them. Cassidy eventually rejoined them at the table and she guiltily met the other woman's eyes.

"I am _so sorry_, I wasn't thinking, I should have checked properly, it totally slipped my mind. I am _so so sorry_, I love those kids and… please don't think I did this on purpose." Cassidy pleaded with them both, but her eyes focused mainly on Kate's.

James opened his mouth to say something and Kate put a hand on his to still him, this was between her and Cassidy. The sincerity in the other woman's eyes made her feel bad, so did the overall level of discomfort at the table, she nodded her head begrudgingly. James balked at the way she was acting like they were a couple; and clenched his fist beneath her hand; she ran her fingers along his arm in an unconscious soothing gesture. Much to his irritation he found himself relaxing a little.

"So Jay, why do you guys call James, Ford?" Kate said changing the subject with a finesse she'd learned during her time at Securicare.

"We call him Ford 'cause he looks exactly like the Ford ancestor we're all directly descended from. Family legend has it that every other generation or so, one of us looks exactly like him and carries the name of Ford." Jay explained.

Kate turned to scrutinize James' features, then turning back to Jay she smiled, "I bet this original Ford was a real asshole."

Everyone laughed including James as he shrugged in concession. Jay leaned over and picking up the champagne bottle poured some more of the celebratory drink in her glass.

"We're definitely gettin' you drunk, you're sure fun when you forget to be uptight. Glad you see there's no need for that here Sweetness, you're among family." Jay murmured at her as he raised his glass to her.

Kate smiling, picked up hers and clinked against Jay's, taking a sip she leaned back in her seat and lifting her hand off James' arm she draped it around his chair and grinned at his scowling face. She loved the fact that her camaraderie with Jay was making him jealous, after sitting through dinner with Cassidy across from her, it was reassuring to know that she could at least get to him too. James rolled his eyes at her, jaw clenched as he signaled the waiter to bring him some whiskey. Jay and Kate raised their eyebrows silently and shared a silent laugh.

Viv approached the microphone on the stage and tapped on the champagne bottle she was holding in her hand, there were another three set near her feet. Everyone turned to look at her; the matriarch looked infinitely elegant. Her hair up in an elaborate twist, and diamonds dripping tastefully from her earlobes and neck, she was wearing a golden champagne colored tea-length Dior sleeveless sheer organza dress. The portrait neckline showed off shoulders and a neck that would make any woman half her age green with envy. The toned calves and slender ankles that were also revealed by the dress had already made every female at the party self-consciously study their own.

"Thank you for all coming and helping this once upon a time passer usher in her 75th year in this crazy world."

"That's my cue y'all." Jay said to no one in particular as he rose from the table and went to join his grandmother on the stage.

"I look around and see how different your faces and skin color is yet the same blood runs through you and my chest feels so full it might burst. There is so much to celebrate, the fact that most of us are still here, alive and healthy to name a few… I know there was a time when I never thought I would see the day when this family would be reunited again." She shook her head slightly.

"Hey Freckles, what the hell do you think you're playin' at, flirtin' with ma cousin an' fightin' with Cass like that?" James whispered angrily at Kate.

"Do you really think now in the middle of Viv's speech is the time to talk about this!?" Kate hissed at him, her eyes glued to the stage.

James shoved her arm off the back of his seat and Kate brought it up again, he shoved it off and she brought it back up, glaring at him in mute challenge. He bared his teeth at her but a well aimed kick from Jim stopped him, apologetically he smirked at his cousin, turning back around to listen to Viv's speech.

"There are a few things I need to say to you, things that will save me the trouble of trying to get y'all in one place again and drunk enough to prevent parricide."

There were a few snickers in the crowd.

"This family has been tested again and again; we've come so close to destroying ourselves and each other to the point of no return. I must admit when Larry did something none of us had ever thought he was capable of; I turned to my John and said there was no surviving this. He told me to have faith and that we would recover…" Viv broke off here, tears sparkling in her eyes.

Kate looked around noticed there wasn't a dry eye amongst the adults at the mention of their patriarch and James' parents; except for James, who stoically refused to let Viv's own uncharacteristic display of emotion affect him. She could see the pulse in his neck beating at a frantic rhythm and keeping her left arm draped around his chair, she leaned in closer to him and brought her right hand to cover his.

"Of course it was easy for him to say, he died the day before the funeral and left me all alone, _crafty sonofabitch_." Viv said dryly.

Everyone laughed tearfully.

"A year later we lost Randy to cancer and I went over the edge. Leaving you all in turn to struggle by yourselves. There are no words no actions that can make up for the pain we've all suffered over the years. The sons and daughters we've lost… and maybe if it hadn't been for the crash of flight 815 we would have continued on our separate paths of self-destruction."

Kate intertwined her fingers with James; he squeezed them, holding on tight.

"I told y'all my grandbaby wasn't dead 'cause God wouldn't be so cruel as to take our Larry's only child like that before he'd found himself. And I was right. He came back and he brought with him the means to finally heal this family. What represents hope and life more than new and innocent lives?"

Kate felt a lump rise in her own throat now and was grateful to have James here next to her. Viv approached and leaned down at the edge of the stage where Tristan and the triplets sat at one of the three children's tables.

"Four T's why are Fords so angry?"

"'Cause the blood of every master an' slave that has ever been runs through our veins!" The four children recited with the ease of rote memory.

Viv smiled down at them, "From the mouths of babes." Straightening up she cupped her ear, "Fords why are y'all so angry?!"

"'Cause the blood of every master an' slave, conqueror an' vanquished that has ever been in the United States of America runs through our veins!" The whole family chanted.

Kate took in the family response and felt not only proud to be there but extremely grateful that she'd been tricked into attending this very special evening. She glanced at James who was watching her with an inscrutable yet knowing look on his face.

"That's right you miserable wretches an' don't you ever forget it. I'm looking at you Bill... you racist KKK-joining bastard." Viv said in her usual tone.

The gray-haired, middle-aged man sitting at her table colored in embarrassment as the rest of the family laughed.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to let all you newer additions; Catch-me-if-you-can, Lauren and the Californian fruit that's making my great-grandson happy, y'all are Fords now. Like my mother-in-law told me on a monthly basis in my first year of marriage, after I'd run away… yet again, you either become a Ford by marriage or by gettin' in the family way. This is your family now, no matter how much you want to run away or hate us all, you're one of us. And you'll never find better company because we all hate each other too." Vivienne's eyes found Kate's and she grinned.

Kate blushed profusely when she felt all eyes at the table on her and James tilting his head back to look at her chuckled at her discomfort. Everyone else in the crowd looked around trying to figure out who the fugitive was; Viv had turned to Jay gesturing to him to stand next to her.

"These four bottles of champagne were bottled the year I was born. And I am sharing them with you tonight because I don't know if I'm going to be around to see 76 and I most certainly am not leaving it for you good for nuthin's to enjoy all on your own. Jay if you will."

"We're not good for nuthin's!" Tristan yelled.

"Of course you aren't baby, I'm talking to the grown ups." Viv placated her great-grandson.

The cork popped off the bottle and Jay poured some into Viv's empty flute, she indicated for him to go around the tables and pour everyone a little more than a drop. Picking up the other three bottles he did as he was told, while Viv held her glass up to the light and studying the bubbles, waited until he was finished.

"Looks like it hasn't gone flat yet… just might still taste good. Now if you'd all get up off your asses so I can make a proper toast."

Everyone stood up, including the kids who had sparkling grape juice in their plastic champagne flutes.

"My old friend Anaïs Nin said, "Anyone can give up; it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." And I will say to you that, you're Fords you don't give up, _we are family, and we don't give up on each other. When I'm dead and gone these words will be as true then as they are now._ Chin chin!"

Everyone raised their glasses and drank probably the most expensive liquid they'd ever drink in their lives. When they'd drained their glasses, Viv handed hers to Jay.

"Now what's an old lady gotta do to get some birthday cake and a song around here!?"

Right on cue, Mel and another cousin, Gina approached the stage, Mel sat down at the piano while the latter climbed on stage and taking the microphone, started to sing "_Happy Birthday_" as a cake was brought out.

The kids clapped happily as they sang along, Viv joined them at their table, setting Ali on her lap as the cake was wheeled over to her. The confection was done in Vivienne's face and the photographer snapped lots of pictures while the camera man taped it all. When she blew out her candles all the children squealed with excitement; as Viv cut the cake and started handing out pieces. Kate and James shared a look; there was no anger or challenge in it this time.

After the cake slices were distributed, Jay took the microphone and announced the live band was going to start playing soon so everyone had to dance. A few minutes later the first song the five man and woman band fronted by Gina started to play "Mack the Knife", James got up and went to ask his grandmother to dance. She happily obliged, as they opened up the floor, other family members following their lead.

"Oh the shark has pretty teeth dear, and he shows them pearly white."

"Viv dear, why are you singin' all the lyrics to the damn song like I don't know them?" James asked.

"Hush your mouth Boy, you're mighty mistaken if you think you can take this smile off my face."

"I never said I didn't want you to smile, just wonderin' why you gotta sing the song to me like I haven't heard it over a thousand times."

"James?"

"Yeah Grandma?"

"Shut the hell up and dance with your Granny like a good little boy."

James chuckled along with her and turned her around the dance floor.

"May I have this dance, Miss Kate?" Jay asked her solicitiously.

"What about your date?" Kate asked looking for the woman who'd been generally silent throughout dinner and now was nowhere to be seen.

"She ain't my date, she's our cousin June an' she's busy havin' her way with the waiter behind the stables." Jay corrected her.

Kate grinned, letting Jay pull her out of the chair, "Okay then, lead the way Mr. Ford."

James was laughing at Drew and David's antics as they shook their butts at the dancing adults. His eyes fell on Kate's form being held close to Jay's as the pair moved to the music, the song had changed and Gina was crooning "_The Girl from Ipanema_".

"Boy is there any good reason why you're crushing my hand?" Viv demanded sharply.

James immediately loosened his grip, smiling down at his grandmother apologetically.

"No ma'am."

Viv harrumphed and let him turn her around, smiling at all the family members dancing next to them. When Jay and Kate swayed their way nearby, James glowered at Jay.

"Any reason y'all are pawin' each other like two teens in heat?" He demanded gruffly.

Kate kicked him hard, and smiled in satisfaction at his grunt of pain while Jay laughingly danced them away. Viv pulled back and looked at James the smile on her face brightened.

"I'm so happy, only time I was happier in recent memory was when I met you at those docks an' you had the babies in your arms."

"Only reason you're so damn happy now is 'cause you saw Kate kick me, the woman is torturin' me in a way only she can."

"Boy, I don't care to hear about your sex life but if it produces more great-grandbabies I'll be very grateful." Viv said tartly.

"Why don't you just have your own if you love babies so damn much."

Viv burst out laughing, turning away as the song ended she tapped Jay on the shoulder and told him it was time they switched partners. Jay shrugged good-naturedly and propelled Kate in James' direction while he took Viv in his arms in time for the beginning strains of the waltz.

James caught Kate as she fell against his chest, tilting her chin up he raised an eyebrow at her. She lifted her chin up and glared at him in unspoken challenge as he swept them around the dancefloor.

"So you're movin' onto my cousin for what purpose exactly?"

"Who said anything about moving onto your cousin, and if I wanted to who are you to say anything, it's not like you don't have Cassidy."

"Thanks to you, I don't actually."

"Don't blame me if you can't hold onto your woman."

"_Hold onto my woman?_ You spend what, a couple _hours_ around Jay and you start talkin' like his stupid ass!?"

Kate made to pull away, and James tightened his grip on her waist and hand. Her green eyes sent him daggers.

"I am just stating the obvious… You didn't even bother to fight for me back on the Island."

James looked deep into her eyes and saw the genuine emotions there.

"My Daddy taught me a lady's got a right to make up her own mind."

"Last night after we went to bed, I dreamt of us in the shower… together. We were planning to escape and we did. They were hunting us down… I wanted us to stay together and you wanted to give yourself up so I could continue running, and I refused for us to separate. They caught us soon after."

James' shoulders had tensed underneath her hand and a wary look had entered his sapphire blue eyes. Her green eyes sparkled as she gazed up at him, understanding dawning on her.

"You _knew_ they were still out there when you said it was safe for us to get out of the caves."

"Kate-"

"You did it to protect me, so that we'd stay together. You knew they'd catch us eventually."

"_How the hell would I know all that?_"

"Because the other day you were right… when you said I had something to feel guilty about."

"What's that now?"

"Ben told me before they took me to the bear cages after they kidnapped us on the dock, that if I didn't do what they wanted they would _kill you_."

He drew back from her but continued dancing, he had to keep his body moving otherwise he'd cause the scene they had been trying to avoid all night.

"What did they want you to do?" He asked in funny voice.

"Motivate Jack to do the surgery." Kate said softly.

"An' what the hell did that have to do wi- sonofabitch… did you _know_ they had cameras on the cages?"

"Yes."

"So you-"

"I didn't want it to happen either! Not like that! But Ben said if I didn't they'd kill you, I tried to call their bluff and _Pickett_ almost did it… I _begged_ Jack to do the surgery and he said no. _What choice did I have?_" Kate demanded defiantly.

"Kate-"

"Don't you _dare_ try and turn this into something it doesn't have to be, I know you betrayed me in those caves. We both did things to protect each other, and I _won't_ apologise for that, I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Kate cut him off.

The song ended and they stopped staring at each other as a new understanding grew between them. Another waltz started and they resumed dancing, this time Kate lay her cheek against his shoulder and James held a little closer, resting his chin lightly on the top of her head as they swept around the floor.

"So how does this memory thing of yours work, exactly?" James asked finally, he felt a little humbled by her words.

Kate opened her eyes and tilted her head up, "I sometimes see and hear flashes while I'm awake but mainly I re-live bigger chunks in my dreams. When I wake up I remember it."

"Do you have any idea how much you remember?"

"No, I remember the cave escape and recapture but after that it's all fuzzy images and sounds of machines, needles and screaming. I can remember being in labor and you holding my hand but I don't see the baby or know anymore." Kate searched his eyes.

Her expression hopeful that he would maybe just this once volunteer something.

"We lived together but spent our days apart… we escaped that one time exactly as you remember it, but we got caught. Then you fell pregnant, had the triplets an' then you were pregnant with Tristan, a week after he was born you chose to go with Ben an' the Others. The labor you remember is Tristan's I wasn't in the room with you when the triplets were born."

"Why not?"

"I wasn't allowed in."

"Once upon a time we tried to protect each other when our lives were on the line. And we lived together for almost two years, had four kids… were we happy?" She asked him softly.

There was a light in his eyes but he closed them for a second, sighing as he turned them around. When he opened them again they were unreadable and his jaw clenched resolutely, silently telling her that he was not going to answer that question.

"I get it… you'll never answer any personal questions about us on the Island."

Kate didn't realize how invested she had been in the answer until this moment. Suddenly, a liquid fire of rage at his refusal to divulge the information burned in her chest.

"Why did you leave me locked in the bear cages?"

"I don't know what you're talkin' about."

Kate opened her mouth to elaborate but the song had ended and Jim tapping on James shoulder engineered a switch. Kate frowned up at him as he whirled her away and left James with Cassidy.

When the song was over James and Cassidy had disappeared and Kate looked around for them. Seated at the table she chatted with Patsy while she kept an eye out for the familiar tall golden figure and when she spied the two of them walking back to the table, she wiped the frown from her face and turned her full attention on Patsy.

Cassidy leaned up and kissed James on the cheek before her tear-streaked blue eyes met Kate's frosty green ones. With a half-hearted wave, Cassidy went to find her date. James sat down across from Kate and Patsy, downing the remainder of his freshly topped up tumbler of bourbon and coke.

"Munchkins said to tell you goodnight… they were so goddamn tired I had to carry them all into the house." James addressed Kate.

"As if they need to be tired to get you to carry them. They've got you wrapped around their little fingers." Patsy remarked.

James gave her a look. Kate laughed in agreement. James got up to go and talk to some relations that were beckoning him. Patsy and Kate remained at the table chatting between themselves.

**An Hour Later**

James studied the brunette woman in his arms and wondered what business his heart had of skipping a beat everytime she bestowed one of her mega-watt smiles on him. Her hold on him was beyond ridiculous, they were at a fork in the road and she wanted to go left while he wanted to keep going straight. Against his better judgment he decided to try and explain.

"I never left you in the bear cages."

"You're lying."

"I am not."

"Then why do I remember it? And how did Juliet know about it? She mentioned it in New York."

"They kidnap people, kill them, brainwash an' you're _surprised_ that you've got a false memory?"

"Everything else so far hasn't been false."

"Well _that one is_!"

"You're lying, just like you lied about me choosing Jack and the mind-wipe. I would _never_ choose a man over my own flesh and blood!"

"Your mother did."

Kate snatched her hand away from him and curled it into a fist, James caught her wrist with lightning reflexes and applied pressure until she gave up. Her eyes were flashing and her chest heaved with ill-suppressed anger, had she ever looked more beautiful than she did tonight? He didn't think he could survive the night, her body in that dress and her flawless makeup that accentuated the green in her eyes were affecting him like the headiest of nectars.

Viv, Mel and Jay stood on the sidelines watching James and Kate and laughing.

"Vivi, that girl's got our boy goin' ten kinds of crazy. Did you put her up to this?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Jay."

"Unh-huh, those two looked ready to rip each other a new one this afternoon an' now they're makin' babymakin' eyes at each other."

"Mel tell this jaded fool what's going on." Viv said impatiently, a smile still gracing her lips.

"That's just them Jay, the fightin's just... foreplay."

"You've got to be shittin' me."

"Language." Viv said automatically, her sharp brown eyes watching James and Kate intently.

"Sorry Nana." Jay apologised sheepishly.

They grinned at each other good-naturedly as Viv reached over and playfully tugged on his diamond stud adorned earlobe. Just then Kate pulled away from James and he dragged her back into his arms, they struggled briefly and she head-butted him. James flinched but he didn't release her, they bared their teeth at each other, sending the three onlookers into gales of laughter.

Jim and Patsy approached, "What's so funny."

"Our new cousin." Jay said in-between gasps.

"Thought they weren't together?" Patsy asked.

"Yeah right, an' even if they ain't technically she's still his Babymama." Jay snorted.

"Gotta say, he's got it bad for her." Jim remarked.

"She does too." Viv and Mel said at the same time.

"The way she confronted poor Cass _would_ support that." Jay chuckled.

"Mary's dress looks like it was made for her." Patsy remarked with approval.

Everyone nodded, getting a little choked up as they thought of James' parents.

James turned Kate around and caught them watching, he glowered.

"Okay, I'm outta here, that look could've turned us into stone!" Patsy exclaimed.

They all remained standing for another heartbeat but scattered quickly when James stopped dancing and made to approach them, Kate in tow. Viv remained standing where she was for a moment longer, a challenge on her face, before she sauntered away.

James turned back around to face Kate, "What the hell was that about?"

"How you're losing your touch in the bedroom?"

"Funny."

Kate giggled tugging on his hand, "Come on let's dance, you must know how to salsa!"

"You ain't the only person on my dance card Sassafras!"

She pulled him a little more forcefully, a wide smile on her face, his protests were only serving to improve her mood. And James found himself drawn to her, he'd never seen her like this before and letting himself be dragged back onto the dancefloor, filed away his family's strange behavior for later.

A few dances and a couple drinks later, Kate and James sat down at the table reveling in each other's company. Neither one of them would have admitted it but the familiar air of companionship without saying anything had settled over them and they were enjoying it immensely.

"You didn't say anything about my dress."

James turned his body so he was facing her and raked her figure with that lazy hot gaze of his.

"That ain't the kind of dress I comment on with words, don't my eyes tell you all you need to know?"

Kate felt her temperature rise at the blatant sexuality he seemed capable of only either turning down or turning up. Her cheeks burned a bright red as his eyes lingered on the bustline before sweeping down her body. He tilted his head to the side a little and eyed the slit that revealed smooth skin from her thigh down. He brought his eyes back up to look at the flush on her neck knowingly before he met her eyes again. Despite herself, she knew the warm limpid pools gave away the effects of his demonstration. She swallowed convulsively. He drained his glass, setting it down firmly and wishing he had the bourbon bottle next to him, raised his hand to beckon a waiter.

"More bourbon please, Tony, in fact just bring me the whole damn bottle, thanks."

"That's a lot of alchol." Kate commented.

"Yeah well I plan on gettin' _a whole lot_ plastered."

"Why?"

James accepted the bourbon bottle and poured himself a healthy two fingers. He mentally shrugged at her question. It was just like her to play innocent when she knew damn well what she had done and was still doing to him. He looked up at her through heavy lids, her insides did a little dance.

"You ruined any chance I had of gettin' laid tonight, after I specifically asked you not to. An' you're askin' me why I'm gonna drink this bottle of bourbon empty?"

"I didn't ruin _any_ chance… just your chances with Cassidy." Kate protested she pulled the tumbler out of his hand she took a small swallow before handing him back the glass.

"An' why's that?"

Kate didn't answer, pursing her lips primly.

He shrugged then stared at the imprint her lips had left on the tumbler and waved the glass away, pushing it back towards her he picked up a clean one from the table and poured himself another two fingers. Kate merely smiled at this, irritating him further.

"Lauren's only a cousin 'cause she's pregnant an' engaged to Jim. Baby ain't showin' yet an' Jim an' I have shared women before, so I guess you've got a point."

Using her heel, Kate kicked him hard.

"_Sonofabitch_, what'd you do that for!?"

"If you are getting laid tonight the only way that's going to happen other than with _your hand_ is with me."

James choked on his bourbon, and setting the glass down appraised Kate in her dress again. When his eyes met hers all he saw was an answering desire, she smiled.

"That jealous huh? If I won't sit by the window an' mope about you no one else can have me? Is that what all that stuff with Cassidy was about?"

There was some truth in his words, but Kate wasn't about to analyze that now.

"Yesterday in the dance studio, you said that the dancing worked well on your marks. I may not be a mark but I'm a woman and it worked just as well on me… We've been dancing the forbidden dance all night, it's a fitting end to the night and our truce. No games, or tricks, just two people who are obviously attracted to each other, seizing the moment." Her green eyes shone with the earnesty of her words.

James studied her with narrowed eyes, just when he thought he'd figured her out she threw him a curveball like this. What was her angle, here? He took a sip of his bourbon, and stood up. She looked at him expectantly.

"I'll think about it."

"You do that."

He walked away and then on second thought came back, dragging her up next to him he guided them to the dancefloor just as the first strains of the tango started.

Pulling her into position he stared at her as she smiled her most beguiling smile, he pulled his lips back in a feral grin as he took the first steps in the complicated, highly sensual dance. He'd taught her the basics and her instincts were good so she followed his movements.

"How'd you get Romeo and Juliet to admit what they knew?"

Kate gasped as he pulled her up close and she felt the evidence of his arousal. He pushed her foot with his own and they turned together.

"I pulled a gun on them and held them hostage."

"Didja shoot one of them?" He asked with a childish hopefulness that Kate found endearing.

She shook her head.

"Not even a _little graze_?"

Kate laughed, "No."

James dipped her then brought her back up, holding her close. She tried to catch her breath, but was finding concentrating on anything other than the feelings that were running through her incredibly difficult.

"But I did consider breaking their legs."

"Now that's just cold."

Kate sputtered in disbelief but didn't get a chance to say anything else as the tempo of the song increased and James led her through a set of intricate steps that required her undivided if more than a little intoxicated attention.

"I still don't believe you about what you said earlier."

"Color me shocked you don't believe somethin' I've said that you _don't wanna hear_."

"Go to hell."

"You first."

Their eyes glowed with mutual challenge. James closed his eyes, he was tired of this same argument, "Of course you don't. _Jackass_ would never lie to you but I would."

"That's not the reason."

"Sweetheart we've almost made it through the party without makin' a scene or fightin', do you think-"

"I know, I know, and yes I can keep a lid on it."

James harrumphed but the song was nearing it's end and turning her around he thrust his leg in between her thighs and she brought her right leg up to wrap around his left thigh. As the song ended he dipped her, and she arched her back, her head almost touching the dancefloor.

Breathing heavily it was only when James pulled her back up that Kate noticed the entire Ford clan had stopped dancing to watch them. James bowed deeply at their audience and transferring Kate to his other hand bowed again.

"I may not be rhythm incorporated but as our little preview proves, when it comes to dancin' up a storm in the sheets I've still got it in spades."

Everyone laughed and Kate shook her head a with a smile.

Mel went up on the stage and joined her husky voice to Gina's as they began to sing "_It's A Wonderful World_."

Kate looked up at James expectantly, he still hadn't given her an answer to her proposition. James looked down at her upturned face and pulling her close started to nibble on her earlobe.

"The dress _is_ beautiful." James whispered, not looking at the dress at all.

"Thank you Vivienne gave it to me."

"It's made for a much taller woman, what was she doin' with a dress this long? Measurements are all wrong for her as well." James asked only half interested in the answer, he continued his sensual exploration of her ear.

Kate moaned as he sucked on the top part of her ear.

"It was a gift for someone else, but she never got the chance to- ohh!"

James pulled away from her and looked deep into her eyes, "I don't really care about the history of the dress Sweetcheeks."

Kate lowered her lashes, then glanced up at him coyly, "So what do you care about?"

"Meet me inside an' you'll find out." James said huskily.

Without giving her a chance to respond, he melted into the mass of bodies and disappeared out of her line of vision. Kate frowned, half impressed half irritated she glanced around to make sure no one was watching her. She met Jay's eyes as he stood talking to one of the pretty waitresses. He winked at her and she smiled before she plowed through the dancers and headed for the house.

James was waiting for her on the landing and when Kate came up the stairs he clapped a hand over her mouth and dragged her into her bedroom. When he pulled his hand away she pounced on him. Pressing her lips and entire body against his as she devoured his bourbon flavored mouth. Their tongues tussled hungrily as Kate worked the bow-tie off, flinging it aside as James backed them towards the bed. She kicked her shoes off as they fell back, rolling on top of him almost immediately she ripped the expensive white shirt open despite the fact that they hadn't even removed his jacket or waistcoat yet.

"Easy Baby, ain't no need to hurry." James whispered, as his fingers worked the pins out of her hair.

Her face was flushed and her eyes glazed as she moaned deep in her throat and leaned forward to kiss him fervently. James matched her fire, running his hands through her hair, he removed his jacket and waistcoat in record time. Kate pushed the shirt off his shoulders, pushing him away in order to admire his golden torso. The sheer enjoyment on her face, excited James further and he dug his hands in her hair, pulling her head back in order to kiss her deeply. She whimpered in his mouth, the heat between them was immolating her. His hand travelled down her side, stroking the flesh exposed by the slit in the dress, she sighed with anticipation when his hand slid under the dress and a finger traced the edge of her panties. His thumb pressed against her core through the lacy fabric and his forefinger slid past the flimsy barrier into her. Kate writhed underneath his ministrations, she was more than ready and dangerously close to climax already. James knew her body well enough and stopped what he was doing, hushing her gently when she groaned in frustration. Capturing his bottom lip with her teeth, Kate's hands deftly unzipped his pants and she freed his throbbing erection from it's confines. Stroking then palming the organ with reverence she sucked on his tongue urgently to convey her need. James thought he was going to die from the onslaught of sensations, there was something almost magical and different in the air tonight. They'd been together countless times on the Island but tonight was like stumbling onto a different plane of reality. He felt like he'd been asleep all these years and was finally waking up. Making an impatient sound in the back of his throat, he reached around to the back of the dress to find the zip. Kate was pressing herself against him with her body arched and hair spread against the pillow in the bright moonlight, it was distracting and very hard to breathe let alone form coherent thought. He fumbled around her back and sides looking for the zipper, there was none. Pulling away in irritation he turned Kate over onto her front, and pushing her hair out of the way, found the tiny buttons that he'd missed. Her round bottom was pressed against his naked erection as she riggled with impatience. James groaned, she was driving him crazy and he couldn't think or see straight with her moving so provocatively underneath him. Finally he turned her around again, frowning at her triumphant smile. She reached up for him and drew him down to distract him with a passionate kiss. James responded, sliding his hands onto her back he gripped the top of the material and got ready to rip the dress off. Kate pulled away.

"No wait, are you crazy!? This is vintage Ungaro!"

"Baby I've got a vintage hard-on here an' if you want a designer lay you better let me do my thing." James said as he trailed kisses down her throat and licked the top of her dress.

Kate arched her back, temporarily acquiescing, when his hands crept up to rip the dress again she pressed her back down on the bed.

"No, no wait, we can't ruin this dress it's special."

"Makin' me specially crazy." James said dryly.

Kate giggled in between kisses, "I can't let you rip it."

James smiled in admiration at her innovativeness as she hiked the dress up and guided his hands to pull her panties down. She smiled into his eyes as she expertly flipped them so she was on top and bearing down, guided him inside her. His breath came out in a hiss as she clenched her inner muscles around him and wrapping her thighs around his waist started to rock them expertly. She ran her hands up his arms and shoulder and gripped his hair, pulling him up for an earth-shattering kiss as she increased the tempo and shortly rode them into the first of many climaxes that night.  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Phew! What did y'all think? _**Press that button and review! ; ) **_

The chapter was written by listening to _Live's "The Dolphin's Cry"_ a lot. If you don't know the song you must have a listen, it's frakking awesome.


	18. Chapter 17 Reprise

Happy New Year Dahlings! I must apologise for my long silence, I changed jobs, moved countries, it's all very complex and slightly boring but nevertheless the worst part is that I do not have the internet at home anymore and I can't take my laptop to the internet café, my laptop stopped working so I had to use my Mom's which doesn't have MSWord but does have Works. When I try to load the file at the internet café's computers it does not read it. Evil Jate-fanfic demons are conspiring against us hardcore Skaters! Then I had a moment of inspiration and saved in the .rtf format et voila!

Anyhoodle, since I wrote my last chapter last summer, I discovered the awesome ABC show **Brothers and Sisters **and I can't believe it was on air from before I started **ACNJ** and I never bothered to watch it. The family dynamics in the show are what I am always striving for in my fic and are also what I envisage when I am writing Ford Family scenes. 

Our fic is now gearing up for some big events and also a few chapters of just James and Kate so fear not. The new season of **LOST **I sadly do not get to watch because we don't get the show on tv here but I will get a friend to tape it or DVR it for me and send it my way at some point. If any of you would be so darling as to fill me in on the James/Kate bits via email I would greatly appreciate it!

Onwards and upwards.

**Chapter 17 - Reprise**

The pale long fingers of dawn were streaking through the sky, the early morning light filtering in through the half-drawn curtains. Smiling drowsily Kate reached out for James' retreating figure as he sidled out of the bed. Oblivious to her nakedness she leant forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his torso, her front pressed to his back. He held his breath for a few seconds before the muscles in his back rippled softly as he relaxed in her embrace. Then he turned around and placed a whisper of a kiss on her forehead before laying back on the pillows, his hold on her just as tight as hers on him. As soon as she was asleep again he untangled himself from her arms and watched her sleep-laxened features with a rapidly beating heart.

Later on, the bright sun's rays brilliantly bathed the occupants of the bed. Kate smiled indulgently at James as he carried out his self-appointed task of counting the freckles on her face. When his forefinger lightly brushed her nostrils for the second time in as many minutes she closed her eyes and giggled scrunching up her nose at the tickling sensation. James cursed softly his blue eyes boring into her eyes with an intense fire.

"Dammit Freckles, I've lost my count!"

"I'm sorry! It tickles!" She laughed, finding his irritation hilarious.

James sighed at her with exasperation, brushing a stray sable lock from her face. 

"What is it about my _horrible_ imperfections that fascinates you so much? If I could, I would _so_ have gotten rid of these blemishes a _long _time ago." Kate said bringing a hand up to cover her face.

James pulled her hand away and studied all her features intently.

"Your freckles are the best part Sassafras, without 'em you'd be just another brunette… an' I'd be coverin' your face with a paper bag." 

Kate picked up a pillow and hit him with it, laughing at the seriousness of his tone. He ducked with a chuckle before he grabbed the offending object from her hands.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I don't have any makeup here." 

Placing an arm on either side of her head he held her down by pressing his weight on her hair.

"It's a god damn blessin' in disguise… that along with the lack of hair straightenin'… equipment." James remarked as his eyes followed the dark curling tresses spread out on the pillow.

"Oh God, you don't like brunettes and now you don't like straight hair too?"

"Not on you."

"_Why not_?" 

James looked deeply into her eyes, "'Cause when you're like this I can really see you, there ain't nowhere for you to hide."

Kate blinked, touched by the intense sincerity she could read in his eyes. Leaning forward he kissed her tenderly.

"Hmm… now let's see 'bout showin' you just how much I love you _au naturel_." 

She jabbed his shoulder then gazed up at him through lowered lashes, "Make it good. You've just told me you're only attracted to me when I'm ugly. " 

James pulled the pillow from under her head and put it over her face.

"Mmmm… even better." He quipped.

Kate wriggled underneath the gentle pressure; laughing despite herself she brought her arms up and around his shoulders.

He chuckled along with her as he shouldered the duvet and ducked beneath it to kiss her lower. She got over her irritation very quickly and squealed in delight as he bit the soft skin between her breasts. Her squeal ended in a moan as he brought his warm hands down to tease her nipples while his tongue expertly travelled lower. She pressed the pillow harder into her face in a bid to stifle her responses to his ministrations. A few minutes later the only sounds that came from Kate were increasingly loud and revealing moans of pleasure as James stoked the fire that always seemed to rage between them to an incandescent burning point.

When she woke up again it was much later in the morning. Pointing her toes, she stretched with a Cheshire cat grin on her face, her right arm stretching out into the space on James' side of the bed. It was empty and cold, far too cold. Opening her eyes she stared at the body imprint in the bed then looked up at the canopy ceiling and frowned in confusion. It was not the same room she had been in with James earlier on this morning. Sitting up dazedly, she brought the sheet up to cover her naked body, the sated smile on her lips fading. Something was not making sense but her sleep fuddled brain was not working fast enough to figure it out. Blinking repeatedly, her brow smoothed as she spied the green Ungaro dress she'd worn the night before was lying on the floor where James had thrown it. With a blush and soft smile on her face she remembered just how wild their lovemaking the night before had become. In contrast, the intimacy they had shared this morning, had been a passionate storm of a different calibre. But where was he now? The spot where he'd lain next to her earlier was quite cold. Her hand curled into a fist as she stared at the covers, her naked body was covered by a sheet and a bedspread as opposed to the duvet. Looking down at her well manicured fingers and the pale blue Egyptian cotton sheet she was holding to her chest Kate made an impatient sound the corners of her mouth turning down as with a frown she realized that the early morning loving she thought had transpired was actually a memory of their time on the Island. She gritted her teeth in anger as she realized that he had not even wanted to _wake up_ next to her in _present _time! Then she remembered the way he'd come back into bed and held her. That threw her indignation off-balance. Her eyes strayed to the dressing table mirror and when she caught smiling reflection she scowled. However, the anger refused to take hold, euphoria bubbling up inside her as she argued with herself that James coming back to bed _had _happened in the present, as had last night. She chewed on a thumbnail, trying to make sense of what it all meant. 

With a quiet sigh she lay back on the pillows, all the tension leaving her body as swiftly as it had risen. Smiling up at the canopy, she felt no will to get out of the bed let alone fight with anyone. Nor could she remember with any clarity the demons that had driven her back to Texas after all the revelations in New York. All she could think about was the nightlong courtship that was their interaction last night at Viv's birthday party. Then there was the culmination of the fierce undercurrents that flowed between them. A high flush rose up into her cheeks as her body deliciously ached and tingled at the memory of all the naughty things they had ended up doing to each other. Her fingers picking at the bright blue bedspread she reflected that there was more to her feelings of well-being than the end product of their mutual sexual attraction. Her affectionate feelings towards James today were deeper and much more complicated than pure lust. 

She supposed she must have felt like this many a time on the Island but the memories were locked in some vault of her mind that she couldn't access. If last night and this morning's dream were anything to go by, Kate would venture that they must have been happy together… on the Island. The happiness and sense of belonging she'd spent her life searching for had been within her grasp, regardless of the constant danger they had lived with. In fact she'd bet her last dollar she'd actually _known_ it on the Island… with James. That must be the reason why he always seemed to clam up when she tried to talk about the time they had lived together. Suddenly she sat up as a thought hit her. What if instead of going to look for Sayid, she stayed put, here, in Texas with James and his family and just built on the foundation that was so evidently there? Would that be so terrible? Maybe the memories would come back to her in time and there would be no need to go looking for the trouble she was sure to find. Could she live with herself knowing there was a two year black hole where the memories of her pregnancies and the births of her children and the life she had led with their father should be? Unconsciously, her right hand strayed to her flat belly and she gently cupped it, trying to imagine how it must have looked swollen. She pushed it out as far as it would go, and let out a melancholy sigh, flattening her abdomen again. What about the time she had missed since the rescue, first words, first steps and many other significant and insignificant moments? Would any of those things matter in the long run? 

Before she could think on the subject any further, a loud off-beat drumming started on the bedroom door. 

"_I'm up_!" Kate yelled.

There was some very loud whispering and she was pretty sure she heard Ali giggle behind the wood when the drumming stopped and more that one set of footsteps ran pell-mell down the hall. Kate laughed at this and taking a look at the bedside clock which read 12:18. With a startled gasp, she vaulted out of the bed and ran to shower and dress.

When she ventured out of her room, she realized the house seemed unusually quiet; darting down the stairs she instinctively headed for the kitchen where she could hear howls of laughter coming from behind the door. There was a buffet laid out on the kitchen table and everyone seemed to be congregated on the porch talking and arguing amongst themselves. She quietly picked up a clean plate off the table and piling the delicious looking Southern cuisine on it tried to sneak out of the kitchen, but Jay walked in at that precise moment and started pounding a drum roll with his fork, knife and the heels of his hands on the counter. 

"Mesdames et Monsieurs, ladies and gents, the award for _latest_ riser therefore_ laziest person_ goes to Princess _Kate_!" 

Everyone including the children, who were giggling mischieviously, came in from the porch cheering and applauding while Kate flushed to a bright shade of red. 

"I wonder what _she_ had last night that the rest of us didn't that made her so tired." Patsy teased.

"I _may_ be wrong but I'm sure I've heard it referred to as a Ford dessert_ special_." Jim replied, as he peered at Kate over Patsy's shoulder from where they stood by the kitchen sink.

"Really? I heard tell it was better known as a_ nightcap_?" Patsy retorted.

James who had come in from the study when he heard the loud cheers; walked in from behind Kate where he'd been standing and headed for the sink playfully nudging her with his shoulder as he passed.

"_Nightcap_? Maybe if I was a hundred an' fifty an' wheelchair bound with no Viagra… ain't that right Freckles?" James retorted, grinning wickedly at Kate as he spoke.

She turned an even deeper red and everyone guffawed with laughter. Jay took her hand and pushed her down into the nearest chair at the table. He set a glass full of fresh fruit juice in front of her and then handed her a fork, gesturing for her to eat.

"We've already eaten but I think you're gonna need that to get your strength back up." He said in a conspiratory stage whisper.

Kate rolled her eyes, "I _don't_ need to get my strength back up!" 

James who was leaning against the kitchen sink, arms crossed raised an eyebrow at her protest. Kate's green eyes glared at him mutinously. James gave her the once-over a sexy twist to his lips as he challenged her silently. The room sizzled as they shared a sexually charged look.

Jay snorted, "Yeah_ right_, that_ look_ alone, could burn the house down, but it don't mean nothin'. It certainly don't mean y'all will be repeatin' last night's boot knockin' and bed shakin'!" 

Everyone laughed including a scarlet Kate when she finally managed to tear her gaze away from James'.

Thirty minutes later Kate stood on the porch and watched as some Fords cleaned up the garbage that was littered all over the lawn. To her surprise the marquee had already been dismantled and tables and chairs taken away. All but one of the trailers were gone too and a few of the cousins were leading the horses back into the stable. Most of the family members had left early in the morning, it being a Monday, but of those that were still here, everyone was working hard at leaving the place as clean and tidy as it had been before the celebrations. She was quite intrigued to see how they were going to get rid of the huge tracts of torn up lawn that Viv had yelled about earlier but with nothing constructive to do herself out here she was bored of watching. Walking into the house, Kate left the kitchen and turning left pushed open the door to the room Jay had called the den. She found Viv, Mel, Tristan, the triplets and Clem as well as a handful of cousins playing Twister.

Standing in the doorway she couldn't help but burst out laughing at the scene before her. Tristan was contorted in a position which had his head peeking up at Drew from between his legs while Ali's left foot rested on Drew's head and Clem was doing the splits. All three children were giggling as DC cheered the boys on and blew raspberrys at Clem and Ali while the girls in between chuckles yelled at him to go away and leave them alone. Viv and Mel were guffawing with laughter while Jay yelled at Ali to move her right foot onto the blue circle which was currently occupied by Drew's left hand.

"I _know_ Uncle Jay, can't you see this stupid bumblin' oaf of a nephew of yours has got his big _fat_ hand in the way? Doo-doo head _move _your hand!" Ali shrieked, all traces of laughter gone.

Jim and Lauren were sitting on one of the two loveseats in the room wiping the tears streaming down their faces from laughing so hard.

"I'm not a Doo-doo head _you're_ the _Doo-doo head _an' dja _stupid _'cause if I move my hand you'll _win_!" Drew retorted just as irritably.

"_Daddeee_! Drew called me a stupid Doo-doo head!"

"Did not!"

"_Did too_!" 

"_Did not_!"

"Did too, did too, _did too_!"

Drew pulled back his fist and punched Ali in the shoulder, the little girl curled her own fist and socked him in the chest, the entire set up came down as the two children started pummelling each other. Kate made a move to rush into the melée but she was too late as Jay, and James who had been in the room next door came in and bust up the fight. Ali let out a long loud high-pitched scream of frustrated anger, her little face dusky with fury.

"Ali that's _enough_." James warned in a low voice.

Kate watched as Ali shut her mouth instantaneously, tears sparkling in her eyes as she crossed her arms across her chest and threw her brother a baleful glare. Drew looked at Ali smugly as he stood next to Viv and stuck his tongue out at her. Ali's unusual hazel eyes flew to her father's face and James shook his head at her as he picked her up and placed a soft kiss on her wet cheek. 

"Come on now darlin', no need for the long face when you just won the game." He cajoled.

Ali who had been opening her mouth to complain loudly, stopped and stared at her father to make sure she had heard right. Tristan started to whine his objections when James fixed him with a silencing look. The little boy ducked his head in Viv's lap but he did manage to stamp his feet in silent protest. Clem started skipping a victory dance around Drew and DC who were now standing there arms crossed as if they were getting ready to do battle. James holding a now clapping and smiling Ali gave Kate a weary look and she shrugged cheekily, quite interested to see how he was going to handle the situation.

"Ali and Clem won the game by _default_, Drew should _never_ have hit his sister, Ali hush Nana's not done yet… We'll have a final round of boys against girls to determine the Ford Twister Trophy winners." Viv said to the room.

"I wouldn't play with Ali if she was the _last Ford girl ever_!" Drew exclaimed sulkily.

"Yeah me neither!" Tristan called out from under Viv's arm where he was hiding.

"Na na na na na _we won _by default!" Ali taunted from James' arms.

"_Daddy! _Ali's startin' on me!" Drew tattled.

"Am _not_, I'm just_ tellin'_ you as it is _Doo-doo head_!"

"That's it you better not come down from there or I'll make you _really _sorry with a knuckle sandwich!" 

"I'm not scared of you, I've got a _double_ knuckle sandwich waitin' for you whenever you want it you st-!" 

James brought a hand up and covered the bottom half of Ali's face and shook his head at her. Kate and Lauren shook their heads as they exchanged a look that asked where the kids got their material from. Shrugging philosophically, Kate found herself laughing at the mischief twinkling in Ali's hazel eyes as she wiggled her eyebrows at her father. James although his lips weren't smiling had an identical impish expression in his blue eyes.

Viv said something to Mel then rang the little bell she had next to her to get everyone's attention. The whole room turned to look at her but it was Mel who spoke.

"There'll be _no_ knuckle sandwiches, Grandma's decided the _grown ups_ should play the last round. Since Lauren and Viv aren't playing, Kate and I will play for the girls and Ford and Jay can play for the boys." 

All five children turned to stare at Kate noticing her for the first time since she'd walked in. Ali and Clem sized her up and then shared a look that communicated their approval of her capabilities as a limber player. Tristan waved at Kate from Viv's lap, a prime location he'd slyly managed to secure himself, while Drew and DC who were leaning on Mel squealed in excited agreement. They had no doubts the boys were going to win the trophy now, from the alarmed look on her face they decided Kate would not be too much to handle for their father and Uncle Jay. 

The alarmed look on Kate's face had Jay in hysterics but he sobered up quickly enough when Mel approached, elbowing him hard in the ribs. James set Ali down; then cracking his knuckles in anticipation of the face off, winking at the children confidently. Ali and Clem grabbed Kate's hands and dragged her to the edge of the mat chatting words of encouragement as she watched James and Jay flexing their muscles and making other warm up gestures in anticipation.

"Come on now Sweetness, ain't nothin' but a harmless game of Twister nothin' near as taxin' as your gymnastics last night." Jay teased.

Kate blushed and shook her head at his impertinence, but found herself smiling despite herself.

"No fair we missed the gymnastics last night!" Tristan complained from Viv's lap.

The adults chuckled indulgently and James raised an eyebrow at this comment, his partner in crime strenuously avoiding his gaze. Clapping her hands once, Mel prodded Jim to officiate for the game. All the children started cheering for their respective sexes, taunting each other whenever it looked like one side was about to beat the other. Throughout the game, Kate and James played eye-tag, whenever she would look at him he would not be looking and their eyes would meet briefly before Kate, the vulnerability and doubts she was feeling as to where they stood welled up unbidden in her eyes and she looked away. When James and Mel got eliminated out of the game, the brunette breathed a sigh of relief; she found it easier to deal with Jay.

"Well, well, Sweetness you sure you wanna play against me, I'm a pro at Twister on an' _off_ the mat." Jay teased, as the next move had his left leg in between Kate's.

"Unh huh, you Fords are all a lot of hot air." Kate countered a cocky grin on her face.

"_Us Fords_? In case you weren't listenin' last night_ you're_ a Ford too!" Jay whispered in her ear as Kate's move of her right hand, brought them closer together.

Kate smirked at him; rolling her eyes she whispered back, "Okay, then you Ford _men_ are all a lot of hot air." 

Jay smiled at this as he swung his left arm over Kate into the green circle; they were facing each other now. Giving her a once over that was identical to the one James always bestowed on her he looked into her twinkling eyes, his own widening at the challenging glint in them.

"You would know all about that wouldn't ya?" He finally, managed, more than a little affected by her natural charm.

Kate giggled, nodding slightly in response. 

"_Come on_ Kate! You can_ beat_ him! _Come on_!" Ali and Clem chanted, as they jumped up and down on the sidelines.

Kate glanced up at them and gave them a dazzling self-assured grin. As her eyes swept across the room she saw a glowering James leaning against the wall, watching the game through narrowed eyes. A flare of excitement went through her, the closeness between her and Jay was making him jealous! She turned back to look into Jay's whiskey-brown eyes. He gave her a sheepish smile.

"I saw you were _fine_ from the first instant I laid eyes on you but_ girl_, you could get a man _killed_! Get us some Cane an' Abel, biblical shit goin' down an' as fine as you are I _ain't _down for that." Jay murmured to her, before craning his neck away from her.

"Wh-"

"Ford Twister Timeout!" Jay called out.

"What?_ NO_!" Drew and Tristan protested.

Jay disentangled himself from Kate carefully, and standing up quickly, addressed the room, "Sorry y'all but I wanna live to see my thirtieth birthday this year, so I'm switchin' with cousin Ford here." 

He marched up to James and dragged him from the wall, bringing him to the Twister mat. Pointing down at the mat where Kate still held her position, Jay nodded sharply and dusted his hands together. 

"We allow switches, so I'm usin' my God given right as a Ford to switch Twister partners. Peace, I'm out y'all." 

That said he picked up Drew and setting him on his shoulders snatched the game card from Jim, spinning the needle and calling out for James to get his right arm on the red circle. 

Kate grinned in challenge, ready to see if James would get down on the mat and finish off the game or not. James gave her an answering grin and got down on the floor, mimicking Jay's earlier position and moving his right hand into the correct circle which effectively had Kate trapped in his arms. His grin widened, becoming positively feral.

"I gotta say Sweetcheeks, I'm quite impressed by your ability to contort, brings a whole new level of closeness to the game. Makes me wonder if you chose to play it this way on purpose." 

"Oh _please_, get over yourself." Kate snapped, unnerved by the proximity despite her best intentions to maintain the psychological upper hand.

The next move had Kate bring her left leg over James' right thigh in order to get it on the yellow circle. Just then an argument broke out between Ali and Jay as she argued that he was trying to make the girls lose. Tristan joined in telling Ali she was a scaredy cat because she knew they were going to lose. Clem added her voice to the protest and Drew and DC joined in too.

James chuckled, quite comfortable in his current position although Kate wasn't. She frowned in concentration, bringing her green eyes to meet his; they exchanged a knowing look that acknowledged that after last night they were in a different place. Her eyes twinkled at the unspoken challenge in his.

"I missed you this morning." Kate joked softly.

James simply smirked and the emerald eyes lost their glint, darkening with hurt.

"What can I say _Lazy_, some of us gotta get up an' do something'."

Despite herself, she couldn't hide her smile of relief. His heart contracted.

"Papa! _Move_ your right _foot_ onto the yellow circle!" Ali commanded she was now in possession of the game card. Jay had a put upon expression on his face.

James complied, rolling his eyes in the process he whispered in Kate's ear, "Anythin' else your Royal Bossiness?" 

Kate giggled at this, her laughter exacerbated by James hot breath on her neck.

"Papa _stop _makin' Kate laugh an' _listen_, _God_!" Ali scolded as she spun the needle indignantly.

"Kate! Left_ hand_ yellow!" Ali ordered.

With a deft maneuver Kate managed to get her hand on the yellow circle. The girls breathed out an impressed sigh at her dexterity. She was no longer facing James, her butt pressed against his groin. 

"Looks like you got yourself a fan club." James whispered in her ear.

Kate ignored him.

"Babygirl! If Freckles_ falls_, do the boys win?" James called out to Ali.

"_YES_!" Yelled the boys excitedly.

"Well in _that_ case, Sassafras why don't you press yourself against ma crotch a little more, I gotta member ready to be put on the circle _right here_." James suggested softly as he slyly started to nibble on the soft skin of her neck.

Kate burst out in nervous laughter but shook her head, "That's not gonna work."

"I _assure_ you _it_ works Peaches, just press on in an' you'll see for yourself." James quipped in that same low tone that made their conversation private. He upped the ante a little by stroking the tip of his tongue over the edge of her ear.

Ali called out some more positions and they contorted some more. Kate's arms began to quiver from the combined strain of holding her place and the incredible effort it took not to respond to the growing heat coming from James' loins and wayward tongue.

"_Stop it!_" Kate hissed through gritted teeth as yet another unwanted erotic shiver snaked down her spine.

"Even if I _wanted _to I _can't_ help it." James hissed back, adding a little more pressure with his hips and catching an earlobe in between his teeth he sucked on it, hard.

"Ali! _Please_ spin me a winner!" Kate called out in a desperate voice; small beads of sweat had broken out on her upper lip and a dull flush crept up her face as she tried to blot out the desire swelling inside her like the waves of a tsunami.

"I'm_ tryin'_ Kate! Maybe if_ you_ stopped _talkin'_ to Papa an' _paid attention to me_ we'd have _won_ already!" Ali replied, her tone accusing.

Kate rolled her eyes and Jay from where he stood next to Ali nodded as if to say yes, she really had given birth to a tyrant!

James stopped his sensual assault and turning his head up and away from her; grinned at Drew and DC wickedly before he leaned in and licked the side of Kate's face. Naturally she shrieked in protest and due to her knee-jerk reaction fell flat on her face, kicking out one of James' feet in the process. He landed right on top of her, laughing right along with her as they lay on the mat in a tangle of arms and legs. The boys were cheering and jumping around wildly, while Ali threw the game board on the floor and crossed her arms in helpless fury.

"Dammit _Kate_ you _lost us_ the trophy!" She shrieked

Rolling over, Kate looked into James' eyes, "Please don't get up, I think Ali is going to draw and quarter me." 

"An' she will too… Don't worry Baby, I wasn't gonna anyway, I've got a hard on the size of Texas here."

"I know it's _branding_ my hip as we speak..." 

"That's not all it can do." He murmured seductively.

Kate narrowed her eyes at him, she knew that the kids had not been able to see most of what he'd been doing to her but even if the adults had not seen, it had been obvious all the same. Deciding to give him a taste of his own medicine she brought her hands to his sides then up his back and to his shoulders. Leaning up she lowered her eyes and brought her lips up to his, when they were nothing but a hair's breadth apart she closed her eyes and hooking her leg around his ankle used it as leverage to twist up and roll him off her. James hit his head on the Twister mat with a soft thud and before he could react Kate had nimbly got to her feet, grabbing the nearest glass to her she dumped its entire contents on his head. Ali and Clem clapped and cheered, deriving some pleasure out of the dramatic gesture.

"I don't know about you girls but I think we deserve some ice cream!" Kate exclaimed as she grinned at them. 

There were more cheers as Kate led the way into the kitchen not even bothering to look back at James who was spluttering furiously while the rest of the room erupted in raucous laughter at his expense.

An hour later Kate waved as the van carrying the last of James' extended family members drove down the driveway and out the gates. Turning away, she walked back into the house leaving Viv, James, Tristan and the triplets out on the porch. Clem had hitched a ride with the outgoing caravan. Pushing the kitchen door open she approached Mel who was humming softly to herself as she unloaded the dishwasher. Her eyes were unusually bright.

"Hey." Kate said simply.

"I'm fine Kate." Mel said defensively.

"Of course you are." 

Mel slammed the cutlery on the counter-top, fixing Kate with a steely glare; she put her hands on her hips and nodded.

"That's what Ford men are like, charming, witty an' total assholes. You've just forgotten the last part because you an' Ford did the nasty last night." 

"Mel-"

"Don't Mel me! It's true." 

Kate ducked her head, stifling a grin.

"Unh huh, I'm not blind or stupid."

"I never said you were! Why am I being attacked here? I just wanted to make sure you were okay!" Kate protested good-naturedly. 

"I'm fine. That argument with Jay and Patsy is just us being Fords. Just be thankful everyone's still looking at you in a good light otherwise it could've been you. In this family's history there's never been a gathering that hasn't ended with harsh words being exchanged." Mel shrugged matter-of-factly. Then an unholy glint sparkled in her eyes as she suddenly grinned at Kate.

"But since you're in the mood to talk 'bout_ feelings_ how 'bout we talk about you and that _glow_ you got going on today."

The older woman shook her head, "No_ I'd_ rather not."

Mel sidled up to her, "Unh huh whatever. Well I for one wanna know what's up with all that hanky panky on the Twister mat. I thought you were mad at him."

"I am… I mean I _was_ mad at him and _I _didn't indulge in any hanky panky, if you remember correctly it was _your_ cousin who was _doing_ all the hanky!" Kate objected, her face flooding with color.

"I didn't see you fighting him _off _neither… An' you _so_ wanna do whatever y'all did last night again!" Mel ribbed.

"I do_ not_!" 

"_Do too_! And we will continue to argue this point until you admit it!"

"Okay fine _maybe_ I _do_!" Kate admitted, hiding her face in her hands.

"_Maybe_?"

"Mel, I didn't know you could be so cruel…" Kate muttered through her fingers.

"You mean persistent… So?"

"So _what_?"

"_So_ what's _stopping_ ya?"

Kate threw her hands up in resignation, "I don't know if he does."

Mel raised her eyebrows at this.

"Despite all that stuff on the Twister mat… he-."

"He _what_?" James asked from where he stood in the doorway.

Kate's eyes widened and she blanched as she looked at Mel anxiously. Her heart had just dropped to her stomach, how much had he heard? The teen shrugged and with a chuckle left the room.

Kate turned around slowly in her seat and stared at her hands, too scared to look up.

James ambled over to where she sat and put a forefinger beneath her chin and forced her face up to look at him.

"What more do you need other than the stuff on the Twister mat, Freckles?" James asked softly.

She stared at him for a long time before she gripped the hand holding her face up, "I heard the triplets talking earlier, and they said something about how they found you _asleep_ in _your bed_ this morning."

He closed his eyes at this and dragging a stool to face her, sat down.

"Does that change what happened last night or on the Twister mat?"

"No, but it's certainly not as simple as me being _lazy _as you put it earlier." 

"You make it sound like nothin' would have made you happier or made you feel any better than findin' me in your bed when you finally woke up today." James said with a world of wisdom in his voice.

She looked away guiltily, he knew her well. Regardless of the day's interaction, there were still plenty of unresolved issues between them. He took her hands in his and stroked her palms with his thumbs. She looked back at him, she held her breath unsure of what to say or do next. He shook his head at her slightly, and she released the air trapped in her chest. They sat like that for a while, the air eventually thickening as they exchanged increasingly lust-filled gazes.

"So what happens now?" Kate asked her voice husky.

"_Now_, as in_ tonight_,or now as, in the near distant future? Last I checked the ball was in _your_ court on _both_ counts." James replied evasively. 

He was definitely not going to pretend that their current ceasefire was not on the brink of a total collapse just because today had been a good day for them. He knew her and knew himself better than that. Kate sucked in a breath, but before she could speak Drew and Ali came barreling into the kitchen, closely followed by DC and Tristan.

"We're hungry!"

"Yeah Papa we're _starvin'_!"

"_Wastin'_ away!"

"To_ nothin'_! Look at how skinny Tree's gotten!"

"Alright, _alright_! I'm hungry too an' I'm too damn tired to cook. There ain't no left overs since all those good for nothin' Fords _ate _'em all an' I know neither Viv or Mel are gonna cook… So, what we gonna do 'bout that then?" James asked as he pulled Drew onto his lap. 

The other three kids surrounded him looking at him then at Kate when he finished talking. The room was silent for a few seconds.

"Well since _Kate_ here, didn't _do_ nuthin' 'cause she was sleepin' all day, I think _she_ should cook!" David suggested, squinting one eye at Kate as he spoke.

"Yeah!"

"Yeah! _Kate_ should cook!"

"Yeah Kate, _you_ should cook!"

James chuckled as he turned to look at the nominated chef.

Kate held her hands up in acquiescence, "Okay, okay! _Fine_! _I'll _cook!" 

Getting up she gave James a weird look and then set about finding food to cook and the right utensils to cook it in. James and the kids moved to the kitchen table and watched her make her preparations. Fifteen minutes later; while their mother wiped copious tears from her face as she badly chopped an onion that still had half it's skin on, they gave their father a look of desperation and laughingly he got up to absolve Kate from the responsibility she was evidently ill-equipped to shoulder.

**One Hour Later**

"Alright now Mel I know you gotta watch out for your fat ass but Viv only turns seventy-five once so we'll just chalk it up to post-celebration indulgence alright?" 

James spooned the delicious looking chicken Mexican rice onto Mel's plate while she stuck her tongue out at him.

"My ass is not fat it's pretty hot and temptin'!"

"That's how it starts then next thing you're on Weight Watchers." James said in a voice heavy with regret.

"What's Weight Watchers?" Ali asked.

"Nothin' for you to worry 'bout Babylove." 

"Does that mean I get lots of rice on my plate then Papa?" 

"As much as you can eat Princess." James spooned some on her plate then winked at her.

"We boys don't have to watch our asses do we Papa?" Drew asked with twinkling eyes.

"Language." Viv chided gently.

"Sorry Nana! I meant to say we boys don't have to watch our bootys do we Papa?" 

Kate bit back a laugh, the sheer wit the children possessed never ceased to amaze her.

"No son y'all don't have to watch your butts, 'cause God made our bodies with a lot less fat."

"Why?" Tristan asked as he happily forked rice into his mouth.

James sitting down next to him reached over and wiped a grain of rice off his chin.

"Well son, I think its gotta do with them havin' breasts an' carryin' babies in their bellies."

"Oh no!" Tristan sympathized shaking his head as he looked at Mel and Kate. In his mind his great-grandmother was too omnipotent to be classified as a baby-carrying female, so she was exempt from his commiseration.

James broke off some of his cornbread and started to liberally spread butter on it, a wicked grin twisting his lips, "I know son, it's really too bad an' I think it's also got somethin' to do with why we were able to win the Twister Trophy today." 

The table erupted as the outraged females at the table took umbrage to the insinuation. Kate especially took offence seeing as James was basically suggesting she had lost the girls the Twister Trophy because she had more body fat than him. Unsurprisingly, James sat back and smiled to himself, winking at his sons who winked back as they practically inhaled their food. After a few minutes everyone quieted down and got down to the business of eating. When they were done Mel huffily got up to clear the dishes with Kate's help. Viv went into the pantry and brought out what was left of Cassidy's raspberry sorbet from the night before. Ali, David and Tristan hurriedly went to get bowls and spoons while Drew wiped the table. Sitting down again, Kate gave James a dirty look. Graciously accepting the sorbet she primly dipped her spoon in the bowl. James shrugged at this and letting Tristan climb onto his lap took his bowl from Viv.

"No fair, I wanna sit on Papa's knee!" David whined.

"Well you can't 'cause I'm sittin' here stupid!" Tristan mocked.

"I can too!" David said as he made a move for his father's lap.

James hefted him up onto his lap; balancing a child on each knee he gave Mel a martyred look. The whole thing seemed to have improved her mood greatly as she grinned at him and gestured with her chin at Ali and Drew who were getting ready to complain. Kate took note of all this, and watched with interest.

"Me too Papa!" 

"No, I think I should sit 'cause you're a girl an' you're just gonna break his bones with all that fat… So go an' sit on Mel or Kate's lap, they've got paddin'!' Drew argued with an air of superiority.

"I'm not fat an' even if I was I'm only little an' Papa's big an' strong so I can sit on his lap if I want!"

"But I don't want you to!"

"You're not the boss of me!"

The two started shoving each other then Drew grabbed Ali's hands to stop her from shoving him, she struggled in vain to free her hands then let out a high pitched scream in his face. Drew pulled her forward and tried to put his arm over her mouth without letting go of her hands.

"Daddy look at what your stupid son is doin' to me!"

"Dja stupid!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"DADDDEEEEE!"

"Basta!" Viv yelled.

Kate who was sitting next to her started, she did not recall the old woman ever raising her voice that loud before. Ali and Drew stopped and looked at Viv guiltily.

"Drew let go of your sister and both of you can come and sit on my lap."

This statement was followed by a scramble and a flurry that ended with both children sitting happily on Viv, looking across at Tristan and DC whose mixed feelings about this situation were reflected on their faces. Kate shook her head in wonder, admiring the equanimity on James' face as he finally started to eat his own dessert.

"Is it always like this?" Kate asked with a smile in her bewildered voice.

"Pretty much." James replied, looking down lovingly into Tristan and David's faces. They beamed up at their father.

"It's much better than it used to be, when they were babies… my God!" Mel supplied, she grinned wryly and shook her head in remembrance.

"Yes that was much worse." Viv nodded in agreement, a tender smile on her face too.

James made a face and suppressed a shudder, "I don't think I was sane back then." 

"Why's that?" Kate asked intrigued.

"Hmm… how do I put this? Ummm yes… to put it simply _they_ all drove me crazy." James pointed at Ali and Drew while he jiggled Tristan and David. All four of them chuckled unapologetically.

"Oh God yes! The constant squabbling, the crying, the competitiveness and the chatter!" Mel recounted.

Viv squeezed the two on her lap affectionately and smiled at Mel in agreement. Kate found herself leaning in, drinking up the information on the early years with an interest she did not dare give any attention to.

"Yeah I definitely remember the cryin'!" James said, giving Ali and Drew a mock stern look.

"Oh Lord! Ford would stumble 'round the farmhouse in Canada not having slept in two-three days and he'd be carrying the trick toys and the baby bottles, barely capable of speech." Viv explained to Kate.

"What are trick toys?"

"Trick toys are the toys that worked on each or all of them to get them to stop crying or fussing." Mel supplied.

"Two-three days?" Kate asked incredulously, diverting her green gaze to James.

He shrugged.

"Oh yeah, definitely. Three of us and four of them. We were vigilant but Ford was like going for a medal in that category. He even fashioned these overalls in which he could plop Tristan in while he fed the triplets."

"And also hold all the baby paraphernalia as I named it." Viv added.

"What was the baby paraphernalia?" Kate asked.

"Oh… there was gripe water, a medicine spoon for babies, soothers, baby wipes, a couple of diapers, baby monitor and a bottle of formula… that's it right?" Viv asked Mel.

"Yeah, it had all these pockets and it held all that stuff. Don't forget the packet of smokes!" 

She turned to explain to Kate, "He had this packet of smokes which he'd take out every once in a while… he never actually smoked the cigarettes but he'd take out one and put in his mouth and go 'round the house doing whatever and there'd be this cigarette hanging off his lip-"

"I'd ask him if he'd lost his damn mind then he'd usually mumble something unintelligible back at me. I'd take the cigarette and hand it to Mel; he would snatch it from Mel and shove it back in the box. Grab whichever baby I was holding and demand to know why_ I_ wasn't resting!"

Mel let out a rich chuckle at this, "It happened _exactly_ like that _every_ single time it was so funny… And if one pack was completely ruined he'd get one of us to get him another one at the store."

"Wow, it sounds like a crazy time." Kate remarked trying to picture it all.

"Oh it was! Then there was the way he used to freak out when we would finally get him to sleep and he'd sleep for like 10 hours straight or something, then jack-knife out of bed or the sofa or off the floor or wherever and he'd tear through the house formula bottle in one hand and baby monitor in another. And he'd be like, "I'm awake! I'm right here! Where the hell are my kids?" Or some sort of variation of that. He'd go into the nursery if they were all asleep and he'd check heartbeats, fingers, toes, pupil dilation before he'd calm down enough to let me or Viv give him some coffee and drag him into the kitchen to get him to eat. Most of the times he'd refuse and curse us out, insisting he sit in the nursery and eat there where he could see them."

Kate looked at James with different eyes; he shrugged self-deprecatingly then shook his head ruefully, "Like I said they drove me crazy, Mel an' Viv included."

"'Cept for me, right Papa?" Tristan piped up.

James looked down at his son and touched his forehead to Tristan's, "Except for you son, you were the most happy little angel, you slept like…well a baby an' you almost never cried."

Kate's eyes widened in surprise, "You mean-"

Viv nodded emphatically, "Oh yes, the triplets were quite an armful… they were like a well co-ordinated terrorist unit."

"It's 'cause we're Fords!" Drew interjected in their defence.

"It's 'cause God wanted to make sure I knew I still had some life in me." Viv reflected.

"Well ain't that swell! Tell you what Viv, next time you an' God wanna communicate, don't use _my_ life as your medium." James retorted. 

"Oh Papa!" Ali said with a rueful shake of her head.

"Oh Papa what?" 

"You're such a drama queen!" Ali said primly.

Everyone chuckled at this. As they cleared the dessert dishes, Kate decided to stow away all the information she had gleaned from this conversation for a later date. 

It was 10 o'clock at night and Kate lay back on her bed and smiled to herself, the rest of the evening had progressed very well. After the kids had been put to bed, Viv, Mel, James and Kate had sat out on the porch and enjoyed a cup of coffee and liqueur chocolates before everyone had retired to their respective rooms. 

She knew she should start making plans to go and find Sayid but right now she felt so content that she could not muster the strength to even mentally prepare for the journey. Her mind bursting with the new insight she had gleaned at the dinner table wandered down the path it had taken when she had woken up earlier, and she once again contemplated forgetting the entire thing completely.

Her door opened on its silent hinges and Kate sat up sharply, her heartbeat racing. She let out an audible sigh when she saw it was James; he pushed the door shut and looked at her, the expression on his face unmistakable. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then, as if she had no control of her body, she raised herself up onto her knees on the bed as he approached. Her arms reaching out for him as if of their own volition, she brought her lips up to meet his when he ducked his head towards hers. 

They shared a deep kiss and when they pulled away, Kate smiled up at him in welcome, biting her lip she started to unbuckle his belt as he buried his hands in her hair and pulled her face up for another kiss. It was with a light heart that she met his lips again and again for kisses that got longer and longer as they shed their clothing. Naked finally, Kate grabbed him, fully aroused as he was and flexed her fingers as she held onto him. James growled at her as he pushed her back on the bed. She lay where she fell chuckling seductively as he spread her legs with his knee and covered her body with his. Holding onto both her wrists he stroked his thigh against her core, searing her with his body heat while the slick intimate folds told him all he needed to know about her readiness for what was to follow. She cried out at the contact and spread her legs further rubbing herself against him. He grit his teeth trying to restrain himself but all was lost when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pushed him backwards until he was kneeling. Their tongues met in a wild tussle as James supporting her turned them around so that he was leaning against the headboard. Kate planted her feet firmly on the mattress on either side of him and bearing down, sighed with relief upon full penetration. Leaning forward she gripped his lower lip with her teeth as she began to move slowly. 

James growled again, pulling his lips away from hers he pushed her head back a little and bent his head down to bite her nipple playfully. Kate let out a stifled cry as desire stabbed down to the place where they were joined. He began to move faster and she matched his tempo and increased it, all of a sudden overcome with a growing wildness that would only be satisfied by an equal fervor in him. He did not disappoint and it was as she bit down hard on his shoulder in release mere minutes later that he pushed her back and expertly flipping her over, entered from behind and sought his own. She gripped the headboard with shaking fingers as his hands feverishly explored the parts of her body they could access; palming her knees, snaking up her thighs and to the cradle of her pelvis and higher. She clawed at the headboard, biting her lip in an attempt to muffle her cries as he plunged into her over and over again; forcing her towards the brink she'd just fallen over. When his release came she achieved a second one herself, their bodies sliding slickly against each other in exquisite exhaustion. Laughing softly, she turned around and looked into his eyes, kissing each lid she laid back and looked at the face she knew so well.

He ran a lazy hand across her eyes while his other hand traveled down her body, the night was young and he had a lot more to share with her.

_**What do you think? Was that too much? I think that's the raunchiest sex scene I've ever written... Should I just give up the pretence of being a writer now? Feed me please dahlings!**_


	19. Chapter 18 Back to Black

Chapter 18 – Back to Black

\/p>

**Chapter 18 ****–**** Back to Black**

James untangled himself from the warm limbs wrapped around him like the satin shackles they were. Regretfully, he crept out of the bed, casting one last glance at the one woman who had the power to build him up and also to destroy him with a single beat of her treacherous heart. She was bright, burning passion and she was deep soul-destroying hate beautifully packaged by a divine hand, her aim possessing the instinctive certainty to hit its target like an inter ballistic missile. Drawing back the canopy curtains, he snuck out of the bed and donned his boxers and bathrobe, before he gently pulled the curtains shut again and walking on silent feet he let himself out of her room. Pushing back the door to his own bedroom, he looked at the large perfectly made bed with its cream colored sheets and pillows and pulling back the covers in the pre-dawn light he collapsed in an exhausted heap drawing the sheet over him, not even bothering to remove his robe. It did not take him long to fall asleep, his body sated and tired and his mind unwilling to go down the perfidious paths it was yearning to tread since Kate had come back into his life.

**Later that Morning**

"I want French toast for breakfast Papa!"

"Breakfast? Ali what do you think ya just ate!"

"That was just a starter!"

"Yeah it was just a starter! I want French toast too! An' pancakes!"

"Me too! Pancakes with maple syrup an' bacon!"

"An' waffles!"

James crossed his arms as he eyed all four children with an amused expression. Four pairs of eyes watched him with ill-suppressed anticipation as they waited for him to approve their outlandish requests. He raised both eyebrows at Drew who started slapping his palms on the kitchen table where he sat with his siblings. As usual, Ali was more than happy to lend her voice to the joint cause of getting more goodies for breakfast and she began to chant everything she and her brothers had asked for.

"Pancakes! Waffles! Maple syrup! Bacon! French toast! An'…. ICE CREAM!" 

At this last bit she snuck a sly side-glance at her father, grinning beatifically when he narrowed his eyes at her. The three boys liked the way this was going and they joined in the chant. 

Kate hovered by the kitchen door indulging herself in the secret delight she felt when she watched the precocious children interact with each other and with their father. Over the last two days she had discovered herself warming to them and the fact that they were hers at an alarming rate. It had plenty to do with the much improved relations between James and herself. Ever since the night after Viv's birthday party there had been no harsh words exchanged day or night. Then there was the nights themselves, the thought of which sent tingles skating down her skin. The nights had been like no others she had ever had, there were no words, no anger, no doubts, nor barriers, just the two of them going wherever their bodies and imaginations dared them to go and beyond. There was something so magical about those hours they stole just for themselves that gave the whole scenario a misty and unreal quality. 

'Unreal, now that's a word that aptly defines these last few days.' She thought to herself. Snapping out of her reverie as Vincentina bounded past her, barking excitedly, Kate grabbed the door frame to steady herself. Her features lit up when the children spotting her; called out her name and beckoned her to join them in their breakfast petition.

"Unh huh don't be bringin'_her_ into this now!" James groaned in protest as he distractedly scratched behind the ecstatically panting Labrador Shephard's ears, she was sitting at his feet, tail wagging furiously.

"Don't bring me into what? The… pancake-waffle-French toast-maple syrup-bacon and ice cream _extravaganza_?" Kate asked with an innocent expression on her face as she walked up to the angelic faced four-some and bestowed a kiss on each of them in greeting. 

She heard James grumble to himself in disbelief at her inflammatory statement as the children were talking over each other loudly as they argued over what should be made first. Unsurprisingly she could not find the energy to care as she wondered yet again at the clean, sweet smell of her progeny. It never ceased to amaze her how good they smelled. Had they really come from her body? She asked herself for the thousandth time that week.

James glared at Kate who after straightening up and turning around, smiled at him cheerfully and approached him bestowing an exuberant kiss on his right cheek. 

"And_ how_ are_ you_ this _glorious_ morning, Cowboy?" She asked pleasantly.

"Damn tired an' very, very _late_." James complained, he slid his right hand up her side and drew her closer to him. 

He perused her glowing, make up free face, the damp sable tresses that were giving off the scent of flowers and gave in to the urge to tuck a wet strand behind her ear. He continued his appraisal of her as he took in the uncharacteristic white muslin sun dress sprigged with little green flowers and then the bare feet with their well-manicured shell pink nail varnish. She curled her toes into the floor tiles, drawing his attention back to her face. With twinkling eyes and a very becoming flush to her cheeks she moved her head in the general direction of the kitchen table, drawing his attention back to the gourmet breakfast debate. Without thinking he bestowed a light kiss on the tip of her nose before he faced the squabbling imps.

"ENOUGH!" 

All four faces froze, looking up at their father with varying degrees of apprehension. Letting Kate go James strode up to the table and leaning on it so his face was closer to their level he stared at each of them in turn.

"You've already had _Coco Pops_ an' a slice of toast with _chocolate spread_. I can see from your hyperactivity that Mel made a bad call 'specially since she ain't here to _handle _y'all in this state. I hear another word 'bout_ pancakes_ or _waffles _an'_someone_'s gonna see the back of my hand. _Is that clear_?" 

Tristan raised his hand tentatively, "Papa?"

"Yes son?" 

"Does that include ice cream an' maple syrup, too?" 

"Yes son it does… _What_ is it Ali?" 

"What about French toa-"

"French toast too, in fact_ anythin__'_ that y'all can_ eat_ falls under the not another word category." James said in an exasperated tone.

"Even if it's somethin' we don't like to eat like…_ porridge_?" Tristan asked with wide-eyed incredulity.

There was a collective shudder of horror at the mention of the dreaded _'__p__'_ word and James had to close his eyes and grit his teeth to maintain his composure. Kate on the other hand gave in to the urge and burst out laughing from where she was leaning against the sink. Opening his eyes he fixed another stern stare on the little faces in front of him, nodding his head regretfully that even porridge could not be mentioned. Tristan covered his face with his small hands in despair at the workings of his father's mind. 

James stood up and turned away from then, unable to stifle the chuckle that bubbled up at the dramatic gesture. Kate was chewing on her thumbnail, shoulders shaking silently in mirth. James smirked at her and ambled over to where she stood.

"I'm glad you're findin' everythin' so damn funny. Try this on for size, _you__'__re_ the one who's gonna have to see the sugar high through since I've gotta go to Houston _now_ an' Viv's out all day visitin' an ol' friend in Dallas an' Mel as you know, is at school." 

"_WHAT_?" 

"Yay! We get to spend the day with Kate!" Stage whispered Drew.

"Ain't that cute? Kids are mighty happy to spend _all day_ with you!" James said as he cast a glance in their general direction before turning back to look at a decidedly stricken and deathly pale Kate.

She shook her head silently, moving to touch his arm.

"_Don't _do this to me… _please_." 

James shucked her underneath the chin and winked jauntily, "You'll be fine; they're only four bite-sized kids." 

Subject closed he turned away from her, she grabbed his arm forcefully this time, dragging him back around to face her.

"You _can__'__t_ be _serious_! _What_ do you expect _me_ to _do _with them _all day_?" She hissed at him angrily.

"They're_ kids_ Kate; you've spent how many days around them you should have an idea what goes. An' besides seein' as there is a gapin' hole where your knowledge is supposed to be, today will be a good chance to learn some things." 

"I don't _need _to spend a whole day with them to know that I know _nothing_ about parenting, I can tell you that now and save everyone here the pain and trouble. Is _that_ what you wanted to hear me say?" 

"No."

"_Then what_? I-"

"You better lower your voice right now Freckles or I'll lower it for you."

"Fine, is this better?" Kate asked in an agitated whisper. 

She nervously ran a hand through her hair while the other still maintained a bruising hold on James' arm. She did not dare look at the four faces watching their exchange with rapt attention.

"Yeah."

"If it's _not_ about you proving to me that I couldn't take the kids and raise them myself then why are you trying to leave me alone with them?"

"I'm not _tryin__'_ to leave you alone with them; I _am_ leavin' _you _alone with them. I gotta go to work. There ain't no one else here to watch them an' after all you're their biological mother so why the hell shouldn't you spend a few hours alone with them?"

"_A few hours_? That's how long it'll take you to get to _Houston_! You're talking about leaving them alone with me for an _entire day_!" She whispered hotly.

"So?"

"_So?_ I have never even babysat a ten year old let alone _four toddlers_!" She followed this up with a look that clearly stated what she thought of his mental capabilities for even suggesting she do so.

"Last night at dinner _you_ said one of your first jobs was sittin'."

"_Dog _sitting!"

"Well it's pretty much the same thing except they talk back."

"_James_-"

"Alright you four, if my rusty ole memory serves me right, Sesame Street should be on right about now!"

There was a chorus of cheers and clamor of chairs being scraped back as the children stampeded out of the kitchen and into their playroom with Vincentina in tow. Within seconds the television was on loud volume. James sighed to himself and straightening the chairs turned back to look at a stone-faced Kate. He could tell her mind was working furiously trying to come up with a successful argument to get her out of the babysitting gig. He scowled darkly at her and left the room.

"James!" She called out angrily, stomping out of the kitchen after him.

She ran to catch up with him as he picked up a briefcase and a laptop bag from the foot of stairs, two very important items she had not noticed earlier. There was also a black expensive looking canvas-material jacket he shouldered which she realized matched the black fine pressed canvas pants and white polo shirt he was wearing. Why hadn't she made the connection that he was uncharacteristically well-dressed this morning earlier? Glancing down at her summer dress she suddenly felt very exposed; she had not noticed anything because she was walking on clouds after the last few nights and she had more frivolous things on her mind. Things like convincing James to join her for a picnic and maybe a roll in the hay in the open sunshine. She felt like the biggest fool. 

Her crest-fallen face did more for her than her angry words in the kitchen and James felt torn between what he had to do and what he wanted to do. Which was stay here and comfort Kate, help her ease in slowly into the life that should have been theirs to share together in the first place but she knew almost nothing about. Lifting her chin gently, he searched her eyes and felt his chest contract at the vulnerability and shadows he saw in the emerald green depths.

"Just remember, absolutely no kiwi whatsoever, spare keys in the top drawer of the desk in my study, first aid kit in the pantry an' another in my bathroom an' the stables as well as all the cars. No more sugar for them an' Viv or I will bring dinner so don't worry 'bout cookin' for the fam. There are leftovers in the fridge you can heat up for lunch, too."

Kate nodded as if he was imparting pearls of wisdom, clearly processing everything he said.

"They know the rules an' they're quite mature an' responsible for their ages. There is no manual for lookin' after kids but you'll do just fine. "

"No… _I won__'__t_. Can't you just leave me here and _take them_ with_ you_?" Kate asked in a trembling voice.

James let go of her chin and curled his hand into a fist, she could be so damned selfish and immature it was all he could do not to try and shake some sense into her. 

"_No_, Kate, I _can__'__t_. I always go to work on Wednesdays an' I'm _already_ very_ late_, I can't find a sitter for them on such short notice an' this wasn't planned as you know. Their school's got a leak that caused them to shut the place down for the next two days an' since you _are_ here, it was the easiest solution for everyone for you to look after them." 

He spoke to her as if she was a simpleton. She bristled at this but grabbed the lapels of his coat and looked up into his eyes beseechingly.

"It's _not_ the_ easiest_ solution for _me_! You_ can__'__t_ leave me here alone with _your kids_ when I haven't even said more than five _sentences in a row_ to _any_ of them! What am I going to do with them! I have _no_ maternal instincts and I _don__'__t_ want-"

"I don't care _what _you do or don't _want_, you're in_ my_ house an' you'll pitch in just like everybody else _Your Majesty_. You've made it _perfectly_ clear that despite all your bitchin' an' moanin''bout how _I_ an' the rest of the world did you some _great injustice_ by not tellin' you 'bout these kids you couldn't _care_ less _'__bout _them or gettin'_to know_ them. You're right on one point, they are _my_ kids an' I'm leavin' you with them 'cause I ain't got no choice but let me tell you this. If I come back an' find so much as an out of place _hair_ on their heads, _I_ will put _you_ out of your misery once an' for all. _Understood?_" His voice was so dangerously low by the last word that Kate had to strain to hear it.

Sapphire blue steel burnt holes into her green eyes as she nodded mutely. He inclined his chin stiffly before he strode to the playroom door, pushing it open he took a deep calming breath.

"Rugrats! I'm goin' to Houston now… be good for Kate here, _please_? Daddy's four little angels, I know you got in ya."

"Okay!"

"Bye Papa!"

"We'll be good, promise!"

"Yeah! Angels!"

"Yeah, yeah, alright, don't overdo it now. Come give me a goodbye kiss then you little imps."

Kate watched as the children ran up to their father who'd squatted down to their level and opened his arms so each child could jostle the other as they bestowed adorable kisses on his face and small, still slightly chubby arms wrapped themselves around his neck as they in their usual fashion talked over each other in an attempt to outdo. James enveloped them all in a tight hug that squeezed the air out of them and they shrieked in delighted horror as he warned them once again to play safe and behave. Getting up with all four in his arms he looked at them each solemnly and told them he loved them. They cheerfully and more than a little endearingly told him they loved him too, as he set them down. He pinched Ali's nose between two fingers and she squealed gleefully before he gently nudged them back in the direction of the blaring television. They did not need further prompting as they clambered back onto the couch they had been sitting in and joined in the sing-a-long that was currently transmitting. James turned away from the doorway and walked past Kate picking up his bags he opened the door and gave Kate one last warning look.

"_One _outta place_ hair_ on their heads, Sassafras, an' I'll kill you with my bare hands."

"Got it." Kate said briskly. 

She slammed the door shut behind him and kicked it for good measure, stubbing her bare toe in the process. She hobbled onto the bottom step and grabbed her toe in order to study the damage, nothing serious just an angry red mark where it had made contact with the door. She rubbed at it cautiously and a few minutes later it stopped throbbing as badly as it had been. Carefully, she stood up and looked around the immaculately clean house, there was no housework to do except maybe some dusting. She went to the kitchen to find a duster but before she could return to the parlor her stomach growled in protest. She stopped and decided to fix herself a bowl of cereal, Coco Pops sounded like just the thing, so she walked into the pantry and pulled down the box. Wincing as her foot still hurt she limped to the dishwasher, it had just finished its cycle and opening it she waved the steam away and pulled a very hot bowl out of the dishwasher.

"Ow! This is really not my morning is it?" Kate asked herself bitterly as she blew on her hand to cool it before risking it a second time in order to grab a spoon. 

Setting the bowl, the cereal box and spoon on the kitchen table she walked up to the large double door fridge and took out the milk, then limped back to the table. Sitting down she poured herself some cereal and then milk, picking up her spoon she began to eat in the most precise of fashions. She was determined to salvage some dignity and self-control and she knew the best way to do this was by going about day to day things in a methodical manner until she found her equilibrium. Smiling slightly to herself she chewed thoughtfully on the cereal, in a short period of time she finished her meal and rose to clear the table. When that was done she walked cheerfully to the playroom, peeking in on the singing and dancing children she waved at them before shutting the door. Pulling her shoulders back she headed for the parlor, twirling the duster as she walked. While she had been eating her cereal she had made a decision and she was going to stick to it. If he thought she was going to do a bad job of watching his children he had another think coming. She was going to show him just who he was dealing with.

**Twelve Noon**

Kate sat at the kitchen table, absolutely exhausted by the momentous task she was trying her damnedest to succeed at; babysitting James' kids. For the first fifteen minutes after she had resolved to be the best babysitter the world had ever seen it had seemed to be working. Then Sesame Street had ended and the triplets had decided they did not care for The Teletubbies. There had been a lot of noise and talking at once coupled with Vincentina's excited barking and tail wagging which had only ended when Kate sent them outside to play on the back porch. It had afforded a short respite; a chance to gather her bearing but it was to no avail. Somehow she had managed to _over_ reheat the leftovers she had been planning on serving for lunch and now all that remained of the once upon a time bountiful meal was a small, hard, blackened mass that was stubbornly stuck in the container. No amount of poking, prodding or stabbing with the fork was yielding any results.

"Maybe if we add some water an' some milk it'll come off… an' look better?" Tristan volunteered helpfully as he peered over her arm.

She put her head in her hands and pulled at the roots; her patience, tolerance and nerves stretched to the maximum.

"I don't think that'll work Tristan."

"I think we should try it!" DC piped up from over her other arm.

"No, I don't think that's going to work, the pasta's completely ruined." Kate said grimly, struggling to keep her tone on the right side of irritable. 

She couldn't help the petulant shove she gave the container, sending the charred macaroni and cheese to the edge of the table. Two pairs of eyes, one green like hers and the other blue like James' watched her with mounting concern.

"Well let's just have ice cream then!" DC suggested.

Kate tugged at her hair some more, "No, you can't have ice cream because your Dad said no more sugar for you guys remember?"

"Can't you just give it to us anyway like Mel does? We won't tell." Tristan cajoled, his cheeks dimpling as he smiled at her sweetly.

Kate looked down at him and found some of her tension easing, disarmed by his smile. Then a frown worked its way across her brow, what if James checked the freezer and did the math? For all his bluster she knew that his words to her this morning were serious and she did not dare incur his wrath anymore.

"I said no Tristan. How come when your father says it you listen but when I do you try to con me into giving you something that you know will get me in trouble?" 

Her tone came out much sharper than she intended and Tristan sensitive as always to the feelings of adults recoiled from her and slid off his chair. DC did the same; taking his little brother's hand he cast a wary glance in her direction before he led Tristan out of the kitchen.

Sighing to herself, Kate threw her hands up in self-disgust. Great, she was alienating the children. How the hell did James reprimand them without making himself into a villain? Getting up suddenly she started and stopped unsure of what had prompted her to rise. Her hackles rose and her heart thudded dully in her chest as it sank in that she had not seen or heard Ali and Drew in over twenty minutes, around the time the doomed lunch preparations had begun. Instinctively she ran through the kitchen door and pushed open all the doors on her way to the stairs, there was no one there. Peeking out the porch windows she saw Tristan and DC playing with Vincentina as they sat on the bench, their small legs not touching the ground. Shoving the front door open she asked them if they had seen Ali or Drew and both of them shook their heads. Letting the door slam shut she ran up the stairs calling their names, she frantically looked in Viv's bedroom, Mel's, James' and the kids but there was no sign of them. She clasped her hands across her forehead in apprehension her worried green eyes fell on Tristan and DC who'd followed her into the house. They glanced surreptitiously at her bedroom door and Kate catching the look pushed it open. The scene that greeted her made her gasp out loud in a combination of relief and shocked outrage.

The made quite a tableau; as Ali stood on the dressing table stool while Drew sat on the table top facing his sister and everyone else in the room; both of them frozen in fear. In Ali's hands was the bottle of Kate's very expensive hundred dollar per ml personalized foundation that she had to fly to France and buy in person. All over Ali's hands, arms, neck, face, legs and jean shorts, not to mention the dressing table top, Drew's legs, face, arms, shirt and hair were the contents of the bottle.

"Oh My GOD! What is the matter with you children? That bottle is an over a thousand dollar's worth of foundation! What is wrong with you!"

"Wow! Drew you did it! You covered them all!" Tristan exclaimed as he approached his siblings.

Kate grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the dressing table, running into the bathroom, she grabbed the two nearest towels she could find and approached the messy children that were staring at her dumbly. When she reached for Ali, the little girl tried to move away, Kate tsked in impatience and lifted her off the stool and set her on the floor abruptly, causing the remaining foundation to spill out of Ali's hand and onto Kate's white muslin dress. To add insult to injury, Ali laughed, joined by her equally made up brother. Without thinking Kate let her hand fly and smacked her in the face. Then turning to Drew, she pulled the little boy off the dressing table and spanked him twice and hard. The two children wailed like the very heavens were coming down. The red haze of fury that had surrounded her faded and it was with a sinking heart that Kate saw what she had done. Turning to Tristan and David as if in supplication; they retreated and it was her turn to recoil as she saw the hurt betrayal on their shocked small faces. Then everything happened as if on fast-forward.

"You_ hit__my __**sister**_!" Tristan screamed at her.

"Nobody hits _my_ sister!" David added angrily.

Before Kate could react the two boys threw themselves at her, kicking, scratching and biting in a frenzy. When she finally got a hold of them, Ali and Drew were picking up items off her dresser and throwing them at her. She shrieked as she ducked a flying hairbrush and a bottle of perfume that crashed on the plush carpet harmlessly. She was forced however to let go of the two boys when they both bit down on her fingers. Releasing them they stumbled but managed to right themselves, Tristan picked up the now empty bottle of foundation and threw it at her, tears of rage sparkling in his green eyes.

"You're a very big bad meanie!" Ali added for good measure from where she stood in the protected circle formed around her by her brothers.

The little boys had crossed their arms and were looking at Kate like she was the Devil incarnate, an opinion she was beginning to share with them as the enormity of what had transpired in the last few minutes sank in. More than ever she wished James was here to handle this situation she did not have the foggiest idea as to how to go about making this right. Tears pricked behind her lids as she looked at their hostile faces, she bit back a sob when she saw the tears in Ali, Tristan and Drew's eyes. David was the only dry-eyed one among the children and his narrowed midnight blue eyes looked so much like his father's that it made Kate want to run and hide. All five of them stood like that for a long time chests heaving with varying degrees of anger and hurt. For their mother her mind was still blank as she tried to think of something to say or do to make everything better. Finally, she unclenched her fists and forcing herself to take a deep breath she walked into the bathroom, and bending over the bathtub, opened the faucet, adjusting the knob until the temperature was right she put the plug in and watched the water start to fill. Looking up she saw that Ali and David were standing in the doorway watching her warily. Tristan and Drew were right behind them peering over their shoulders. Kate steeled herself for protests as she grabbed a towel off the rack and snapped it between her hands. It was meant to be a cool looking trick but the backward step the children took her told her it had not translated so well in reality.

"Drew and Ali get in the tub please." Kate ordered them in a polite voice she used when she dealt with a difficult subordinate.

They shuffled towards her hesitantly, stopping by the tub they looked at the amount of water with wide eyes. She turned to look and let out a low curse, she had ran too much water in the tub. Turning the faucet off she pulled the plug out and watched some of it pour down the drain before plugging it again. She turned to the children expectantly and saw that they had removed their stained clothing. Helping each one of them into the tub, she picked up a fresh washcloth from the shelf that held another towel and soaping it, scrubbed Ali then Drew's face vigorously. They both choked from holding their breaths so long and opened their eyes with the soap still in them. Panicking Kate, scooped water in both her hands and used it to rinse the suds off quickly. Both kids gave her an accusing glare and she steeled herself against any remorse she felt as she soaped the cloth some more then made Ali stand up so she could wash her from neck to toe. First the front then the back, when she was done she made the girl sit back down and started to soap the dark brown curls. She was still sporting her hairstyle from Viv's party but the foundation had worked itself into the cornrows so Kate briskly pulled the elastic bands off, undid the intricate braiding and washed Ali's hair too. She did not see the grim look on Ali's face as she did this. 

"I'm gonna wash myself Kate." Drew told her in a horrified voice.

Kate looked at the little boy and could not help but admire the stubborn expression on his face. Nodding she rinsed Ali's hair and handed the little boy the wash cloth, he practically snatched it from her. Grabbing the last clean towel off the shelf she gestured for Ali to stand and when the little girl did, she wrapped her in it then picked her up. As soon as she set her down Ali made a run for it, Tristan and David bringing up the rear in order to thwart any attempt Kate could make to restrain their sister. Kate let out a frustrated breath as she stopped in the doorway, a few seconds later she heard the children's bedroom door slam shut. She took a deep breath and turned to face Drew who was watching her closely, the expression on his face was distrustful and when she made to approach he shook his head at her his features tight with apprehension. Sighing, she lowered her head in defeat and left him to wash himself, deciding that her efforts were better spent trying to clean the mess in her room. A few minutes later he had stopped splashing around so she knocked on the door softly before walking in with the least soiled towel; he stood up, covering up his privates and she wrapped him in it before she picked him up and set him down. He walked out of the bathroom hurriedly and ran to his bedroom, knocking on the door and loudly demanding his siblings open the door in a frantic voice. The door opened enough to let him in and then was swiftly slammed shut again. Kate felt like crying, could anything else go wrong?

**Thirty Minutes Later**

"Kids, I've made you some lunch please come down to the kitchen and eat." Kate said tentatively as she stood outside their bedroom door.

There was loud whispering and a thud before Tristan opened the door a crack, and said, "We're comin' now go away!"

The door shut again and Kate biting her lip in a bid to stifle the sob that was rising nodded resignedly. Walking down the hallway she went downstairs and entered the kitchen, studying the table she'd set carefully. A few minutes later the children came in; solemnly taking their seats, they stared at the food in their plates. None of them looked at her but they snuck surreptitious glances at each other. Picking up their forks they poked and prodded at the macaroni and cheese before each trying some. Ali was the first one to make a face and spit it out. The other three swiftly followed suit.

"Yuck!"

"Eeww!" 

"What is this?" 

"It's disgustin'!"

Kate closed her eyes. It looked like things could get worse after all.

"What is this?" Drew demanded again, fixing outraged blue-green eyes on Kate.

"It's Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I made it perfect-"

"Perfectly yucky!" Ali exclaimed.

"Now come on guys, look here's the box, I made it exactly like it says." Kate argued, picking the box off the counter and setting it on the table for the children to see.

They studied the box and looked at each other before turning back to glare at her.

"Nana never makes it from a box." Drew stated.

"Yeah, an' it's never _orange_." David wrinkled his nose as he pushed his plate away like he thought it might jump up and attack him.

"An' it _always_ tastes good even when Papa or Mel or Aunt Cassidy make it." Tristan declared as he pushed his plate away too and crossed his arms.

"Yeah! They _never _make it from a _box_." Ali added she pushed her plate away so violently it slid off the edge of the table and clattered loudly to the floor. Luckily it was a plastic plate so thankfully it did not break.

Kate brought her hands up to her face and took a few deep breaths, her shoulders quivering under the strain of trying to keep it together. Sliding into the nearest chair she put her hands on the table, all four children flinched when she had pulled her hands away from her face. They watched her warily.

"Look guys, I'm sorry about what happened earlier in my room and I know it's not the real thing but it really doesn't taste that bad, I can't cook like your Dad or Viv or Mel or Aunt Cassidy so this will have to do, can't you just eat it?" 

They watched her for a few seconds then Ali's eyes lit up, "Kate can't cook! Kate can't cook!" She taunted.

Her brother's faces lit up mischievously as they joined in the sing-song taunt. Moving with lightning speed they slid out of their chairs, shoving their plates over the edge of the table in mimic of Ali's action earlier. Dancing around the plates on the floor they continued to sing their new song. To her horror Kate felt the tears spill over her cheeks at the sight of the orange pasta shells, a shiny mess on the black and white tiles. The children stopped dancing and stared at her, then as if it served to fuel the fire they started to chant about her lack of culinary skills some more. The object of their scorn laid her head on her arms on the table and sobbed.

**A Few Hours Later**

James jauntily drove the car up the driveway and continued to hum along to the song on the radio. His anger at Kate's selfishness and total lack of desire to stay with the children this morning had dissipated at some point around lunchtime and he had bought her a bouquet of flowers to apologise for the way he had spoken to her. After all less than two weeks ago she had been blissfully ignorant of the fact that she was their mother or that her life these last three years had been a great big conspiracy based on lies and keeping her in the dark. 

He decided to park the car later then cursed when he heard the sound of a toy crunching underneath the right front tyre. What the hell was it doing out here in the first place? He turned off the ignition as he got to the front of the house and bit his lip in consternation. He was getting a bad vibe; something about the still normalness of the house was making him nervous. Steeling himself, he grabbed the flowers, hopped out of the car and forced himself to walk calmly up the steps and open the front door. It was unlocked, which was not cause for alarm so why did he feel a prickle of dread? He cocked his head and listened out for any sounds. He could hear the television from the playroom, he strode through the parlor then suddenly uncaring of the irrationality of his sense of foreboding, he was practically running when he pushed the playroom door open. 

"Daddy!" 

Ali ran up to him, small arms stretched out for him to pick her up. She was wearing her blue-jean overalls and no t-shirt inside. Her hair which had still held the style from Viv's party was no longer in cornrows but a tangle of dark brown curls. He looked around the room surprised to see that she was all alone in here as Timon and Pumbaa created mayhem on the screen.

"Hey there Babylove! Why you in here all by your lonesome?" James asked as, dropping the flowers he picked her up and kissed her cheek.

Red-rimmed hazel eyes widened, bursting with varying emotions, tears sprang up from their depths and she started to cry, burying her face in her father's neck. James held her tighter, his heart beating triple time as he cradled her to him and walking out of the room with a frown headed for the kitchen. 

"Now, now Princess, don't cry. Daddy's here tell me what's wrong. An' where's Kate an' your brothers?" 

This only made her cry harder so he pushed the kitchen door open, drawing up short when the sight of congealed bright orange pasta splattered all over the kitchen greeted him. He felt a breeze coming from the kitchen door and skirting the mess walked to the back porch, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw the three boys running towards the house from the stables with Vincentina at their heels. 

"Papa! Papa!" They cried breathlessly.

Small feet clattered on the back porch steps and then there was a flurry of arms reaching out for a hug. He got down on one knee so he could embrace them all, their sister still clinging tightly to him. They all started to talk in a rush, and James could not keep track of everything but the sparkle of tears in Tristan and Drew's eyes as well as the words, "Kate", "slapped", "spanked" and "poisoned" he did catch.

"Alright, alright, one at a time! I can't make sense of what y'all are sayin' here. Where is Kate?" 

"In her room!" All four said at the same time.

"Okay, _Tristan_, what happened?" 

"Kate was really mean to us! She slapped Ali an' spanked Drew, then made 'em take a bath, she didn't even let Ali wash herself, took out her cornrows, then she tried to poison us!"

"Papa she's mean, don't make us stay with her again, please!" David pleaded.

"An' she burnt my eyes with soap, look!" Drew added, pulling one lower eyelid down to show the rawness caused by the soap.

"Okay, okay, can I ask you guys to stay out here an' play while I go talk to Kate?" 

"Yeah okay."

"Alright." 

"Fine." 

"Daddy I'm so glad you're back it's been so horrible today!" Ali added finally speaking.

James looked at the innocent face and felt pure rage flood through him as he noted that the left side was swollen slightly in comparison to the right. Squeezing her once, he set her down and got up boiling inside like molten lava. He kept his expression neutral for the sake of the children and strode back into the house to confront Kate.

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are hittin' _my_ kids?" His voice shook from barely contained wrath.

Kate stood up quickly from the bed where she had been sitting in anticipation of James' arrival. Wiping her sweating palms down the front of her jeans she avoided looking at him by staring at his Gucci loafers. A frown forming on her brow and her left hand curling into a fist, she bounced it off her thigh in irritation.

"Your kids." She said in a thoughtful whisper.

"Well?" James persisted, his voice rising.

"You said hitting _my_ kids, _not_ ours but _yours_." Kate observed bringing her eyes up to meet his, she did not flinch at the fury she saw there. 

She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her gaze, advancing so that they were standing less than a foot away from each other. James' frown deepened into a ferocious scowl.

"I ask you _why_ you _hit_ my kids an' you wanna argue _semantics_?"

"Humor me."

"Humorin' you is the fact that you're still breathin' right now." 

"Oh please get over yourself. I don't think a well-deserved spanking is-"

"I didn't ask for your opinion, I asked for facts."

"You want _facts_? I'll give you facts, _your _daughter and _your _first born decided to _sneak_ in here and use my _fifteen hundred dollar _bottle of _foundation _as a new form of entertainment which involved spilling it on the carpet and _all over _themselves. Then when I tried to _take_ the bottle away from _your_ daughter she _spilt_ the remainder on _my_ $500 dress. The _two _of them found this incredibly funny and _laughed_ at me in _my face_. So, I slapped_ her _and spanked _him_."

"You physically abused my children over _makeup_?"

"I didn't _abuse_ them, I _disciplined_ them. Something you obviously never do."

"I'll thank you not to presume you know the first thing 'bout bein' a parent."

"I don't _presume_ to know anything about being a parent but I know that my parents never let me get away with the stunt they pulled without a good walloping." 

"An' look at how well you turned out."

Green fire flashed and she drew a tremulous breath, fists curling.

"Ali's _face_ is _swollen_ from where you _smacked_ her an' both her an' Drew's _eyes_ are _bloodshot_ from the soap _you_ scrubbed into them." 

Kate's face went ash white and all the anger drained out of her.

"_All_ four of them are _scared_ shitless. I made a vow when I left that craphole Island that I would do _everythin'_ in my power to make sure my kids would never feel fear or unnecessary pain. An' in _nine hours_ you've managed to _completely_ undermine that."

Tears sprung up in her eyes and she reached out a hand to him but he stepped back from her.

"Oh God… I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't_ mean_-"

"You_ never_ mean to Kate, but you _always_ seem to hurt every single person that comes into your orbit. Their only little, just babies." James said harshly.

With that said he raked her with a scornful disgusted look and pivoting on his heel walked out of the room. She sat down heavily on the bed, too devastated to cry.

Downstairs, James picked up the discarded plates, when he got to the sink he gazed out the window at Tristan and the triplets who were all sitting on the porch swing half-heartedly playing with the dog. With a heavy heart he started to clean up the kitchen. By the time he was done the kids were sitting at the kitchen table watching him and Kate was loitering in the doorway staring at the clean floor tiles. James looked up and observed the children casting surreptitious glances at Kate then looking at each other. Sighing he wiped his hands on a dishcloth and turned around to face them.

"Kate sit down please." 

She did as she was told, taking the chair furthest from the kids.

James approached the table and leaned against the island, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Now, I know everyone's upset 'bout what happened today but no one is moreso than me. First off kids, Kate here has somethin' she wants to say an' I want y'all to hear her out." He said holding up a hand to stop them from protesting.

He looked at Kate who was looking at him for guidance; he inclined his head in her direction as a signal for her to go ahead. She straightened her shoulders and took a deep bracing breath, before she turned in her chair to look at them.

"I am so deeply and incredibly sorry for hitting you Drew, Ali and for scaring all four of you. I didn't mean to hurt you guys, I just lost control and let my emotions cloud my judgment… I hope all of you can forgive me."

There was silence as they fidgeted, studying her closely as if trying to measure her sincerity. James rolled his eyes at this; sometimes they could be so stubborn!

"Well kids? How 'bout it, she's apologized, whaddaya say?" 

There was some more fidgeting and the scrape of a chair.

"Andrew, David, Brianna an' Tristan Ford, whaddaya say?"

They threw a rebellious look at their father but with a sigh, Drew was the first to capitulate.

"It's okay Kate, alopogy accepted."

"Yeah, alopogy accepted." Murmured Ali and Tristan.

David remained silent and he crossed his arms and kicking his feet out in a swinging motion continued to stare at the table top, a scowl on his face.

"David Charles Christopher Ford don't make me come over there."

"I don't wanna accept her alopogy Papa an' you can't make me. I can say it but I won't mean it! She's not very nice an' she hates us!" David exclaimed.

Tears began to stream down Kate's face. The other children squirmed uncomfortably.

"You gonna make a lady cry 'cause your stubborn DC? I know I taught you better than that." James said softly.

"She made Ali cry." David rejoined.

"An' she said she was sorry. Don't you make Ali cry sometimes?"

"Yeah but that's different Papa, I love Ali."

"No son it isn't. Kate loves her too… she's just not very good at showin' it. She made a mistake but she loves you all an' deep down you know that."

Kate bit back a sob, nodding her head vigorously at James' words. Ali who was sitting closest to her, reached out and patted her arm.

"I'm not mad at her anymore DC, look she's cryin' 'cause she wants us to forgive her." Ali said to her brother.

He snuck a glance at Kate and his stubborn scowl dissipated. 

"Alopogy accepted."

Getting up from his chair he walked around the table and approached her, patting her other arm he looked at his father as if asking for help then turned back to rub her shoulder.

"It's okay don't cry Kate, I'm not mad anymore. I'm sorry for makin' you cry, please don't cry anymore!" He was now close to tears himself.

"Come on now Freckles, the boy's tryin' to console you." James prompted gently, trying to maintain his composure.

She responded by enveloping Ali and DC in a big hug, burying her head in their soft curls. The children responded to this by hugging her back, the other two boys feeling left out scrambled out of their chairs and shoved at DC trying to get in the hug too. Kate started to laugh through her tears, then scooted back to accommodate the other two, pulling them awkwardly onto her lap. Soon they were all laughing and the only dry-eyed person in the room was James who couldn't help the brilliant smile he had on his face. 

"I really am sorry guys, and I really do love you all. More than you'll ever know… I just got scared and then my fear made me mean."

"Well why didn't you just say you were scared?" Tristan demanded shaking his head at Kate like he thought she was the silliest person he had ever met.

"Yeah! Why didn't you just say so, we coulda helped!" Ali asked in the same tone of voice that Tristan had used.

Kate looked at all four faces tenderly, "Because I'm a great big Dummy." 

"Oh!" They gasped sympathetically.

James chuckled at this, his eyes meeting Kate's. She shrugged self-deprecatingly.

"Okay, now that's outta the way. Ali an' Drew why don't y'all tell us what exactly it was that you were doin' with Kate's foundation?" James asked in amused tone.

Ali sat on the kitchen table facing Kate, her eyes twinkling.

"We were tryin' to cover up Drew's freckles like Kate does hers." 

"Why?" James asked.

"'Cause Papa, we wanted to see what I'd look like without 'em." Drew explained to his father like he was simple.

James narrowed his gaze at the boy who was comfortably ensconced under Kate's left arm.

"An' how did you look without 'em Drew?" James asked drily.

"Like a pig mee!" DC supplied with a cheerful giggle.

James cocked an eyebrow and all four children and Kate nodded in confirmation. James shook his head wearily, still smiling.

"So all this hullabaloo over a pygmie?" 

"No! Two pig mees 'cause I got it all over myself too! An' we also spilt the stuff all over the dressin' table, stool, carpet an' Kate's dress!" Ali chirped.

"An' we threw the orange macaroni an' cheese on the floor!" Tristan added with a wide grin on his face.

"An' teased her for not knowin' how to cook!" Drew finished off.

James had ambled over to where they all sat and he had nodded at all this; his smile still in place. Now he picked DC up from the table top where he had moved to sit next to Ali and held him in arms. Nodding once more his smile disappeared and he fixed DC then the other three with a stern glare.

"All that misbehavin' an' not one apology to Kate for bein' such brats? What happened to promisin' me y'all were goin' to be Daddy's little angels?"

Their faces dropped, flushing to an appropriate shade of red in embarrassment.

"I'm very disappointed in all of you. In fact, I think Freckles here was too light on you seein' as DC an' Tristan didn't get a good whuppin' for the part they played in all this. You should be very ashamed of yourselves for terrorizin' her like that, I know I am." 

"Sorry Kate." They mumbled unanimously.

"Yeah Kate, we're really an' truly very sorry for bein' so bad to you." Tristan said, looking up at her from where he sat on her left knee.

"It's okay." She replied, looking at all of them.

"No it's not. So I'm takin' away your television priviledges for a week an' you're gonna help me with the shovellin' in the stables every day until I say otherwise." James said in a no-nonsense tone.

Nobody dared grumble but they traded alarmed expressions amongst themselves. James ruffled DC's hair and set him down on the floor. He picked up Ali and then took Drew and Tristan from their comfortable position on Kate's lap setting them down too.

"Go on upstairs an' get changed we can start with the shovellin' tonight 'fore Mel gets back with dinner." 

They ran out of the kitchen without saying a word but as soon as they were out of sight they began to grumble loudly at their punishment. 

Kate shook her head, impressed by the way he seemed so adept at handling them in any circumstance. James sat down in the chair opposite her and stretched his legs out, leaning his head back in fatigue. Nobody spoke the silence used as an opportunity to dissimilate the events of the day. A few minutes later there was a silent shuffle of four children bedecked in faded overalls, plaid shirts and gumboots. Kate sat up absolutely taken with the adorable picture they made, James directed them to go and wait for him outside while he changed his own clothes. He left the kitchen and when he returned he marched on outside a grim expression on his face as he ordered his troops to follow him to the stables. Feeling grimy Kate took this as her chance to go and take a shower and she disappeared upstairs.

When Mel returned with Viv, dinner in hand the whole family sat down to eat in subdued silence. Viv wisely read the warning on James' face and did not ask her great-grandchildren or Kate how their day together had gone. She also noted the red-rimmed eyes of Ali, Drew and Kate. As well as the slight swelling of her great-granddaughter's face. As soon as dinner was done, the exhausted kids were put to bed, receiving a wet-towelling as opposed to a bath. Viv still read to them and James, Kate and Mel were there to kiss them good-night as they had been for the past two nights. Afterwards Mel and Viv joined James downstairs in the kitchen where he was preparing their usual evening coffee while Kate dawdled in her room, getting into her nightclothes.

"How bad was it?" Viv asked James as she accepted her cup of coffee from him.

James handed Mel her cup and pulling a chair sat down, rubbing his thumb across his forehead. He stared at his mug on the table top and with a sigh looked at Viv.

"Ali an' Drew tried to cover up his freckles usin' her foundation; they also managed to cover up the dressin' table, stool, Ali, the carpet, Drew's clothes an' Kate's dress when she caught them in the act…. Then she smacked Ali, spanked Drew, tried to clean them up with a thorough scrubbin' hence the red eyes, made 'em Kraft Macaroni an' Cheese which they accused her of bein' poisoned before throwin' it all on the floor. When I got home everyone was doin' their own thing an' it was just…" 

He ran his thumb across his forehead again and looked at Mel whose hazel-green eyes were running through a gamut of emotions. The prevalent one was outrage.

"She _smacked_ Ali?" 

"Mel-"

"Don't Mel me Ford! She _smacked _Ali. We _all_ agreed that _if_ ever we were going to spank the kids it would be a spanking and _nothing more_. She smacked Ali _in the face_ and what, it doesn't matter?" 

"I never said it doesn't matter, but she was angry an' she doesn't have no experience-"

"_Nana_! I _knew_ this was a bad idea letting her stay alone with the babies, you _saw_ Ali's face!"

"Yes I did."

"So?" 

"So what?" Viv asked calmly.

"So, she turns up here after she got tired of being all Sex and the City with that Doctor guy, we welcome her with open arms and she can just go around smacking our kids? Am I the _only_ one who _remembers_ this chick was an _addict_ like two weeks ago?"

"Mel, that ain't fair-"

"Don't talk to me about fair Ford! She's bad news an' she shouldn't be here around the babies if she can't even get enough of a hold on her anger to curb the impulse to slap a _four year old_!" Mel said slamming her palms on the table and getting up angrily.

James and Viv looked at Kate who was standing in the doorway, her face white as snow. James closed his eyes in resignation and sighed. Mel turned around and spying Kate rolled her eyes and hands on hips was about to lay into her.

"_Melanie that's enough_." Viv warned.

The teen threw her hands up and stomped out of the room, leaving the three adults.

"She's right." Kate said matter-of-factly.

"Come in and sit down Girl, drink your coffee and stop talking nonsense." Viv ordered.

She did as she was told, taking Mel's recently vacated seat. After a few minutes she set her cup down and cradled it in her hands, having worked up the courage she brought her eyes up to meet Viv's.

"When I got here, there was no tension between you and the babies so I assume that Ford solved the problems that had arisen. I _do not_ condone slapping children when I believe that a spanking on the seat of the pants will do just the trick. I can see it in your eyes that if you could turn back time you would have done things differently and that satisfies me… Mel's young and she had an over-disciplinarian parent so I think you can understand her feelings a little better. I see also that it is time_ I_ went to bed, so on _that_ note-"

"Viv, _I am so unbelievably sorry_ about the way I behaved today, _I know_ that I failed-" Kate pleaded, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Hush now, what's done is done. Maya Angelou said, 'You did what you could then, but now that you know better, you'll do better.'" Viv interrupted, bending over to plant a kiss on her grandson's cheek then one on Kate's.

"Goodnight you two, I'll see you in the morning." 

"Night Viv." James said softly.

"Goodnight." Kate said trying to gather herself and keep up.

She drained her cup and set it on the table. Clasping her hands together she looked at James. He reached out and rubbed her hands, with one hand he gestured at the bouquet of flowers in the vase on the windowsill.

"Those were for you, but in all the excitement I forgot to give 'em to you." 

She swallowed convulsively. 

"Thank you, they're beautiful." 

"Freckles-"

"I _am_ sorry you know. Genuinely, truly _unbelievably_ sorry."

"I know."

"But you're still mad at me."

"Freckles I'm-"

"It wasn't a question; it was a statement of fact. And it's okay, because I'm mad at me too."

"Mel-"

"You don't need to apologise for her, she's entitled to her opinion."

"I wasn't gonna, I was just gonna say that she's very protective an' is so mature for her age but she's still a teen."

"She's eighteen Tex, I wouldn't… it doesn't matter anyway. That's not what I want to talk to you about."

"Then what do you want to talk to me 'bout."

"Sayid."

"What's that now?"

"I'm going to find Sayid."

"Okay…"

"Tomorrow. I've put it off long enough-"

"Hang on a sec what-"

"_My kids_. That's what you said earlier." She fixed him with a piercing stare.

He let go of her hands as he was now gripping them too tightly.

"And you were right. I don't have a claim on them and there are people who should be held accountable for that. The last three, no wait, five days have been… well I don't think there's a word for it, but it's not real. I need to _get real_ and remember _why_ I came back here in the first place. So I'll ask you again James, _will_ you come with me, to find Sayid and get to the bottom of all this?" Her gaze was steely and unwavering.

James felt like she'd just pulled a lever and a trap-door had opened up beneath his feet. 

"An' what happens when you find Sayid?"

"I go after Ben and Them."

"Who's _Them_ Sweetcheeks?"

"The Dharma Initiative or whoever they work for or really are."

"You really think you can take 'em all on an' win?"

"I don't know but I have to try. _Someone_ has to pay for what they did to me… what they stole from me."

"Change the song Freckles!"

"Excuse me?"

"It's _all_ about you. It's _always_ about you. That way you can keep on runnin', never _grow up _an'never accept responsibility for the consequences of your actions."

"What-"

"There'll always be _somethin'_ someone has _done _to you that you gotta avenge. You can't just leave well enough alone. Can't just _stay put _an' plant some roots, build somethin'."

"You have _no_ right to make those kinds of comments about me, you don't even _know me_!"

"No I guess I don't, but I know enough. An' I ain't goin' with you, I got a family to protect, you're on your own."

"You care about me."

"An'?"

"Viv said I am a part of this family."

"What's your point?"

"So why won't you protect _me_?" She hated the pleading tone in her voice.

"'Cause you're selfish an' you work better alone… well unless it comes to kids. But to answer your question, you've made it clear countless times that you don't need me or see me for the man I really am. You're still content to spread your legs for me but to actually have a lil' faith in me or trust me to make the right decision…"

"You're a pig."

"Case in point." James said with false cheer.

Kate looked at him in disgust. Pushing herself up she collected the mugs off the table and walked up to the sink, washing them briskly. James remained sitting at the table and curled his left hand into a fist. How many times was it now? How many times did Kate do this? Pick and run the minute something did not go her way? He would be damned if he was going to let her emotionally blackmail him into joining her on this suicide mission. Which is exactly what it was, there was no doubt about that. 

"You say I'm selfish but everytime I ask you for this one favor you tell me I am on my own. Well, I'm going to bed like I go through life; _alone_. If you come into my room you'll regret it."

"Don't worry 'bout that, suffice it to say the thrill is gone." James retorted.

He rose from his seat and faced her, the walls back up on both sides. She nodded curtly, and practically ran out of the kitchen. When James heard her door shut loudly in the quiet house he swore volubly, turning off the light he went to turn on the alarm system before trudging up to his own bed. When he walked past her door he didn't even bother to look at it.

**The Next Morning**

"She's gone." Tristan said flatly.

"Yeah Papa she's gone!" Drew said morosely.

"What did you say to her?" Ali demanded, narrowing her eyes at him from where she was perched on his chest.

"I didn't say anythin' to her!" James protested.

All four children were in his bed as part of their weekend morning ritual when they all dashed into his bed and snuggled up to him. Except it wasn't a weekend it was a Thursday and James had overslept. James had Tristan and Drew tucked in underneath his left arm and DC was propped up on a pillow underneath his right arm. So far he had not spoken, but the sad look in his eyes said volumes.

"She came in our room an' woke us up to tell us she was goin' away. Said she didn't wanna leave without sayin' goodbye since she'd promised she wouldn't do that ever again… is it 'cause of us misbehavin' yesterday?" Tristan asked his green eyes large with anxiety.

"No Tristan of course not, Kate was always just stoppin' by it ain't nothin' you did." James reassured him.

"Then why did she leave _after_ we misbehaved an' not before?" DC demanded.

"Coincidence son."

"What's that?" Ali asked, grabbing her father's face to get his attention.

"Not your fault." James said with a grin.

She looked back at him solemnly.

"I want her to come back."

"Yeah me too."

"Me too!" 

"Me 'specially!" Tristan exclaimed.

"No_ me_ 'specially!" Drew countered.

Tristan pushed him, Drew pushed back and soon DC and Ali were involved, pushing and taunting each other in competition of who wanted Kate to come back the most. James prayed for patience and ordered them out of his bed; after all they had horse manure to shovel. That silenced them and they walked out single file, but not before Ali hissed at Tristan that it was all his fault their father was mad at them. He responded by pinching her arm. James sunk back into the pillows, his heart clenched in a block of ice at the thought of Kate out there alone. 

All morning, no matter what arguments he made in his head he couldn't get over the feeling of dread he felt about the whole thing. When he burnt the cornbread muffins he was making Tristan looked at him knowingly.

"I miss Kate an' so do you Papa."

James stopped scraping the burnt mass into the trash can and putting the muffin tray down approached his youngest child. Picking the boy up he set him down on the counter. Ali, Drew and DC shuffled in from the pantry where they had been fighting over who got to carry the bag of cornflour to their father.

"Yeah Papa, we miss her too." Drew said speaking for his siblings. James picked each of them up and set them on the counter too.

"So what do you want me to do 'bout that? It was her choice to leave an' we can't keep her here against her will." James rationalized.

"Why not?" Tristan demanded.

"'Cause Tree it's against the law to do that."

"I don't care, I miss her an' I want her to come back. She's the only person I know with freckles." Drew said petulantly.

"She is not the only person son." 

"Fine, then the only person I _like_."

"Yeah an' she almost won us the Twister Trophy." Ali added, tugging on James' hair.

"Wherever she's gone it's dangerous, Babylove."

"Shivallery is dead!" Ali exclaimed with a sad shake of her head.

"She could get hurt an' if_ you're_ not there an' _we're_ not there who's gonna look after her? She can't even cook when she's not hurt!" DC pressed anxiously.

"Yeah Papa!" 

"Okay, okay, _fine_. An' _how_ exactly am I supposed to _find_ her?"

This question was met with a momentary stunned silence and the children traded glances.

"_You're_ the grown-up_ you_ figure it out!" DC shrugged.

"But you _have_ to go get our Freckles _back_ Papa." Tristan cajoled.

"Yeah Papa an' we _promise_ we'll be good next time." Drew piped up.

"_Please_ Papa, go get our Freckles back,_ please_!" All four of them said at the same time.

"_Alright_! Now stop lookin' so damn pitiful 'cause I know you ain't."

"Yay! He's goin' to get Kate!" Ali and Tristan cheered.

"It's not like y'all gave me a choice… where's Viv? I guess I better ask her if its okay to leave y'all with her an' Mel until I get back." James grumbled good-naturedly. 

Viv sitting out on the kitchen porch smiled to herself as she eavesdropped, the babies were doing exactly what she had told them to, ambush James and deny him the chance to talk his heart out of going after Kate. Studying the address she had on the slip of paper in her hand she would be more than happy to point her grandson in the right direction.

\/p> 


	20. Chapter 19 Back to Basics

_Dahlings! Thank you for the reviews, they are little nuggets of gold that I am adding to my cache and they make me very happy. So once again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and depths of my very broke, job-less and troubled soul. This chapter should be good ole Sawyer/Kate banter and stuff as well as advance the plot some more. _

_I only have one main concern, does it seem like I have forgotten about some of the issues that plagued our characters before Viv's birthday party? It is not my intention but I just haven't felt like it was necessary to address them until now. They will be addressed some more in this chapter. I guess I just wanted to show that they can get along without even bickering (although I personally love it). I don't know, do you think I may have dropped the ball on plot there? I mean there is the issue of her choosing the mind-wipe and a life with Jack also, the issues of Cassidy, Kate's role in the children's lives, when they are going to tell them that she's their mother…ugh! There's so much stuff to try and keep together in this fic but bear with me we will deal with it all._

_Also, I don't want you to worry about me going crazy with the role playing detective stuff, I will try to keep it as realistic as possible. I'm really just planning on using the physical wearing of masks as a way of unveiling some more of their thoughts and feelings towards each other. Hmmm… have I rambled too much!? Yes!_

_Anyhoo, the next three or four chapters including this one will be our third act in the ACNJ saga. The end of the third act being the scene in A Clean Slate of course. After that I have two ways the story can go… it can be long or it can be short. _

**Chapter 19 – Back To Basics**

James pulled the rental car into the parking lot and switched off the ignition with trepidation. He clenched and unclenched his left fist three times, preparing himself to potentially face resentment and contempt when he got inside the apartment complex. Taking a swig from the bottle of water in the cup holder he capped the bottle and pulling the keys out pushed the car door open. Stepping out, he ran a finger underneath the rims of his sunglasses; beads of sweat had already formed in response to the oppressive sickly tropical Florida heat. It was already dark outside but James opted for the anonymity afforded by the shades regardless of what unwanted attention it might draw to him.

Walking up to the front door he was about to press the buzzer when a young mixed race couple pushed it open, they did not even notice him as they argued loudly about who was supposed to have cooked dinner. Gratefully, James stepped into the small hallway and scanning the mailboxes, took the stairs up to the second floor where Sayid supposedly lived. He frowned in consternation when he noted that the door into the apartment was ajar. It never was a good sign, and he reached into his jacket pocket to feel the comforting cold hard steel of his Colt .45 pistol. Reassured he pushed the door open and stepped into the pitch black apartment boldly. Walking down the small space that was the passage he entered a large room he assumed was the living room, fumbling against the wall with his gloved hand he flicked the switch. He drew a sharp breath at the scene that lay in front of him. All the furniture was upturned, the television, stereo, papers, bills and flyers were scattered haphazardly around the room. A breeze wafted in through the wide open windows, half-heartedly lifting the papers in the air before dropping them again. A solitary female figure sat hunched against the far wall; Kate was dressed in blue jeans, a black tank top and she was barefoot staring blankly at the mess. She blinked at the brightness of the light in contrast to the darkness and then turned to look up at James.

"Turn off the light."

He did as he was told and then approached her cautiously skirting the debris as best as he could. Back sliding down the wall, he sat next to her, sprawling his legs out. He pulled his sunglasses off, slipping them into the front pocket of his leather jacket.

"It was already like this when I got here. There's no sign of Sayid but there's blood and broken glass in his bathroom, a lot of blood… and no Sayid." Kate spoke despondently.

"We need to get outta here 'fore the cops get here." James said gently.

"I know."

She made no move to get up. Shaking her head softly, silent tears slid down her cheeks and she bit her lip. James reached round without looking at her and put his arms around her to let her cry on his shoulder. Ironically their position mimicked a similar one back on the Island, in the hatch, after Michael had shot Libby and Ana Lucia. His heart thudded painfully in his chest as he also drew similarities between the atmosphere then and now. There was the constant state of not knowing what was going on and the never far away sensation of being watched and hunted by a powerful unknown enemy. A pervasive chill permeated the air as the hairs on the back of his neck rose in anxiety. He hated this feeling. A few minutes later it became absolutely unbearable.

"Come on Freckles, we gotta go _now_!" James hissed at her.

She nodded in his arms, pulling herself up and away from him, she stood up quickly. Taking his hand she navigated them around the room and led him to the kitchen where her Timberland boots and weeklong backpack waited. Slipping her socks on she put on the boots while James hefted the backpack up onto one shoulder. She indicated for James to lead the way out. He gladly obliged, pausing to peer out the peephole first before ushering them out of the apartment, down the stairs and out of the building. He shoved her into the rental car, throwing open the back door he dumped the backpack on the seat and then slamming both doors, ran around to the driver's side, wrenching the door open he slid in hurriedly shutting the door. Turning on the ignition, he barely managed to restrain himself from tearing out of the lot. When the apartment complex was a good ten minutes behind them, James finally relaxed enough to sneak a look at Kate. She still had the blank expression she'd worn at Sayid's apartment and she was huddled forward in an unconscious protective gesture. He reached out and took her hand without thinking about it. Squeezing gently, he turned his attention back to the road, a scowl darkening his features.

Twenty minutes later, Kate stared at her reflection in the misted mirror. Wiping away the steam from her shower with the palm of her hand she sighed. Opening the bathroom door she stepped into bedroom and sat down on a corner of the large bed. James lay sprawled on the main part of the mattress as he channel surfed, a cold bottle of Miller Genuine Draft in his right hand. She turned to face him, a serious expression on her face.

"Thought I'd let you do the honors of selectin' what shitty movie to watch… Somethin' tells me you wouldn't be up for porn." He raised a half-hopeful eyebrow.

"No, I am not up for pornography. Thank you." Kate accepted the remote from him primly.

"Spoilsport."

"Pervert."

"I prefer imaginative artist in the sheets."

"You would."

"So do you."

Kate rolled her eyes; tightening the sash of her bathrobe she gave him a baleful glare. James took a deep swallow from the beer bottle before setting on the side table. Getting up he tugged his grey-blue t-shirt off and threw it at Kate's head. She shrieked, by the time she had pulled it off her face, he was shutting the door, his jeans and boxers resting in a forgotten pile in front of the bathroom door. She bit her lip in irritation, picking up the offensive articles and together with the damp t-shirt she threw all three items in one of the only two chairs in the room. She crawled onto the center of the mattress and settled on an infomercial channel. Picking up James' beer she downed the remaining contents and threw the bottle in the trash can. Reuniting it with the rest of its fellow bottles it was the last of the six-pack James had bought. Kate brought her knees up to her chest and clasped her arms around them. She rested her chin on her knees and stared blankly at the television screen she was not very sure but it definitely felt like despair had come knocking on her door once again.

When James stepped out of the shower, all he had wrapped around his waist was a towel approaching the bed; he pulled down the covers and slid in. The action startled Kate and she cast her bewildered green eyes in his direction. He grinned at her. She frowned suspiciously.

"What are you doing?"

"Tryin' to get some shuteye."

"No… what are you doing_ here_ in Florida?"

"I'm not sure I like your tone Freckles."

"Well, I _am_ sure I don't like you showing up here like the world's biggest coincidence when just last night you told me nothing could make you come with me."

James glowered at her as he sat up in the bed.

"Now hold on a sec-"

"Do you have something to do with Sayid's disappearance? Is that what you're doing here? _How _did you know _where_ to find me or him for that matter?" Kate demanded suspiciously.

She brought her face right up into James' intently searching his dark sapphire eyes for the truth. Her voice came out in a shaky whisper.

"Are you working with Them?"

If looks could kill he would have incinerated her on the spot.

"No." The word came out in a strangled growl.

"Then _how did you know where to find me_?"

"I've known where Sayid lives all along."

"How?"

"'Cause we've kept in touch… sort of… he sends me a post-card through work whenever he changes addresses."

Green eyes widened, "Okay fine, let's pretend I buy that. It still doesn't explain everything."

"Everythin' like what?"

"Like _why_ are you here? And what is that gun in your jacket pocket for?"

"I came here to get you under Kommandant Vivienne's orders… I am to get you to come back home with me. As for the gun, in case you haven't noticed where Dharma goes death and violence is sure to follow."

Kate's shoulders slumped; all the fight gone out of her and she drew away from him, leaning against the headboard, she shook her head miserably.

"Sayid's gone… he's probably dead and now I've got nothing to go on. I'm officially a woman with no recent past or future to speak of. And to top it off, I'm chasing after monsters with a butterfly net."

"Freckles… I'm not workin' with Ben or Dharma or the Others or Whatever, you gotta get that through your head."

She turned watery eyes on him, blinking back her tears she brought her hand up to touch his face and ran her thumb across his cheek and jaw. Relishing the feel of the soft bristles of his facial hair, she let her hand drop limply onto her lap.

"It doesn't matter now… Nothing matters."

"That ain't true." His tone reflected the hurt at her rejection of his reassurance.

"Well_ I_ want it to be! I can't _do_ this anymore not without Sayid; I _don't _even know _where_ to start now!"

"You can start at the beginnin'… _We_ can start at the beginnin'!"

"We!?"

"Yeah, _we_. Ya think Viv will let me within five miles of the plantation house if I go back without you?"

"Fine… whatever. But there is no beginning I don't remember much of anything… remember?"

"I'm _not_ talkin' 'bout _that_. I'm talkin' 'bout Sayid! We can start by goin' _back _to his apartment an' seein' what we can find. There's gotta be somethin' there that we can use to help us find out what happened to him."

"And _how_ are we supposed to do that?"

"I don't know… I guess we could always pretend to be cops."

"_That's_ your great idea? _Impersonate police officers_!? We'll be thrown in jail faster than you can say I love Texas!"

"Well, you got a better idea!?"

"No…" Kate laughed despite herself.

She could not believe that she was actually entertaining James' crazy suggestion. He gave her a winsome smile as he sank back down in the bed. Pulling the covers up to his neck he turned over facing away from her. She poked him in the shoulder sharply.

"What are you doing?"

"Goin' to sleep, what's it look like?"

"But we're not done talking!"

"I suggested goin' over the crime scene in the only kinda get up I can imagine that won't get us noticed by the wrong people an' you nixed it. You ain't got nothin' better so I'm goin' to bed, I'm beat." His words were muffled by the sheets.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that."

She let out a loud sigh.

"I suggest you do the same, seein' as we're gonna need to get our hands on some uniforms tomorrow a.m. an' fast. Don't know 'bout you but my knowledge of Tampa ain't as good as it could be."

"You're serious about this impersonation thing aren't you?"

"Damn serious… the faster we can get this show on the road the faster I can get back to my kids an' my life."

"Okay, okay, I get it."

The wheels in Kate's head started to turn furiously and if James had turned around he would have seen a sparkle in her eyes that had been missing since he had found her in Sayid's apartment. She was torn between the relief and the anxiety she felt that he was here with her. Relief because his sheer presence made her feel much better about the whole mission while on the other hand she could not shake the feeling that James knew more than he was saying and that meant he was manipulating her somehow. She chewed on her thumbnail, undecided as to what the best course of action was. Then again, Vivienne was quite a formidable woman so perhaps he merely was here to satisfy the old battleaxe that he had done his best to get her to come back home. She frowned as she realised that she already thought of the plantation house outside Marshall Texas as home. Was she setting herself up for more pain and heartbreak? She could not afford to have these emotional attachments clouding her judgment.

Glancing at the sizable lump James' tall muscled form made in the bed she mentally chided herself for being so weak. The truth was she could not quash that part of her that was a woman and wanted to be loved, cared about and protected by a man, and more specifically, James. She was going to have to fight to ignore those pangs of yearning that had grown stronger since Vivienne's birthday party. It was the only way to survive this whole ordeal in some semblance of one piece she knew that.

One thing she had going in her favor was that a big part of her refused to care that it had taken Vivienne's interference to get him to join her. Nor did she care that he had a hidden agenda, the truth was she needed him on some basic level. For better or worse, and as long as she stayed on her guard, she could use him just as much as he was using her. He gave her strength and that was what she needed now more than anything. Today had proven that when she had all but fallen apart when she found out that Sayid was gone. Therefore, in the grand scheme of things it did not matter that James' motives were not the most honourable or that she was in dangerous emotional territory as long as their partnering up yielded results. She would play him at his own game, pretend to believe whatever half-truths and falsehoods he came out with, after all she herself was cunning and was well-trained in the art of deception. She drew in a shaky hopeful breath as she stared at her hands. Her blood was practically humming with anticipation, this was her playground and she would beat them all at their own game she vowed to herself. She repeated this in her head a few times like a mantra, loving the idea more and more by the second.

A few minutes later she pulled the covers back and got into bed too, scooting as far away from James as she could she turned off the bedside lamp.

"Goodnight James."

He grunted in response, already half-asleep and Kate with a pleased smile on her face burrowed into the mattress. The first round had gone to her enemies but she would win the war. She would show James, Dharma, Ben, Jack and Juliet. She would show them all just exactly what she was made of. She closed her eyes happily, anxious for the sun to rise again so the games could well and truly begin.

**The Next Morning**

The crowd parted for the two police officers that purposefully strode into the apartment complex. The male officer was tall and obviously well-built while the female officer although shorter was equally well-built, almost to the extent of making her too muscular for a woman. She pushed her navy blue cap back further as she climbed up the steps, tapping her baton against her thick right thigh in impatience as a few people loitering on the steps took too long to clear the way. The male officer opened the door, holding it back casually to let her go through first before letting it slide shut behind him. They took the stairs up to the second floor and walked up to the open apartment door where a number of cops were milling around. The detective was standing in the bedroom discussing a clue of some kind with another detective. When the two new additions walked in the detective looked up causing the female officer to stiffen but he just raised his pen in her direction before going back to whatever he had been saying.

Kate let out a shaky breath of relief then nearly jumped out of her skin when a black male officer grabbed her shoulder.

"Where you guys been!? We're just about done here but someone needs to stay behind and clean up I was worried it was gonna have to be me and Joe over there!"

"Well you can untwist your panties man, we're here aren't we?" James replied good-naturedly.

He pushed his cap back with a flip of his thumb, revealing dark brown hair and a band-aid across his nose. He glanced at the officer's name tag it read, Johnson. Officer Johnson raised his eyebrows at the band-aid and letting go of Kate's shoulder shrugged with a dry grin.

"I can see why _you_ got assigned to this shitty detail; Commissioner doesn't want your ass making us look bad in the press coverage. But what about you Derriyear?"

Kate pulled her cap off completely revealing greasy dirt blonde hair pulled back in a severe bun and a bluish purple right eye. She grinned wickedly showing off her gold tooth.

"He's my partner, can't let him have all the fun now can I?"

Johnson chuckled and with a head shake left them there, calling his partner Joe as he headed for the door.

James and Kate exchanged a serious look and then set off to try and find out what Tampa's law enforcement had on Sayid's disappearance.

James approached a beefy olive-skinned cop his name tag read Vitelli, "So what we got here?"

"Suspicious disappearance, possible kidnapping and/or murder of a rag-head yesterday afternoon."

James got out his pad and looked at his notes with a frown.

"Afternoon, I thought it was later than that?"

"Nah, forensics says it was afternoon, round lunchtime. Anyways, it wouldn't have been a big deal except rag-head was on the Witness Protection programme an' he survived that big plane crash from Oz some years back."

"No shit." James said genuinely surprised about Sayid being under Witness Protection.

"Yeah so looks like IA and also the Feds will be breathin' down our necks due to the leak aspect of this whole mess."

"Fucking IA."

"Yeah no kidding, sons of bitches don't do any real police work but they get better pay and benefits."

"So what we got to go on?"

"From what I've heard fuck all. There was a fight of some kind looks like he surprised the person who went through his shit like Hurricane Andrew and he may have run away, may have been abducted. We've interviewed everyone in the building and gone over everything but as you know it rained pretty bad in the early hours of the morning and since windows were wide open soaked the carpet and hallway so half the evidence was gone."

"So how the hell did we find out Rag-head was missing?"

"The blood in the bathroom seeped through a crack in the floor onto old lady downstairs' kitchen table. Prelim lab results say it's his and two other peoples'."

"Damn."

"Yeah well I'm outta here. Feds have already been and gone, they were pretty mad. You and your partner are stuck here for another half hour just guarding the place until we can get confirmation from the lab that they've got all they can."

"Yeah, lucky us."

Vitelli shrugged philosophically and made to leave the apartment. James looked over at Kate who was talking to a witness out in the hallway. Within a few minutes all the officers and the detectives had left. The older detective instructed James and Kate to go over everything one last time although he had little hope they would find anything else.

James reassured the detective he would while Kate pulled her cap off completely and setting it on the floor outside the apartment accepted the latex gloves James handed her. The detective gave her a cursory once-over before leaving. Kate slid the gloves on a grim expression on her face. James snapped his gloves on and wriggled his eyebrows at Kate before reaching across her to slam the front door shut.

"Officer Sweet Ass, I'm going in." James said in the metropolitan accent he had been using all morning.

"After you Officer Gay Lord." Kate said cheerfully.

They grinned at each other and proceeded to go over the apartment looking for anything that would help them find out what had happened to Sayid.

It was in the bedroom under the rug that James pulled out a postcard that was taped to the underside of the rug. He put it in an evidence bag and getting up he went to find Kate who was going through the kitchen cupboards meticulously.

"I already looked there didn't find a thing."

James said before he crossed his arms and admired the way the police uniform's fabric sculpted her rear-end. Kate glanced at him over her shoulder and pulled out a box of semolina flour. Pulling out the sachet she peered into the box and then palming the sachet decided to root around in the flour itself. A few seconds later she had her forefinger around a keychain which she yanked out and waved at James. He raised his eyebrows impressed. She dropped it into an evidence bag wordlessly and as they walked out of the kitchen they traded clues. The postcard was of the Miami Sands Hotel, it had a few words scribbled on the back in Arabic. The keychain was plain metal it was in the shape of a flamingo. They traded puzzled expressions.

"There has to be more somewhere." Kate observed. She looked around the living room and made to walk in there but James drew her back.

"I've already looked in there and our relief will be here in five minutes we gotta get out here."

"Did you look in there as thoroughly as you looked in the kitchen or were you checking me out then too?" Kate asked snootily.

James let go of her arm, "You're no fun."

Kate gave him a smug look and strode into the living room then stopped, swivelling around she half ran into the bathroom and fingered the floor-board which had leaked Sayid' blood into the apartment downstairs. Prying the board loose she studied the underside and was rewarded when she found a key of some kind taped to it. James who had crouched down next to her let out an impressed gust of air.

"Well I'll be damned."

The key had several numbers filed on it and Kate slipped it into the same evidence bag that held the postcard. They shared an excited look as they got to their feet.

The front door burst open and a male voice muttered something. Kate froze in fear while James raised his forefinger to his lips then gesticulated they stay where they were quietly. He stuffed his evidence bag into his pocket and she did the same nodding that she understood. They waited with bated breaths as they heard footsteps walk into the living room and James propelled Kate out of the bathroom signalling for her to head for the front door. She did as she was told, and he was right behind her when she stopped suddenly forcing him to reach out and grab her shoulders in order to steady them both. They were staring at a surly looking police officer who was blocking their exit. The seconds stretched out for what felt like an eternity.

"Joe!" Kate said breathlessly.

"We were wondering what had kept our relief, but how did you two get assigned to this detail again!?" James added, relaxing his shoulders and forcing himself to step away from Kate.

"Seems like you were trying to sneak out of here." Joe said looking at them suspiciously.

He studied their badges and reached for his walkie talkie.

"Yeah well didn't see you volunteering to stay and look for non-existent clues. So excuse us if we were trying to get out of here and get to some real police work." James said sarcastically.

Joe pulled out his walkie talkie.

"I don't remember ever seeing either one of you at the precinct Officer's Lord and Derriyear. I think I'm gonna call in your badge numbers to verify."

"Joe what the hell are you doing!? They're the relief unit from Precinct 12 that came in earlier so we could go, remember?"

James turned around hiding his relief when he saw it was Officer Johnson the man he had spoken to when they had first arrived on the scene. Joe frowned at this and looked torn between following his instincts which told him something was off and his partner's admonishment. Kate made his mind up for him when she raised a challenging eyebrow at him.

"I think he should call in our badge numbers, that way he can cause a small fracas over nothing when we've already got IA and the Fibbies sharpening their fangs to take a giant bite out of us." A devious grin twisted her lips as she silently dared him to call in their badge numbers.

He waved his hand at them and stepped aside.

"Go on, get outta here! Sorry 'bout that this whole IA thing's got us all on edge." Joe said with a shrug.

"Whatever you say Joey." Kate scoffed, her tone telling him she did not buy his lame attempt at smoothing the waters before she strode past him, picking up her cap from outside the doorway.

"It's Joe bitch."

"Okay Joe Bitch!"

James followed her accepting his cap from her he gave Officer Johnson a pained look, "You got yours and I got mine. Think they'd let us trade?"

Officer Johnson grinned at this and waved James away with a shake of his head. Joe slammed the door shut. James followed Kate who was already running down the stairs. When they walked out of the complex they bumped into a tall thin girl with multiple facial piercings, a ripped white t-shirt, practically non-existent torn faded blue jean shorts and a shock of pink hair. Her mascara was completely ruined as she had obviously been crying.

"Excuse me Officers, I just got here, what happened to Say- I mean Abdul!?"

"What did you just say?" James demanded squinting at her.

"I said I wanted to know what happened to Abdul Hawadi, the guy who lives in apartment 2D."

"No you didn't… You nearly called him something else, how did you know that he had another name?" James reiterated in the same tone.

The girl looked at Kate who was wearing a fierce expression and she looked back at James. Grabbing his arm she started to cry again.

"I didn't! I'm just upset… please just tell me what's happened to him!?"

Kate grabbed the girl's upper arm and dragged her along, "I think you should come with us."

The teen tried to dig her heels in, resisting as she was inexorably pulled forward towards the waiting squad car.

"No please, I haven't done anything wrong! I just wanna know what happened to my friend!"

Kate veered away from the squad car and slammed the girl into the wall at the mouth of a nearby alley.

"If you wanna know what happened to your friend and you don't want to talk about it at the station where I'm sure we'll find that you have violated some laws of this good State of Florida and I'll lay down money that it's not just Florida… you better tell me everything you know!"

James reached over to pull Kate off the girl and she shrugged him off, tightening her grip on the girl's bony shoulders.

"What's your name!?" Kate demanded.

"Ashley! Please don't arrest me! I'll talk okay!" The girl wailed.

"Officer Derriyear! That's enough!" James yelled at Kate, hauling her off the scared teen.

Ashley slid down the wall sobbing loudly. James and Kate chests heaving glared at each other for a few moments before they turned back to the teen. James approached her, helping her up he patted her back awkwardly in a bid to comfort her. The girl stopped sobbing and drew a shuddering breath before she pulled herself away from him.

"Talk." Kate commanded impatiently.

James flashed her a warning look and she ignored him completely.

"Abdul is a friend of mine. My only real friend, he gives me a place to sleep and food to eat when my pimp Ronnie beats me up or kicks me out."

"Oh please, I'm supposed to believe that?" Kate asked incredulously.

"I don't care what you believe it's the truth."

"Okay, okay, so Abdul helps you out of the goodness of his heart just because he can or do you pay him back some other way?

"No! Never! He would never let me offer him that! Not drugs and absolutely no sex… He's a great guy and totally like my guardian angel!"

"Sounds like he was a real champion."

"Was… you said was. Does that mean he's dead?" Ashley asked with a trembling chin.

Kate rolled her eyes, "We don't know if he's dead or not there was no body and no witnesses. So do you wanna get on with it and tell us how you know his other name?"

"Because he told me, duh!"

"This is getting better and better… he just told you that he had another name?"

"Yes, I can see why a butch lesbo like you might find it hard to believe but some guys are just nice because they can be." Ashley shot back at her.

Kate lunged for the teen grabbing her upper arm she slammed her against the wall hard.

"You're wasting my time and trying my patience. Now talk."

"Ow! He told me a lot of other things."

"Like?"

"Like how he was under the Witness Protection Programme for what he did in Iraq and also for what he remembered from the time he spent on some weird Science lab type Island when Oceanic plane 815 crashed in the Pacific six years ago."

"Why would he have told you all that?"

"I don't think I'm going to answer any more questions until you treat me better and I get something to eat." Ashley said with false bravado her eyes beseeching James.

"Oh please, as if Ronnie the Pimp doesn't smack you around harder than that for breakfast." Kate sneered.

James nodded in agreement with Ashley's silent and verbal pleas and gestured for her to lead the way. Kate opened her mouth to protest and James just grabbed her arm, dragging her along with them.

"Do you mind!?" She hissed at him between gritted teeth.

"Yeah I do actually, what's with all the Rodney King?" James whispered back.

"We're impersonating police officers and that Joe guy is going to raise the alarm pretty soon. We don't have time to waste on playing nursemaid to a crack-whore." She retorted.

"She's right you really are a bitter lesbo."

Kate's right heel found James' left instep. He yelped in pain but did not lessen his grip on her arm. Harshly he dragged her forward making her lose her footing she let out a muffled curse. They stepped out of the alley into broad daylight blinking at the sudden change. Ashley turned to study them an amused grin on her face.

"_Officers_… the diner's two blocks down I think I should go in on my own and you two can follow so that we don't draw any unwanted attention. And I also think you two should stop roughhousing 'cause it goes against the whole low profile thing."

James instantly released Kate's arm and she jumped away from him like she had been burnt.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Lead the way!" Kate ordered the teen.

A small indifferent lift of a bony shoulder was the only response she got before Ashley did as she was told. James and Kate waited thirty seconds before following her into a shabby looking diner aptly named 'Slim Pickens' if the interior and limited menu stuck on the door were anything to go by.

They found a booth near the kitchen which suited their needs perfectly. It was in a badly lit part of the diner, gave them a vantage point view of the entrance as well as the public toilets which were just past their booth. James gestured for Kate to take a seat and the tense set of her shoulders told him she bristled at having to do anything he wanted her to. He scowled before sliding in next to her.

"I think I should do all the talkin' now Freckles."

"I don't and don't call me that you'll give us away." Kate muttered from the side of her mouth as she smiled up at the plump older woman who approached them with the menus.

James pinched her knee sharply, "Cops don't smile like that at a waitress unless they want somethin' more than food."

She twitched at the pain his fingers had caused and pulled off her cap, setting it on the table. James accepted the proffered menus from the waitress who was now eyeing them a trifle suspiciously.

"Coffee?"

"Yes please." James replied shortly.

The waitress' name-tag read Beatrice. Kate threw James a dirty look before accepting her menu with a tight smile on her lips.

"Thank you Beatrice. What's good here?"

"That would be the blueberry pancakes, apple pie and vanilla ice-cream, definitely don't touch the eggs, toast, bacon, ham or grits if you don't wanna spend the rest of the day in that disgusting crapper." Ashley said cheerfully as she slid into the booth.

"These are my guests Bee-bee, he'll have the pancakes, I'll have the pie with ice-cream and she can have the Egg Surprise 'cause she's not very nice."

Beatrice harrumphed and walked off to get the order. Ashley practically beamed at Kate as she clasped her hands on the table top. Kate noticed that the girl did not look so bad now that she had cleaned the ruined makeup off her face. She was no beauty by anyone's standards but she had very voluptuous lips and the close-set blue eyes had a nice shape to them.

"I thought you'd done a runner on us." James said.

"No I just went to-"

"Shoot up?" Kate suggested.

"No… wash my face 'cause Bee-bee doesn't like it when I eat in here looking a mess."

"Wow everyone's just full of warm fuzzy feelings for you aren't they?" Her voice dripped with scorn.

"Not exactly, it was just Abdul and Bee-bee."

'You can stop calling him Abdul we all know that wasn't his real name." Kate said sharply.

James placed a restraining hand on her thigh; he squeezed it hard for good measure. Ashley finger combed her stiff pink hair and gave her head a haughty toss.

"I think you take the whole bad cop thing a little too seriously."

"I have to agree with you there Ash." James nodded vigorously.

Kate gave him a freezing look before turning back to Ashley. Beatrice set three cups of coffee in front of them. She walked away and came back with pancakes for James, apple pie for Ashley and a plate that was swimming with egg yolk, grits, undercooked bacon and a morose looking lettuce leaf which she set down in front of Kate.

Ashley picked up her fork and gave the waitress a thumbs up sign before taking a stab at the pastry.

"Especially since you're not even real cops."

Kate choked on the coffee she had just taken a big gulp of. James stopped cutting into his pancakes and looked up at Ashley with a surprised look on his face.

"I think you're the Katherine chick and he's definitely James Lee Ford. Sayid told me to look for you guys if something happened to him."

James dropped his fork and thumped a coughing and gasping Kate on the back.

"How do you know we are who you think we are?" James asked.

"I saw her go in there alone then a few hours later you went in there and came out with her, then I saw you two go into Sayid's apartment this morning and watched as all the other cops walked out and you two stayed behind. Also I've got this."

Ashley pulled out a postcard that had two pictures stuck to it. On the right hand side it was a picture of Kate and Jack from the one year anniversary party Hurley had thrown and on the left side was a police mugshot of James. Kate grabbed the wrinkled and stained postcard and stared at it in shock. Ashley shrugged and poked at some of the apple slices in her pie, practically inhaling them with relish. She used her spoon and thumb to scoop up the rapidly melting ice cream and shovel it into her mouth. James picked up his fork and dug into his food; sharing a conspiratory wink with Ashley he ate the surprisingly delicious pancakes in record speed. Kate took one disgusted look at her food and pushed the plate as far away from herself as possible. Instead she studied the postcard and chewed on her thumb nail the wheels in her head working furiously. Ashley pushed away her plate and called out to Beatrice to bring her some pancakes before she pulled out a hand-rolled cigarette and a book of matches.

"Sayid told me to only approach you if you were with James, so when you walked into his apartment last night I didn't talk to you cause you were alone."

"Why would Sayid tell you something like that?"

"I figured he had his reasons not to trust you. I know I didn't when I saw you holding hands with this guy." Ashley stabbed a finger on Jack's face.

She lit her cigarette and blew the smoke in Kate's face. James choked down a chuckle and took a tentative sip of the unexpectedly good coffee.

"Anyways, I've got something I'm supposed to give to you but its back in Miami where I live most of the time."

"So what are you doin' all the way here? An' how'd you know to be here just after Sayid went missin'?

"Ah… James, after Sayid went out to meet you a few days ago… he picked me up in Miami and we drove back to Tampa together."

"WHAT!?" Kate gasped in outrage, crushing the postcard in her hand.

James closed his eyes softly and then turned to look at her, "Not now, okay? I'll explain later but now's not the time."

"Oh you can bet the farm you will explain everything to me." Kate said her voice quivering with rage.

Beatrice put down the plate of pancakes in front of Ashley. The teen smiled up at the waitress and stubbing out her cigarette in her melted ice cream, picked up her fork to eat.

"The only reason I wasn't with Sayid when he went up to his apartment is that I was buying some stuff off of this guy that I know and I took too long cause I was trying out the merch. Anyway, I got to the complex just as a blue van with tinted windows sped out of the parking lot. Didn't think anything of it 'til I went up to the apartment and saw what had happened."

"Do you know who could've taken him?" James asked, taking over from a silently seething Kate.

"Yeah, it was definitely those Dharma freaks he was always talking about." Ashley said through a mouthful of pancakes.

"How do you know?" He pressed.

"'Cause two weeks ago he found some facility somewhere here in Florida and he was pretty sure that in there lay all the answers to his questions." Ashley looked at James quizzically wondering why he was asking her about something she knew Sayid had told him about. Kate picking up on this shot ice green daggers at them both.

James pulled out the evidence bag from his back pocket and took the keychain out under the cover of the table. Sliding it across the tabletop he handed it over to Ashley.

"Does that look familiar?"

"I don't know what this is." Ashley said with an emphatic shake of her head.

Kate drew out the postcard and the key from her evidence bag and she laid the articles on the tabletop.

"What about these?" She asked in a civil tone.

Ashley leaned over to study the items.

"Well that's the key to his place in Miami, I don't know what the numbers are and Sayid told me that sometimes he stayed at the Miami Sands because there are some Dharma bosses or something that frequent that hotel."

"What'd he tell you about Dharma?" Kate asked.

"Just that they were these crazy scientists that made lab rats out of everyone when your plane crashed on the Island… And that they were doing stuff to people off the Island and that they had destroyed lives and needed to be stopped."

Kate rolled her eyes in exasperation, "She doesn't know anything that can help us."

"I don't know any specific details 'cause Sayid said it would get me killed… What I do know is that he was onto something big with the facility, something he said that would expose them and stop them once and for all."

"Something big like what?" Her tone was hostile again.

"How the hell am I supposed to know!? I just told you that he didn't tell me anything specific to protect me!"

"How do we know if you're telling us the truth? Maybe you work with Dharma?"

"Well you'll just have to take my word for it… Sayid's not here to vouch for me."

"How convenient."

"Why are you giving me the third degree here? Why don't you ask James here if he did or did not meet up with him the day before yesterday?"

"You know what Ash; she's got a point you haven't given us anythin' to prove you are who you say you are."

"Okay this is so lame, Sayid told me you would believe me James. It's her I would have trouble convincing!"

"What I'm havin' trouble believin' darlin' is that he would trust a drug addicted hooker like yourself wit' so much potentially damagin' info."

"Well, then you don't know him as well as you think you do. Look I don't care if you believe me or not, I gotta get back to Miami and that's where his main pad is so are you two going or not? I've got this package I gotta give you it's the size of a shoebox so I'm guessing there's lots more info in there and I know for a fact that you'll find some stuff at his house."

"Miami huh?" James asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah Miami." Ashley snapped back as she played with the ring in her upper lip.

"Well we aren't goin' to get anymore clues here what with the attention we've drawn to ourselves." James said to Kate.

She glared at him, her lips pursed tight and then relenting, nodded with a sigh.

"So if you two are going to Miami and I'm going to Miami do you think I could tag along?" Ashley asked unperturbed by the palpable tension between them.

"Yeah I guess so, doesn't look like Officer Sweet Ass here is gonna be much conversation on the way there." James quipped with a grin.

"Great! I can take you to Sayid's place for a small fee if you want." Ashley beamed.

"Sure." James beamed right back at her.

Kate looked like she was on the verge of a fit.

"I don't think so! You're getting a free ride back to your pimp that's payment enough! I don't even think we should be doing that! It's as if we're condoning her going back to an unhealthy environment where that parasite is going to pump her with more drugs and send her back on the streets."

Ashley gave her the finger, and James chortled to himself.

"I think that settles things, I'm gonna pay the bill, then we are gonna leave while Ash waits for us to pick her out back in about ten minutes." James said as he slid out of the booth and held out his hand to help Kate.

She ignored his hand, shoving the crumpled postcard Ashley had given them into her front pocket she scooted out of the booth on her own. He winked at Ashley who was lighting another hand rolled cigarette.

"Okay, great. Ten minutes and I'll come wait out back for you. Don't get yourselves spotted by the wrong people on the way to the car, I saw two guys in uniform enter that building that were not cops."

"What's that now?" James leaned toward her, his whole body tensing.

"Yeah, it was before you guys showed up… they were gone by the time you got there."

"Why didn't you mention this before?" Kate demanded hands on hips.

Ashley's face was smug.

"You were too busy slamming me against the wall and just being a big lesbo bully."

"I am not a lesbian!"

Ashley did not bat an eyelid.

"You coulda fooled me... you've probably repressed it and shit."

Kate made a threatening move towards her, fists curled.

"Okay that's enough, come on Freckles let's get outta here."

James came back from paying the bill and he had to tug on Kate's arm to stop her from attacking Ashley who was blowing rings of smoke at her. Shoving her cap on her head, she followed him out of the diner piercing Ashley with a fiery green glare. The teen shrugged obviously unfazed by the mutual animosity that flowed between them.

They walked back into the alley and then cut into another alley walking five blocks down to the junkyard where they had left the car. When they got in the car, Kate yanked off her cap and threw it on the floor, unzipped her pants, tugging them off as she kicked her boots off. She let out a sigh of relief as the foam and rubber padding sown into the uniform that had made her look more muscular than she was slid off her sweaty skin. She fanned her red thighs with her right hand as she accepted the grey cargo pants James handed her from the back seat. Unbuttoning her uniform top Kate stopped and gave James a look; he raised an eyebrow at her in response. She narrowed her eyes at him and shrugged the top off, letting James squirm as he took in the black lace Wonderbra before she pulled on a black tank top. Opening the glove compartment she took out a Wet-wipe and scrubbed at the makeup that constituted the bruise on her right eye.

"I'll take the wig off later. Shouldn't we get going?"

"Huh? Uh yeah, let's get this show on the road, can't keep Pink waitin'." James said over the frog in his throat.

He threw his cap in the back seat and started the engine and reversed the car.

"Don't think I've forgotten about the whole clandestine meeting with Sayid while you left me to play babysitter. You've got a lot of explaining to do Mister."

James clenched his jaw in chagrin as all lustful thoughts of Kate in her Wonderbra flew out the window.

"In fact maybe you would like to explain to me how you managed to organise and meet with the very guy I have been begging you to go and see _with_ me so I can get some help and some frigging closure on this whole no memory thing right under my nose. Is that what this last week was about?"

"No, it wasn't about that! You know what it was about."

"Do I? Last night you told me that Viv sent you to come and get me and that you weren't working for Dharma but today Ashley mentions how you and Sayid met up in Miami-"

"We didn't meet in Miami we met up in Texarkana."

"Thank you for that veritable banquet of information, all better!"

"What the hell do you want from me!? It's not like you've been Miss Honest an' Cooperative either. You don't trust me an' I don't trust you that's all there is to it an' for your information I was gonna tell you 'bout my meet with Sayid but you hightailed it 'fore I got the chance."

"I met with Sayid… Did you need to make an official ceremony out of four words?"

"Can we save it for later; I think I took a wrong turn."

"You think? You turned left over here instead of right."

"Then why didn't you say so?"

"I thought it might be part of some elaborate plan of yours I'm not privy to."

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Here we are, just gotta round this corner and we'll be at the back of the diner."

"Oh thank God, I can't think of anything that is going to make me happier than spending the rest of the day in this sardine can with you and Lil Miss Crackwhore Miami."

"Wow you must be on some next level PMS streak, I think I got some Midol in the glove compartment."

"Bite me."

"I would but you like it too much."

Kate punched his arm as hard as she could. James yelped as he nearly lost control of the car. He slammed on the brakes but before he could turn to scold her they heard six loud shots in quick succession, James threw himself on top of Kate to shelter her. A few seconds later there was a squeal of tires and they both raised their heads and peeked out of Kate's window, just in time to see a blue van with tinted windows speed away. James grabbed the steering wheel with white knuckled hands and drove towards the back of the alley. With sinking hearts they stopped the car when they saw Ashley's tall skinny form slumped against the diner's garbage cans. Her white t-shirt was soaked red with blood and there was a gaping hole in her forehead which left no doubt in their minds that the teen was dead. Kate bit back an anguished sob as James reversed the car and sped away.

"What are you doing!? We can't just leave her there!"

"Sorry Sweetheart but if we hang around we're likely to wind up just as dead. That was a professional hit an' the van was blue with tinted windows just like she described it. At least now we know she was tellin' the truth."

Kate bit her lip, green eyes sorrowful as she stared straight ahead, unable to get the image of Ashley's lifeless form out of her mind. She shivered uncontrollably as James wound through some side streets. On auto-pilot she pulled the evidence bag and the crumpled postcard out of her uniform pockets. James drove up to the city dump, only then did he stop the car. Jumping out, he emptied his pockets throwing the evidence bag onto her lap. Taking off his uniform, he ripped the band-aid off his nose then he reached in and took Kate's as well flinging them both into one of the massive garbage cans with all his might. Standing there in just his boxers, he opened the passenger door and reaching in hurriedly unfolded his blue jeans tugging them on and a green t-shirt. Kate remained seated and staring straight ahead still shivering. James slammed a hand on the roof of the car to get her attention and she started, green frightened eyes beseeching him.

"Come on now Sassafras, you gotta keep it together, we still gotta get back to our motel an' get our things, clean up the place."

"I was so horrible to her; I made her last day on Earth completely miserable."

"Don't do that… I expect you to be strong an' kickin' ass okay?"

She nodded dumbly. James slammed the passenger door and slid back into the driver's seat, shutting his door firmly. He gripped the steering wheel and looked over at Kate. She reached over and wrapped her left hand around his right upper arm. Leaning her forehead on it she rested her right hand on his thigh. James leaned over and kissed the top of her head softly.

"Oh my God James she was only a kid and she's dead because of us."

"Freckles…"

"I know, I know… I just had to say it."

She lifted her head up and looked into his equally pained blue eyes. Without thinking she placed a gentle kiss on his lips then pulled away.

"Let's go." Her voice came out in a shaky whisper.

James pressed his foot down on the accelerator and sped away from the dump.

When they arrived at the motel he parked the car in the lot, choosing the spot for its visibility from their window. They walked into the lobby, and took the stairs two at a time. James inserted the key in the door and Kate snuck in the room stealthily to make sure there wasn't anybody waiting for them. She nodded at James that the coast was clear and he slammed the door shut behind him as he entered the room.

Kate pulled off her fake gold tooth and the dirt blonde wig. James ripped off a garbage bag from the roll they had bought earlier that morning and handed it to her, he also thrust a pair of latex gloves into her hands and then working on a pair onto his own hands they headed in opposite directions collecting all the debris they had left behind.

A half an hour later James was working the garbage bags off his feet and he deposited them into the one sitting open by the front door. Kate was just finishing off wiping the surfaces down with the surgical spirit she had purchased at the drug store that morning. James crossed his arms and watched her retrace his steps leading to the front door. When she was standing so close to him her butt was pressing into his groin, she turned around and smiling at him briskly pulled her garbage bags off her feet, head and finally took off one latex glove. James smiled at her tensely and gestured for her to precede him with his chin. She opened the door and stepped out, he picked up the garbage bag at the door and tied it shut, he stepped out and Kate shut the door. He walked to the fire escape and left the building that way while she strode down the hallway and down the stairs; giving the room key back to the clerk she paid him in cash then walked out of the motel with a jaunty step.

James pulled over in front of her and Kate got in, they drove off at a sedate pace stopping by the large garbage cans at a strip mall they unloaded their unwanted goods. The next stop was a self-service car wash they paid particular attention to the tires seeing as they had most probably driven onto Ashley's blood back at the diner. They drove to another car wash this time getting out and letting the Hispanic teenager that worked there fully clean the interior too. Then they continued driving just below the various speed limits until they got to the airport. Unloading the car James left Kate standing outside while he returned the car and got another one. This time he chose a black 2002 Ford Mustang convertible, and when he whistled at Kate to follow him she hid her surprise at his choice with a narrowed green gaze. They loaded their bags into the car and James slid into the driver's seat. She got into the passenger side and buckled her seatbelt as he tore out of the lot. They drove in silence, each of them thinking about the day's events. Once they were outside the city limits he floored the gas. Both of them began to feel a little freer the farther away they got from the tragedy in Tampa.

**Early Evening**

"I think I should drive now."

"Somethin' wrong with my drivin' Freckles?"

"No… it's just that you must be tired by now and I would like to drive now please."

"Why do you sound so funny?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"There it is again that inflection in your voice that says you're mad at me but don't wanna say what is just yet 'cause you're waitin' for me to do somethin' to piss you off even more first."

"I don't need you to do anything else; I think the fact that you snuck off to meet Sayid and didn't tell me constitutes a reason among many."

"I didn't sneak off."

"Uh yeah you did… and look where that skulking around has gotten us… we're going to Miami with no idea where Sayid's house is and the only person who could have saved us the trouble other than Sayid is dead."

"So what are you sayin' that it's my fault Ashley's dead?"

"Maybe it is!"

"Unfuckingbelievable."

"I don't think so… maybe if you invited me along on your little meeting with Sayid… in fact wait scratch that. If you had at least told me last night or this morning before we went to his apartment impersonating police officers that you had met with Sayid and what had been discussed we might not have been seen having pancakes with poor Ashley and she wouldn't be dead right now!"

"She'd be in here in the car with us, is that right?"

"Yes!"

"Okay Sweetcheeks have it your way… I met up with Sayid on Wednesday 'cause he contacted me. See he's always kept me posted as to where he is but this was the first time we've seen each other since we got rescued."

"If that's true then how'd he contact you?"

"My work number."

"What did he say?"

"He asked me if I could meet him in Texarkana at 11 am an' I said yes."

"Then what?"

"I got on a charter plane from Marshall an' met him in Texarkana."

"Go on."

"Thank you for the permission."

"James."

"When I got there he met me in a bar, I told him he looked rough an' he laughed sayin' that I hadn't changed… Then he asked me how the kids were."

"So I was right, he didn't get the mindwipe."

"Yeah you were right. Surprised me too that he remembered them seein' as he never mentioned them in any of his postcards… anyway the long an' short of it is he wanted to know what you remembered."

"Me!? How does he know-"

"Seems like he's been keepin' tabs on all of us… an' he noted the coincidental increase in Dharma activities with your spendin' time with my kids and my family."

"It sounds like you're accusing me of something."

"Does it? Well Sayid seemed to find it very strange that for someone who had no memory an' had been livin' with Jack while you sought treatment from none other than Juliet Burke you were now in my life an' workin' your way into my family."

"Working my way into… are those his words or yours?"

"His."

"I see…" She was careful not to show the pain she felt at the thought that both men had met up in secret and discussed her motives and questioned her sincerity.

"Do you?"

"Yes I do… once again you are exempt of any guilt and I am the villain of the piece."

"You're always tellin' me to get over myself but I think you need to follow your own advice."

"Well I don't have a hidden agenda… all this came as a pretty big surprise to me remember?" Kate voice reflected her hurt outrage. S

he quashed the small voice in her head that told her to consider the possibility that she did have some hidden agenda she had repressed into her subconsciousness.

"Alright easy Freckles, I never said I agreed with him."

"You didn't say you didn't either."

"Touchè."

There was a long and uncomfortable silence. Kate fiddled with the radio dial, settling for an oldies station. Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway to Heaven' wafted over the air waves and filled the car with its haunting melody. When the song ended, she switched the radio off completely, turning to look at James.

"I didn't mean what I said about it maybe being your fault Ashley's dead… I am actually blaming myself for not just insisting she leave the diner with us… I mean it is our fault she's dead right?"

"I think so Sassafras."

"Even if we wanted to stop this, forget about the whole thing and go home it's too late for that now isn't it?" She asked in despair.

"'Fraid so."

"Ashley's death is yet another life on my conscience… this is all my fault."

"Don't be too hard on yourself Freckles."

"I'm not being too hard on myself, in fact I think I'm beginning to judge you for not telling me to get the hell off your property when I came back last weekend. I don't believe in coincidences so maybe Sayid is right and there's something else going on that I don't really know about but it involves me somehow…"

James nodded tersely at this, easing his foot off the gas pedal he pulled over on the hard shoulder. Unbuckling his seatbelt he left the motor running as he stepped out of the car and walking around the back opened the passenger door.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"You said you wanted to drive didn't you?"

"Oh that… I thought you were throwing me out."

"Now why would I do that?"

"I don't know…" Kate said as she ignored the open door and sidled over to the driver's seat.

James gave an exasperated sigh and got into the passenger seat, pushing the chair back to make room for his longer legs. Kate slammed her door shut and shifting gears; let her foot down heavily on the accelerator. James gave her a strange look as he turned the radio back on, lowering the volume a little so neither one of them would have to shout at each other in order to be heard.

"This is the first time you've ever driven me anywhere other than Crazyville an' Hell." James remarked casually.

Kate glanced over at him taken aback that she had never driven him anywhere yet she had borne him four children. She accelerated some more and zipped past four cars with a deft manoeuvre between two lanes.

"Then you haven't lived yet."

"I guess not." James said with a wry grin.

"I have to warn you I drive really fast so I hope you don't get carsick or anything."

"Now why does it not surprise me that a fugitive has a heavy foot when it comes to the pedal?" James mused with an ironic twist to his lips.

Kate smiled at him brightly then she turned the volume up and singing along at the top of her voice continued to speed down the highway suddenly feeling very light-hearted.


	21. Chapter 20 Closer

Hey y'all! Happy Holidays! I hope your Xmases were filled with joy and laughter… Mine was eventful to say the least. I went to the village in the middle of nowhere in ZW where I live now and it was quite an experience. There were none of the things we take for granted in the city like running water, electricity, radio, television, stoves! Was crazy, but so awesome.

Anyhoodle, something funky happened with my last update, in response I decided to fix my copy at home with all the correct html tagging to make the chapter even more readable.

Dahlings!!! I have so much to say, not enough time so please check out my blog: .com for update news, Dulce news (if you care) etc. I am thinking I may post my review responses there if I am unable to post them on this site due to internet usage and bandwidth constraints.

God I miss having unlimited wireless internet!

Anyhoodle, some good news, I thought it would be a nice New Years Present to all my readers. I have to thank y'all for the patience you've shown me when I've faced so many personal problems over the last year.

I aim to have the next few chapters up and posted sooner rather than later, I won't give dates, but updates on my blog if you're interested.

As always and more than ever even, shoutouts to all my loyal, faithful, lovely, lovely readers and Bestest Beta Bud I can't do this without you!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 20 – Closer**

"Wow, Miami's _amazing_ at night."

"Amazingly full of freaks you mean."

"You're grumpy when you're not driving, is it a control thing?"

"_No_, it's a wantin' _to live_ thing, you drive like the hounds of hell are after you."

"Well aren't they?"

"Good point, but slow down for Christ's sakes Freckles you'll get us pulled over."

"Okay, okay, why don't I just stop at that Wendy's and _you_ can drive?"

"Please do… 'sides I'm starvin', their baked potato with sour cream an' chives is just what I need."

Kate laughed, as she zipped into the inner lane and swung the convertible into a parking spot in one neat 180 degree turn. The motion of the car threw James forward and his chest would have slammed into the dashboard had it not been for his seatbelt. He gave her a withering stare which she laughed off as she cut the engine and undid her seatbelt.

"Come on I'm buying."

"No it's okay honey you save your money… I'll get it." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

Kate grabbed his jaw her green eyes searching his blue; then on impulse she leaned in and planted a wet kiss on his lips, she drew away but James pulled her back his hands on either side of her head. The kiss deepened as they teased each other with their tongues. She did not know when it happened but Kate was surprised to find herself straddling his lap when their lips parted. She nipped his lower lip with her teeth as she went back for more. James obliged, letting his hands slide down her arms and resting them on her hips then circling around to cup her buttocks. It was when she moved her hips insistently against him and he felt his own instantaneous response that he pushed her away from him, breathing heavily. Kate reached for his zipper and James grabbed her wayward hands.

"Don't."

She relaxed in his grip, biting her lip she scrambled off him, leaning her head back onto the headrest in the driver's seat. Wordlessly, James unbuckled his seatbelt and climbed out of the car. He walked around to the driver's side and opened her door for her and held his hand out. She took it resignedly, dragging the key out of the ignition as she got out. She avoided his gaze but he tilted her chin up and smiled at her a little sadly, his eyes silently pleading her not to blow the situation out of proportion. She looked away then looked back at him. She shrugged and gave him a half smile. He ran a fingertip down her nose then placing his hand in the small of her back propelled her towards the restaurant.

"Wait! We can't go in there they've got close-circuit cameras in there." Kate dug in her heels like a stubborn mare.

"So?" James tried to gently nudge her towards the entrance, not understanding her logic.

Kate whipped around to face him.

"So… we don't know how far and wide the tentacles of Dharma stretch, do we really want to give away our location when we're already at a disadvantage?"

James cursed volubly under his breath then turned them back around. In the car, he gripped the steering wheel, flexing his hands as he glared at the brightly lit welcoming entrance.

Kate curled her hands into fists; she wanted to reach out and touch him but was unsure of how he would respond.

"James-"

"What now? I'm jonesin' for a square burger an' my goddamn baked potato." He was still staring at the entrance, his shoulders tense.

"If you're any good at accents we can go through the drive-thru."

"What the hell?" James fixed sapphire daggers on her.

"To be on the safe side an accent will minimise the risks of identification via voice recognition software." Kate explained patiently.

James stared at her like he'd never seen her before.

"Trust me; I helped work out the kinks in the software at Securicare." She squirmed.

"Trust me when I say I've had more than enough of you."

"Oh James." She giggled, failing miserably at stifling her mirth.

He pulled up to the speaker and placed their order in a very convincing Australian accent. When they had gotten their food and paid at the window, James sped off with a whoop of joy. Kate shook her head and covered her smiling lips with her left hand; the boyish expression on his face reminded her of DC. She nearly dropped their food when James suddenly slammed on the brakes, and deftly manipulated the car into a vacant parking space.

"Gimme it!" James ordered her as he snatched the two large bags of food from her.

He opened the first bag peered inside then thrust it back at her. Ripping open the second one, he took out a box. He let out a deep sigh of pleasure when he opened the container and the smell of baked potato and sour cream with fresh chives wafted throughout the car. Accepting the plastic fork and knife from Kate he winked at her as he tucked into the meal. He was oblivious to it but she was smiling at him indulgently, drawing similarities between him and Tristan as he ate with relish. Warmth spread from her heart and flooded the rest of her body; this time she did not fight the feeling, letting it suffuse her being. 'You really are in trouble Kate.' She sighed to herself. Stealing one last lingering glance at him she opened her own meal and followed suit.

"Mmmm… that was perfect." James said as he patted his still relatively flat abdomen.

"Yeah, I gotta admit it was pretty good." Kate agreed as she drained her soda cup.

They had made short work of their food, she had discovered that she had been ravenous and was glad in retrospect that James had ordered two of everything.

"Now all we gotta do is figure out a place to stay tonight."

"Why's that so hard?"

"You're the one scarin' me with voice recognition software an' whatnot… you tell me."

She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again. He had a point, where they chose to stay could make or break the whole mission. She cracked her knuckles as she ran through all the possible scenarios she had researched and trained for at Securicare.

"We need to go somewhere where we won't draw attention."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Be nice." She warned him distractedly.

James snapped his fingers at this and started the engine. Bewildered Kate looked around to see what had prompted the sudden action. James turned twinkling sapphire blue eyes at her.

"I've got just the place in mind."

"Do you wanna share it with me please?"

"South Beach baby! There's so many different kinds of freaks an' weirdos there that we'll only stick out if we're too normal!"

"Oh my God you can't be serious!"

"As a heart-attack." James reassured her as he navigated through a small crowd of drag queens singing and dancing in the middle of the street.

"Do you even know how to get there!?" Kate asked incredulously as a man dressed like Britney Spears blew them a kiss.

"Just follow the Fairies."

She crossed her arms unimpressed she was finding his good humor and confidence daunting for some reason. James made a face at her.

"An' yes I know where I'm goin' this city used to be my playground once upon a time."

"Oh even better." Kate grumbled as she looked at the different people standing in line outside a neon-lit palm tree shaped nightclub entrance.

James grinned and turned on the radio, flipping to his favourite Miami station. To nobody's surprise a camp Latin beat blared out of the speakers.

**One Hour Later**

"Okaaay Honey now all you gotta do is slide this card right here in the slot like this et voilà you're in! If you don't think you can handle it I can come up and show you…"

"Thanks I think I got it. You've been a _great _help Destinee."

"Okaaay Baby, bon nuit if you need _anything_ else just give me a call and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow morning before I get off my shift!"

James grinned despite himself as the Cuban transvestite wiggled his fingers at him and turned to serve the next male customer totally ignoring Kate. He picked up their bags and strode towards the elevator, a fuming Kate trailing behind him. They got into the elevator and disembarked on the sixth floor. Setting their bags down, James drew the key out of his pocket before he could do anything Kate had snatched it from him. Inserting it in the slot briskly she pushed the door open and stomped in.

"You okay there Freckles?" The laughter he was suppressing coming out in his voice.

"He… She…. Whatever…. Ignored me completely and yet _I_ paid for the room!"

His cheeks dimpled. "What can I say-"

"I wouldn't say _anything_ at all if I were you… I'll kick you out and since this was the last vacant room you can sleep downstairs with Destinee at the reception desk." Kate warned him waspishly.

"My my… you sure are testy when you don't get any attention." James observed as he set their bags down.

"Blow me." Kate snapped as she slammed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

James chuckled amused by her tantrum. He shook his head as he looked around the plush luxurious gold brocade and cream Louis XIV furnished suite. From the small salon he was standing in he ventured further into the large bedroom which was dominated by a big inviting looking bed and its massive intricately carved headboard. He could hear water running in the bathroom and smiling to himself he went back into the salon and picking up his laptop bag, he unpacked it, setting it down on the small glass topped table he plugged it in and got to work.

Kate slid down further into the deep marble corner bathtub relishing the feel of the hot water and bubbles that seemed to make all her troubles seem inconsequential. Looking around she admired the delicately lit bathroom with its ochre shell-shaped sink, toilet and bidet. The floor had warm sand colored tiles and there was a shelf which housed thick beautiful cream Egyptian cotton towels of every size. She had to hand it to James; he knew his stuff when it came to appealing to a woman's softer side. Scooping up a handful of bubbles she frowned at them as it crossed her mind that he must have brought past marks and conquests to this hotel. She blew the bubbles out of her hand irritated that she was jealous of these unknown and undoubtedly numerous women. Cassidy's face sprung into her mind unbidden and Kate glowered at the 20-inch alabaster statue of Aphrodite mounted in the wall facing her. Agitated she picked up her washcloth, lathered it and started to scrub her body vigorously.

'I don't care who he brought here. It's not like we were together then or we're even a couple now or anything anyway.' Kate tried to tell herself.

Sitting up abruptly she caused the water to move back then forward so violently that she swallowed some of it. Sputtering in shock she flailed her right arm slapping a corner of the soapy washcloth into her eye, she yelped in pain at the stinging sensation. Vaulting out of the tub she caused a huge tidal wave of water to splash over the rim as she ran to the sink and rinsed her eye out with cold water. Turning off the faucet she caught her wet red-eyed reflection in the misty mirror and started to chuckle at the entire ridiculousness of her jealous anger and the resulting chaotic situation emphasized by the popping suds on her dripping body.

'I'm actually losing it, marking James as my territory with Cassidy and now going all single white female about past conquests. Screw the Dharma Initiative, being around James has made me certifiable.' Within seconds she was guffawing in a helpless fit of hilarity, gripping the sink for support as she laughed at herself.

James cocked his head and frowned in concentration, he was not sure if he was just exhausted but it sounded like Kate was laughing rather loudly to herself in the bathtub. As the sounds got louder he realised it really was her, laughing, alone. Getting up quickly he tried the bathroom door; it was locked.

"Hey Freckles, you okay in there!?" James knocked on the door.

She laughed even harder. James' frown deepened.

"Open the door!" He banged on the barrier then he tried to jiggle the handle.

Kate knelt on the floor clinging to the edge of the sink she choked on her saliva as she gasped for air and tried to answer him.

"Freckles, come on now, open this door 'fore I break down… what's goin' on in there!? Freckles!!"

He kicked the door in just as she wrapped a towel around her chilled skin. They stared at each other, James in bewilderment and Kate in amused surprise. He looked around the wet bathroom then back at her.

"What the hell is goin' on in here!?"

"Nothing! I'm taking a bath." Her eyes twinkled playfully.

"You wanna tell me what's so funny 'bout that?" James asked in an excessively cautious tone.

He looked around the room again hoping to find the inexplicable source of Kate's mirth. She secured the towel around her chest and closed the distance between them; sliding her damp hands over his forearms, she rested them briefly on his shoulders then interlinked her fingers behind his neck. He relaxed a little but was still unsure of what to make of her change in mood; Kate tilted her head and looked up at him through lowered lashes.

"It's nothing really… I promise. Now can I finish taking my bath please?"

"I guess… I still don't understand what was so funny though."

"I know James." She said cutely, her tone telling him she was not going to offer any other explanation.

His eyes searched her face in confusion. She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed his forehead, then felt his chest rumble and his shoulders shake. His hands came up to the undersides of her breasts.

"If you move away now you'll completely lose your towel Sweetheart."

She gasped pressing herself harder against him, she covered his hands with her own, he left his there for a few seconds longer than necessary, and she delayed in moving her hands to take control of the gaping open towel. She was lost in the tempting swirling blue depths that twinkled with mirth and mischief. He lowered his gaze, breaking the spell and Kate spun away from him tying the towel tightly. When she turned around again James had shut the door firmly behind him. From where she stood she could see that the lock was broken. Shrugging, she dropped the towel and stepped back into the now tepid bathwater. Strangely, she did not care about the drop in temperature as she hurriedly finished her ablutions.

"Ah nice and clean." Kate announced cheerfully.

James held up a forefinger to silence her as he adjusted his ear-piece.

"Alright Mel I will, unh huh, yeah give them all my love… yeah of course I will… G'night… love you too… okay…now get off the phone… okay… bye!" James rolled his eyes as he unhooked the earpiece and tossed it on the table next to his laptop.

Kate stood a little awkwardly by the television, rubbing her finger on the bathroom doorjamb with feigned indifference. It had not occurred to her that he would touch base with his family but now that he had she couldn't help the yearning to hear not only the children's voices, but Vivienne and Mel's too. This in turn reminded her of the shaky relations she had left behind in Marshall, Texas. James gave her a half smile half grimace.

"As you heard that was Mel, she called to give me an earful for leavin' without sayin' goodbye. Said that you told everyone you were leavin' before you left so she wanted to know what makes me so fuckin' special." He grinned at this last part, obviously amused by his cousin's tirade.

Kate looked up at him a small smile forcing its way through at this last bit. James quirked his brow as he skirted the table and taking her hand pulled it away from the doorjamb.

"Yeah thought that'd amuse you, all clear for you an' I'm back on her shitlist. Fuckin' teenagers." He grumbled good-naturedly.

Kate's face lit up radiantly, James scoffed as he led her to one of the high-backed Louis XIV chairs facing the open laptop.

"Told me to tell you she'd call you tomorrow a.m. at a decent hour, she just called to blast me for leavin' an' then not callin' to apologise let alone let 'em know that we're both okay… She wouldn't even let me talk to Viv or the kids who for some insane reason were all still awake. Hmmpf… decent hour! Apparently I'm the only one that doesn't get that courtesy... or any respect for that matter." He complained with rising indignation.

Kate laughed softly, the sudden cloud that had darkened her heart completely lifted. She tilted the laptop screen back a little to get a better look.

"What am I looking at?"

James crouched down next to her and pointed at a picture of a white condo on the Google Earth map of Miami.

"That's Sayid's house, I'm sure of it."

"How-"

"Everytime he sent me a postcard I'd scan it an' save it in a secret file. In all the craziness since I set foot in Tampa it slipped my mind that I have remote access to that file from anywhere." James said with quiet excitement.

"So this means-"

"That we've got a destination in mind tomorrow mornin'."

"More than _that_! We've got hope!" Kate said excitedly.

"Freckles-"

"I know, I shouldn't get ahead of myself but we needed a good break after Tampa…" Her voice quavered at the mention of the city where they had left the dead teen.

It had happened this morning but it already felt like a lifetime ago. She felt guilty that she had forgotten about it in these last couple of hours. James squeezed her knee reassuringly. She looked at him sadly, her eyes flooded with unshed tears of guilt and sorrow.

"I know… I feel it too." His voice was gruff.

"James we've got to try and find her family or something we can't just-"

"I know Baby, I've already taken care of that as soon as there is any info we'll know 'bout it." He said in grave reassurance.

"How did you take care of it already?" Kate asked in a careful tone, the familiar anxiety that he was playing her seized her heart in a bruising grip.

"It's called the information superhighway Sweetheart, it's not only the source of all the good porn." James quipped.

Kate frowned at him. His grin faded and he sighed, taking her hands in his.

"I've got people I trust Sassafras, all I did was contact them an' get them on the case." His eyes bored into hers, willing her to believe the sincerity she saw there.

"Just like that?" Her tone was dubious and her eyes suspicious.

"No… not just like that… I've got a family to protect you think I do it by just buryin' my head in the sand back in Texas? I've set up a defence system an' it takes manpower an' lots of money to keep me an' the kids off the Dharma radar… luckily my guys can multi-task." James explained patiently.

Kate processed this trying to rationalize his explanation. After a few minutes of internal debate her brow smoothed as if she had arrived at a conclusion. James watched her anxiously, the longer she took the tenser he got. She withdrew her hands from his and turned to the laptop, scanning the different pages of maps. She clicked on an enlarged aerial photograph of Key West.

"So what's here?"

James let out the breath he was holding, "That's the zipcode match for the numbers that were filed on that key we found… I thought we'd try an' find out what we can by checkin' it out too."

She did not look away from the screen but she nodded for him to go on.

"The other maps are places I thought we might be able to find out somethin' 'bout Ashley, maybe we could even find Ronnie the Pimp an' get a hold of that package she mentioned."

Kate turned to look at him now; her eyes were bright with burgeoning excitement. His eyes had a corresponding twinkle.

"I also sent one of my contacts a scan of that flamingo keychain, I'm mailin' it to his lab tomorrow a.m. maybe he can tell us where it came from, if there are any fingerprints… somethin' that could help us."

"Great. What about the Arabic on the postcard?" Her tone was businesslike as she started to think in terms of strategy.

"Well Baby, I thought we'd find ourselves a layperson who speaks Arabic an' we could have a good ole exchange of benjies for a translation."

"I love that idea! It lowers the risk of us accidentally giving the wrong people too much information. James its genius!" Kate said throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him.

She pulled away from him and tapped him on the shoulder repetitively, waiting until she had his full attention.

"I'm trying to trust you but if you go and make decisions without me, involving people I don't know it makes it really hard. Do you think you could run ideas by me first?"

James did not savour the thought of relinquishing anymore control than he had to especially when he was not sure he should trust her at all but she had a point, they were in this together. For better or worse, they had to trust each other or else the whole mission was doomed.

Slowly he nodded, "Deal… same goes for you too though."

Kate nodded her head emphatically; rubbing her clammy palms on the robe she stood up and went to the mini-fridge, opening it she bent over to look for a drink.

"Great. I think a drink is in order… as for tomorrow… do you think we should be masquerading as cops again or what?"

She looked at him from over her shoulder expectantly. James shook his head to clear it, he had to hand it to her, Kate was a soldier, a beautiful, dangerous, moody and unpredictable trooper but a trooper all the same. Getting up he sat down in her recently vacated chair and shut the lid of the laptop.

"Definitely not. It won't take those guys long to figure out our uniforms were from a sex shop. I don't think my Officer G. Lord an' your S. Derriyear will patrol any other part of Florida on Dharma-nabbin' business again." James said with a regretful grin.

Kate chuckled, she stood up, shutting the mini-fridge door with her hip she opened each of the mini-bottles of vodka she'd taken out. She overturned two gold-rimmed crystal tumblers and poured equal amounts in each. There was some fresh but melting ice in the bucket and she dipped her fingers in it dropping three cubes in one tumbler and two in the other. Swirling the contents she approached James, handing him the tumbler with three cubes they clinked the two-thirds full tumblers together before taking a sip.

"Okay, so then what? I don't think it's a good idea to go around town as you and I." She hankered down and sat on the floor, the robe started to fall open so she held the cloth together with her thighs and sat with her legs folded underneath her.

James took another swallow of vodka before he set the tumbler down on the carpet next to her. He swiftly followed it, leaning against the back of the chair; he stretched his legs out but crossed them at the ankles. He wanted to look at her as they talked; she was makeup free and her hair was damply framing her face, overall making her very alluring in all her natural beauty. He mentally shrugged as he told himself there was nothing wrong with looking at something beautiful while you planned what could very well be your last days on Earth. Kate raised her eyebrows expectantly, waving a hand across his face to get his attention.

"Well Sweetheart, I thought we could pay my old friend Monique a visit, she'll do us up so we can fit right in with the natives."

Her features clouded, "Your old friend Monique. Sounds like an old flame."

"Bingo! Give the lady a prize." He mumbled in his best gumshoe voice.

Kate's frown deepened, "James I don't know how I feel about this… I mean is it safe? Can we trust her?"

"I know _I_ trust her… I can't speak for you 'cause it seems you get all weird whenever it involves a woman I may have done the humpty with." His remarked in a thoughtful but mocking tone.

Green fire flashed, "That's because when it comes to you there isn't a question of maybe, it's a question of how many times, for how long and whether there are any souvenirs."

He chuckled deeply at this, and took a healthy gulp of his drink. Kate's irritation grew.

"Drink up Sweetheart tonight's not the night for one of those conversations."

"I'll drink when I'm good and ready." Kate said petulantly.

"You're hell-bent on turnin' mood swings into a new Olympic sport category tonight aren't ya?" James observed wryly.

"Well maybe it's not my fault." Kate snapped.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

She narrowed her eyes at him contemplatively then took a healthy sip of her drink, she suppressed a shudder. The silence stretched between them as she tried to think of something to get back at James with. Searching her brain she thought about all her insecurities when it came to him, thought about the way she always felt at a disadvantage and her mind latching onto one idea her eyes glowed momentarily.

"Hey Freckles- wanna clue me in here!?" He pressed with growing frustration.

She took another big gulp of her drink. 'Good God this is strong!' She mused.

"Freckles!"

Kate rolled her eyes in exasperation, "It means that I should have had my period already and I'm late, you were there the last two times I was late you tell me what it means."

James' eyes nearly popped out of his skull, he stared at her suspiciously, his gaze raking her body as if to see through the robe. He brought them back up to Kate who had a combative glint in her eye and set in her jaw. She watched him with a strange blend of defiance and wariness.

"How late?"

"A week and a half."

James' grip on the tumbler turned his knuckles white. Under Kate's watchful gaze he shakily brought his hand up and drank the rest of the vodka in one swallow.

"James-"

"You're pregnant..." He cut her off with despairing finality.

Her eyes widened in alarm, "I-"

He emitted an empty chuckle from the depths of his chest.

"Well of course you're pregnant, what could possibly make this situation any worse? Lives are in danger an' people are bein' picked off like stool pigeons so that means Kate's pregnant." He muttered in horrified shock.

Kate leaned forward and touched his knee, he jerked back like he'd been scalded. Standing up he went to the mini-fridge and grabbed as many bottles as he could. Without looking at her he opened one and downed its contents then moved on to the next. On his fourth bottle Kate snatched the rest of them away from him. He let out a low growl of protest, his face dark with fury. Kate stepped back, nostrils flaring in fear.

"It's in your best interests Sweetcheeks to hand over that booze."

"I don't understand what's so bad about-"

James grabbed her wrist and dragged her towards him, wrapping one arm around her he wrenched two bottles out of her grasp then thrust her away. Unscrewing the top of one he lowered his eyebrows into a thunderous scowl.

"What's so bad 'bout what? Havin' yet _another_ child neither of us wants when neither of us can even spend three days in each other's company without tearin' each other a new one? Hell Freckles I don't see _anythin'_ that could _possibly_ be bad 'bout _that_! An' hey let's not forget your inclination to do a runner whenever there's responsibility, lifelong or otherwise bein' handed out which leaves _me_ an' me alone to stay up for days, weeks, years on end bottle feedin', nappy changin', bathin', cookin', cleanin', lovin' an' carin'… worryin' 'bout their future an' wellbein' an' explainin'… Yeah let's not forget the explainin' exactly why there is no Mommy in our house like all the other kids an' how if she's ain't dead then _where_ is she-"

"I was kidding."

"No you're right this isn't bad it's much worse… this is up there with the A-bomb an' Armageddon-_What did you just say_!?"

James threw the half-empty bottle on the bed and grabbed Kate's shoulders. His eyes frantically searched her face.

"I said it was a _joke_… I only said that to provoke you."

"You're _not_ pregnant?" He studied her incredulously.

Kate shook her head sheepishly, "No I'm not pregnant, and I'm on very effective birth control so… ha ha… jokes on you…" Her voice petered out in fear at the explosion she knew was going to come.

James pulled her close, Kate squeezed her eyes shut convinced he was finally going to make good on his threat of two days ago and kill her. She didn't feel hands at her throat squeezing the life out of her in fact he was hugging her! She opened one eye pleasantly surprised until she realised he was holding her so tightly she now worried her ribs would break. Maybe he did intend to kill her after all. She squirmed in his embrace. Abruptly he set her away from him but she was still close enough for him to plant a sound kiss on her lips then with dawning horror as to where kissing lead he pushed her away completely. The smile on his face could light up Miami. He clapped his hands together and did a little dance. Kate's eyebrows would have disappeared into her hairline if they could have travelled any higher up.

"It was a joke! A goddamn joke!" He laughed to himself then sat down on the bed hastily and started rubbing his thumb across his forehead.

Kate closed the distance between them standing uncertainly in front of him. He grabbed her right wrist with his left hand and pulled her to the bed forcing her to sit next to him. He did not release her wrist. She brushed back the still brownish black hair that had fallen across his face.

"Was it that bad?" She asked tentatively.

James took a deep breath and looked at her with tired eyes, "You have no idea."

"You're right I don't and I shouldn't have made light of it… I can be spiteful sometimes and I am so sorry I freaked you out like that."

James gave her a tired appraisal, his lips quirking in an equally tired smile.

"It's a scary place the world of baby feedin', colic, fevers, nappy changin', not sleepin' etcetera etcetera."

"I've gathered."

"Trust me, I should know." James said with a shudder.

He planted his hands on either side of the mattress and stood up. Taking off his leather jacket, he threw it on the bed and pulling his t-shirt off he made for the bathroom door. Kate fell backwards onto the mattress and covered her face shaking her head at herself. What had possessed her to make light of that issue of all issues?

"And the award for the worst comic timing during dangerous unwanted life-threatening missions goes to Kate Dorf! Give her a hand please Ladies and Gentlemen!" Kate called out to the empty room.

She chuckled to herself derisively. And then running her hands down her face she sat up again deciding to put some clothes on before James got out of the shower.

He stepped out of the bathroom with a white bathrobe on. Kate was lying on the bed, propped up against the large cushy pillows. She had turned off all the lights except the two on either side of the bed which cast a pale yellow glow across the gold and cream bed and walls.

He walked over to one of his bags and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste out of a side pocket. He straightened up and looked at Kate who was watching him, "After the Island I find I just gotta brush twice a day."

She laughed, sitting up she watched him go back into the bathroom and climbing off the large bed, went to get her own toothbrush. She pushed the door open and waved her toothbrush at him. James chuckled, handing her the tube of toothpaste. Sidling over to him, she met his eyes in the mirror as they brushed their teeth together. James narrowed his eyes at her and Kate giggled, dribbling some toothpaste out on her chin and into the sink.

"Gross!" James remarked as he opened the faucet and scooping some water into his mouth he rinsed the toothpaste out.

He brushed his tongue then rinsed his mouth some more. Dropping his toothbrush into the shell pink ceramic toothbrush stand he flicked some water in her face before beating a hasty retreat. She yelped in protest and slammed the door behind him. He laughed to himself and went to shutdown his laptop. By the time he had packed it in its case, Kate was finished and already sitting back in the center of the bed. She turned the television on and going through the tv guide picked a movie. He strode over to the bed and sat on the edge, smirking at her choice.

"What!?" Kate demanded defensively.

"Nothin'!" James waved her querying face away.

"You've got a something face… now what's wrong with it?"

"Nothin' if you like your science fiction highly fictitious without any basis in reality."

"Oh please!"

"I wasn't finished Sassafras… where was I?"

"No basis in reality science fiction." Kate supplied helpfully.

"Oh yeah… if you like your run of the mill American gung-ho made in Hollywood crap handed to you on a plate, then this is your movie." His grin was self-satisfied as crossed his arms across his chest and sat down on the bed.

"Wow, James that's a truly insightful and cynical critique into the modern film industry's trends." Kate said with a gleam in her eye.

"Yeah well, like I said before I'm a complex guy Sweetheart."

"That you are Cowboy." Kate said as she scooted over to the right.

James plucked the remote out of her hand and went back to the tv guide. She watched him with dancing eyes. Leaning over she whispered in his ear, "James?"

"Yeah Baby?"

"What are you doing?"

"Lookin' for somethin' more plausible to watch other than Aaron Eckhart an' Hilary Swank drillin' down to the Earth's core in a tin can to save the world."

Kate rested her forehead on his shoulder and hid her smile. She lifted her head up and reaching over to what she supposed was going to be her side of the bed, picked up a champagne flute and handed it to him. He accepted the glass and settling on a movie, turned to raise a questioning brow.

"Courtesy of the Prince D'Or and Destinee downstairs… I don't know if you made quite an impression or you're making quite an impression on me with your choice of digs." Kate grinned as she poured him some champagne out of the Dom Perignon bottle.

"Can't it be both?" James joked.

Kate touched her glass to his and took a sip.

"I guess… Rebel Without a Cause huh?" She remarked on his movie choice.

"Yeah, it's one of my faves." James said as he took a sip.

She crossed her legs on the bed and watched him getting into the movie. She unwrapped one of the two chocolates that had been placed in the flutes when they had been brought in. Kate tapped him on the lips with it; he turned to look at her raising his eyebrows at the action. The look in her eyes was a silent challenge. He parted his lips wide enough to bite the chocolate from her fingertips. Then he turned back to watch the movie. Kate unwrapped the other chocolate and plopped it into her mouth. James dragged her closer to him and put his arm around her shoulders. She settled comfortably under the crook of his arm, secretly revelling in the way her nerve endings tingled at the contact and her entire body delighted at the sense of security she felt. By the time the film ended they had drank the entire bottle of champagne and Kate was completely drunk.

"Now was that one of the best damn movies ever or what?" James asked her more than a little arrogantly.

Kate rolled off the bed and landed on the floor with a thud. James leaned across the bed just in time to bump his head with hers as she picked herself off the floor. He fell back with a grunt of pain. Kate winced, standing up she skirted the bed and went to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. James yanked the empty champagne bottle out of the ice bucket and holding it to his forehead he fell back on the pillows with a groan. He heard the toilet flush in the bathroom, some water run into the sink and then the door opened again. Kate strode up to the foot of the bed and hands on hips fixed a mock serious look on her face.

"It was an okay movie, totally clichéd if you ask me… I would rather have watched Cabaret that was on too."

James pulled the bottle away from his forehead, but otherwise did not move.

"Frankly my dear, I don't see how a gun-totin' fugitive brainwashee like yourself can appreciate the multi-layered social an' ethical commentary that is Cabaret."

Kate stared at him, dumbfounded by his statement and the insinuation. He raised his head briefly and gave her an encouraging wink before letting it fall back against the pillows again.

Her chest expanded in indignation, "Appreciate!? It sounds to me like Rebel Without A Cause is your favourite not because James Dean is all macho and swagger but because he also happens to be a great gay icon. Just like Liza Minelli."

James' chest rumbled with mirth, sitting up he gave her a lazy once-over.

"An' just what exactly are you implyin' Sweetcheeks?"

"That I heard your favourite movie was Viva Las Vegas and here you are claiming that it's something else." Kate sniffed as she climbed back on the bed.

James dragged her up closer to him, "Get over here 'fore you fall off again, you crazy wench."

"I'm not a wench and Jay said Viva Las Vegas was your favourite movie, so there."

"Baby, if you believe everythin' that comes out of Jay's mouth you're not half as smart as you look." James admonished gently as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

"I didn't say I believed everything, but I am saying I believed _that_."

He snorted in contempt, "An' so what if it was? Elvis was a pretty darn good entertainer."

"Entertainer is right… actor not so much." Kate mocked gently as she laid her head on his lap and let her feet hang off the edge of the bed.

"Make yourself comfortable Sassafras." James grumbled.

She beamed up at him, "Honey, I'm too drunk to care… and since you asked, my favourite movie growing up was Leslie Charon, Maurice Chevalier and Rex Harrison in Gigi."

"I didn't ask and… Gigi!? It's so typical it figures." James scoffed, he stroked her hair absent-mindedly.

Kate wrinkled her nose at his mockery, "At least my movie won Academy Awards and none of its actors died over-the-hill, overweight and by an overdose."

"You know that for a fact?" James challenged her.

"Well… Definitely the overweight part." Kate said with a half-hearted shrug.

"Don't diss the King Sassafras. I ain't heard no four year olds singin' anythin' your Leslie or dirty minded Maurice Chevalier ever sang."

"The four year olds you're referring to wouldn't happen to have come out of my body would they?" Kate asked with a bored sigh.

"An' so what if they did?"

"Well they're biased 'cause you made them that way." She said matter-of-factly.

James spluttered indignantly, "Now hold on a sec, I ain't never forced my taste on my kids nor have I-"

She sighed cutting him off, "Okay, okay fine, you didn't bias them towards Elvis movies… so what other movies do you like?"

"Growin' up or present day?" He asked suspiciously.

"Both."

"Hmm… Cat on a Hot Tin Roof-"

"Ah yes… Paul Newman and Liz Taylor when they were both very very pretty." Kate remarked with a smile.

"What are you talkin' 'bout? Liz is hotter than ever now!"

Kate rolled her eyes, "Ha ha. My turn, like I told you a the dance studio, Dirty Dancing, God I loved that movie. Then there's Legends of the Fall… Brad Pitt looking oh so very pretty."

"Can't argue 'bout Dirty Dancin' and yeah, Brad Pitt did look good in Legends." James agreed.

She smiled at him sweetly, "James?"

"Yeah?"

"How are you not gay?

"You know what Freckles, I have no idea, it would've been so much easier an' I would've been a fabulous fairy." James quipped.

Kate guffawed with laughter.

"I don't know anyone like you…"

He chuckled along with her, when he caught himself gazing at her longingly as he stroked her hair he stopped laughing and the soothing motion of his hand abruptly. Kate whose eyes had been closed opened them and blindly reached out for his hand.

"Don't stop, it makes the room stop spinning!" She protested.

His lips twisted in an ironic grin as he resumed the motion.

"You haven't told me what the other movies are."

"Hmm… well there's also A Streetcar Named Desire, Kiss Me Kate, Chinatown, Fight Club, American History X, The Untouchables-"

"Kiss Me Kate!? That's a joke right?" She scoffed in delayed reaction to his mention of the movie.

"No… it's a real movie with Ann Miller." James corrected her cockily.

"Whoa that's a lot of camp movies there Cowboy…"

"I knew you'd pick up on that."

"I mean come on A Streetcar? With Marlon Brando in his tight white t-shirt and then he gets wet in the rain…"

"I don't know 'bout all that, Jim an' I used to watch it 'cause we both wanted to do Blanche Dubois."

"How old were you?"

"I dunno ten."

"Ten!?"

"Well I lost my virginity when I was-"

"I know! Please don't remind me!"

James shrugged and leaned back against the pillows he too was now feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"Are you drunk?" Her tone was hopeful as eyes still closed she frowned in concentration.

"Naw… just tipsy."

"Damn."

"Why? You plannin' on takin' advantage of me?"

"Not really… I was hoping to get you drunk so we could forget about my bringing up the 'p' word." Kate said with that childish honesty only children and intoxicated adults were capable of.

James let out a sigh, "I think your ploy worked until you brought it up again."

"Shit."

"Why Miz Katherine that's some mighty foul language you speak." James drawled.

"I'm drunk, I know this… and I also know we can't afford to get drunk every night because we could get sloppy but after today I just thought it would be nice you know?" Kate sat up and faced James her eyes beseeching him to understand.

James nodded, "I know."

Kate shook her head in agitation, "No I don't think you do! In Marshall it's your show and here well you're here because of me so I feel like I should be your hostess, then there you are coming up with all the ideas and the contacts and here I am with my really bad comic timing bringing up the 'p' word-" She made quotation marks when she said the letter 'p'.

"I get it Freckles-"

"Do you!? I mean do you really? Here we are talking about our favourite movies and for all I know I already told you what they were on the Island and while the whole thing is new to me, we've already done this before!" Kate said loudly.

James clapped a hand over her mouth and dragged her towards him until she was straddling his lap.

"Enough. Don't make me kiss you to shut you up."

She pried his fingers away from her mouth and tilting her head leaned in to plant a wet kiss on his lips. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders she nuzzled his neck with her face, and then finding a comfortable position sighed in contentment.

"I'm drunk."

"I know."

"And I'm glad."

"'Bout me knowin' your drunk?"

"No… I'm _glad_ that you're here with me, I know I can't do this without you."

"Ahh." James breathed out knowingly.

"And I'm sad."

"You're glad an' you're sad you sure this isn't some Dr. Seuss joke you're 'bout to spring on me?"

"Yes I'm sure… And no, I'm not joking around, I'm shh- shheriously sad." Kate started to slur.

Her eyes widened in consternation as she heard her words suddenly start to come out wrong. She frowned at herself.

"Seriously sad 'bout what?" James asked indulgently.

"Sad about Ashley, about Sayid, about you, me, Trisstan and the tripletsshh… Jack… Juliet, the Marshhh, my Mom, my Dad, Tom, Wayne… everybody."

"I don't get why you're sad 'bout Jack." James quipped as he held her close.

Kate grunted something but did not elaborate further, giving up on talking she snuggled closer into his neck. James waited half a minute and when she said nothing else he drew back to look at her and was amused to see that she had fallen asleep. He stroked her hair back from her face before he lifted her off his lap and laid her on the bed. Pulling the majority of the pillows off the bed, he tugged at a corner of the bedspread in order to tuck her in. She mumbled something but was otherwise pliant. Once he got her in the bed, he tugged off her bathrobe, leaving her in her boxer style pyjama shorts and cotton spaghetti strap top that displayed her puckered nipples. He covered her with the sheet and switched off her bedside lamp. Settling in the bed too he switched off his lamp and lay back in the cool darkness. His heart and thoughts were in turmoil, it had been a rough day and he was still not recovered from Kate's idea of a gag. He took a deep breath and braced himself to go through the gamut of emotions bubbling underneath the surface. But he could not get too introspective as his attention kept shifting to the image of Kate's breasts underneath her cotton shirt. With a lazy grin he realised he was too tipsy to care about the deeper things. He sighed to himself and closed his eyes swiftly following Kate into the waiting arms of the Sandman.

**Mid Morning**

James snuck them into the back entrance of a beauty parlor after an exchange of words that sounded very much like jibberish to Kate and $20 bill. She rolled her eyes and stopped halfway through the action. She had forgotten that her hangover from hell was making it very difficult for her to breathe evenly let alone afford her the luxury of unnecessary actions such as rolling her eyes. She let out a tired sigh as James, wearing board shorts, a loud floral print short-sleeved shirt over a white wife-beater, flip-flops, dark shades and a LA Raiders baseball cap grabbed her wrist and ushered her in through the back entrance. She stumbled as her decidedly dry and bloodshot eyes painfully adjusted to the light in the room. At least the place was air-conditioned she noticed as she let James lead her through what must be the staff-room, past a broom closet and into a garishly lit, tastefully decorated room with loud cheesy latin music blaring out of unseen Bang & Olufson speakers. They walked past the wash-basins and approached a tall statuesque black woman who had her back to them. She was laughing a deep throaty laugh at something her client an ivory-skinned, freckled slight man with a shocking multi-colored mohawk was saying as she added some finishing touches to his impressive hair-do. James let go of Kate's hand and went to stand very close to the woman, he swiftly took off his shades and cap and tossed them carelessly on the floor.

"If you don't laugh just as hard at my jokes Nikki I'll throw you out that window." James said in a low threatening voice.

The woman whipped around with a scowl but when she saw who it was she screamed so loud Kate cringed, biting the inside of her cheek so hard she drew blood. When she opened her eyes she was just in time to see James and the woman she guessed was Monique hugging each other like they were the only two people left on the planet. Forgetting her hangover, Kate's eyes narrowed dangerously at the display. The man in the hair-dresser's chair swivelled around to watch her with open curiosity.

"Sweet Lord Jamie, you're a sight for sore eyes! What's with the outfit, I thought you weren't turnin' tricks no more!?" Monique said, running her hands up and down James' arms, flanks, chest and face as she spoke.

Kate had to grit her teeth and clench her fists to stop herself from marching up to the woman and ripping her arms off. And what beautiful arms they were. No doubt about it, Monique was one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen. She gasped when the woman stopped molesting James long enough to look at her with a similar curiosity to the one being displayed by everyone else in the room.

Monique's skin was the color of Swiss milk chocolate; her black, shiny, straight hair was pulled in a high ponytail that had the ends brushing against her shoulders. Her oval face was that of a fallen angel, the almond shaped far apart amber-colored eyes framed by long dark-mascared eyelashes, glowing in the flawless-complexioned face. A perfect patrician nose flanked by high sculpted cheekbones pointed down to luscious red-lipsticked lips that parted to show very white and very straight teeth. She was slender but curvy, dressed in a plain white tank top, blue jean capris and jewelled white sandals with ruby-red colored toenails twinkling underneath the salon's fluorescent lights. Kate noted she was not wearing the smock most beauticians wore. 'Probably too vain to cover up those D-cups.' She thought unkindly.

"Oh sorry, Nikki, this is Kate, Kate this is Monique." James introduced them.

'Yeah you sound real sorry.' Kate fumed internally as she pasted a million-dollar smile on her lips and stepped forward to shake Monique's hand.

"Pleased to meet you."

"Girl take them sunglasses off I can't be meetin' peeps for the first time with half their face covered." Monique exclaimed as she took a step forward and whisked the shades off Kate's face herself.

Kate squeaked in growing horror as Monique proceeded to yank Kate's straw hat off too. The other woman put her hands on Kate's shoulders and holding her at arms length took a good look at her. A dull red flush crept up Kate's face. She felt grossly over-dressed in comparison to Monique in her Matthew Williamson silk floral print wraparound dress and sparkly gel flip-flops. In fact she felt like one of the ungainly ugly stepsisters next to Cinderella's natural effortless graceful beauty. The sinking feeling of having grossly miscalculated this meeting with the enemy was exacerbated by the height difference between her and Monique. As well as the fact that besides the mascara and lipstick her counterpart was completely makeup free whereas Kate had pulled all the stops to make herself look as good as possible which meant foundation, light-reflecting powder, eye-shadow, and blusher to name a few.

Monique raised an eyebrow and turned a questioning face at James. To Kate's deepening embarrassment he shrugged helplessly in response to Monique's unspoken question.

"The pleasure in meetin' ya is all mine Kate." Monique said brightly as she let Kate go and pushed her into a hairdresser's chair.

She raised both eyebrows at the low knot at the nape of Kate's neck and traded despairing looks with the pale multi-colored Mohawked man in the chair next to her.

"So Jamie you in town on business or pleasure?" Monique asked as she pulled on a stylish looking white smock that had her name printed across it in black lettering.

James who was now leaning against the counter, standing between Kate and Mohawk as Kate dubbed him gave Monique one of his slow sexy smiles.

"Now that would be tellin'." He drawled.

"Why don't I get Eric here to get you an' Kate somethin' to eat, it's only 10:15 we never open before noon on a Saturday, an' while I try to guess why you're in town, you can tell me all about Viv's birthday bash." Monique said as she tucked a strand of James' hair behind his ear and smoothed his collar.

Kate frowned.

Eric beamed as he got out of his chair, straightening his own white smock he hurried off towards the back of the room. He snapped his fingers and dragged the other two hairdressers who were watching everything with rapt attention. Kate watched them go, noticing that they were all wearing white tops of some kind and blue jeans. She turned back to watch Monique coiled around James and closed her eyes in frustration. Her hangover was bulldozing through her head like a sledgehammer. She was not up to the task of dealing with this gorgeous Amazon.

"I hope there's some bacon an' eggs in that somethin' to eat Nikki, I'm starvin' like Marvin' an' Kate here's got a hangover so bad she's scowlin' all over the joint for no reason." James drawled wrapping his hands around Monique's small waist as he smiled into Monique's beautiful eyes.

Monique was only a couple inches shorter than him, which meant they were perfect for each other Kate noted sourly.

"Ahh that's the reason for all that barely there makeup!" Monique looked at Kate in the mirror with dawning realisation.

Kate gave her the finger and to her surprise, Monique burst out laughing.

"Now that's more like it… I was startin' to think that there was nothin' of you in them mighty fine kids of yours except for the genes." Monique said reaching over to pat Kate on the shoulder before untangling herself from James' arms and hurrying in the same direction as her staff. Kate's bewildered eyes met James'.

"I guess it's obvious to everyone but you Sassafras." He shrugged.

"How does she know about them in the first place?" Kate hissed angrily.

"Nikki's a trusted an' very old friend."

"Old friend my ass, she doesn't look a day over twenty-five."

"Oh you better make sure you tell her that yourself, y'all will be best-friends forever."

"Tell me what?" Monique asked as she handed James and Kate a black steaming mug of coffee each.

"Thanks Nikki… Go on Freckles, tell her." James prompted off-handedly as he blew on his coffee.

Monique turned to look down at Kate expectantly. Kate flushed.

"I said you didn't look a day over twenty-five." Kate said in a defiant tone.

Monique grinned, "He's right I think we are gonna be best-friends forever… Sweetheart I'm a few years older than Jamie here."

"Not possible."

"Crazy I know, but not only possible… it's a matter of fact." Monique chuckled.

"Breakfast is served!" Eric chimed as he brought a tray laden with plates and food.

Passing the tray to James, Eric accepted a marble-topped trolley which was going to serve as their table from one of the other hair-dressers. James plopped the tray on it and accepted the stool Eric brought him so the three of them could eat together in a semi-circle. Monique sat down in the chair Eric had vacated earlier and leaning forward took a plate laden with toast, pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon and maple syrup. James took the other one, passing Kate the single plate that did not have maple syrup already poured, and the eggs were fried as opposed to scrambled. She squelched the urge to blast him for supposing she did not want to be part of their cholesterol-rich indulgence.

"Well!? How was Vivi's bash!?" Monique asked James over a mouthful of food.

James nodded as he chewed, holding his fork up then setting his cutlery down he took a gulp of coffee.

"God Nikki you sure know how to fry shit up!" He said appreciatively.

Kate shoved a piece of toast in her mouth green with envy.

"Viv's party was a blast; you know how we Fords can throwdown if we ain't killin' each other."

"Yeah I know how you Fords can throwdown alright… did Mel an' the kids do their lil' show?" Monique asked wistfully.

James and Kate nodded. Monique turned twinkling eyes on Kate.

"You were there!? I bet them kids looked mighty cute up on stage… I was supposed to be there but my son was performin' his first surgery, he's a med student an' he wanted me there for moral support." She explained.

"The kids were so cute on stage and… I'm sorry if I seem like I'm staring but I just can't get over the fact that you're not a day older than twenty five." Kate offered with a shy smile.

"Girl, you've gotta let me do somethin' bout your makeup an' your hair, I'll do it free of charge 'cause you're so sweet." Monique beamed.

"How'd the surgery go?" James asked.

"How'd you think it went, he nailed that shit!" Monique crowed.

James grinned with pride. Kate had a funny feeling she was not going to like the explanation behind that grin. She shovelled more food into her mouth, admitting to herself that it was just what she needed and it tasted delicious. They ate in silence and when they were done, Eric came to clear everything away by rolling the trolley off. Monique got up and washed her hands in a small hand-basin in the corner. Wiping her hands on her smock she approached James and Kate.

"So what can I do you for?" Her tone was business-like.

"We need a couple guises." James said in the same tone.

Monique frowned. Kate found herself staring at the only blemish on her face which was a tattooed teardrop on the corner of her right eye.

"It's a one-off job Nikki I promise."

"I've heard that before."

"Come on now… you seen me workin' any kind of grift since I came down from Canada?"

"This is how it starts Jamie then next thing it's, just one more an' that's it Nikki."

"Yeah well this is different, if I screw it up I'll be too busy pushin' up daisies to be goin' to the next thing."

Monique stopped in front of James hands on hips; he tilted his head to look up at her.

"What are you into now?"

"It's not me as such… its Kate here."

Monique turned to look at Kate with disappointment. Kate flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry." Kate mumbled helplessly. Her green eyes beseeched James for help.

"You're wearin' designer an' lookin' like some kinda Wasp Princess an' you're a grifter?" Monique asked reproachfully.

"No… I've been drugged and brainwashed for the last four years and only just discovered that Tristan and the triplets were my kids two weeks ago when I stopped taking the drugs. I- We need your help because I'm going after the people that did this to me." Kate said tartly.

Monique's eyes widened and she looked at James who inclined his head slightly to collaborate Kate's explanation. Monique turned back to look at Kate.

"Shouldn't you be spendin' your time gettin' to know your kids then?"

"I would if these people would let me but if I don't learn some more about my enemies they will track me down and lock me up probably killing those very same kids and their father in the process."

"Well why didn't you say so in the first place? What do y'all need exactly?"

"James and I thought one guise we could do with would help us blend in with the dregs of Miami, one with the crème de la crème of Miami and another that could help us fit in with the average Floridian." Kate said hopefully.

"Is that it!? ERIC!" Monique yelled.

Eric came running.

"Get Freddie an' Kenny, call Duke as well, we got work to do, an' we ain't openin' the joint until we're done." Monique ordered.

Eric's blue eyes darted to Kate and then back to Monique's face as he nodded in mounting excitement. Laying a hand on Kate's chair he beamed at her.

"Honey you've come to the right place we'll do you so good your own Mother won't recognise you!"

Kate smiled back at him and with a curt nod at James he ran to get his coworkers. James and Monique both looked pretty grim as Kate jumped up from her seat and hugged Monique.

"Thank you, thank you so much for this."

Monique hugged her back and then pulling away gave James' hand a squeeze before she walked to a cupboard next to the hand sink across the room. Kate sidled up to James and searched his unsmiling face; he put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulders briefly.

"She ain't doin' it for you, she's doin' it for the kids… Smile Sassafras we're gonna get what we came for."

He let go of her and walked over to help Monique with a large black box-like contraption on wheels she was trying to pull out of the cupboard. Kate rubbed her hands in glee as the thought of wiping the smug looks off of Jack, Juliet and the big bosses at Securicare's faces.

_**Well I thought I should end this chapter here, the next one will be action-packed with some good stuff in there! Whaddaya think!??**_


	22. Chapter 21 Sine Qua Non

**A/N:** Umm... I don't really have much to say seeing as it's taken me one year and ten months to update. I have gotten some PMs and stuff here and there so it forced me to get off my booty and edit this chapter (which I wrote two years ago). Since my last update, the Kate and Sawyer website was closed *sniff*, James and Juliet gave the _ABC_ portrayal of James and Kate a run for their money... the show **ended**, oh and Jate apparently did turn out to be fate or something? *rolls eyes and dry heaves* I don't care.

I'm gonna continue with this fic anyway.

So... onwards and upwards as they say!

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Sine Qua Non**

They made a good-looking couple; she was plump with rosy apple cheeks and a strawberries and cream complexion that was set off by the fine, bone-straight strawberry-blonde hair peeking from underneath her wide-brimmed white straw hat. Her brown eyes twinkled as she surveyed the scene around her in downtown Miami. Her partner a beer-bellied but still attractive man in a white Miami Dolphins t-shirt, khaki cargo shorts, a Dolphins fanny-pack, Rafters and Dolphins baseball cap drew her closer to share a confidence which made her frown.

Kate looked down at the pink calico dress she was wearing with a black fanny-pack girdling her waist and leather Jesus-sandals and it took all her inner strength to suppress a grimace. She had to hand it to Monique and her team, when she had looked in the mirror after they were done she had barely recognised herself. She snuck a glance up at James who was walking in wide but small strides that made him look like he had always had the beer belly Monique had given him.

"Whatsa matter hon?" James asked solicitously.

"I've never consciously worn calico, nor am I fan of pink."

"Well, technically this ain't you is it, so it don't really matter."

"I know but it-"

"You're the one who wanted to go on this foolhardy mission in the first place Freckles an' now that you gotta play the part you wanna start bitchin' 'bout the job Nikki did for no fee an' out of the goodness of her heart-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful, 'cause I am!"

"Well then try showin' it a little." James grumbled from the corner of his mouth.

"Sorry… It's just that I feel like everyone is watching us." Kate said tersely.

"Freckles we're in Downtown, Miami, why the hell would anybody be watchin' us when we look so run-of-the mill American tourist surrounded by many more run-of-the mill American tourists?"

"I don't know, I just can't shake the feeling that we're being watched."

"There are CCTV cameras all over the place so its not like your feelin' is completely wrong, an' that's exactly why ya need to relax so as not to draw any attention to us." James said in an equally terse tone.

"Don't you think I'm trying?"

"You're not tryin' hard enough… how the hell did you last so long on the run if you were this uptight?"

"That was different, I was on my own and I avoided overly crowded places."

"If that's the case then I repeat, how the hell did you last so long? Crowded places are the easiest way to hide in plain sight."

"Luck maybe?" Kate said cockily.

"Yeah well, we're all outta that at the mo so loosen up or you'll get us busted." James snorted, squeezing her hand very hard to stress his point.

She pasted a bright smile on her face and squeezed his hand back.

A thin, sharp-faced woman approached them, grabbing Kate's free arm in a tight grip. Kate's eyes flared in panic but James anchored her to his side, effectively stopping her from struggling to break free.

"Scuse me, I'm looking for the free train, where do I find that?"

"Umm… it's j-j-just over… it's a block away from here." Kate stammered anxiously.

"Where?"

"If you keep on going straight it will be on your left hand side, it's called the Metromover and they've got a station roughly every two blocks. I'm pretty sure we just passed one, isn't that right Hon?"

"Yep, just where she said you'd find it, lady."

"Okay, thanks!" The lady said as she hurried off.

Kate turned to look up at James, he shrugged at her with an encouraging smile.

"See, that wasn't so bad, I keep tellin' you Puddin' relax an' it'll be alright, I'm right here."

"Okay, but I think I had minor heart-attack there so let's find somewhere to sit, my voluptuous ass needs somewhere to rest." She quipped.

James slid a glance at her exceptionally rounded and ample derriere and grinned appreciatively, "I'm sure glad Nikki's idea of an average Floridian has your ass in the double figure zone."

"Grow up!" Kate said with a smile in her voice.

"I'm serious Baby; _this_ is what it's_ all_ about!" James said as he squeezed her bottom.

"Don't do that!" Kate protested with a laugh as she tried to swat his hand away.

James raised an eye-brow at her, as she grabbed both his hands and clasped them in his hers.

"We're supposed to be blendin' in; you holdin' my hands like that makes it real hard for me to walk properly."

"Okay, I'll let go but stop squeezing my fake fat ass!" Kate admonished, still unable to keep the smile off her face.

"Fine, whatever you say Big Momma." James agreed in a suspiciously acquiescent tone.

They both laughed as James wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulder and steered them out of the crowd towards the pier.

"Come on, I'll buy you somethin' nice an' fat free to eat."

"Speak for yourself Bubba, you could lose a pound or twenty!" Kate retorted, jabbing him in the gut.

They got on a Metromover a few blocks down and then walked over to Miami Beach.

"Come on Kiddo, I'll take you to Wet Willie's, forget the fat-free, hair of the dog that bit you last night is what you need." James said as he led the way down Ocean Drive.

Kate looked around the road with wonder, the famous Art Deco Architecture that made South Beach so popular vividly enchanting.

"I didn't really see this last night because I was more worried about where we were gonna stay but its amazing!" She exclaimed with childish excitement.

James grinned at her, as they walked past palm trees and umbrellas on the sidewalk and he pushed the door open to an air-conditioned pinkish-red and orange lit basement bar done with white and red furnishings. Kate clutched her multi-colored beach bag closer to her as James approached the bartender.

"Hi, we just want some cocktails… Where are my manners? I'm Gary and this here is my wife Ginger. Say hi Ginger."

"Hi, pleased to meet ya." Kate drawled in a convincing Southern accent.

"She's Southern, how'd you like that? Anyways, she read in the TimeOut guide that this bar was the place to get us some alcoholic slushies before we hit the beach, so if you don't mind, we'd very much like your advice or a menu to help us decide what drinks we want to get." James finished in his earnest, distinctively Eastern accent.

James pulled a stool for Kate and as soon as she was seated, he took the one next to her. The bartender, a good-looking Italian-American whose name-tag read Vinny, smiled at them politely, handing them a menu each.

"Welcome to Wet Willies, and to SoBe."

"SoBe?" Kate asked with an endearing frown.

"That's what we locals call South Beach. Welcome to South Beach and I guess I should also say Miami?" Vinny asked.

"Why you're mighty polite, isn't he polite as evah Gary?" Kate practically purred as she stroked Vinny's arm.

Vinny's eyebrows sky-rocketed but he was well-trained enough not to laugh outloud.

"He sure is Baby, I think she'll have the Mango-Coconut Pina Colada and I'll get the Bahama Mama Caipirinha."

"Coming right up." Vinny said as he turned away from them to make their drinks.

"Aww, Sugarpie, this place sure is impressive, we gotta come back here for an aperitif some night." Kate gushed at James.

"Not a problem Pumpkin, we'll put that on our to-do list."

"I'm just gonna go powder ma nose, I'll be back in a jiffy Vinny, don't you worry your handsome head none." Kate called out to Vinny as James rose from his seat on the bar-stool.

James' eyes twinkled in disbelieving appreciation at her antics. Vinny turned back to James and poured out their drinks in tall plastic glasses.

"Plastic?" James asked.

"Yes sir, so that you can take them out with you to the beach."

"That's a really smart idea."

"The patrons seem to like it."

"Hmm… oh she'll have a pink cup, and make sure she gets an umbrella too, thanks. Actually add another shot of whatever in there; my Gina likes her drinks and her men strong." He added with a wink.

Vinny smiled at this, his grin widening as Kate returned.

"Your Mango-Cocunut Pina Colada ma'am."

"Why thank you Handsome." Kate said, pinching Vinny's cheek.

She took a sip of the drink and murmured in delight. James reached into his fanny-pack and pulled out $40 which he handed to Vinny.

"Come on Little Lady, let's get us some sun."

"Bye for now Vincent! I'm sure he'll be back for another glass!" Kate cried as James steered them out of the bar.

When they got out into the sunshine, they crossed the street onto the beach and keeping a tight rein on their mirth found themselves a bench to sit on facing the water. When they sat down, Kate let out a giggle.

"Gary… the look on your face when I started talking in my heavy Virginian drawl made the last two days worth it."

"You think so Freckles? How'd you like your Mango-Coconut Pina Colada?" He mocked.

"I hate you for that, I can't stand Pina Colada or coconut!" She protested.

"But I'm sure Ginger from Virginia would find it just the right kinda exotic."

Kate pinched his arm as they laughed together. Putting his arm around her, James drew her close to him and kissed her on the forehead. She put her free arm around his back and drew him closer, kissing him soundly on the lips. He kissed her back and when they drew apart he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"So I take it you think that us acting like a couple won't get us the wrong kind of attention?" She asked him softly.

"Well, Sassafras, I think we got a better chance of gettin' away with everythin' if we act natural 'round each other an' from what Ashley said to us in Tampa I think its pretty obvious that we're no good at hidin' our sexual attraction from folks." James said matter-of-factly.

Kate turned her face up to him and looked into his eyes for a few seconds trying to determine the veracity of his statement. His eyes softened under her appraisal and she smiled at him through her lashes, secretly pleased at the raw emotion she saw in the blue depths as well as the prospect of not having to worry about pretending not to be attracted to him.

She leaned up and sighed with pleasure when he met her lips in a soft and tender kiss. When they broke apart she took a healthy sip of her Pina Colada.

"What was that for?" She asked casually, toying with her umbrella, she avoided his eyes.

"Just stayin' in character." He replied in an equally casual tone.

She raised her eyes up to meet his, dazzling him with the brilliance of her smile. He chuckled, reaching for her beach-bag.

"Let's take a look at our maps an' plan our next move. Don't know if you've got any ideas 'bout where we should start?" His tone was now brisk and business-like.

Kate set down her glass and took a few maps from him, looking at the notes she'd made in the margins, she frowned in concentration.

"I think we should start with goin' to Captain Falafel's house in Key West like we agreed before." James suggested, looking to her for confirmation.

She nodded emphatically, "Okay, so what are we doing here then?"

"I thought we should try out our disguise in public… an' I also just wanted to cop a feel of that fat booty."

She burst out laughing, "There really is no one like you James."

He shrugged, putting their maps away, with a smirk on his face.

"Come on Cowboy, it's 3 pm, we should get going, I don't wanna go to Sayid's after dark it'll be more dangerous."

"Alright, let me finish my drink first!" He protested good-naturedly as Kate got up, slinging the beach bag over her shoulder.

"Well hurry up!" She retorted as she sashayed towards the taxi-cab rank a few hundred yards away from them.

If she had turned around she would have seen the unholy glint in James' eyes as he watched her extra-padded hips and ass move underneath the thin fabric.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

The voice in her head that was telling her to be careful was savagely silenced as James' tongue energetically probed the depths of Kate's mouth for the second time in as many minutes. She scooted closer, so she was sitting in his lap and drew his head closer to her so she could kiss him back with just as much fervor. He pulled away and started to trail kisses down her neck as her heart beat frantically in time with the Gloria Estefan song blaring out of the cab's stereo. James' right hand squeezed her enhanced bustline, while the left slid up her skirt, stroking her inner thighs on its way up; she gasped with pleasure, titillated by their very public display of affection. The taxi cab pulled to a stop, preventing James from going any further and Kate from letting him. They were near the curb of a leafy neighbourhood in Key West.

"Gary we're here!" She exclaimed breathlessly to James.

Perversely, James kept his hand up her skirt as the Cuban driver turned around and speaking to them through the glass pane, told them they had arrived at their destination.

"Thanks a lot Chico, do you know any nice motels or hotels in the vicinity where me and the Missus can go?" James asked in a tellingly husky voice.

The driver nodded, accepting the money Kate gave him with fumbling fingers before she opened the door and escaped outside.

"Yeah, sure… the two of you really need it, huh? Let me guess, you're either newlyweds or she's somebody's wife, am I right?" The cab driver spoke, his voice heavy with lewd insinuation.

James gave a self-satisfied smile, "We're on a second honeymoon, renewed our vows last month… So yeah, we're newlyweds of a kind."

He stepped out of the cab and shouldering Kate's beach-bag leaned into the passenger window waiting for the driver to finish writing down the address to a nearby hotel. Kate, not to be outdone, leaned over and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning in to kiss his neck, while her hands travelled down to his groin, right in front of the driver. James' back muscles were tense beneath her front.

"This is a good hotel, they do bed and breakfast in their standard price, they also got a nice restaurant and bar. Have fun!" The cab-driver said as he handed James the piece of paper and winked at Kate.

James thanked the man, straightening up as the driver drove off, waving at them from his window. Scowling, he turned to look at Kate. Crossing her arms, she laughed at him.

"Why is it okay for you to maul me in public but not for me to do it to you?"

"I didn't say don't do it, I was just surprised… 'Sides it's different for me as my clothes don't hide what's happenin' to a very external part of my body..." His tone getting more and more defensive as Kate listened with exaggerated attention.

"Take it on the chin soldier, you didn't hear me complaining despite your _serious_ breach of propriety when you had your _hand_ up my skirt while the cab driver was _watching_."

"Thank you _Scarlett_, now if you don't mind I'd like to get to the street parallel from us where Abdul lives." James said testily as he dragged her with him.

"Wait, we can't just walk up there without some kind of cover story. We've also got to be careful walking around here, there may be surveillance cameras or vans around the street or even people who are waiting for us to walk into a trap. Remember Ashley said that two guys that weren't law enforcement went into his building in Tampa before the real cops got there?"

"Okay Nancy Drew, what do you suggest we do?" James asked irritably, stopping in his tracks to look at her.

Kate bit her lip, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear she put the straw hat back on, "I think we should go in via the front door, we've got a key right? We'll just pretend we get it from a potted plant or something… if we bump into anyone we'll pretend we're looking for an old friend who isn't Sayid."

James nodded, seeing the logic in her proposal he pulled out his cell-phone and dialled a number.

"Hey it's me. Listen, I need the name an' details of the last occupants of that address in Key West an' I need the names, addresses an' any other info on any friends or family members the last occupants had within five minutes…. Yeah call me as soon as you got it. Bye."

Taking Kate's hand he brought it to his lips and placed an absentminded kiss on her fingertips, as they strolled leisurely towards Sayid's street.

"When all this is over, if we're still alive, maybe you'll introduce me to all these people behind the scenes that take orders and have so much access." Kate probed in a conciliatory tone.

James frowned but gave a curt nod in agreement, turning down to look at her he didn't get a chance to speak as his phone rang again. He picked it up and nodded a few times before cutting the line.

"Turns out that a young couple from New Orleans, is currently on vacay in Thailand, used to live here. Names were Roger an' Jane Dubois, sold the place to Sayid two years ago, they've since moved to Jacksonville, Florida. They met at Notre Dame an' she's a housewife while he's an advertising exec. We're Rob an' Heather Maguire their friends from college. Rob's in Sales an' Heather's a nurse, think you can fake that?"

"Yeah of course, should I keep my Southern accent?" Kate asked, secretly impressed by James' source of information.

James steered Kate around a kid's discarded tricycle, "Yeah Heather's from Louisiana 'pparently, an' Rob's from Toronto, Canada."

"Alright, do you have the key?" Kate whispered as they approached Sayid's front door.

James nodded as he approached a string of potted plants to the left of the doorbell, and pretending to root around pulled out the key they'd found in Tampa.

"Roger! Jane! Hey it's us Heather an' Rob! Open up!" Kate called out as she rung the doorbell a few times to no answer.

James shrugged at her then inserted the key in the front door and unlocked it. Stepping in they shut the door, letting out a deep breath when nothing confronted them on sight.

"Rob! Jane!" Kate called out expectantly.

To their relief nobody answered. James pulled out two pairs of latex gloves; handing one pair to Kate they quickly snapped them on. Kate rooted around in her fanny pack, pulling out a small canister and a gadget that beeped intermittently, started to canvas the hallway, heading for the living room. James raised his eyebrows in silent question.

"You're not the only one with a trick or two up your sleeve." Kate mocked gently in her Southern drawl as the gadget beeped twice by a remote control.

Picking it up Kate neutralized the sound and sprayed a black substance from the canister on the remote's sensor. Mouthing the word 'camera' to James he nodded, following her from a safe distance. He searched the places that she had already neutralized but found nothing. They approached a Baby Grand piano that took up half the living room, it had several pictures of an attractive Middle Eastern woman in a headscarf. There was one of Sayid and Ashley standing in front of the house which James and Kate looked at with a combination of sadness and guilt. Dragging her away from the picture, James guided Kate to the stairs and pulling out his pistol followed her and her gadget up.

Twenty minutes later, they had found and neutralized four cameras and eight microphones in total but a search of the house had yielded nothing. It was obvious that the place had already been searched very recently as there were signs of things that had been there having been lifted. They went back downstairs and James went through the pile of Sayid's unopened mail, finding a khaki envelope that was thick and heavy amidst the pile of junk mail. He slipped the envelope into one of the big pockets in his cargo shorts. Then taking Kate's hand, they walked out of the house, pretending to return the key on their way down the driveway.

"Let's try the neighbors." Kate suggested quietly as she took the lead and approached the house next door to Sayid's.

Before they had walked up to the front door, it opened suddenly, an obese, blonde-haired man with freckles and a friendly open face smiling at them in welcome.

"Howdy!"

"Hi! We're Heather an' Rob Maguire, we've come all the way from the East Coast an' we're lookin' for our friends Roger an' Jane Dubois. Last we checked they used to live next door." Kate drawled as she held out her hand to the man.

"Pleased to meet you, Heather… Rob. I'm Tom Karlsson, I've lived here for five years, and I remember Roger and Jane. They sold their house to a genuine Iraqi two years ago though, come on in and have a glass of ice tea." Tom said as he ushered them into his well-lit and air-conditioned home.

They walked through the living room into the kitchen which was warm with the smells of baking.

"Let's go out into my backyard, got some lawn chairs out and a nice umbrella to protect your fair skin. I'll bring out the ice-tea and some of my world famous brownies!"

James and Kate shared a look and shrugged, sitting down on the lawn chairs and looking around the yard. Surreptitiously, James looked across the wood fence into Sayid's yard to gauge what Tom could see or might have seen from here.

"Here we go! I'll pour the ice tea, help yourselves to the brownies they're still moist."

"Thank you, Mr Karlsson, you're mighty kind." Kate drawled, batting her eyelashes at Tom.

James rolled his eyes as he accepted a glass of ice tea and a plate with a few brownies on it.

"Yeah thanks man… I can't believe those guys moved and didn't tell us where they'd gone, its so unlike Roger or Jane." James started off conversationally.

"Please call me Tom! Hmm… yeah it's strange, two years is a long time but you know what life's like, it just takes over and the things you meant to do get left by the wayside. I mean, I've been planning on seriously losing weight since I moved out here and five years have gone by!" Tom chuckled, patting his large girth.

James commiserated, patting his own belly. Kate bit into the brownies, her eyes widening in delight at the delicious flavour.

"Wow, Tom these are really good. Is this your own recipe?"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Hmm… delicious… Hon, have a bite of this little piece of heaven, it tastes almost as good as ma cousin Virginia-Mae's secret recipe!" Kate offered James a bite of her brownie which he accepted, his eyes twinkling at her accomplished play-acting.

"So, Tom what do you suggest we do? We sure don't have a clue on how we can find our dear friends. Lord, you should have seen our faces when we saw pictures of an Arab woman with that scarf wrapped 'round her head in our Roger an' Jane's house!" Kate twittered.

"Not to worry, I can give you the card of the realtor that sold their house for them. He might have a forwarding address or even know where they are now… It's funny, but I knew the minute I saw what a respectable couple you were that you weren't here to see

Abdul." Tom remarked.

"Abdul? Is that the Iraqi's name? Hon, I told you his name would be Abdul or Muhammad or Ahmad or somesuch now didn't I?" Kate addressed James.

He nodded taciturnly.

"You were sayin' Tom?"

"I was saying, the only people that have ever visited Abdul were this screwed up teen with crazy pink hair called Ashley, her social worker and some other hippy-looking volunteer types."

"Is that the poor child we saw on that picture on his piano?"

"That would be her."

"So he's a philanthropist this Abdul?"

"Of a kind, he works with this org called Street Strife, and they help out troubled teens, kids, adults, you name it… I think it's very commendable of him but something about him was never right."

"Certainly, especially when you see how screwed up his very own country is an' here comes gettin' all high an' mighty in the U.S. of A."

"Heather!"

"What Hon, I'm just sayin'! Tom here didn't take any offence did you Tom?"

"No of course not, I think Heather's got a point. And to support your point, the FBI were here yesterday morning, searching the house and asking us neighbors all kinds of questions." Tom said in a conspiratory whisper.

"No kidding!" James exclaimed, leaning closer to hear what else Tom had to say.

"Oh my Lord! You see what I mean Hon? These people aren't to be trusted look what they did in New York!"

"I'm not kidding Rob, the FBI were here yesterday morning, told us to contact them if we saw anything or anyone suspicious as the investigation was still ongoing. When I asked them what exactly this was about they said they weren't at liberty to say!" Tom finished off dramatically.

Kate brought a hand to her chest and grabbed James' arm with the other one.

"Hon! We've stumbled into some terrorist's lair!"

"Don't get so over-excited Pumpkin I'm sure whatever it is doesn't have to do with terrorism. If it had, they'd have brought down a Hazmat team with them yesterday, isn't that right Tom?" James said in a reassuring tone.

Tom nodded in agreement. "Of course."

"Well, Pumpkin pie, say bye to Tom now, we gotta get going remember?" James prodded softly.

"Of course, thank you so much for bein' such a fine host, Tom. I must give you our phone number an' address perhaps you can come an' visit us one of these days."

"Sweetie, we're relocating to New Orleans next month remember? Why don't we take down Tom's phone number, we've got his address, we can call him as soon as we're settled in."

"Oh, sure… I'm sorry Tom, see my Momma's gettin' on an' I just wanna be able to take good care of her in the winter of her life-"

"Come on Pumpkin!" James said as he pulled Kate up with him.

Tom rose swiftly, nodding in understanding as Kate rolled her eyes at James.

"Ma husband, such a Yankee, well Canadian but it's really the same thing. Manners aren't inbred in them like they are for us… I'm sorry Tom, we really must be gettin' on. Do give me your card or your phone number so I can add you in my scrapbook." Kate drawled charmingly as they went back indoors.

Tom scribbled his number down for her on a piece of note paper and led them to the front door.

"Thank you so very much for your time Tom, where are my manners I didn't even ask if you were married!"

"Yes I am, my wife's a Chartered Accountant, she's back from New York tonight that's why the place looks so good… and also why I'm making brownies, they're her favourite."

"Your wife's a lucky lady Tom. Thank you once again, I'll make sure to send you somethin' from my cousin Virginia-Mae's recipe book."

"Bye for now Tom, and thank you." James said warmly, shaking the other man's hand.

"Bye Tom!" Kate called as James, arm around her shoulders steered her down the driveway.

"Did you wanna talk for Florida back there or what Freckles?"

"Is that your way of saying my idea paid off better than you'd imagined?" Kate shot back sweetly.

"No. Yes. Whatever… what I'm tryin' to say is its easier to stay undercover if you don't talk too much an' give yourself opportunity to slip up." James explained patiently.

"If I hadn't talked so much he'd never have told us about the FBI visit yesterday morning. Also if I hadn't suggested we speak to him, he might have called them to report that we were suspicious." She finished off in a superior tone.

"Fair enough, but another neighbor might still report us if they were watchin' us."

"I'm willing to take my chances."

"Of course you are, you don't have much to lose."

"That is so unfair, I have plenty to lose especially now that I know I have four kids whose lives I have completely missed out on."

"Whatever Freckles, if they were so damn important to you, we'd be in Marshall, Texas right now, just 'bout to have dinner with those four misfits. They'd be hoppin' all over the joint in that loud chorus of theirs, while Viv and Mel heckled from the sidelines."

Kate stopped and cocking her head to the side stared at him in dawning realization, "You miss them! That's what this is all about!"

"I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Do too! Patty was right, they do have you wrapped around their little fingers, just admit it!"

"Alright fine! I do miss 'em an' as of tomorrow it'll be the longest I've been away from them since they were born." James admitted.

Kate wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight.

"I'm sorry, I know this is all my fault."

James hugged her back and squeezed her tightly.

"I know."

"Hey!"

"If we make it outta this you're gonna have some serious ass-kissin' to do, as for now, come on let's go find somewhere to stay." He said lightly, drawing away from her and leading her down the road.

Kate blinked, wondering if James realized that it was the second time in one day that he had hinted that they had a future together after all this.

**A Few Hours Later**

Kate watched James from under lowered lashes as their elevator climbed up to their floor at the Prince D'Or. Dressed in the clothes they had been wearing in the morning before Monique and her crew had worked their magic. It felt like a lifetime ago when she had donned the silk Matthew Williamson floral print wraparound dress and sparkly gel flip-flops. James pulled off his LA Raiders cap tapping it against his thigh in an offbeat staccato. The floral print shirt had also been balled up and stuffed into the military style duffel bag he was shouldering. Kate was admiring the contrast of his golden tan and the white wife-beater when the elevator doors opened on their floor. James held out his hand, letting Kate precede him. When they got to the door he slid the card in the slot and opened the door gallantly for her. She smiled indulgently as she stepped into their room. After a quick sweep of their rooms, they both kicked off their flip-flops and sprawled on the bed in exhaustion.

"Ahh… much better." James sighed.

Kate closed her eyes and murmured in agreement. After they had left Sayid's neighbourhood, they had taken a stroll amongst a bunch of condos with a view of Sayid's house. They had settled on renting an apartment on the second floor of a relatively uniform cream building. Then they had hired a cab back to Miami before collecting James' duffel bag from a safe deposit box, changing back into their normal clothes in a public toilet, hopping onto a tourist bus back to South Beach and finally arriving at the Prince D'Or.

Rolling onto her stomach, Kate ran a hand through James' hair. He groaned in appreciation.

"So Ford, what are your thoughts, observations, and or criticisms about today?"

James smiled at her use of his family nickname, raising a hand to stroke Kate's back he took a deep breath and frowned slightly.

"First off, the chances are pretty high we got spotted today. I don't think we should continue being seen as a male and female couple."

"Okay I agree with the first point…."

"Wait I'm not done yet Freckles… If we've been spotted already an' our bad guys know 'bout Tampa, we just cannot risk usin' the guy/girl pairin' anymore. Most importantly whatever we're doin'... we're racin' against time when it comes to Sayid's life, getting to know who exactly is our enemy and what they're capable of." His hand tightened on the silk covering her back and his heartbeat sped up slightly at the mention of just how dangerous their situation was.

"We've been through so much these last two days and its _not _enough!" Kate mumbled in frustration as she buried her face in his chest.

"We better keep the momentum goin' then, find Ashley's Pimp Daddy, he might end up really dead by tomorrow."

Kate raised her head and looked into his eyes, "Is that a priority?"

"Yeah, Peaches I think so… 'sides at least that way we can get wasted on the job an' I can check your ass out in the teeny tiny shorts I made sure Monique put in my pocket."

"I'm starting to sense an ass theme going on here."

"I don't know where you're gettin' 'ass theme' from Freckles, I'm just tryin' to make sure we don't blow our cover, if that means your ass-cheeks don't get a lot of cover for the greater good then, Amen!"

She whacked him on the chest and failed to stifle the mirth bubbling up inside of her. James' chest rumbled and shook silently along with her as he wrapped his arm over her head in a playful chokehold.

-xx-

**Postnote**: So have I totally lost the plot? Are they still in character? Do y'all still care about this fic? Don't forget to feed the writer! Trust me, it really, really helps.


End file.
